918.542.6819

Must I call this number? Really? For the last three mornings, upon awaking, these call numbers have been running through my head. Why? Am I to call and see who answers? I've wanted to! But haven't...yet. They are the numbers that had been allotted to my bro-in-law and sister, as a phone connection during their 40 years on highway 10. Well, I don't actually remember the exact number of years they lived there, but I've been here for 35 years and I know they were there sometime before that. And I think they had the same number for all that time.

So, why are these numbers running a race through my mind? Good grief! Are they in any way tied to the 5:55, or the 4:44, or the 3:33, or the 2:22 or the 1:11, or the 10:10, or the11:11, or the 12:12, that seem to plague me???

Most of the time, it's the 5:55 that is brought to my attention. I have searched and searched to understand the possible meaning. Why do my eyes always look at a clock only during these time? The number five (5) signifies "grace". Three (3), "resurrection". So am I being told that grace has been or is being multiplied to me (five 3x's) or that grace has been or will be resurrected for me? The number 15 (5 x 3)signifies "rest". So then...am I to rest, knowing that grace has been resurrected for me? I think so! ONE problem solved! But now that I THINK I understand the message to me, what does my very much missed sister's phone number have to do with anything? Awwww...could it be God is telling me that His grace is sufficient for me, has been multiplied for me, where the loss of my sister is concerned? You know, there have been times I feared toppling over that elusive edge of reality to the point of wondering if I really am living in the "real world." I have come to grips with the possibility of being pacified and allowed myself to believe that if I indeed am living in a fantasy world, that at least it is my reality. And I like my reality! Most of the time. =}

Well...as with much of the time, when I sit down to write out my thoughts, solutions come that have been a mystery to me. I've always known that without the grace of God, I could not walk through this life and live in sanity. He has not given the spirit of fear, but of love, of power and of a sound mind. I've always known that God is the one I can depend on to get me through all the difficulties in life, the rough spots, the uncomfortable spots...some self-inflicted, some others-inflicted. There are many times I want to withdraw from society at large. And I do realize, I'm not the only one. I've heard one of my brother's say it way too many times. I don't like it. Isolation says we don't want to face another issue. But that is just what the enemy of our soul wants us to do. Put us out of the race. At the end of our days, we'll go home to be with the Father, but during our stay here...well, it would simply be without cause if we pulled back and never touched a life. Grace...God's grace will make sure we survive and thrive! Until the day comes for us to go home. I want to stand face to face with Him with excitement because of the lives He touched through this one vessel of His. I read a book one time by Patsy Clairmont, called "God Uses Cracked Pots". The point of the book was to let all who read it, know the difficulties of this life serve to allow God's light to show through the pain (the cracks). He brings us to victory, in spite of our weaknesses. It is evident that only by His grace, not by our strength, we come through with smiles on our faces. Real smiles. No phony baloney smiles.

Even though I do miss my Beck, miss her terribly some days...I can't help but believe she is still here with me. Traveling at the speed of light, going wherever she wants to go. And, no...I don't believe she's an Angel. I believe she is who God created her to be. Her spirit, who we knew through looking into her eyes, is with the Lord. Just as my wonderful friend, Jani, also is. They must be having a great time together. Laughing up a storm. I have a picture of them together from years ago when we all were part of Fellowship of Christians. Holding each others arms, laughing up a storm. What does that mean, anyway? Laughing up a storm? Beats me...I may have to run a search engine on that one. =} I think I may try to figure out a way to get that picture posted to this blog. Why does my mind ramble so much??? Would someone call 918.542.6819 and see who answers? Get back to me on that one, okay? =}

Until then...you'll find me in Mary's World.

How Does One Get from There to Here?

Driving home the other evening I pulled in behind a pick-up truck loaded down with bits of this and that. Iron bars, broken up cabinets, wire pieces sticking out in every direction and other things unidentifiable. Sitting up next to the cab were two people propped as if they didn't have a care in the world. They were almost hidden in amongst all the stuff. As we came upon a stop light, I eased on forward, maybe a little closer than I should have. I wanted to get a look at the guy and gal staring back at me. She was very much over weight; so much so that her arms flared out from the sides of her torso. In her right hand was a large drink cup. I have no idea what she had been drinking, but from the appearance of things, it was something she shouldn't have been. The guy looked a little rough also. They both looked as if they had not seen a shower in some time; hair matted and the pieces that could free themselves was blowing in the hot summer wind. As we came to a stop, she handed the cup to the male person, took out a pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and as she cupped her hand over the end, lit it. So, maybe I judged too quickly...evidently they had enough money to purchase cigarettes and she really didn't look that hungry. So how did they get to this place in their lives?

