I suppose we all have participated in some sort of verbal bullying, at some time or another, in the course of our lives. We may not have realized that was what we were doing. But if we noticed the look on the face of the one we were speaking to (or at), I'm pretty sure it was evident that our words hit their intended mark. Maybe we even felt a touch of satisfaction in the moment.
INSERT: The color of paint on the walls of my salon, is called Sticks and Stones. It's a really pretty color…one that gives a calm sense of being. Ironic, isn't it? One definition is calming, the other stormy, turbulent…
In my early 20's, words were used to lower my self-esteem and confidence in who I was to become. From early 1966, through mid 1970, I was in a very abusive relationship. Mentally and physically. Because of those unfair, unmerited words coupled with beatings, I began to believe a lie and spiraled downward into what seemed to be a very large black hole. An abyss, for the next 3 years.
Then God threw a roadblock in my path. He explained what had happened to me, through His Holy Scriptures, as I unintentionally flipped through it's pages. It was like a breath of fresh air in the middle of what felt like life-long suffering. I'll never forget that day. Tears streamed down my face as I petitioned God to, "Please don't leave me now." It was judgement day for my few years spent on this planet. That was truly a defining moment in my life. At 26 years of age, I was about to find freedom from the lies that controlled me.
As the years turned into many, I realized I was a work in progress. The destruction of self-esteem took some time to lift from me. God brings a renewed mind to those willing to find their path. We cannot wallow in self-pity, nor the order of our past experiences. To do that, we place ourselves in our mental prison, once again. God came to show us how to live…how to walk upon the injustice of this world. The pain and suffering that are meant to destroy us, He cleared a path, so that none would have to remain in that mental place of withdrawal. The path is narrow, and few find it, because it seems to us that we somehow deserve to be treated cruelly. We take the blows and act as if everything is okay. We lay our head upon our pillows and pray to sleep, unafraid. We've never felt the love we so desire and the results of verbal (& sometimes physical) abuse has us in chains.
Words…they are powerful!
The really sad part of this story, is not what I experienced as a young and oh so innocent, woman. It's the realization that hurtful words continue to swirl in our everyday lives. They're not just for those far from knowing the Truth, that only God can show us, but even we that have placed our lives in His hands…we, who talk about the freedom God gives…we, who are quick to instruct others…can destroy a life (or establish a life), by the words we choose.
I pray that God would daily open my eyes to understand and not be quick to judge the reasons of undeserving words that come my way. I pray He would help me to keep my own words silent, so as not to retaliate when pain hits my heart from words spoken. I, too, need a watchman over my heart…my mouth, for it can speak harshly.
INSERT: Is it possible to take hurtful words and build a better tomorrow on them? Sticks and Stones may break our bones…but words? They have the power to wound our heart. The essence of who we are. They can either destroy us, or cause us to learn deflection and protection, from the stupidity of the carelessness with which they were spoken. Doesn't wood (sticks), and rock (stones) a very strong house create? Just a thought...
Psalm 19:14 says it best:
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."
Choosing the peaceful color (the builder part of my soul) of Sticks and Stones, here you'll find me…in Mary's World.
