My Gift to You This Thanksgiving Morning

Hanging on my fridge, for approximately 4 years now, is a writing by Max Lucado, one of my all time favorite Christian writers, that seems to hear the heartbeat of our God. As I was pouring my coffee this morning, I was thinking of my girls enjoying their Thanksgiving week in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Cape Hatterus in Frisco. What a beautiful beach! And they both are sharing this time together, with those they love. I love that.

A few things must be accomplished this a.m...but I have this nagging desire to give all those who need a hug from God, a copy of Mr. Lucado's insight. So, without further ado...

                                  EACH DAY
                                by Max Lucado

It's quiet.
It's early. My coffee is hot.
The sky is still black.
The world is still asleep.
The day is coming.
In a few moments, the day will arrive.
It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose.

And so I choose.

I choose love...
No occasion justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy...
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...
The tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace...
I will live forgiven.
I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience...
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness...
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness...
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness...
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust.
My associates will not question my word.
My wife will not question my love.
And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness...
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I am a spiritual being...

After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

"...the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness." 
           ~Galatians 5:22

May your day be blessed in Jesus.

Until that day when I meet Him face to face, you will find me here...in Mary's World.

To Adorn or Not to Adorn

"And let not your adornment be MERELY external...braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." I Peter 3: 3-4

In my study of the Scriptures this morning, this particular verse grabbed me because of so much misunderstanding of what the apostle Peter was trying to convey. Much of the time we grab a verse and say, "aha! I KNEW those people were sinning against God and all that is holy!" Please understand I am not set on proving anyone wrong in their faith of the Scriptures and their understanding of them. I love trying to unlock the mysteries of the Word of God. Some things just seem contradictory, yet I know that not to be true. We must "study to show ourselves approved, rightly dividing the Word of Truth." And I realize I am far from understanding all that is in there. But it is our guide to living and we must find a place of peace with the Spirit of God. So here is my take on this particular situation:

The apostle does not condemn true ornament, nor does he condemn the desire to appear in such a way as to secure the esteem of others. God does not condemn real ornament. The universe is full of it. The colors of the clouds and of the rainbow; the varied hues of flowers; the plumage of birds, and the covering of many of the animals of the forest; the green grass; the variety of hill and valley; the beauty of the human complexion, the ruddy cheek, and the sparkling eye, are all of the nature of ornament. They are something superadded to what would be merely useful, to make them appear healthy or more alive. Few or none of these things are absolutely necessary to the things to which they are attached. The eye could see without the various tints of beauty that are drawn upon it, and the lips and the cheeks could perform their functions without their beautiful tints, and the vegetable world could exist without the variegated colors that are painted on it; but God meant that this should be a beautiful world; that it should appear well; that there should be something more than mere utility. The true notion of ornament or adorning is that which will make any person or thing appear well, or beautiful, to others; and the apostle does not prohibit that which would have this effect in the wife. The best thing she was to seek, was not that which is merely external, but that which is internal, and which God regards as of so great a value. The outward adornment was not to be the main or principal thing. Her heart was not to be set on it. He does not say she should wholly neglect her personal appearance, for she has no more right to be offensive to her husband by neglecting her personal appearance, than by having an obsession with it.

Synopsis:
Those whose heart is set on God, will from the heart honor and adore Him above all else. I feel better about myself when I do not neglect the external as I build upon the truth of God's Word for my spirit life. I can accomplish so much more when I feel I am at my best outwardly as well as inwardly. My outward appearance does not make my heart glad, it adds to my heart. "First the natural, then the spiritual." How we care for the external shows pretty much what the internal is. God is a God of beauty and order. Don't be ashamed to make yourself look well. Sure there is a limit. But I think we all know what that limit is. He is faithful and will draw us back to the truth if we wander too far away. It's all a heart issue. Be beautiful today!!!

Until the next time, you will find me here...in Mary's World

The Isolation Chamber

For some time now...approximately 1and 1/2 years, give or take a few months, I have felt quite isolated. Oh yes, I have my wonderful friends and I still connect with clients on a daily basis. For the most part, my life continues to be busy, yet with plenty of "down" time...time for rest. Sometimes the resting part, even though appreciated, stresses me just a little. I've always been a worker. From the age of 9 years, most of what I remember is rising early for the demanding chores of farm life, to getting into bed at a decent hour for the rest needed to accomplish all that must be done the following day. Not much has changed since then, except for this very empty feeling I have on occasion.

My husband and I accepted pastoral positioning in March of 2006. With vision and great anticipation of the things to come, we put our hands to the task. Many unexpected things began to take place within the first year. One of our co-leaders, and very close friend, was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor and left us just a few weeks shy of a year after the diagnosis. My beautiful sister left this world only 25 days later, being released from the shell of a prison she was in. A rare disease, PSP, had attacked her body, causing the brain to short-circuit from the body. Knowing everything that was happening, yet not being able to move any part of her body, except the eyelid...on occasion. She could not even communicate her needs or desires. PSP robbed her of her life, causing a complete dependency upon love and the care-giving of her devoted husband.

The church that began as "Heart of Worship" went through many changes also. Using what we had until we got what we needed, was a challenge (to say the least) that we met, knowing God was our provider. The church grew fast, with an awesome nursery and kids church. We formed a prosperous women's group and developed leadership meetings...and as fast as it grew, it diminished. Short-sightedness and being new at what God had put in our hands, we made more than a few mistakes, causing a walk-out of our newly formed worship team and then a disturbance was felt in the midst of our women's group, to bring division there as well.  Many trying things happened that surrounded the whole church body, that I won't expound on. But, all the while, God was teaching my husband and I about true leadership. Yet,  slowly I began a "fall/slide" down from the top of the world. It was as if  only a few believed in what we were doing. And now, four years later, only a faithful few remain.

We re-grouped and changed our name to "LifeGate Church", keeping the same by-laws and vision. We knew what we were called to in Miami. We were just having a hard time getting there. A new field takes much plowing. Ridding the field of danger to new plants. And it all was happening without us trying to make it happen. We prepared ourselves for service to those God brought our way, and left the results up to Him. So, here we are, trying to understand and find our way. Not sure where we are headed.

"Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10, has settled in my spirit of late. I ran across a newsletter from Os Hillman a few months back, and it spoke to me, so I copied it off. Once again, I ran across this same newsletter this a.m. So, I am really feeling this is God's response to my continual question, "What are we doing here, in the place we find ourselves to be?" May I share it with you?

"There is a time and place in our walk with God in which He sets us in a place of waiting. It is a place in which all past experiences are of no value. It is a time of such stillness that it can disturb the most faithful if we do not understand that He is the one who has brought us to this place for only a season. It is as if God has placed a wall around us. No new opportunities...simply inactivity. During these times, God is calling us aside to fashion something new in us. It is an isolation chamber designed to call us to deeper roots of prayer and faith. It is not a comfortable place, especially for a task-driven workplace believer. Our nature cries out, "You must do something," while God is saying, "Be still and know that I am God." You know the signs that you have been brought into this chamber when He has removed many things from your life and you can't seem to change anything. Most religious people live a very planned and orchestrated life where they know almost everything that will happen. But for people in whom God is performing a deeper work, He brings them into a time of quietness that seems almost eerie. They cannot say what God is doing. They just know that He is doing a work that cannot be explained to themselves or to others."

Hopefully the chamber will open soon...until then, you will find me in Mary's World.

Matters of the Heart

I rarely listen to music on my commute to work. I like the quiet sounds that surround me. The noise of my car's tires as they rotate on the asphalt, the gentle hum of the air conditioner in the warm months and the soft flow of warm air caressing my feet, as the heater gives of itself, in the cool months. On occasion I will insert a music CD, if I'm feeling especially lonely for my girls or if I need a pick-me-up spiritually. And then, there was a time some years ago, that I constantly had a teaching CD in the drive, filling my being with anything pertinent to life. But not so much now. Only occasionally...

A couple of days ago, as I was heading down Veteran's Boulevard, my heart was reaching out to God for my family, asking His protection of mind, body and soul...and for His presence to be not only understood, but accepted on a moment by moment basis. I began to sense His presence with me as I talked with Him. And this blog is a result of that meeting. This is what was impressed upon my heart...

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence, O God. Take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation, and renew a right spirit within me." It was a song we at Fellowship of Christians sang many a time, many a year ago. It was a Scripture song taken from Psalm 51:10-12. I never could sing the whole song without tears streaming down my face. It was as if I stood in His presence, humbled at the thought of never seeing His face or being in His presence. Why did this song attach itself to me, now, at this time in my life? I have been a Christian since 1973, and now, God is impressing this Scripture upon my heart. It hasn't left me since that day driving to work.

I decided I must know what could actually take His spirit from me. First, I read the whole Scripture reference and included verse 13, to get a better understanding of what He was saying to me. Here is how it reads in the NAS translation.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Thy presence, and do not take Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Thy ways, and sinners will be converted. " Psalm 51:10-13
Okay...there's the reason we need His Holy Spirit with us. But what must we do to cause His presence to leave us or for Him to refuse to sustain us with His spirit?

II Kings 13:23 says, "But the Lord was gracious to them and had compassion on them and turned to them because of His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and would not destroy them or cast them from His presence until now." Wow! There really IS a time God will say, "enough." Disobedience was found in the leadership of the camp, by being willing to do only partially, as God instructed. The king of Israel gave up before he should have...not completing the instructions. Oh my! Now, God would withdraw His covering, and give only partial victory.

