Age, Paranoia, and the Paranormal

Our paths crossing once again in the narrow hall-way and the connecting bathroom door, my husband swipes my shoulder with more force than I normally enjoy. "What was that?" I asked? "Something was crawling on your shoulder", said he. "WHAT?!!! WHAT WAS IT?" With a very calm, unexcited voice my dear husband says, "I'm not sure...don't have my glasses on."(Age)

Whatever it was or wasn't, he made the very definite motion of smashing it beneath his number 11D shoe. I'm really curious as to how he knew where to "smash" if he couldn't see it on my shoulder, how could he find it on the floor??? Or was he really sure he got "it" off my shoulder. Oh great! "Brush me off...quick!"

I grab MY glasses and begin to look on the floor where his foot was making the rocking, twisting motion...as if there might be something very huge beneath it. Nothing. Maybe "it" was squished so hard it was buried in the short fibers of the throw we have in the bathroom. I found nothing but a small lint fiber from a towel and a couple of hairs that have joined the rest of the crew that have taken their leave of duty attached to the follicles of one MJLewis.

Okay...where is the "spider". I knew it was a spider because Brandi and Ami have been very generous in sharing with us all on fb, the fact they are out there in full force...crawling everywhere. In your nose, your mouth, your ears! Well, that may be somewhat of an exaggeration...but none-the-less, they ARE out there...or in here...or up there, down there, around there, between there...here. (Paranoia)

Into the bedroom I go, lift the covers to check for colonies. No spider nestings that I can see. All looks pretty clear, except for that one spot of something that oozed out of Dennis' tattooed arm. Maybe I should change the sheets today. =}

Back to the bathroom...by now if indeed there was something, besides lint or hair, resting or crawling, on my shoulder, it would long be gone. I'm realitively sure if it had been beneath his foot,there would be a spot of SOMETHING to signify it's presence. Nope. Must have been a spirit spider.(Paranormal) Do those exist? Well, it sounds good and keeps me from believing there actually was something there...on my shoulder...crawling!

One of my sisters had a spider crawl into her ear canal once, while sleeping. For days, she felt something was there inside her ear, but couldn't get it out. It had gone too deep or she had actually pushed it further in by trying to get it out. Whatever the case, she ended up in the doctors office with an infected eardrum. With the greatest of ease, Mr. Doctor, with his handy dandy pair of tweezers pulled the now dead culprit out, cleaned the ear canal with hydrogen poroxide and sent her on her way. All better with only one promise added to herself. Cotton in the ears before heading to bed. But what about the mouth??? We didn't know they would crawl into the mouth too! But NOW we do. Thank you Brandi. Question is...how would one stuff cotton in their mouth without choaking on it? Maybe we could use duct tape!

Help Find the Missing PB&J Sandwich

Saturday, May 15, 9a.m. and the Lewis household was quiet. Very quiet. It was time to make use of the time presented to the woman of the house. Many areas needed attention, but the office space at the salon had become more of a storage shed than a place for mental work. That was going to be a full days work, so the lady must not be disturbed once she became focused on the job at hand.

1. Face washed, teeth brushed. Check.
2. Work clothes on. Check.
3. Monthly Maintenance, Colostrum, and Fish Oil swallowed, with aid of Raw Apple Cider Vinegar. Check.
4. Cleaning equipment gathered. Check.
5. PB&J prepared and sealed in plastic bag. Check.
6. Cats feed. Check.
7. Lights out. Check.
8. IPhone tucked safely in purse. Check.
9. Back door checked for double locking. Check.

On the way the lady must stop at a few places. Wal-Greens, the post office, water payment place, bank, Wal-Mart for some General Chicken (YUM!)and don't forget to fill the car with gas. Then on to the study...ummm...storage area.

Throw the package from Wal-Greens into the facial room...you can put the purchases away later.

