Have you ever felt as if something was just about to break loose in the space you occupy? Break loose in a good way? Like the sky just may open up, and show you things you're about to be a part of? Things much bigger than you've experienced thus far? Something that will cause your heart to be happier than it's ever been before?
Why I feel this way, I'm not really sure of. Except for the possibility that my world has taken the turn...the bend in the road, so to speak. I'm feeling almost alive again. It's been a long year, for more people than myself. Long...yet it went by, didn't it? And, looking at it from this side of the fence, it didn't take very long at all. My Dennis is here with me now, in North Carolina. My girls and their fellas are close by. We have a place to create a home in, once again. A place family can be together, again. It's been so very long since those days were possible. We are now (as a couple) building relationships within our church family from Hope Community Church in Raleigh, NC.
Last night, we had our first small group dinner since 2011. We used to have them at least once a month...to celebrate whatever we could dream up to label them as. They were usually for a birthday, or a holiday. Experiencing life outside of yourself is life-giving. You can breathe deep, and feel the strength coming into your bones. Into your spirit...your mind.
I've missed "community" more than I realized. I think I may have even become a little lazy...relaxing inside myself, not wanting to do much of anything but just whatever I wanted to do...or didn't want to do, but because there wasn't anything to do, I didn't have a choice. Well, I don't suppose that's entirely true. We always have choices. It's just so stinking easy to get in a mental shut-down of who you were created to be...and do, for crying out loud! And we wallow. With a smile on our faces that is as phony as the day is long.
But now...now, God has lifted my head! I don't know what He's got in store for our family, but my gut says it's going to be worth being hung out to dry. Worth being that cork in the water, just bobbing along. Worth being set on a shelf, with no one being interested in reading what is on your heart. Worth the lonely days...nights.
It reminds me of the Honeysuckle plant. The fragrance comes only during certain seasons. But the fragrance is so worth waiting for. I enjoyed the plant that was in our backyard in Miami, Oklahoma, even during it's time of non-productivity, though it looked so pitiful. I knew a time was coming that it wouldn't appear dead any longer and the fragrance it would share with those close to it, would be the most awesome time. And now, I'm getting that hint of fragrance. And I can't help but be excited! I've lived long enough to know that most of the time, God's extreme surprises, is just that. A surprise! One can't guess the form these super-duper blessings will arrive in. We just wait...with great expectation.
You could say that I'm a lady in waiting...now that's funny!
Yet, here I'll wait...in Mary's World.