II Kings 24:20 says, "For through the anger of the LORD this came about in Jerusalem and Judah until He cast them out from His presence. And Zedekiah rebelled against the king of Babylon." Zedekiah was self-serving. So he was denied the presence of God and if you are curious as to what happened to this young king, read II Kings 25. I know this all sounds extreme, but before Jesus paid the price of our wrongdoing, this is how people were dealt with. Now it's mainly "matters of the heart". Something much worse to have to contend with.

Lastly, Jeremiah 7:15 says, "And I will cast you out of My sight, as I have cast out all your brothers, all the off-spring of Ephraim." A few of the things I gleened from this passage (the whole chapter) is this:
1. Do not trust in deceptive words.
2. Practice fairness with others.
3. Do not make life more difficult for strangers, orphans or widows.
4. Serve God alone. Put nothing between you and Him.
5. Stealing, murder and commiting adultery, lieing, and giving to the kingdom of darkness, are all lumped together and are dealt with the same. Especially when we do any, or all, of these things then come and stand in the house of God (the church) and proclaim that we are delivered, then go back and continue with the same standards.

In this particular place, God had declared His love for them, but they refused it by not hearing His voice. "And I spoke to you, rising up early and speaking, but you did not hear, and I called you but you did not answer."  Verse 15: "And I will cast you out of My sight, as I have cast out all your brothers, all the offspring of Ephraim." Going to verse 23..."But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way which I command you, that it may be well with you. Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their evil heart, and went backward and not forward."

True...He was speaking to a disobedient people back in the day. I do understand that. But is there a message here for us today? God has given us much here in the good ole U.S. of A. We are such a blessed nation, even though it is struggling at the present time. The reason? Could it be from disobedient leaders as stated in II Kings 13:23? And could we bring it closer to home? What about our own decisions? Are they obedient to God or are they self-serving? Is it possible we struggle in life because we have not made Christ a part of our decisions?  Just a passing thought...

One thing I know. I cannot live without His Holy Spirit directing me. Do I make mistakes? Oh yes...certainly I do. But it's when I'm not listening. Except to my own selfish ambitions. But He always...always, gets me back on track, because my heart belongs to Him and it's desire is to fulfill all that He has placed me here to fulfill.

Create in me a clean heart, O God...never take your Holy Spirit from me. Don't allow me to sit too long in my own doings, Lord. Keep my eyes on the goal and off myself. Teach me to follow your voice only and not consider any other. I know You are for me and not against me. Your ways cause me to prosper in mind, body and spirit, like no other. My life here is short, but will be somewhere for eternity. I will always have an awareness of life for all eternity. Let it be in Your presence and those you have given me to love here, for this time. Make us always aware of your presence and acknowledge You as God of the Universe and all things created, and serve no other. Just as I enjoy hearing my own children's voices, I know You must also wait with anticipation to hear MY voice. Let me always hear your heartbeat as it sends it's message to all mankind that You have made a way for us to live a full life, if we will but hear your instructions and obey.

For the time being, I will be here...in Mary's World

It Was Good to See You

I can't believe I'm sitting here, looking at a blank screen, trying to come up with something to blog about. There is much I COULD blog about...it just wouldn't be the thing to do. It's late...I should go to bed, but my mind is way too busy to settle down just yet.

We had a lovely dinner with our youngest this afternoon...got to visit for a bit, came home and watched a movie on BluRay, then she was gone. As quick as she came...she went. It was a surprise to see her...didn't know she was in town. But it was a really nice surprise, none-the-less. I was shopping for groceries as she was sitting in the automotive office with her daddy, waiting for me to come back there to find her...all the way from North Carolina. Poof! She's here. Poof! She's gone. Oh, don't get me wrong! I am very thankful to have this opportunity. A chance to look at her, face to face. To look into those beautiful blue eyes and see her smile as she tells of the encounter on the plane coming from Raleigh to Memphis. Her visit just wasn't long enough. But...we'll take what we can get.

My late friend Jani, used to tell me about one of her sons coming home for visits. (Couldn't get any sympathy at all from her. Yes, I've complained about short visits before.) He stayed with her and Leroy, but she rarely saw him. As soon as he got up, he was off to see a friend or two and didn't come back until after bed-time. She shared how much it hurt, but had to realize she was "just Mom." So she would kiss him good-bye and make sure there was food there for him, should he want it. That might be kinda nice though. At least there would be the memory of Mom's home cooked meals. Gosh...it's been so long since I've been at home to actually cook a meal. So, maybe that wouldn't work here. Maybe there's nothing here to come to.

Well, whatever the reasons, I'll grab what I can and be grateful. Until the next visit, I'll remember the good-bye hug. "Hug me like you mean it, Mom." I was so sad to see her go, but didn't want her to know just how much. I suppose my emotions still rule me. I'll work on that. Maybe.

Here I'll wait...in Mary's World.

918.542.6819

Must I call this number? Really? For the last three mornings, upon awaking, these call numbers have been running through my head. Why? Am I to call and see who answers? I've wanted to! But haven't...yet. They are the numbers that had been allotted to my bro-in-law and sister, as a phone connection during their 40 years on highway 10. Well, I don't actually remember the exact number of years they lived there, but I've been here for 35 years and I know they were there sometime before that. And I think they had the same number for all that time.

So, why are these numbers running a race through my mind? Good grief! Are they in any way tied to the 5:55, or the 4:44, or the 3:33, or the 2:22 or the 1:11, or the 10:10, or the11:11, or the 12:12, that seem to plague me???

Most of the time, it's the 5:55 that is brought to my attention. I have searched and searched to understand the possible meaning. Why do my eyes always look at a clock only during these time? The number five (5) signifies "grace". Three (3), "resurrection". So am I being told that grace has been or is being multiplied to me (five 3x's) or that grace has been or will be resurrected for me? The number 15 (5 x 3)signifies "rest". So then...am I to rest, knowing that grace has been resurrected for me? I think so! ONE problem solved! But now that I THINK I understand the message to me, what does my very much missed sister's phone number have to do with anything? Awwww...could it be God is telling me that His grace is sufficient for me, has been multiplied for me, where the loss of my sister is concerned? You know, there have been times I feared toppling over that elusive edge of reality to the point of wondering if I really am living in the "real world." I have come to grips with the possibility of being pacified and allowed myself to believe that if I indeed am living in a fantasy world, that at least it is my reality. And I like my reality! Most of the time. =}

Well...as with much of the time, when I sit down to write out my thoughts, solutions come that have been a mystery to me. I've always known that without the grace of God, I could not walk through this life and live in sanity. He has not given the spirit of fear, but of love, of power and of a sound mind. I've always known that God is the one I can depend on to get me through all the difficulties in life, the rough spots, the uncomfortable spots...some self-inflicted, some others-inflicted. There are many times I want to withdraw from society at large. And I do realize, I'm not the only one. I've heard one of my brother's say it way too many times. I don't like it. Isolation says we don't want to face another issue. But that is just what the enemy of our soul wants us to do. Put us out of the race. At the end of our days, we'll go home to be with the Father, but during our stay here...well, it would simply be without cause if we pulled back and never touched a life. Grace...God's grace will make sure we survive and thrive! Until the day comes for us to go home. I want to stand face to face with Him with excitement because of the lives He touched through this one vessel of His. I read a book one time by Patsy Clairmont, called "God Uses Cracked Pots". The point of the book was to let all who read it, know the difficulties of this life serve to allow God's light to show through the pain (the cracks). He brings us to victory, in spite of our weaknesses. It is evident that only by His grace, not by our strength, we come through with smiles on our faces. Real smiles. No phony baloney smiles.

Even though I do miss my Beck, miss her terribly some days...I can't help but believe she is still here with me. Traveling at the speed of light, going wherever she wants to go. And, no...I don't believe she's an Angel. I believe she is who God created her to be. Her spirit, who we knew through looking into her eyes, is with the Lord. Just as my wonderful friend, Jani, also is. They must be having a great time together. Laughing up a storm. I have a picture of them together from years ago when we all were part of Fellowship of Christians. Holding each others arms, laughing up a storm. What does that mean, anyway? Laughing up a storm? Beats me...I may have to run a search engine on that one. =} I think I may try to figure out a way to get that picture posted to this blog. Why does my mind ramble so much??? Would someone call 918.542.6819 and see who answers? Get back to me on that one, okay? =}

Until then...you'll find me in Mary's World.

How Does One Get from There to Here?

Driving home the other evening I pulled in behind a pick-up truck loaded down with bits of this and that. Iron bars, broken up cabinets, wire pieces sticking out in every direction and other things unidentifiable. Sitting up next to the cab were two people propped as if they didn't have a care in the world. They were almost hidden in amongst all the stuff. As we came upon a stop light, I eased on forward, maybe a little closer than I should have. I wanted to get a look at the guy and gal staring back at me. She was very much over weight; so much so that her arms flared out from the sides of her torso. In her right hand was a large drink cup. I have no idea what she had been drinking, but from the appearance of things, it was something she shouldn't have been. The guy looked a little rough also. They both looked as if they had not seen a shower in some time; hair matted and the pieces that could free themselves was blowing in the hot summer wind. As we came to a stop, she handed the cup to the male person, took out a pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and as she cupped her hand over the end, lit it. So, maybe I judged too quickly...evidently they had enough money to purchase cigarettes and she really didn't look that hungry. So how did they get to this place in their lives?