Awww...at last! Time to de-junk and make a get-away place for thinking about the next step in marketing! Yes! How I've missed you, my place of solitude. Extra column, you've got to go. Winter drinks, let's see if we can find a place for you up on that top shelf. Down you come large box of greenery and...???...extra styling tools, I know you've been waiting a long time to be used, but your family is holding up just fine. You're time will come I'm sure. But for now let's nestle you on top of the extra coloring bowls. Yeah...that looks good and you'll be much easier to find. Now there is plenty of room for the oh so awesome winter drinks. Grabbing the displayed items as well...do you mind sharing? We'll see you soon for the cold months are just around the corner. Just you wait and see, people will be calling out for you before you know it!

Now, what is that lonely box full of? The one that sits in front of the shelving...and when did she put you there? You certainly have a nice fragrance. Sea Side Home Fragrances!!! It's your time to shine! You will fill the salon with your ever so inviting fresh air and sea grass scent! And your shells are so very alluring.

Wow! The lady had forgotten she had some Feet by OPI! Callus Therapy, Double Coverage, and Callus Files!!! Wahoo! Just in time for summer feet! Oh look! There are TWO extra rolls of bathroom towels. How did you stay hidden being so large and all? And what is that sitting behind you? A whole BAG of Halls Mentho-lyptus vapor action honey-lemon drops! Jack Pot!

Hey, it's time to eat! Now what did she do with the chicken? Ahhh...there it is on the service counter, but looks smaller than it did before.

After much more cleaning, re-arranging, and tossing, it had become very late and time to head home. Looking over everything that had been accomplished, there was a sense of pride. Good job, lady! You can now lay your head down with peace knowing you've made a dent in the ever increasing piling of STUFF!

In the car, just called home to alert husband she's heading his way. "What's for dinner?" she asks. Wait...didn't she bring a PB&J sandwich to eat? Where is it? Okay, stop the car and go find it. It may not be the best thing to leave around to draw the neighborhood bugs. Not in the service area, not in the facial room, not in the pedicure room OR the office. No, don't see it in the bathroom. (Not sure what it might be doing there...but oh well.)Well, the lady is really tired and don't care that much at this point. Let's go home!

Did she leave it in the car all day? Not under the seat...not ON the seat...no where to be found. Call home! Maybe she just left it on the counter after preparing it. What a ding bat. No, hubby doesn't see it anywhere. Well, that really doesn't mean a lot. Hubby doesn't see anything unless it screams at him and jumps into his arms.

The PB&J is forgotten, since it can't be found anyway. The lady sure is curious though. Any ideas where the PB&J might be?

Anyone guessing the location of the MIA PB&J will be rewarded with a sachet of choice to put in your car. (The lady is really good friends with the owner of South Side Salon.) Choices available are Sea Side, White Linen and Lavender, Nature's Spa, Magnolia and Cabernet.

The lady FOUND the sandwich three days later. Cast your vote for a free Scentation Sachet!!!

Life from Death

It constantly amazes me how life can come from death! I'm sure I've only scraped the surface of understanding. Driving down Veteran's Boulevard this morning, coming to work, I noticed the trees that greeted me. They were big...majestic. Totally green and totally awesome to look upon. It's been only two and a half years ago when the ice storm hit little Miami, Oklahoma and virtually destroyed our trees. Split them right down the middle and bowed the surviving limbs almost to the ground. One would not know by looking upon them now. It has taken these last two years to get them looking like they MIGHT survive. Many said it looked like a war zone here in Miami. I would have to agree with them.

I know I've seen these beautiful trees every day coming into Miami...why today the true beauty was revealed to me, I'm not sure. Only that God takes moments of our lives to speak a creative word to us. It struck me that out of so much death, life now was victorious! Many, no...most, of those trees survived! And what a sight to behold now. So it is with us. God created us to survive even the most horrendous events that prey upon us. And not only survive, but we are revealed to all creation more beautiful than we began! How can ANYONE make this out to be coincidental? Simply amazing it is to me!

