Lights, Camera, Action...through the years

What has been brought to mind this past week, is that small, consistent action, changes everything...

And, in most cases, will catapult one into the next big thing. We have everything we need, right inside of us, to change whatever it is we want to change about our life. There is only one enemy we must conquer. The lack of "want to"...

The rewards of taking action are at least, satisfying. Such as cleaning out a closet that needed your attention long ago, or finally getting to that "thing" you've been mulling over (in your head only), completed. At most, small beginnings become humbling recognition, as we stare our future in the face.

It's up to me what that will look like. What will I say "yes" to, next?

A few days before leaving the hair industry, another stylist that worked just down the hall from me, approached me with a "what now" inquiry. "What will you do after all these years in the hair industry?" All I could say to her was, "I'm not sure yet. We'll see." What she didn't know about me is just how many hats I've worn throughout my life that have built me into the person I've become, and the one her eyes were now questioning. A question with no real answer. Yet, here we are, taking a look back...

• Waitress (doesn't everyone begin there?)

Began my waitress journey at a little diner named, Obe and Ada's. They gave me a start at earning a bit of money to sustain my life, fresh out of high school. I was so young and naive back then. Man! Did life ever slap me in the face...

• Bank Teller (short lived...maybe 2 years)

I loved Security Bank & Trust. I considered it my first "real" job, even though waitressing is no walk in the park. The banks owner had noticed me at yet another restaurant located in downtown Miami, sitting so charmingly beneath a prominent hotel. He had asked me to come for an interview. I was in! And, like I said, I did love it. But there were challenges my young self faced with another employee who openly told me she "hated" me. I was stunned! And, that's another story...

• Salon Owner (starting in 1978)

My first place of salon ownership. My husband (of only 4 years) and I, decided to take our beloved 2 car garage and re-purpose it into a hair salon, with tanning available. Another learning experience was about to happen. Those years were good to us as we faced each challenge head on, determined to grow and prosper in the environment made possible by a few of my brothers and one sister. After a stint of living in Madison, TN. and working at Roger Miller's King of the Road hotel (the Roof Top Lounge), in Nashville, it was time for me to come home. Side note: I was a mess...

Having nothing to come home to, they combined their resources so I could attend Miami's Beauty College, in hopes of a brighter future for me. It took me four years to use my cosmetology license, but use it I did! All the way to 2025. With only a couple of sebaticals. More stories...lol

• Married with kids 😁 (best part of my life...busy, but best)

It took us a little over 7 years to make that happen, but what a blessing God gave us! Those were my best learning years. I would say, "poor kids", but they were (and still are) loved more than words could ever express properly. Soooooo many stories one could tell of those years.

• Home Education Teacher (simultaneous with being a salon owner...through grade 12)

We won't discuss those years, here, just know they were my manifesto. If anyone were to ask me what my biggest accomplishment in life was, I would have to say the years of academic training in life skills and the normal studies of any government ran school that transpired with many side events. Read on to understand...

• H.U.G.S. (Homeschoolers United Group Support...that I created and led)

Still have the manual I put together to create the group, and those who signed up to be a part of this parent focused group. We had monthly meetings for encouragement and needed schooling information, making sure we weren't breaking any state laws. During those beginning years of Home Education in our nation, we had decided to retain a lawyer for the "what-if" surprises by our government. Oh boy! Did he come in handy. Always keeping us up on breaking news. We did everything "by the book." Led, and trained, by parents. Not the government.

• Yearly Curriculum Fair Organizer and Speaker (with attendees coming from across many states)

This was the highlight of our year. Even the kids looked forward to the large gathering of curriculum developers, knowing they would get to see first hand what they were going to be using come the next physical school year. It was filled with education for the parents, with various rooms blocked off for particular training. With a question and answer period afterwards. Local news was at several of these events. I'm pretty sure they were wanting to let their viewers/listeners in on the newest thing happening in the area. We also had food catered so those coming could have nourishment while they learned. So much fun. I will always be grateful for that time in our lives.