It was just a question I asked myself. They may be the wealthiest people in the four state area, just moving some things from here to there. Speculation rarely is correct...but I have a habit of making stories up in my head that I think fits whatever it is I'm looking at. Keeps life interesting for me. =} I was getting a few groceries in Wal-Mart one Fall evening and as I rounded an end cap, I noticed a man and a woman looking through some shelving as if they were keeping an eye on another lady. My husband came up about that time and I pointed out to him the two that were surely having an affair and didn't want the poor wife to see them together, so they were hiding behind some shelving until she moved on out of the area and they could go their merry, hopefully seperate ways. My husband laughed at me and informed me the two were Wal-Mart under-cover employees watching a woman they had seen put something in her purse from one of the shelves. Actually she had several things she had tucked away in her purse. They were just waiting on her to go through check out so they could "nab" her. I truly have an interesting mind...contrary to popular opinion.

So...back to the couple in the pick-up truck. My thoughts surrounded their lives as I assessed it in the few moments of waiting for the light to turn green. Did they come from poverty and just never had the opportunities so many others have? Or was this their choosing? If so, why??? What could have happened that would cause what I viewed as great need? But still...there was that pack of cigarettes. Ya know, I've seen people sitting at the intersection of 43 and I-44, dragging on a cigarette, a very nice, healthy dog sitting there with them and holding a sign that tells all that pass by them they need food, money or whatever you can give them. Where did they get that sign? And the markers to write on it? Once in a while I'll see people with just a scrap of cardboard and the words are written with what appears to be an ink pen. Can't hardly see the words. I don't have much of a hard time believing them. But these other people that look as if they've never missed a meal in their lives...nor their dog...and smoking up a storm, well, I'm bumfuzzeled. And you'll see them every week for about four, and then they switch locations with others. Well...I'm off track once again. I think sometimes I must think too much. =}

I didn't worry myself with the situation too long, because they had a ride to wherever they were going and it appeared they were good to go with a full pack (maybe it wasn't full...I don't really know) of cigarettes and one honkin big drink. I didn't have that nagging pull at my heart strings that I have had on occasion, so I let my mind go to the next situation. Which was just to sit quietly, appreciating all the favor I seem to walk in, as I drove home. And as soon as I pulled into our drive, I thanked the Lord for allowing me a safe trip home and giving us the opportunity to choose wisely, providing wisdom when we ask for it. Without His direction in my life, I'm pretty sure the freedom I so enjoy now, would not be mine.

I am, as always...in Mary's World. (God's sharing it with me) =}

The Finisher

It's been so long since I've blogged, I forgot my own URL. Took me downloading a Google Tool Bar before it hit me! www.marysworldmiami.blogspot.com. Every time I tried to find my page, I was directed to hundreds of mary's world's. Oh my goodness. Had I known before hand, I would never have titled my blog "mary's world". Some were just a little much for me. Well, here I am at last...Mary's World (the REAL Mary's World). =}

I just had to share my most recent memorable event. I came to the salon today to do a little side work. I come here most every Saturday to do "a little side work." But today I have finally accomplished the cleaning off of the shelves just beneath the check-out nook, next to the check-out computer. =} They have needed it for a very loooonnnnnggggg time. I had gotten to the place of finding absolutely nothing! And I've always considered myself to be quite organized. "A place for everything and everything in it's place." That's been my life's motto. I'm afraid I have lost sight of that as the seasons have rolled past me in an ever increasing rate of speed. I just can't seem to keep up like I used to. My associate at work would tell you that my mind "flits" from object to object and from task to task. She may be more right than I really want to admit.

So, today...well, it's been productive! I like productive. Makes me feel complete. Especially since the evidence is so overwhelming against my productivity, I find it very encouraging to be productive in at least one mission. It seems a very disturbing truth is arising about my inability to finish anything. If you would look through the book shelves in our study at home, you would find a lot of bookmarks marking the last page read, and it wouldn't be the last page of the book. I always seem to find another book I want to read and start on that one...when I find the time when I'm not so sleepy I can actually understand what it is I'm reading. Unless it is a Frank Peretti book. Nothing stops me from completing Peretti's writings.

Today, as I was clearing out everything on the shelves (yes, Nicole, even the printer shelf), I came across something I found to be intriguing. There were 22.5 pieces of unused computer paper. One side had been printed on, but the other was blank, so I had folded them in half and saved them. Just in case I needed something to scribble something down on. I just couldn't bare to throw perfectly good paper in the trash. But wait...that wasn't the end of my hording. There were 15 South Side Salon note pads, (those I hand out to clients), with only a few of the pages used, and tucked away next to the printer. Some only had one bit of information on the top page. Now, why didn't I just use the others until the pages were all used up? Someone else will have to answer that question. I don't have a clue.

Well, now you have seen inside my world just a little more. Let's hope it doesn't deteriorate too quickly. I may have to get rid of all my stuff before I want to. I can feel it happening already. Time to downsize! De-junk, and finish what I start, for cryin' out loud!

Until the next episode, I remain in Mary's World...

Man Needs Woman/Woman Needs Man

"And they shall become one" is a much deeper revelation than it would at first appear to be. Many have had their opinions on this statement, including me. My Scripture reading came from I Corinthians 11 this morning. A much misunderstood passage...in my opinion. I have  heard so many (all different) definitions of what the Apostle Paul was speaking of in this letter to the Corinthians. And much can be imagined if we're too lazy to search out in it's entirety, the intent of this statement. As the years are quickly passing, I have become more of a scholar than in the years past and am thoroughly enjoy it. And yet I realize I may (and most likely will) miss something as I study; yet I can trust the Lords faithfulness to cover my mistakes. So this is, once again, an entry into the brain (and heart) functions of one M.J. Lewis.

It intrigues me to see a pattern of such an organized God! In the beginning, God created woman from man, for man. She was created from a part of him that was close to his heart...a rib. Some say it was one of his floating ribs and not from the cage area. Even that tells me women were never intended to be "caged in". But to be free of bondage by the man. And even though we women had our origins from a man, men come from women. Yes, I know...hold on man! You still have a very real part in the process! However my point is even a man cannot bring forth another man or woman without the woman! (Unless you've had a very unsuccessful sex change as that one she/he that was all over the news of being pregnant...and she/he was not really a man...duh!)

Are you beginning to see the importance of "the two shall become one" issue? From the beginning of time, we were charged with loving as one would love oneself! Once you see the unity God intended, you will also see how love goes much deeper than disagreements that seperate the two. Our "humanity" was not to over-ride our spirituality and cause division among us. "What God has put together, let not man dissolve." We fight against ourselves when we fight against each other. Oh my...this is so very deep, I'm just not sure I can put into words the depth of that statement as I see it. And feel it. Last Sunday afternoon God visited my heart like He's never done before now. I was overcome with a very real "touch" from the Lord I serve. I still am not a perfect individual and I haven't grown wings or a halo, but the Lord allowed me to experience a short time with Him. Too short. It probably was all I could handle. I wasn't "sitting in His presence". I wasn't "spending time with Him". I wasn't reading the Word or studying. I was watching a movie! A very unexpected clip in the movie popped up and took my breath away. No it wasn't a startling moment. It was a very sweet, loving moment that came from a Jewish song that was sang from someone most would call "wayward." It certainly pierced my heart.

I suppose it's all wrapped up as coming from a loving God that knows everything about us, because He is the one who created order! And it was He that set the course for us. It was He that unified us and caused us not to be able to do without the other. Male and female. Man is to protect (in every sense of the word) woman because she is part of him. Woman is to honor man because he not only is her protector, he causes her to be able to bring another male or female into this world. Yet he can not do this on his own! I know I'm not revealing some hidden secret, but if you will take the time to really think about this great design of God, it may bring a new understanding of love to you. All I can say this morning is, "Wow! What a great and marvelous God we serve." How I wish that eyes would open and see the great deception that has gone on for years and is blinding our youth as they transistion from child to adult. Oh well...

That's another story...

Those Nagging Thoughts!

I really thought this blog idea was a good one...at first. And, I suppose it still is to a certain extent. I was planning on it being just the outlet I needed to voice my constant opinions. But, alas, I have determined it is not the medium I would like. Now, don't misunderstand me...I still enjoy voicing an opinion from time to time, but have found I truly cannot lay everything out here that I would like. I, like you, have "things" spinning around in my head about this or that. But some things just can't be shared with the world.

So...I STILL have to be careful. Now, isn't that just like our God. We truly are not our own. (But I want to none-the-less). It just doesn't behoove me, to let everything this tiny brain dictates to me, spill out of the mouth...or fingers. Whatever the case may be.

So, I am indeed a prisoner. But a prisoner by choice. Can one choose to be a prisoner? Well, absolutely! And it is a really good idea for one like me. You see, my mouth has gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit, over my lifetime. I keep thinking I'm going to get this mind controlled...but it seems to be pretty open to most people and I've never been one to keep things to myself. But I do continue to try. Last Sunday evening, a young man that goes to church with us, complimented me on NOT talking more than was necessary for the moment. I get on a roll, I suppose, and my thoughts just keep moving in and out of ideas and soon gets off the topic first initiated.

