I remember the day I was trying to find a place to put her picture, (the real one, not this frail attempt at a pencil sketch). I heard her voice, clear as a bell, say, "You're going to forget me."
Anyone that has known Becky Johnson, is highly unlikely to forget her. Ever. I admit, I rarely stop by the grave site. Just can't find it in myself to stand there at the foot of her grave, knowing the body of one I cherished is under dirt. I do know she isn't there. And such a comfort that is to me. I can deal with this horrible situation much better knowing the person of Rebecca Louise (Prater) Johnson, is no doubt having a wonderful experience all her own. I can only image what it must be like..with the Lord of Glory. But if dreams are any indication of what life is like there...well, she's got it pretty good! (to say the least). She is so beautiful, happy and full of life. Radiant, might be a better word.
Our oldest daughter, Lindsey, has been having frequent dreams of her and calls to share them with me. I, too, have the dreams...but Becky likes visiting Lindsey, it seems, more than me. I must have a talk with her about that. Now, don't pretend you don't "talk" with those you've loved that have gone on to be with the Lord. It just seems to come naturally. The Bible tells us not to talk to the dead. But I'm pretty sure the Lord was talking about us trying to conjur up spirits, with candles and darkly lit rooms, and such. I'm simply talking about when she comes front and center in my mind, I just talk to her. It's mostly a one sided conversation...but that's okay with me. Sometimes I think I can hear her answer me...but it's probably just what I remember about her and how I think she would respond to my silly discourse.
She was a jewel, that one. Always said what she thought and was sweetly (some of the time) direct. But her goal was to help you see how very wonderful you really are. She always prayed for people to be ruthless with their problems. Wanting us to be victorious...not victims. "If you face your problems, they cannot conquer you." "Jesus is the answer." "Everyone creates their own value." "So? Take care of it!" "Now listen, Mary..." Yup...she was passionate. Now I've made myself cry. Back in a minute... :*
I miss her so much at times. I miss her coming to the house, even if we weren't home, to borrow a can of something or other. She would never call and ask if I had it on hand, she just brought her spare key down and helped herself! I wouldn't know it was gone until I had need of it. Then, I would go to HER house and get whatever I needed! We could do that, ya know. She was my sister, my protector (for many years), and my spiritual guide. Her instructions always made sense, I just didn't like a lot of them. Especially when she told me I couldn't always have it my way. She loved me anyway...wanted to kill me probably, on occassion.
Well, I could possibly write a book about her, but I'll save that for later. Just know that from the time I was 9 years old, I can remember her saving me from something or other. There was the time I was thrown into deep water, as my assailant stood on the shore and laughed, yelling "sink or swim." Well, I was drowning! Becky to the rescue! And did my brother ever get a tongue lashing from her! She was so mad at him...but as far as I know, she never ratted on him. That was only one occassion. There were many more to come...much more tramatic. But Becky was always there, being the hand of God, for her little sister.
This pencil drawing of her, came as a result of seeing another blogger's drawings that I follow. She's a pencil artist and I love visiting her blogs. I visited her site this a.m. and found enough inspiration to bust open the new drawing tablet that was a part of a Christmas gift last year. I have never attempted a portrait of anyone, but couldn't think of anyone else I would rather try to sketch than Becky. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I just had to try. As you can see, I must practice, practice, practice. But the passion was there as my pencil gently glided over the pad. I kept telling her I was doing my best. "Yes, I know the lips need work." "Uh-huh...you never wore your hair that high." Erase, erase, re-sketch. "Sorry, Beck...I just can't get the shadowing right." Finally...when I finished, I sent the drawing, via text message, to my girls in North Carolina, with the inscription, "Does this look like anyone you know?" I was very relieved when they recognized their Aunt Becky. (Of course that was after Lindsey said, "Marilyn Monroe?")
Well...here's to you my beautiful sister and friend! I will see you soon!
P.S.
Lindsey and Meg...that does not mean I'm headed there anytime soon. Well, I don't think so anyway. LOL. It's just my way of saying that time passes quickly. I'm hoping I'm allowed to stick around to meet and influence any grandchildren I might be blessed with. And...I hope they like my slobbers, cause I'll be kissin' them ALL THE TIME!!! AND...
Until then, you'll find me here...in Mary's World!