I'm reminded of the Scripture that says, "Lift up your heads, O ye gates...that the King of Glory may come in." (Psalm 24:9) Truly we must see that our lives were not happenstance. There is a purpose...a plan for all mankind. And Jesus secured our lives that day He gave all He had. So that life might come forth from death! Beauty from ashes, joy from sadness.

Wedding Challenges

I know I should already have the dress hanging in my closet. But I don't. Why? Because I do not like shopping for myself. Nothing seems to make me look like Ms. Welch. Raquel Welch. How can she be 102 and still look 45?

Yesterday I spent most of the day looking. That's right...looking. I did try on a few things, but while looking fabulous on the rack, they looked down right comical when hugging my bod. I sent a pic to Lindsey of the one that looked almost cute on me. "Yes, I like that. But not for the wedding, right?" Of course I responded with, "No..."

During my walk-about, I spotted many interesting creatures. Tall, short, overly plump, overly skinny...and I DO mean overly! Can toothpicks really walk? Then there were those guys wearing jeans with the waistband fitting just under their butts and walking like old men, "right leg go far right, left leg go far left", just to keep their sorry pants from dropping to the floor. Once in a while they would pull them up just about a quarter of an inch. How I wanted to tell them if they would go up another 6 inches they wouldn't have to be holding on to them so much. And then I saw HER! Oh my...WHAT is that hanging out of her nose?!!! That just can't be! A ring with a CHAIN?!!! Wait...something is also protruding from the back of her ear...in the MIDDLE next to her head. OUCH! That had to have hurt! And the skin tight pants that some of the boys are wearing! How do they get them on? They must be spandex. From one extreme to the next. Baggy, 3 sizes too big, to skin tight where you can actually see the blood coursing through their bodies as the heart pumps it. Holy toledo. I wonder what they are thinking as I swish past them. If I can actually get past them. They walk in three's...taking up the entire walk-about. Once, I passed a line of these very interesting children and as the air swept past their frail bodies, I heard giggling. Was it the old fashioned hair-do? Maybe it was my 90's fitting jeans and very comfy deceased friends elbow length shirt. Maybe they thought I was going to a fire. I don't know.

My day wasn't very productive, unless you count the fact that I got to see a lot more of the world than I normally get to. I even saw a couple that I should have said hello to (I knew them), but didn't feel I had the time to visit. So, now, I STILL have to find that teal blue, with a drop of sage green, dress. Off I go. Tradition says I should get my attire before the groom's mom gets hers. I fear the groom's mom may be just a tad more shop savvy than this little farm raised girl.

On a different note...gray hair is over-taking my naturally chocolate colored hair, and if it's to look natural for the wedding, I must get the color back into it today just so I can color it again once more before Lindsey's wedding. And then there is the issue with my waist being somewhat larger than my hips. I've got "Making the Cut" by Jillian Michaels, sitting on my desk. It looks great there! She claims I can drop 20 pounds in a month and stop the show at my daughter's wedding.

And the saga continues...

I've Got You

One of my favorite shows on television is "24". Two weeks ago, Jack Bauer's girl friend was killed by a Russian sniper because they were afraid she could identify someone that tried to destroy CTU with a car bomb. She had worked as an undercover agent for CTU and was planted in a Russian ring some years before, so she knew many of the Russians and their connections. After the snipers fire found it's mark, Jack gathered Rene up in his arms and said, "I've got you. I've got you." He held her close as he called 911 for help and then ran, as fast as he could while holding her, trying so very hard to get to a hospital before she died. Of course he was hoping to save her, but that didn't happen.