Well, you get the picture. So now, I have a choice. Don't you just love all those choices we get to decided on? I can do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it. I can say whatever I want to say, whenever I want to say it OR I can control my emotions, my desires, and my impulses and allow others to draw from a "pure well" instead of a polluted one where anything and everything is mixed up in it.

Enough said...for now. =}

5 Goals to be Reached in the Next 5 years

I am a goal oriented person! Always have been and probably always will be. I have to have something to aim at, or I seem unfulfilled. Something to put my hands to for accomplishment sake. Something I can walk away from and say, "I did it!" And if I set my goals too high, I just take what I did not accomplish and put more effort into it as the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years...if that's what it takes. Then on to my next assignment.  And I do believe they are assignments. Assignments from God. Yes God. He is the one who directs my steps. I may do most of the planning, but it is He who directs.

The last couple of years I've had no clear direction. No goals that I could point to. It has been very distracting, very unsettling. I have felt as if I have no purpose. During those times, one must stay focused on  the last thing God told them. He is always preparing us for what He has already prepared for us. He's waiting on us to arrive. And He ever so gently calls to us, patiently waiting until we can see past the pain of our loss. Yes, I do believe that during the times of "where am I to go, Lord", we are walking through grief of some kind. And during those times, it is difficult to focus enough to see direction, even though our hearts are crying out to hear His voice once again.

First, we lost our church of 25 years; a new work was started some 4-5 months later, just to have our friend and co-laborer diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor, (she left us less than a year later), then before another month had gone by, my wonderful sister of whom I depended on for spiritual guidance, lost the battle of PSP and made her way home to the Father of all life. One of my brothers had passed away only 6 months prior and another sister 5 months before that, and another sister less than a year before her. Only by God's grace did I withstand all this. This I am sure of. It wasn't long after all these tragic happenings, the new church we had been given oversight of, began to dwindle away. Little by little, people left. We just didn't have enough servants for the group that had gathered. Maybe it was something else. I'm still not sure what happened. But...God gives beauty for ashes. And He has certainly done that. But not without my crying over it. My remorse. My grief. My choices to step back.

I had to have something to aim at. I needed goals!!! God knew, he understood...he is the one who designed me. He created me for purpose and for a set number of days. I needed something to put my hands to! Something I could stand before Him and say, "Here is what I've done with the days allotted me." Once I allowed myself to be quiet and sit in His presence, He handed me a set of goals. "This is a set of temporary goals to get you to the place I have prepared for you. Pay attention to them. They will get you where I need you to be and carry you through the rest of your days." You see, I have always placed importance on "doing" even though I knew "doing" did not translate "holy". For whatever reason, I've always enjoyed the spotlight. My sweet (mostly sweet =}) sister that passed from this life two years ago, let me know that I "needed to be seen." That really offended me at the time. But it was one of those defining moments in life. And it has found a cubby hole somewhere inside my brain and will pop out every now and then, and I will have to address it, put a check mark beside it, and slide it back into it's cubby hole. You know what I'm talking about. All those little notes you've made to yourself that gets lost in the clutter. But when you start cleaning away the unused "stuff" you find it once again! Yeah...that little note you stored away. That's the one.

As I faced this giant, I knew he must be destroyed. It's not about me. It's about the One who chose me. So, as I listened for something to put my hands to one wintry morning at the beginning of the year, God was faithful to hand me a list:

• Do not take into account a wrong suffered.
• Make wonderful, lasting memories
• Be the very best you can be in any given situation. "Whatever your hands find to do, do with all your might, as if you were working for Me." (my translation) Because you are...
• No wasting time! Long hours in front of the TV, is wasted time. Time spent worrying over "what ifs", is time wasted.
• Become more sensitive to others emotional needs and become their example.

As I sit here typing, I realize five is the number of grace. God's grace has extended to me, because of my innate need. Five goals for five years. Makes me wonder what is in front of me at the end of those five years. But I won't go there. I must stay focused on what He has required of me. His requirements are always for my good. He knows what I need and supplies that need. None of these goals put me in the spotlight. What a marvelous, wonderful God I serve!

How I accomplished all that I did in the last 25 years, is beyond me. God must have stretched the time for me. As I think back, I really didn't like myself all that much. I was an angry, complaining individual. My need to be recognized did not satisfy. Oh, I loved what I did! All the things I put my hands to were good things...some even great things. Home education of our children, Homeschoolers United Group Support (HUGS), yearly Curriculum Fairs, yearly Science Fairs, yearly Talent Shows, Christmas productions,  HSLDA involvement, Images of Grace Drama Team, Deaconess, Mary's Place, wife and mother demands....but I was missing something. I think I must have been wanting acceptance. So, I worked for it. My family would have accepted me without all that...so why did I need others approval? That's a really good question. A question I can't answer. However, God has used all that to bring me to what He has prepared for me.

So, here I am, list in hand, and ready to meet the next five years! Now I hope it doesn't get lost in the clutter of things. =} Grace upon grace! 5 for 5. Now that makes me smile! I will leave you with this question to ponder:
          What would be your top 10 memories if you could store no more?

MJ

The Symbolic Bamboo Wedding Arch

Ya know...planned weddings are pieces of art! If you really stop to think about all that goes into making dreams come true, you would find it takes work...lots of  artistic work if you want it to be the best it can be.

Dennis and I came away from our firstborn's recent wedding feeling like we just went to enjoy the event. And enjoy it, we did! Very little did we put our hands to in the form of  "work".We didn't need to. It was all planned out and carried out long before the actual event. Yes, there were still some things needing attention a couple days before the wedding. But everyone had a list of what needed done and who was to do it. How Dennis and I got off so easy, I'll never understand. We felt more like guests than parents. Thanks to Todd and Lindsey's organization skills.

However...there was one fellow that put his heart and soul into making a beautiful memory for our kids. He would say it was no big deal. But you could tell he had pride in his accomplishments. Not from boasting...just from his quiet, humble demeanor. His eyes were grateful for the talents he had been giving. He put his hands to the task and saw it through. It had begun long before the wedding week. Planning, thinking it through, purchasing needed material, hauling those materials 4-5 hours from home to the beach, and then waiting until the exact moments, in the early morning hours of the wedding day. And his task begins...

The Bamboo Arch seemed perfect as it stood strong against the edge of the sound. It had replaced a very frail, weak arch, that had been left by the previous wedding party. I suppose. Strong ropes had secured each cross point of this much larger arch, speaking majestic echos of another place, another time. Smaller bamboo sticks had accented, with support, the larger bamboo frame. Len worked tirelessly. Help was close by, should he need it, in the form of a very kind and, "here I am, use me," sort of fellow.  Patrick. Patrick was always close by, just in case someone needed help. Patrick belongs to Todd's Aunt Belinda and Uncle Gary. They have two other equally awesome boys and one beautiful, quiet spirit, young lady. (Another story.) =}

Leonard Laughlin. The name itself speaks stability. Len is Todd's dad. He doesn't say much, but still waters run deep. These are the people I would love to sit and chat with. People that don't feel as if they have to talk all the time. I would love to be able to search out their thoughts and see the world, as they see. He never asked for help. Never. Dennis would have to look for him to see if there was something he might help Len with. By the time he came across him, Leonard would have the job virtually completed. We went with no list in hand and had no list handed us when we got there. I had previously asked Lindsey if I could take care of the poles that lined the wedding area...and that is all I did. She may have had someone else in mind for the job. I didn't ask and she didn't say. She just graciously allowed me that honor. And I enjoyed it. 

The wedding being over, we began cleaning up the area the next day, preparing to leave this enchanted place. Working in the kitchen, Len and Cindy were discussing the Bamboo arch it had taken so long to produce. Cindy didn't want to take it home...no place to put it. I suggested offering it to the Hatterus Island Realty for future events....at a price of course. That's just the business woman in me. It went so well with the view and was a very durable silhouette, firmly braced and rooted in the sand. I wasn't considering the hours and heart that went into the making of such a thing. I was thinking they could profit from the time and effort. It would bring an easy $1000. Well...my sensitive side wasn't showing up. And the very thing I have lived by all these years, "money isn't everything", was hiding somewhere in the depths of my brain. I realized Len was attached to the bamboo archway. It wasn't because he loves what he does...it was because of WHO is was done for! It held many memories and was an offering to HIS firstborn and his choice of a wife! Once that sank in, I totally got it. I think Todd actually helped me with that. I could tell by what he was saying, that he too, wanted to preserve it. I am so glad they decided to take it home. When it is time for Todd and Lindsey to purchase their first home as a couple, hopefully they will have a place they can put it back together and display it...maybe amongst a beautiful flower bed or home-made rock garden fountain. I'm sure they will come up with something.

Thank you Leonard for the memories! The very artistic memories!

Oh yes...the symbolism of the bamboo?  Separation from any other...to each other.

The Dance

When we found out that Dennis was going to be expected to dance with his oldest daughter at her wedding, we decided it might be a good idea to take dance lessons! We knew he could probably get away with just a simple "sway back and forth, move in a circle" type thing, but I wasn't willing to settle for that. After all, this was our firstborns wedding, for cryin' out loud! Surely there could be a little effort put into making it a memorable event!

