A Tiger's Stripes

 

It's been said that a tiger can't change its stripes. You've probably heard that, right? And as true a statement as that may be, what it refers to, in my opinion, CAN be changed.

Many situations we find ourselves to be in, as we grow up and continue to mature, causes a lot of poor choices in many of us. We blame the situations and not our responses to the situations. Simply because all we know how to focus on is our own preservation. We have a multitude of emotions that rise to the surface and we just go with it as we ourselves, plummet, seemingly unable to breathe on our own.

For some, it takes years to find understanding and come to realize that as an innocent, we became caught in the not-so-innocent actions of others. We finally find freedom, but the memories just won't leave us alone. They come as flash-backs and terrors, as fear becomes a constant companion. We receive gifts in the mail, phone messages, & visits to cities near us where we are urged to meet up for another chance at life in the dungeon. Our bodies may be free, but it takes time for our minds to be free. At least it did mine.

Some would say, "Why did God allow all that to happen to you?" Oh, it wasn't His choice for me. There's this thing called free will that God initiated from the beginning of human kind. Yet, while in this very dark abyss, He covered me, protecting when I wasn't even aware. When my mind takes me back there, it is clear He was with me all along, and it is with extreme gratitude He loved me in spite of where my feet had taken me.

Many are the stories I could tell of how the One who rescues us, rescued me, and set my feet on solid ground where I could feel a love like I had never known. Yet, this amazing brain we were created with has the ability to store all of life's memories. The good, the bad, the ugly. Truly. Yet, as we totally surrender our rights to ourselves, a way is made for us where there seems to be no way. When my memory takes me back, I don't relive it, I just stand in awe of it. In awe of all the ways that should have destroyed me, yet God had other plans and said, "No."

Signing out, I want to say that whether we know it or not, God knows how to get our attention. He knows what it will take for us to search for Him. Like getting to the end of hope. And there He waits for us to arrive, so that He may show us how to change our stripes. Even if it's just to make them more colorful.

Always looking for change, here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

My Journey Among the Unseen

I had an interesting conversation at work today. It stirred something inside of me & has prodded me out of my recluse world of "hiding" from certain Biblical views since arriving in NC. Entering a new phase of life, I began to focus on putting pieces of the past behind me. "Moving forward" as they say. That's not always a good idea...

My client reminded me of a younger me. Looking for answers because I had no understanding of God's love. It was as if the eyes of my heart had been closed to any kind of scripture interpretation. For good reason.

On January 12th, of this year, I woke from a dream of a white horse running towards me and into the edge of the ocean. The horse stopped there and focused on me. I was invisible to myself, but was fully aware this horse was sending me a message. I'm just not sure of what that message was. I did know this beauty had my attention.

The next morning, on January 13th, after rising & washing my face, I went into my study (as is my custom), sat down and immediately heard the words, "Hear me" as if they had been very clearly whispered in my ear.

Since that day I have been making my way back to studying the Word and it has led me to some interesting thoughts.

Would you agree that Bible facts are just pieces...bits of scattered data, just begging us to put them in order? In some instances, it's much like a puzzle, waiting to be pieced together. Yet, anyone not serious about its contents, will give up because they tire of the puzzle and the time it takes to understand just a fraction of one entry.

May I submit to you that we gain perspective that is both broader and deeper if we allow ourselves to see the pieces in their own wider context instead of seeing them through a filter of presumption or tradition. We need to see the mosaic created by its pieces. It is when we begin to view the completed mosaic that we find the meaning of all the scattered pieces. The pieces that make up the whole.

Now, try to understand Psalm 82 without filters. Psalm 82 has at its core the unseen realm and its interaction with the human world. This intersection of our domain and the unseen world includes the triune God, along with a much more numerous cast.

Anyone spending serious time in Scripture, know of many odd passages, curious phrases, troubling paradoxes, connections within and between the testaments that can't be coincidental. And so, I begin my journey, once again, of peering into the unseen realm. It's a journey I never should have set aside.

And now you see pieces of me just a little more than before.

Recovery in progress, here...in Mary's World