There's something about being wrapped in a man's arms. Something secure. Something safe. Rene must have felt it. Well, she looked like she did anyway. I realize it was just a television show and someone had written a really great script. However, in this earthly realm, anyone that has a loving man in their life knows what I'm talking about. I think of my sister that left us almost 2 years ago now. While she was going through a potentially terrifying disease,(I say potentially because one would never have known she was terrified) her husband would often hold her close. I wonder how many times he whispered in her ear, "I've got you. I've got you." When the disease began it's journey inside her body, she would lose her balance and fall, causing horrible bruising on her face and upper body. Her feet just wouldn't come up off the ground enough to move forward without stumbling. How horrible for her. She had always been an active lady and now, little by little PSP was taking control of every part of her being, save brain functioning. In a few short months my sis could do nothing for herself...she was at the mercy of those who loved her. And mercy came to her. God filled her heart with joy that even I cannot understand but am very grateful to our Lord for.


As I was coming to work this morning, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "I've got you. I've got you." (If He can use a donkey, He certainly can use a sitcom.) =} Driving along this a.m., I was listening to some Christian music for the first time in a long little while. Usually I just listen to the quietness as I drive to work...but not today. Tears came rushing down my face as I listened to the music. Then I heard it. "I've got you."

Now as I sit typing, I'm wondering what He is preparing me for. Whatever it is, I know He has me...

Traveling Sidewalks

On occasion people have asked me why I walk so fast. On other occasions, those same people will say, "You make me tired just watching you flit from place to place. Don't you ever just sit down?" The other day, my gal Friday says, "You have too much going on." I truly don't get it! I may be busy, but compared to my mother, I'm pretty lazy. I suppose I learned most my habits from her. But then again, my dad always said, "work first, play later." Once everything was done that must be done living on a farm, THEN one could rest.

I've been in airports since our girls moved to North Carolina. We won't talk about THOSE experiences. But coming to NC this past week-end, alone..., I noticed how very much I love those conveyor belts, or is it fast moving walk-ways? Oh wait...they're called "moving sidewalks"! My Mother would have absolutely LOVED those things. If she could have found her balance getting on and off. =} My husband gets a kick out of watching me come off them. It's as if I've been shot through a cannon and land 2 feet beyond the edge. Oh well, someone has to be the one that gives others conversation. Glad I can help.

As I was saying, I love those moving walk-ways, with maybe one exception. I'm relatively sure God saw my need and instructed the brainy people to create these things. They are God's gift to those of us that really want and most of the time need, to get somewhere. But invariably, there will be traffic jams on these wonderful pieces of creation. So why do people with no where to go and no desire to get there, ride these marvels of busy people helps? There is only one word I know that could possibly describe them. Lazy. Okay, okay. Maybe that's not altogether fair. Maybe they have an illness that keeps them from walking. But how did they get to the moving sidewalks? So that can't be it. Maybe they have heart problems and need whatever they can find to help them get where they are going. That's probably the true reason. Now I'm feeling really bad for the frustration I felt with the many "traffic jams" on those precious conveyor belts built just for me. "Excuse me, excuse me," I said more than once, laden down with a 60 pound carry-on and my 40 pound purse, I KNOW they are aware of my presence. And the belt belongs to ME...right? So they give in (sometimes) and move over 1/2 inch. "Oops! I'm so sorry. Did that hurt?"

Before you start throwing eggs at me, you must understand my connecting flight was waiting on me, depending on me, to claim my seat. The first flight was 30 minutes behind schedule and because of thunderstorms in the area, had to move out of their prescribed flight pattern and go "the long way around." My seat partner was afraid he would miss HIS connecting flight. (He had an hour lay-over and a buzz going on). My lay-over was much shorter and I had to walk 10 miles to get to the out-going gate. But never fear! Those moving side-walks will get you there, Mary! Because you, unlike the rest of the population, actually walk while being carried along!

Well, I did make it...with a few minutes to spare...sorry for knocking your hip out of socket lady. I even got to have eye contact with some cute little kiddos. So, now what's on our agenda for some excitement? Hope I don't have to wait until I'm headed home on those big birds in the sky, for excitement. WHAT AM I THINKING? I'm with my girls! That in itself is plenty...