After our first lesson, I was hooked! What fun! Oh my gosh! If you are reading this and have never danced with your husband/wife...do something about it NOW! Taking dance lessons was the best decision we had made in a very long time. Three lessons later, we felt like we could command the dance floor with added moves other than what had been taught. Dennis had to be the leader, according to the instructor, and it was up to him to direct me as we danced. We were supposed to create cue's for every move, so I wouldn't get caught off guard. I don't think that ever happened. He just did his thing, and I better be sensing what that was going to be. He loved flipping me out and bringing me back into his arms...then flipping me out to the other side and back again. Then it was time to twirl me...out...in...out...in, three times. Not really sure why he loved those moves so much, except it kept him from having to remember the fox trot. Fast, fast, slow. Fast, fast, slow. Or maybe he didn't particularly like the New Yorker. I loved the New Yorker! And the Swing Dance. Right, left, right. Right, left, right. Left, right, left. Left, right, left. (Done with sway or swagger). And then, push, pull, push. (three times) There were many more moves to the Swing, all equally fun. I loved the Swing. We had so much fun...when we practiced. Which was very few times. He listened to the cd Linds had sent us of the play list she would be having at the wedding. He wore the threads off it as he drove to work and back. I got to take it with me only one time. :-/  It's no wonder he had some added moves! But I was excited! Because we had never danced together in all the years of our marriage. And I loved the feeling of being wrapped in his arms.

I waited in great anticipation of the time for dancing. It was hot the night of the wedding, but I still waited. Finally, it was time to dance! Bride and Groom first! Such romance in the offering. Then it was Daddy's turn to dance with his baby girl. What a beautiful dance as they danced to the music of "My Girl". They had practiced together for about 15 minutes the day before. Or was it the day of? I don't really remember. But Meg and I, along with Tony and Paige's youngest daughter, watched as Dennis explained what he wanted to do in the dance. Lindsey loved it, Meghan teared up and I swayed to the music by myself as I watched such a very special time between daddy and daughter. Next in line for dancing, before anyone else could occupy the floor, was Todd and his mom. Finally...it's time for us! Nothing. I'm wondering why he's not getting up to dance with me. Slowly, my feelings began to hurt. I had put way too much expectation into this time. I didn't give him room for his own anxious thoughts of being on the floor where everyone could see what was happening. But he had done so well with Lindsey! Maybe he was just nervous. Or maybe he was waiting on just the right song. The songs we had practiced to. That was it! Of course! Well, the DJ didn't know we were waiting on certain songs, so he played a variety, something for everyone. And it was fun to watch. But I really wanted to dance. Pretty soon Meg comes and gets us to come to the floor, with much resistance from her daddy. "We don't know this song," he said. But along he came as I talked him into participating. "Listen to the beat," I said. "You can do this!" He must have been so nervous, but I pressed, and he consented! Even if he only used a couple of the steps we had learned, I still got to dance with my husband. But when the song ended, so did the dancing. For us anyway. He just couldn't bring himself to try any other songs.

The dance floor filled up and I resolved to stand at the side and watch as the younger ones enjoyed themselves. And I enjoyed watching them. There was my Meg. She was dancing also! To see her so happy, was exciting in itself! At one point only the women were dancing. How cute they were! I think I must have missed out on a lot of fun in my young years. Yes, they were having a lot of fun...couldn't believe some of the moves I was seeing. And look at Lindsey! Whoa! She weaved in and out of the crowd with the rhythm of a pro! They were tireless, even in the heat. It had been a beautiful night, full of the celebration of two lives looking into the future together. We're always better together, you know. (Todd and Lindsey had given us a "Year One" album for Christmas last year. On the last page, there was a picture of him and one of her. Both had their first names identifying each pic, and then a picture of them together...with the inscription, "better together" just beneath it.) Yes, we're better together!

Until the next memory, I am respectfully yours...MJ

Another Story

So much happened in the week at Hatterus Island and my ego has been stroked just enough with the few comments on the "Wedding of the Century", that I have decided to log my memories of that most wonderful event. I am having a hard time deciding just where I should start. Makes me wish even more that I had been faithful in keeping my journal every evening before bed. I think I wrote twice in it! We were having such a good time, that many nights it became very late before our heads hit the pillows. Some later than others. ;-). I would look at the journal on my nightstand and say goodnight to it, but it never really asked me to go further than that! So...I didn't. =}

We left Cary, the town our girls live in, around 2 p.m. and arrived at the Love Boat at 6:45 p.m. Meghan had done a fabulous job of driving. So very respectful of her Momma being in the front seat, close to the air conditioning vents. :-) She has always called herself an "efficient" driver. Well...I've always said, "Meg, if you ever have a wreck, it's gonna be a bad one!" She drives like her mother used to drive when she was her age. But when you live in a large city, the traffic demands you be quick to slide in and out of tiny spots. So I understand, but would never tell her that. But this trip, she was so very careful of the distance between cars. I arrived in a peaceful state of mind. Meg, well, let's just say she arrived!

Getting into our "over-the-top" room, I began unpacking...putting things away for the week ahead of us. It was great having a large walk-in closet with shelving and a place to leave the luggage out of sight. I noticed all the nicety's of the room, including the glass sliding doors that exited onto a wrap around balcony that when standing (or sitting) on it, one could see the beautiful blue ocean and feel the ocean breezes as they caressed the face. After putting the luggage away, I noticed something was missing. Good grief! I left my bag with my bras and shoes needed for the wedding, at Todd's house, where we had stayed the night before! Four and a half hours away! I quickly came up with a solution. Todd's next door neighbor would be coming late Friday. Maybe she wouldn't mind bringing them. Problem solved, with one exception. I couldn't wear the clothes I had planned on wearing, because they needed different colored bras. I know...I know. It's just my fetish!

Day two, Linds and I went to the grocery store for a few items that I didn't think I could live without. Now, this is what I miss with our girls being so very far away! I would love to have one or the other of them...or both...call and say, "Mom, do you want to go shopping with me?" Or, "Hey Mom, we're all headed to the beach...wanna come?" Or, "Mom, I have a day off. Could I spend it with you?" Or, "Hey, would you and Dad like to come over for dinner?" Or, "Mom, Todd and I have decided we're going to eat at your place tonight. What time is dinner?" Or, "Mom, Meg says she's coming with us. Set another plate!" Well, I suppose it's all gonna be alright. Makes the times we get to be together really special. :-)

Gotta run for now. This is the day of the week my husband of 35 years, and I, go have a fun day together. So I must pretty myself up. He's so worth it!!! Later, my friends!

"The Wedding of the Century"

Awww..."the wedding of the century", as Lindsey would say. I would love to talk about that special, some would say, magical...I would say "spiritual", day. But, oh my...this would be a realllllly long blog! I'm not sure I can even highlight the events. It all flowed so very special.

There has been so very much irony that has surrounded this union. Allow me just a few reflections... Let's start with the grooms ring. They had decided not to engrave to keep costs down. When they picked the rings up, on the inside of the grooms ring was the word, "faith". Remember, they did not order any engravings. For the sake of time, they kept the ring as it was. The brides ring has 19 stones, the engagement 3. I am a very big number gal. I believe God has set this world in motion with perfection and numbers are very significant. Pacify me for a moment while I share a few irony's.

Todd and Lindsey had their first date on March 19th, 2009. That would be 3/19. (collective stones in brides rings...3 in the engagement, 19 in the wedding band). Pretty cool, huh? Spiritually speaking, the number 19 means "faith". (The word inscripted inside the grooms ring) Go figure! Ephesians 2:8 says, "For by grace are you saved through faith;"  Five is the number for grace and 14 is the number for salvation. Faith puts us into grace, "By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand," (Romans 5:2) At the same time that faith gives us access into grace, it also brings salvation. So when five, for grace, is added to 14, for salvation, the sum is 19, or faith. (The word inscripted on the grooms ring...without instruction from him!) Now, don't tell me God isn't behind all this. I don't believe in coincidences like this. Besides this is only one happening. There are many. Like Todd living on Granby Court. Lindsey's dad was raised in a little town called Granby, MO. Todd has only one sibling. A brother. Aaron Lee is his name. Lindsey's middle name is Erin. She has only one sibling. A sister. Meghan Leigh is her name. Just a little ironic that Todd's brother's name in Aaron Leigh...Both Todd and Aaron and Lindsey and Meg, are very close. 

Well, the wedding week was such an awesome time together. Each family getting to know each other just a little better in the peacefulness of the ocean front; in one of the most beautiful settings in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Awww...the Love Boat! Six master bedrooms and one large bedroom with bunk beds for the young teens that came with the minister and his wife. Whose last name just happens to be "Lewis." From Raleigh, NC. Unbelievable!!! Ya see what I'm sayin'? God is at work in the smallest details of our lives. Not that it's important for the minister's name to be Lewis...it's just God showing me how very much He is on the scene! It's His way of confirming to me that He is indeed present in the affairs of my life and those I hold so close to my heart. And what a great family this minister has! Dennis and I went for breakfast one morning with them to The Gingerbread House. What lovely daughters Tony and Paige have! It is so very refreshing to see children that have been disciplined to respect others. Not only do they esteem their parents as treasures, but they also show respect for others. Rare indeed. They are proof that discipline is so very important. Parents don't seem to get it. Consistent discipline may be painful for the  moment, but reaps great rewards! What a joy it was getting to know this fine family. I do hope it is the beginning of many years of friendship.

