Fall...it's most likely my favorite time of the year. It clears out the heat of long summer days, and ushers in the cool breezes that stir the quickly changing colors of our backyard leaves. Thunderstorms that bring rain, sometimes drizzling rain, sometimes torrential rain, always bring with them a sense of peace. Of solitude. Of grounding strength. This time of year always calms my spirit and causes a refocus for the days ahead that will hopefully bring in some snow that will mound as it falls. Snow that our littles and their parents, can make snow angels in. And build a snowman in. It's rare, here in North Carolina. But one can always hope. Right?
While the last months of the year bring family gatherings that feast at a Thanksgiving Table, and opening gifts during the Christmas holidays, they can also bring with them a melancholy spirit. Especially when family has grown and have others to consider being with during these festive times. Gratitude says enjoy the days you are given, while jealousy tries creeping in because of feelings of least importance. Least resistance has made it easy for those with too much to organize (on that ever growing totem pole), to place you at the bottom. Yet, when we take a step back and take a good hard look, this could actually be seen as a good thing. Even a great thing. Without the security, the balancing anchor, at the bottom of the totem pole, all would fall over. Scrambling to put it all back together would rob one of the joys of these beautiful holidays.
Steeped in tradition, most of us desire to have our loved ones close on the actual day of Thanksgiving, and Christmas. What makes us not want to share those we love, especially when these holidays are all about love? Is it because of traditional values? Or is it because we desire family around us on these special days? To celebrate these actual dates set so very long ago? Why does it matter if we celebrate on those particular days, or days before (or after), as long as a slice of time is carved out for us to be together?
This blogger is grateful for any day she gets to be with her family. But, something about Thanksgiving and Christmas, just leaves a hollow spot when not with family on those days. I've tried shaking it, but oh my, how it clings to me!
I'm not going to place my life along side those that have less (or more) than me, or those that have lost much (or gained much) in this life, even though I could, and would be ashamed I am even making this a thing. But, this is the life I live. Yes, it could be soooo much worse. However, that fact doesn't diminish the feelings of loneliness any of us feel. Rich or poor. Young or old. We all have our own set of emotions we must deal with. Our own "why". So, let's compare (if we must), apples to apples.
After thinking about this, I have decided that:
This year, I will refuse the temptation to mourn, or be jealous of the empty days. Instead, I will create a life outside of what tradition has wrapped me in. Maybe I will find a soup kitchen to volunteer my time in. Or make my "years ago" usual pumpkin and apple pies, and take them to a family that struggles to get by day-to-day. Maybe my husband and I will visit Cracker Barrel for Thanksgiving, sit and play checkers outside until our table is ready, and when finished stop by the neighbors and visit. So many ways a person could turn their complaining into gratefulness.
Counting my many blessings, here you'll find me...in Mary's World
