Managing Stress...Is It Really Possible?

In a word...NO! It's impossible, so you might as well stop trying to. The day may start peaceful, or it may not. The week, the month, the year. What is your breaking point, and how do you "manage" it? Can you predict unforeseen events? A lazy co-worker? How about a "deadline" at work that comes out of nowhere? What about a sick or misbehaving child? Many work from home now, but what happens when you have to make a trip to school to pick up a sick child and you have a flat tire? These are stressful events that just pop up, and we can neither control nor manage them. Right? So the doctor says to get rid of some of the stress in your life. HOW DO YOU DO THAT??? Great question!

Sure, do your deep breathing. Did the stress magically disappear. I doubt it. We still have to deal with whatever caused the stress in the first place. And here is where the magic happens. We CAN manage our peace of mind. We can manage how we approach every situation, every day. How? Just by the way we acknowledge its existence. It can be seen as an opportunity, or it can be seen as an obstacle. We can approach the stressful situation with a calm, sound mind...OR we can approach it as just more stress in an already stressful day.

How do we manage our peace of mind, you ask? Perspective. That's how. Let's look at the simplest example. You woke up today. Do you know how many people didn't? Stay with me now... For those still breathing, what country did you wake up in? Not all countries have freedoms, much less opportunities to become a better wage earner. And what about war torn Israel and Palestine, and Ukraine? If you woke up in America, you won the lottery!

Not to be condescending, but did you wake up with a roof over your head? Not everyone did. Is there a car sitting in your drive? Many don't have their own transportation. Do you have a job? Many don't have. For various reasons, true. And we can speculate about that all day long, but it still doesn't change the fact that you DO have a job. Along with the possible stresses it brings with it. Or should we say, "along with the possible opportunities" it brings with it?

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that there is so much more going right for us today, than what's going wrong, but we've been taught to focus on what's going wrong. Am I right? Even before we rolled out of bed this morning, a lot of good was happening in our world and in our lives, and there's so much to be thankful for. So...wouldn't you agree that the main remedy for stress is gratitude? We all could us more gratitude. Right?

May I suggest a few things to help us get our gratitude on?

1) Spend a few minutes every morning of your day, every day, thinking about what you're thankful for...your spouse, your children, your parents, your house, the things you have in your life...your purpose, your job, your co-workers, your pets, your eyes, your lungs, your heart...anything you are thankful for. They are gifts that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. As the saying goes, that's why they are called the "present."

2) Be grateful for everything you have in your life. Focus on what you DO have, and not what you DON'T have. We had a paralyzed from the chest down, friend, a very long time ago. He's gone on to be with his Creator, now. But while living, after a horrible accident left him paralyzed, as we visited with him while he sat in his wheelchair, I asked him how he was managing the stress of a forever changed life. His response? "I focus on what I CAN do, not what I can't." Profound. Right?

3) I know you may be going through some really tough things right now. We do have those mountains that need climbing, every now and again. But let me challenge us all to, every time those stressful moments come up, go right back to gratitude and make our brains think about all the good things that are going right in that moment...not the bad, or like I like to say, the "not-so-good".

Many of the things we consider problems and major stressors are not really such a big deal. "Walk a mile in my shoes." I know. However, what I consider real stressors come in the form of losing a loved one or having something happen to a child, or spouse, or dearly loved one. Those are real stressful situations. When my sister was diagnosed with a rare condition that took way too long to diagnose (she went through a LOT of painful experiments), THAT was considered a bit stressful. PSP (Progressive Supranuclear Palsy) was the final and accurate diagnosis. Trapped inside a body that had no ability to control any part of itself. Her very intelligent, compassionate, and strong brain could command all day and all night, to no avail. All signals stopped at the base of her skull where the spinal cord relays the jobs to the body that need doing. Nothing could be passed on to her seriously beautiful body. It slowly consumed her, beginning at her feet, so she knew what was happening at all times, and she faced it head on. She relied on the things she COULD do (and her amazing husband), until she could no longer do them. She was a prisoner in the truest sense of the word, until she was returned to her forever home. I can only imagine the level of stress my brother-in-law endured as he watched and helped her along her journey. Kind of puts things into perspective, right?

I guess my point would be to not treat everyday stresses as if one our loved ones is dying or has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Don't do that to yourself every day. Put things in perspective. Most things are just not that big of a deal. There is a solution to every problem if we just breathe deep and look at the problem as an opportunity instead of a deal breaker. We have soooo much to be grateful for!

Wrapping this up, please indulge me with one more bit of encouragement. Health is our biggest asset. If we lose that, we pretty much have nothing. If our lungs are working properly, then we are winning! If our heart continues to beat as it was created to do, then we are winning! If our brain continues to feed us information and grows in knowledge with love and compassion at its center, we are winning! We don't have to live another day stressing if we choose not to. Let's choose to be thankful regardless of what this life throws our way. Plus...stress keeps us from experiencing real health. Right?

With all my love (most of the time 😉) for all of God's Creation...here you will find me, in Mary's World.

The Girl Who Walks...Episode 4

It's been a minute (three months to be exact), since I've shared any experience with the girl who walks past my house on the daily. Well, almost daily. Daily, through the heat of the summer and when the day didn't break so late as 7:15 AM. During the summer months, she was out before the sun came up, usually around 5:45 AM. But now, as the colder months have set in, it's rare to see her out before 8 AM, and on some days she doesn't show up at all.