Then there was Grandad and Grandmom! What lovely people! Grandmom has the prettiest blue eyes, that when you look into them, they sparkle. She is mischievous to put it mildly, yet very lady-like. One day, she visited her grandsons, Todd's and Aaron's, bedroom while they were out. She thought it would be funny to short-sheet Todd's bed. We all got the biggest kick out of that one. Oh boy...her eyes danced when she saw him. And, the quiet, steady demeanor that identifies Todd, allowed the cutest half-smile to come across his face when he saw her. They seem to understand each other. =} Grandad is more talkative than you would expect an 82 (I think) year old to be. I love him! He has been oversees twice with the military and now holds a position choosing young men that might qualify for a training program in the military. Yes, he still works! Sharp as a tack! Just another reason I don't believe in retirement. He puts in 40 to 50 hours a week! Simply amazing! Pretty amazing people.

Our Lindsey and her Todd, are very organized people. Lindsey had this huge binder, attractively put together with all the information that would go into the making of one near perfect wedding. I say, "near" because the mother of the bride and as far as I know, the mother of the groom...both forgot to wear the absolutely beautiful wrist corsages prepared for them. They were in the ground floor fridge. I didn't even think about it until I was in the plane headed back to OK. How I wish I had that corsage! I would have pressed it between the pages of a book and kept the memory. But it didn't keep the bride from having the time of her life. I think her day was very fulfilling, even during "the walk" to her waiting entourage. As her daddy escourted her toward the sound, her emotions began to come to the surface, having been controlled just a little too long. "We need to talk about something funny," she told her Daddy. "Like what," says Dennis. "We could talk about Mom falling over the luggage in my bedroom." (Awww...sweet laughter).

These are only a very few of my memories...ones that God has brought back to my memory on this early fourth of July day. I fell asleep on the couch somewhere around 10, maybe it was 11. Dennis went on to bed at some point, but I didn't wake up until 2:22 this morning. Yup...the number thing is popping back up in my life. So, I had to search it out just a little. And after finding out a few things, which really gave me a sense of understanding why some things are like they are, I decided to reflect on the events of June 12-21. Wonderful, great, memories. Some were united for life...some were released from their own prision...some were refreshed...many were influenced!

But that's another story...

Laughter...the Best Medicine

I think God must surely laugh at me sometimes. Or maybe He's laughing "with" me. Everything has a connection. Everything is symbolic. Everything is God directing me. Some would say I am way too serious a thinker. But I just can't get past it. I really don't know that I want to. How can we say some things are irrelevant, when we belong to God? Since He is the creator of all things, why is it so far a stretch to think we are by design and all the earth in it's glory has a purpose. I think we can pretty much agree on that...can't we?

So, why do we throw some things by the wayside and say, "that's irrelevant"? I suppose if we change the subject while in the middle of another subject, then we could say "that's irrelevant." But, when a total stranger starts talking to you about something that's been on your mind for two years, and been a topic of discussion in your house as recent as yesterday, not knowing the direction you are to take, how does one dismiss it as irrelevant? "It's just a coincidence." Well, maybe...

I'm one that thinks God loves us so much, He knows how many hairs are on our head. And I don't mean He knows how many are left. He knows that today you lost number 2,352. Pretty serious about us, wouldn't you say? Well, if He loves us that much, don't you think He cares about everything that touches our lives? In this sense, nothing is irrelevant. All we have to do is watch for it, listen to His heartbeat (yes, we can), and follow the direction He points us toward, by walking through "open doors". If we reach for it, it's ours. Another reason to make sure we are connected to Him through daily prayer and reading of the Word of God. We must know His voice and follow no other. If we walk in obedience to what He's told us in the Holy Scriptures, all that He has created is ours and we will live in peace and prosperity.

If God truly is laughing at me, or with me, whatever the case may be...I know why. It's because He loves me so very much. I remember when our girls were just little girls. :) We had skits and sometimes relatively large plays in our church for different reasons. There were times we all laughed out loud because what they brought to the stage was humorous. We weren't laughing because we thought they were silly. We laughed because they brought us much delight. Our hearts swelled within us. We loved them so much that even their mistakes caused great fulfillment as we watched them grow into what we knew they would become some day. As they grew and the years flew by, we created a drama team called "Images of Grace." There were very few mistakes made in this group of very talented young people. Oh how I miss those times of gathering, watching as the young people grew in their talents...their God ordained talents. Nothing was irrelevant during those times. They didn't know it, but my heart swelled watching them...even when they wanted to throw me out the door because of my demands on them. What fun times they were. We may have gone home exhausted...but proud of ourselves, none-the-less.

So, you see, when God laughs, it's because He loves watching us grow...seeing how far we've come. Even when things don't turn out like we had planned.

Yes, I believe He's proud of me. Even though my mind is constantly watching, listening for the least little sound He may be making to help me understand where my feet are suppose to be taking me. Yes, I suppose you could call me a serious thinker. But I can also laugh. And He laughs with me.

Age, Paranoia, and the Paranormal

Our paths crossing once again in the narrow hall-way and the connecting bathroom door, my husband swipes my shoulder with more force than I normally enjoy. "What was that?" I asked? "Something was crawling on your shoulder", said he. "WHAT?!!! WHAT WAS IT?" With a very calm, unexcited voice my dear husband says, "I'm not sure...don't have my glasses on."(Age)

Whatever it was or wasn't, he made the very definite motion of smashing it beneath his number 11D shoe. I'm really curious as to how he knew where to "smash" if he couldn't see it on my shoulder, how could he find it on the floor??? Or was he really sure he got "it" off my shoulder. Oh great! "Brush me off...quick!"

I grab MY glasses and begin to look on the floor where his foot was making the rocking, twisting motion...as if there might be something very huge beneath it. Nothing. Maybe "it" was squished so hard it was buried in the short fibers of the throw we have in the bathroom. I found nothing but a small lint fiber from a towel and a couple of hairs that have joined the rest of the crew that have taken their leave of duty attached to the follicles of one MJLewis.

Okay...where is the "spider". I knew it was a spider because Brandi and Ami have been very generous in sharing with us all on fb, the fact they are out there in full force...crawling everywhere. In your nose, your mouth, your ears! Well, that may be somewhat of an exaggeration...but none-the-less, they ARE out there...or in here...or up there, down there, around there, between there...here. (Paranoia)

Into the bedroom I go, lift the covers to check for colonies. No spider nestings that I can see. All looks pretty clear, except for that one spot of something that oozed out of Dennis' tattooed arm. Maybe I should change the sheets today. =}

Back to the bathroom...by now if indeed there was something, besides lint or hair, resting or crawling, on my shoulder, it would long be gone. I'm realitively sure if it had been beneath his foot,there would be a spot of SOMETHING to signify it's presence. Nope. Must have been a spirit spider.(Paranormal) Do those exist? Well, it sounds good and keeps me from believing there actually was something there...on my shoulder...crawling!

One of my sisters had a spider crawl into her ear canal once, while sleeping. For days, she felt something was there inside her ear, but couldn't get it out. It had gone too deep or she had actually pushed it further in by trying to get it out. Whatever the case, she ended up in the doctors office with an infected eardrum. With the greatest of ease, Mr. Doctor, with his handy dandy pair of tweezers pulled the now dead culprit out, cleaned the ear canal with hydrogen poroxide and sent her on her way. All better with only one promise added to herself. Cotton in the ears before heading to bed. But what about the mouth??? We didn't know they would crawl into the mouth too! But NOW we do. Thank you Brandi. Question is...how would one stuff cotton in their mouth without choaking on it? Maybe we could use duct tape!

Help Find the Missing PB&J Sandwich

Saturday, May 15, 9a.m. and the Lewis household was quiet. Very quiet. It was time to make use of the time presented to the woman of the house. Many areas needed attention, but the office space at the salon had become more of a storage shed than a place for mental work. That was going to be a full days work, so the lady must not be disturbed once she became focused on the job at hand.

1. Face washed, teeth brushed. Check.
2. Work clothes on. Check.
3. Monthly Maintenance, Colostrum, and Fish Oil swallowed, with aid of Raw Apple Cider Vinegar. Check.
4. Cleaning equipment gathered. Check.
5. PB&J prepared and sealed in plastic bag. Check.
6. Cats feed. Check.
7. Lights out. Check.
8. IPhone tucked safely in purse. Check.
9. Back door checked for double locking. Check.

On the way the lady must stop at a few places. Wal-Greens, the post office, water payment place, bank, Wal-Mart for some General Chicken (YUM!)and don't forget to fill the car with gas. Then on to the study...ummm...storage area.

Throw the package from Wal-Greens into the facial room...you can put the purchases away later.

Awww...at last! Time to de-junk and make a get-away place for thinking about the next step in marketing! Yes! How I've missed you, my place of solitude. Extra column, you've got to go. Winter drinks, let's see if we can find a place for you up on that top shelf. Down you come large box of greenery and...???...extra styling tools, I know you've been waiting a long time to be used, but your family is holding up just fine. You're time will come I'm sure. But for now let's nestle you on top of the extra coloring bowls. Yeah...that looks good and you'll be much easier to find. Now there is plenty of room for the oh so awesome winter drinks. Grabbing the displayed items as well...do you mind sharing? We'll see you soon for the cold months are just around the corner. Just you wait and see, people will be calling out for you before you know it!