It was just a question I asked myself. They may be the wealthiest people in the four state area, just moving some things from here to there. Speculation rarely is correct...but I have a habit of making stories up in my head that I think fits whatever it is I'm looking at. Keeps life interesting for me. =} I was getting a few groceries in Wal-Mart one Fall evening and as I rounded an end cap, I noticed a man and a woman looking through some shelving as if they were keeping an eye on another lady. My husband came up about that time and I pointed out to him the two that were surely having an affair and didn't want the poor wife to see them together, so they were hiding behind some shelving until she moved on out of the area and they could go their merry, hopefully seperate ways. My husband laughed at me and informed me the two were Wal-Mart under-cover employees watching a woman they had seen put something in her purse from one of the shelves. Actually she had several things she had tucked away in her purse. They were just waiting on her to go through check out so they could "nab" her. I truly have an interesting mind...contrary to popular opinion.

So...back to the couple in the pick-up truck. My thoughts surrounded their lives as I assessed it in the few moments of waiting for the light to turn green. Did they come from poverty and just never had the opportunities so many others have? Or was this their choosing? If so, why??? What could have happened that would cause what I viewed as great need? But still...there was that pack of cigarettes. Ya know, I've seen people sitting at the intersection of 43 and I-44, dragging on a cigarette, a very nice, healthy dog sitting there with them and holding a sign that tells all that pass by them they need food, money or whatever you can give them. Where did they get that sign? And the markers to write on it? Once in a while I'll see people with just a scrap of cardboard and the words are written with what appears to be an ink pen. Can't hardly see the words. I don't have much of a hard time believing them. But these other people that look as if they've never missed a meal in their lives...nor their dog...and smoking up a storm, well, I'm bumfuzzeled. And you'll see them every week for about four, and then they switch locations with others. Well...I'm off track once again. I think sometimes I must think too much. =}

I didn't worry myself with the situation too long, because they had a ride to wherever they were going and it appeared they were good to go with a full pack (maybe it wasn't full...I don't really know) of cigarettes and one honkin big drink. I didn't have that nagging pull at my heart strings that I have had on occasion, so I let my mind go to the next situation. Which was just to sit quietly, appreciating all the favor I seem to walk in, as I drove home. And as soon as I pulled into our drive, I thanked the Lord for allowing me a safe trip home and giving us the opportunity to choose wisely, providing wisdom when we ask for it. Without His direction in my life, I'm pretty sure the freedom I so enjoy now, would not be mine.

I am, as always...in Mary's World. (God's sharing it with me) =}

The Finisher

It's been so long since I've blogged, I forgot my own URL. Took me downloading a Google Tool Bar before it hit me! www.marysworldmiami.blogspot.com. Every time I tried to find my page, I was directed to hundreds of mary's world's. Oh my goodness. Had I known before hand, I would never have titled my blog "mary's world". Some were just a little much for me. Well, here I am at last...Mary's World (the REAL Mary's World). =}

I just had to share my most recent memorable event. I came to the salon today to do a little side work. I come here most every Saturday to do "a little side work." But today I have finally accomplished the cleaning off of the shelves just beneath the check-out nook, next to the check-out computer. =} They have needed it for a very loooonnnnnggggg time. I had gotten to the place of finding absolutely nothing! And I've always considered myself to be quite organized. "A place for everything and everything in it's place." That's been my life's motto. I'm afraid I have lost sight of that as the seasons have rolled past me in an ever increasing rate of speed. I just can't seem to keep up like I used to. My associate at work would tell you that my mind "flits" from object to object and from task to task. She may be more right than I really want to admit.

So, today...well, it's been productive! I like productive. Makes me feel complete. Especially since the evidence is so overwhelming against my productivity, I find it very encouraging to be productive in at least one mission. It seems a very disturbing truth is arising about my inability to finish anything. If you would look through the book shelves in our study at home, you would find a lot of bookmarks marking the last page read, and it wouldn't be the last page of the book. I always seem to find another book I want to read and start on that one...when I find the time when I'm not so sleepy I can actually understand what it is I'm reading. Unless it is a Frank Peretti book. Nothing stops me from completing Peretti's writings.

Today, as I was clearing out everything on the shelves (yes, Nicole, even the printer shelf), I came across something I found to be intriguing. There were 22.5 pieces of unused computer paper. One side had been printed on, but the other was blank, so I had folded them in half and saved them. Just in case I needed something to scribble something down on. I just couldn't bare to throw perfectly good paper in the trash. But wait...that wasn't the end of my hording. There were 15 South Side Salon note pads, (those I hand out to clients), with only a few of the pages used, and tucked away next to the printer. Some only had one bit of information on the top page. Now, why didn't I just use the others until the pages were all used up? Someone else will have to answer that question. I don't have a clue.

Well, now you have seen inside my world just a little more. Let's hope it doesn't deteriorate too quickly. I may have to get rid of all my stuff before I want to. I can feel it happening already. Time to downsize! De-junk, and finish what I start, for cryin' out loud!

Until the next episode, I remain in Mary's World...