Today, she seems different, some how. A little more relaxed, as if her fear has been conquered, and the mace she used to clutch tightly, now is only an extension of her hand. Still, I wonder if the years are catching up with her. The questions in her eyes tells me she may have more on her mind these days. At least at this moment. Perhaps a bit pre-occupied, if you know what I mean. I've always thought her to be reclusive, but you know what they say about still waters, yes? They run deep. She is a curious soul for sure. And she has peeked my own curiosity on more than one occasion, as you well know. I have shadowed her a lot of days, almost as a protector would. I think she knows. 

Back from the this mornings invigorating walk, I'm still thinking about the surprise she pulled on me. The route took a very unexpected turn. As she neared her usual hill to go down and then back up, her pace never wavering, she went straight ahead instead of making the turn. I knew she was up to something, because she was entering a whole new dimension to her otherwise flat line existence. She IS becoming braver! 

Once she stepped over the roads that intersected, it was as if a whole new community emerged. I knew this. She didn't. I wouldn't say they are the rich and famous, but they certainly have a very different life style than she. Her neighborhood was like the slums, or on the "wrong side of the tracks", compared to where she was headed. How she would handle it was still unclear. 

Don't misunderstand me. She does live in a very nice neighborhood. But, have you ever consciously experienced the differences between daylight and dark? Well...that would be sort of what it is like when entering this particular neighborhood. Houses are double to triple the size of those in her neck of the woods. Christmas lawn decorations are, well....different! My walking girl's yard looks nice and all, but more earthy, woodsy, than this particular neighborhoods. Gold is everywhere! Gold (large gold) reindeer, gold doorway trim, gold Santa Sleigh, gold lights, gold tree ornaments, gold strands of cords that trim areas of the yard, and illuminate once the evening unfolds and takes over where daylight left off.

Her pace slowed as she briefly examined each homestead. She looked happy. Thoughtful. Even peaceful. Misty rain began to gently enfold her as she opened the umbrella. It was if we were walking together at that moment. Sharing the beauty of the stillness of the morning hours, and the comfort of seeing through another's eyes as humanity blends during this time of year. All celebrating in some fashion or another. We are different, yet alike. A common thread runs through us all. Many are unaware of it, many depend on it. Would you like to offer your insight as to what that common thread might be? 

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a New Year that is filled with light, beautiful reflections, and fresh perspectives. May you always be aware of opportunities that cross your path. 

Breathing in the goodness of our God, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

What Does Light Have to do with Darkness?

I can't believe it's been a full month since last sitting at my computer for anything other than official business. But, alas, it most certainly has been. Why? Because my mind has been entangled with the busy time of business. Constant social media posting I felt needed to be done, in order to launch a very important jewelry line, that gives rescued women of human trafficking a means to support themselves. With that, I've been focused.

But today, as I sat on our back porch enjoying the lighted Christmas Tree that is snuggled in a corner just behind a small swing, made even more beautiful by another (much smaller) lighted tree just in front of it, I began thinking about the forgiveness of wrongs that we have committed, or have been committed against us. The one and only...Jesus Christ of Bethlehem, Israel was the one who has freed us from those wrongs, if we can accept it.

The words, "You are forgiven," are much more than mere words. When we speak these words, they can free prisoners from guilt in an instant. When we accept this gift of forgiveness from the Father, we are compelled to become conduits of forgiveness for others who may have wronged us because we also were forgiven when we least deserved it.

I get it. I do. Why would we want to forgive a wrong that was intentional? I suppose we each have our own need to reason it out. For many years I could not, would not, forgive the one who altered my life. He didn't deserve it. I wished the very worst would come to him. The problem with that kind of thinking, with harboring it, nurturing it, is that it keeps a very dark presence inside of us that is trying to hide from the light that was instilled inside us while we were yet inside our mothers womb. It simply cannot be done. Light will always dispel the darkness and we must look at that dark spot, examine it, as we face it. It's always poking its head up...

How can one serve two masters? Matthew 6: 24 says it's not possible, because we nurture one and hate the other. I agree. I always hated that I felt so "evil" towards the man who took my innocence and continued to hold me captive until I bowed to his authority, while "serving" the One who rescued me from such a dark existence. It took many years to realize the one holding me captive was also controlled. Controlled by hate, insecurity, and hopelessness. His actions were coming from something so deeply imbedded inside him, his only release was to put them on another. I was that other. 

When God showed me that, I was able to forgive him, just as I had been forgiven. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to allow them back into your life. It just means that now, your heart can receive all the light that it was intended to have. I won't deceive you and say it was an easy road. It wasn't. We have to CHOOSE forgiveness. I am a free woman because I chose to forgive, even if it took me way longer than it should have. I continue to forgive when it's needed, for all wrongs committed against me, whether intentional, or accidental. I Corinthians 13:5 says (when speaking about love), it "...keeps no record of wrongs."

We have been given a power that would be impossible had it not been for God's sacrifice.

Receive and give it generously and often. Freedom is never easy, but is so very life giving! 

Leaning into what God has blessed me with, here you will find me...in Mary's World.