Now, what is that lonely box full of? The one that sits in front of the shelving...and when did she put you there? You certainly have a nice fragrance. Sea Side Home Fragrances!!! It's your time to shine! You will fill the salon with your ever so inviting fresh air and sea grass scent! And your shells are so very alluring.

Wow! The lady had forgotten she had some Feet by OPI! Callus Therapy, Double Coverage, and Callus Files!!! Wahoo! Just in time for summer feet! Oh look! There are TWO extra rolls of bathroom towels. How did you stay hidden being so large and all? And what is that sitting behind you? A whole BAG of Halls Mentho-lyptus vapor action honey-lemon drops! Jack Pot!

Hey, it's time to eat! Now what did she do with the chicken? Ahhh...there it is on the service counter, but looks smaller than it did before.

After much more cleaning, re-arranging, and tossing, it had become very late and time to head home. Looking over everything that had been accomplished, there was a sense of pride. Good job, lady! You can now lay your head down with peace knowing you've made a dent in the ever increasing piling of STUFF!

In the car, just called home to alert husband she's heading his way. "What's for dinner?" she asks. Wait...didn't she bring a PB&J sandwich to eat? Where is it? Okay, stop the car and go find it. It may not be the best thing to leave around to draw the neighborhood bugs. Not in the service area, not in the facial room, not in the pedicure room OR the office. No, don't see it in the bathroom. (Not sure what it might be doing there...but oh well.)Well, the lady is really tired and don't care that much at this point. Let's go home!

Did she leave it in the car all day? Not under the seat...not ON the seat...no where to be found. Call home! Maybe she just left it on the counter after preparing it. What a ding bat. No, hubby doesn't see it anywhere. Well, that really doesn't mean a lot. Hubby doesn't see anything unless it screams at him and jumps into his arms.

The PB&J is forgotten, since it can't be found anyway. The lady sure is curious though. Any ideas where the PB&J might be?

Anyone guessing the location of the MIA PB&J will be rewarded with a sachet of choice to put in your car. (The lady is really good friends with the owner of South Side Salon.) Choices available are Sea Side, White Linen and Lavender, Nature's Spa, Magnolia and Cabernet.

The lady FOUND the sandwich three days later. Cast your vote for a free Scentation Sachet!!!

Life from Death

It constantly amazes me how life can come from death! I'm sure I've only scraped the surface of understanding. Driving down Veteran's Boulevard this morning, coming to work, I noticed the trees that greeted me. They were big...majestic. Totally green and totally awesome to look upon. It's been only two and a half years ago when the ice storm hit little Miami, Oklahoma and virtually destroyed our trees. Split them right down the middle and bowed the surviving limbs almost to the ground. One would not know by looking upon them now. It has taken these last two years to get them looking like they MIGHT survive. Many said it looked like a war zone here in Miami. I would have to agree with them.

I know I've seen these beautiful trees every day coming into Miami...why today the true beauty was revealed to me, I'm not sure. Only that God takes moments of our lives to speak a creative word to us. It struck me that out of so much death, life now was victorious! Many, no...most, of those trees survived! And what a sight to behold now. So it is with us. God created us to survive even the most horrendous events that prey upon us. And not only survive, but we are revealed to all creation more beautiful than we began! How can ANYONE make this out to be coincidental? Simply amazing it is to me!

I'm reminded of the Scripture that says, "Lift up your heads, O ye gates...that the King of Glory may come in." (Psalm 24:9) Truly we must see that our lives were not happenstance. There is a purpose...a plan for all mankind. And Jesus secured our lives that day He gave all He had. So that life might come forth from death! Beauty from ashes, joy from sadness.

Wedding Challenges

I know I should already have the dress hanging in my closet. But I don't. Why? Because I do not like shopping for myself. Nothing seems to make me look like Ms. Welch. Raquel Welch. How can she be 102 and still look 45?

Yesterday I spent most of the day looking. That's right...looking. I did try on a few things, but while looking fabulous on the rack, they looked down right comical when hugging my bod. I sent a pic to Lindsey of the one that looked almost cute on me. "Yes, I like that. But not for the wedding, right?" Of course I responded with, "No..."

During my walk-about, I spotted many interesting creatures. Tall, short, overly plump, overly skinny...and I DO mean overly! Can toothpicks really walk? Then there were those guys wearing jeans with the waistband fitting just under their butts and walking like old men, "right leg go far right, left leg go far left", just to keep their sorry pants from dropping to the floor. Once in a while they would pull them up just about a quarter of an inch. How I wanted to tell them if they would go up another 6 inches they wouldn't have to be holding on to them so much. And then I saw HER! Oh my...WHAT is that hanging out of her nose?!!! That just can't be! A ring with a CHAIN?!!! Wait...something is also protruding from the back of her ear...in the MIDDLE next to her head. OUCH! That had to have hurt! And the skin tight pants that some of the boys are wearing! How do they get them on? They must be spandex. From one extreme to the next. Baggy, 3 sizes too big, to skin tight where you can actually see the blood coursing through their bodies as the heart pumps it. Holy toledo. I wonder what they are thinking as I swish past them. If I can actually get past them. They walk in three's...taking up the entire walk-about. Once, I passed a line of these very interesting children and as the air swept past their frail bodies, I heard giggling. Was it the old fashioned hair-do? Maybe it was my 90's fitting jeans and very comfy deceased friends elbow length shirt. Maybe they thought I was going to a fire. I don't know.

My day wasn't very productive, unless you count the fact that I got to see a lot more of the world than I normally get to. I even saw a couple that I should have said hello to (I knew them), but didn't feel I had the time to visit. So, now, I STILL have to find that teal blue, with a drop of sage green, dress. Off I go. Tradition says I should get my attire before the groom's mom gets hers. I fear the groom's mom may be just a tad more shop savvy than this little farm raised girl.

On a different note...gray hair is over-taking my naturally chocolate colored hair, and if it's to look natural for the wedding, I must get the color back into it today just so I can color it again once more before Lindsey's wedding. And then there is the issue with my waist being somewhat larger than my hips. I've got "Making the Cut" by Jillian Michaels, sitting on my desk. It looks great there! She claims I can drop 20 pounds in a month and stop the show at my daughter's wedding.

And the saga continues...

I've Got You

One of my favorite shows on television is "24". Two weeks ago, Jack Bauer's girl friend was killed by a Russian sniper because they were afraid she could identify someone that tried to destroy CTU with a car bomb. She had worked as an undercover agent for CTU and was planted in a Russian ring some years before, so she knew many of the Russians and their connections. After the snipers fire found it's mark, Jack gathered Rene up in his arms and said, "I've got you. I've got you." He held her close as he called 911 for help and then ran, as fast as he could while holding her, trying so very hard to get to a hospital before she died. Of course he was hoping to save her, but that didn't happen.

There's something about being wrapped in a man's arms. Something secure. Something safe. Rene must have felt it. Well, she looked like she did anyway. I realize it was just a television show and someone had written a really great script. However, in this earthly realm, anyone that has a loving man in their life knows what I'm talking about. I think of my sister that left us almost 2 years ago now. While she was going through a potentially terrifying disease,(I say potentially because one would never have known she was terrified) her husband would often hold her close. I wonder how many times he whispered in her ear, "I've got you. I've got you." When the disease began it's journey inside her body, she would lose her balance and fall, causing horrible bruising on her face and upper body. Her feet just wouldn't come up off the ground enough to move forward without stumbling. How horrible for her. She had always been an active lady and now, little by little PSP was taking control of every part of her being, save brain functioning. In a few short months my sis could do nothing for herself...she was at the mercy of those who loved her. And mercy came to her. God filled her heart with joy that even I cannot understand but am very grateful to our Lord for.


As I was coming to work this morning, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "I've got you. I've got you." (If He can use a donkey, He certainly can use a sitcom.) =} Driving along this a.m., I was listening to some Christian music for the first time in a long little while. Usually I just listen to the quietness as I drive to work...but not today. Tears came rushing down my face as I listened to the music. Then I heard it. "I've got you."

Now as I sit typing, I'm wondering what He is preparing me for. Whatever it is, I know He has me...

Traveling Sidewalks

On occasion people have asked me why I walk so fast. On other occasions, those same people will say, "You make me tired just watching you flit from place to place. Don't you ever just sit down?" The other day, my gal Friday says, "You have too much going on." I truly don't get it! I may be busy, but compared to my mother, I'm pretty lazy. I suppose I learned most my habits from her. But then again, my dad always said, "work first, play later." Once everything was done that must be done living on a farm, THEN one could rest.

I've been in airports since our girls moved to North Carolina. We won't talk about THOSE experiences. But coming to NC this past week-end, alone..., I noticed how very much I love those conveyor belts, or is it fast moving walk-ways? Oh wait...they're called "moving sidewalks"! My Mother would have absolutely LOVED those things. If she could have found her balance getting on and off. =} My husband gets a kick out of watching me come off them. It's as if I've been shot through a cannon and land 2 feet beyond the edge. Oh well, someone has to be the one that gives others conversation. Glad I can help.

As I was saying, I love those moving walk-ways, with maybe one exception. I'm relatively sure God saw my need and instructed the brainy people to create these things. They are God's gift to those of us that really want and most of the time need, to get somewhere. But invariably, there will be traffic jams on these wonderful pieces of creation. So why do people with no where to go and no desire to get there, ride these marvels of busy people helps? There is only one word I know that could possibly describe them. Lazy. Okay, okay. Maybe that's not altogether fair. Maybe they have an illness that keeps them from walking. But how did they get to the moving sidewalks? So that can't be it. Maybe they have heart problems and need whatever they can find to help them get where they are going. That's probably the true reason. Now I'm feeling really bad for the frustration I felt with the many "traffic jams" on those precious conveyor belts built just for me. "Excuse me, excuse me," I said more than once, laden down with a 60 pound carry-on and my 40 pound purse, I KNOW they are aware of my presence. And the belt belongs to ME...right? So they give in (sometimes) and move over 1/2 inch. "Oops! I'm so sorry. Did that hurt?"

Before you start throwing eggs at me, you must understand my connecting flight was waiting on me, depending on me, to claim my seat. The first flight was 30 minutes behind schedule and because of thunderstorms in the area, had to move out of their prescribed flight pattern and go "the long way around." My seat partner was afraid he would miss HIS connecting flight. (He had an hour lay-over and a buzz going on). My lay-over was much shorter and I had to walk 10 miles to get to the out-going gate. But never fear! Those moving side-walks will get you there, Mary! Because you, unlike the rest of the population, actually walk while being carried along!

Well, I did make it...with a few minutes to spare...sorry for knocking your hip out of socket lady. I even got to have eye contact with some cute little kiddos. So, now what's on our agenda for some excitement? Hope I don't have to wait until I'm headed home on those big birds in the sky, for excitement. WHAT AM I THINKING? I'm with my girls! That in itself is plenty...

Integrity...Is It Still Alive?

"You're only as good as your word." That's something my dad always told me. Whatever you agree to, you best stand by it. Or you become unbelievable.

I just returned from picking up my lunch at a local sandwich shop. I don't normally go there, but I had received a really nice deal in the mail. "Get your lunch free, when you purchase a regular priced chip and regular priced drink." Even though I don't drink soda, I knew they had tea. Why not? It might make me a regular customer...and I'm relatively sure that was the plan anyway. With the economy being what it is, we all are trying to stir up a little more business. Even myself. So, off I go with coupon in hand.

I'm at the service bar and the young lady asks to help me. I show her the coupon and said I would like to take advantage of this great offer. Without a skip in her response, she said, "I cannot honor that today. Last week we gave out $600 worth of free food and no-one came on Saturday or Sunday." My response? "So this coupon is not good any longer?" (It said "good through the 26th"...today is the 21st)"You can come back Saturday or Sunday and use it." "Sorry, I live out of town and will not be back this way then." I ordered a salad, paid for it and gave the coupon to the register person. "Would you throw this coupon away for me? It doesn't seem to be legitimate."

I was kind to all that I spoke with in the business, but in the back of my mind I was placing a memo not to take my business, nor promote their business, ever. Why not? The salad was very good...but the respect just isn't there for me. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Integrity is easy to spot. Lack of integrity is easy to spot. I shall never forget while working for Papazano's Pizza, my nephew sent out an ad that met other ads that were discounted. Little did he realize the greediness of some people that were about to take him to the cleaners. Yet he honored his word. Coupons came in for $100 to $150 off tires, some $50 coupons came in from the phone company for switching long distance plans. It went on and on. He asked one customer what they were going to do with so much pizza. "We have a freezer," the customer said. Unbelievable!!!Some of Rusty's employees encouraged him not to honor those outrageous ads that were coming in. "I can't do that since it's not clear in the ad, I have to honor it." That week he gave away $7,000 worth of pizza!!! Integrity in it's purest form. And he did it all with a smile!

So...Quizno's, I'm sorry...I just can't feel sorry for ya!!! You had a chance to step up to the plate and show that you were true to your word, even when it created an unforeseen hardship.

Hedonism

LifeGate Church has been taking a look at six worldviews that we compete against. The one we are looking further into today is hedonism. This one has peeked my curiosity, so I delved a little deeper into the beginnings of such a view of what life should be.

What follows is adapted from The Encyclopedia Britannica:

The philosopher Aristippus (born c. 435 BC, Cyrene, Libya...died 366 BC, Athens [at 69 yrs. of age])was one of the disciples of Socrates. He was the founder of the Cyrenaic school of hedonism, the ethic of pleasure. Aristippus believed that the good life rests upon the belief that among human values pleasure is the highest and pain the lowest...and one that should be avoided. He also warned his students to avoid inflicting, as well as suffering, pain. Like Socrates, Aristippus took great interest in practical ethics. While he believed that men should dedicate their lives to the pursuit and enjoyment of pleasure, he also believed that they should use good judgment and exercise self-control to temper powerful human desires. His motto was, "I possess, I am not possessed."

Pleasure, in and of itself, is not bad...as some religions would have you to believe. Most things in life can lead to a destructive lifestyle...and most things in life can lead to a fulfilled lifestyle. Bad or good. It's up to you. Hedonism would tell you that pleasure aka happiness is what life should revolve around. Christianity would tell you "Like a city that is broken into and without walls, is a man who has no control over his spirit." (Prov. 25:28) Some things in life bring pain. We cannot avoid that. But we CAN live life in such a way that when the pain comes, we can have peace and not beat ourselves up for the part we may or may not have played in that pain. If our lives are centered, are secure upon the rock (firm foundation) of the principles Jesus Christ lived before us, we can go through any "storm" in life and know that nothing and no-one can take our freedom in Christ away from us. Happiness can and will be a very big part of our life. But, just like everything in life, we are to control our spirit so that we can experience the true happiness. Happiness that doesn't bring pain at the end of the day. Happiness that you can depend on. Happiness that is rooted in the core of our being. A place where Jesus and the principles he gave to us, rule.

Happiness does not come from pleasures. At the end of the day...you are still alone...inside. Happiness comes from knowing Jesus. Then and only then can Jesus tell you who you are. That, my friend, is true security and happiness. We don't have to go out seeking pleasures and happiness. We already possess it. It follows us. There are days I'm sad. There are days I'm exstatic...giddy...with happiness. Our emotions were given by God. He expects us to be in charge of such a precious gift called life. What we do with that gift will produce one of two things...peace or maddening insecurities. Why do we continue to search for happiness in all the wrong places?

Which will you choose?

My Friend

My late friend Jani, has been on my mind consistently for a while now. Memories of her just pop in my head. Some little something will remind me of her smile, her laugh, her prayers. I drove by some road kill the other day...a skunk...that made me laugh remembering that Jani loved the scent of skunk. She wanted to bottle the fragrance. What???! I have a pic of her in my chemical service book. There she is with that pretty smile of hers with the twinkle in her eye. She's holding one of her favorite hand puppets. She wanted me to keep this picture in her file so I could see the way she wanted her hair cut.

Every day, as I go to work, I must pass a couple of trees on Veterans Boulevard, that were "our trees". Jani and I used to talk about those trees and the symbolism they were to us. The tall one with few limbs was Dennis & me. We hadn't really affected or reached as many people as she and Leroy...thus the few limbs. (My thoughts...not hers). The shorter one with all the branches was Jani and Leroy, who had been foster parents for many years and had affected many lives. I shall never forget the look that came out of her eyes one day as we drove past them together. Beneath the tree that we had dubbed hers was what appeared to be a root cellar. Funny...neither of us had really noticed it before. It was covered in vines and all sorts of connecting bondage's as if it were sealed where no one could enter without first doing major destruction. I said, "I wonder what is in that cellar." Her eyes met mine with a look that haunts me to this day. "I don't know," she replied.

Well, you would have to know the way my mind, along with my friend's mind, worked, to understand the sense of foreboding we both felt. That was the first and the last time we discussed it. I can't remember just how long it was after the drive, that we had a terrible ice storm that destroyed many of our city's trees. Her tree was one of them.

There was only one other time I remember seeing that same look in her eye, and it was during the time God was preparing to bring her home. Her final lap in the race she had run. What a race it was! A unique individual, that one! We laughed, we cried, we shared many thoughts, memories and just plain ole good times. But that look...it was a knowing look without admission. She was spending a few days in a local nursing home and I felt her time was near. We had gone to visit her and like most days, there were a number of people surrounding her. She was loved. As we prepared to leave I wanted to pray with her, so I slipped between her bed and the wall. She couldn't speak at this point in her journey...the surgeries had damaged the area that controlled speech. I gently took her hand in mine and prayed for God's grace and mercy and reminded Him how much we needed her. Her eyes met mine...there was that look again. "I'll never forget you," I whispered in her ear, as tears streamed down my face. Within the week my friend went home to be with her Creator, her Saviour, her friend, her Redeemer.

The root cellar? It had it's own symbolism. Turns out it's name was brain cancer, deeply rooted, without acceptance. But, you can't wipe out a life as beautiful as hers. If you ever drive down Veteran's Blvd., notice the green vine growing up the dead tree. My friend lives on in the heart's of those she left behind, producing extended life on planet Earth. If I can touch half the number of people Jani did; if I can make a difference, as she did...my life here will not have been in vain. God was evident in her life. I pray that God will show himself to others through the life I live here as He did through my friend. I will never forget...