• Monthly H.U.G.S. Newsletter Developer

Another side project for our families and group members. We knew our extended families would want to know what was happening, so invited the home educated students to submit articles about what they were learning in their most loved studies. We also had short stories created by our oldest daughter, and a forum for horse lovers to send in questions that would be answered by our youngest daughter. We didn't have internet during those years, like we do today, so everything was from their own experiences and studies that trained them how to learn.

• Library Developer for H.U.G.S. parents (the "how-to" of home education)

There came a request of finding particular information for our group of many that wasn't a part of our church. So, while visiting other (state wide) curriculum fairs, I would pick up various how-to books, soon creating a small library where parents could check out the books they needed, with info on how to purchase.

• Drama Team Coach (Images of Grace at Fellowship of Christians in Miami, OK...also performing twice at NEO's Fine Arts Center auditorium...such an exciting time! We made headlines in local paper. 😁)

A team of guys and gals I'll never forget! They were so faithful to come for practice meetings. Yeah...we did have one or two, possibly three, that had a challenge of making the meetings, but we still had tons of fun performing. Right, crew? So much work went into these. From the decision of what, to the orchestration of how.

• Pizza Restaurant Manager (short term...talk about HARD work!)

This one proved to be too much time needed from me. The owner's (family) were great. To be fair, my sister had warned me that it would consume me. I didn't listen. And then I found out exactly what she had meant. Again, many are the stories that came during my stay.

• Owner, Manager, Stylist of 3 Salons (2 in OK., 1 in NC

I think I loved choosing the ambiance for each salon just as much (maybe more) as the actual work of being a hair stylist and skin professional. It demanded long hours/rewarding hours. In retrospect, I may have worked just a bit too much. Moments lost with my girls...

• Co-Pastor at LifeGate Church for 7 years in Miami, Ok. (you didn't know that, am I right?)

This happened after our girls were grown and had flown the nest. They both had moved to NC. Our lives have never been slow moving. Our hands have found much to navigate in this life.

• Child Care for 4 years (my beautiful 1st grand baby, from 2 months old - 4 years, while working evenings and weekends at the salon)

Seems like ever pivot in my life has been valuable in the training of my soul and spirit. Each one different, while also being so important. This one was no different. One would probably not believe how many pictures sit in my phone and saved to iCloud. I cried when she was put in pre-school and Grams apron strings had to loosen. I missed her so much. She's turning into a beautiful young girl.

• Blogger (since 2010...https://www.marysworldmiami.blogspot.com)

The blog started as a suggestion of Lindsey. Our oldest daughter. She thought it would help me to write out my thoughts for any given day, now that she and her sister were miles away. She was right. It did help. Does help. Even though Dennis and I now live "just down the road" from them. Yep. We made the move to NC. in 2013.

I'm not saying I'm unique in any of this. Most of us fill our hours, our days, weeks, months, and years, with as much as the hours will allow. Only to fall exhausted into the bed at night and wake hitting the floor running before the sun rises the next day. It's common place to most. This is life. 

But change has happened for me that I didn't believe would happen, at least as quickly as it did. As the years sweep past us, when we're not watching, we change. Will the past define me? Will the knowledge I have gained over a lifetime, catapult me into something larger than life? Something the whole of has created within itself? Or will I ride off into the sunset, doing as little as possible? Stay tuned...

Starting small, consistently (if you can consider building a greenhouse, small...), here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Managing Stress...Is It Really Possible?

In a word...NO! It's impossible, so you might as well stop trying to. The day may start peaceful, or it may not. The week, the month, the year. What is your breaking point, and how do you "manage" it? Can you predict unforeseen events? A lazy co-worker? How about a "deadline" at work that comes out of nowhere? What about a sick or misbehaving child? Many work from home now, but what happens when you have to make a trip to school to pick up a sick child and you have a flat tire? These are stressful events that just pop up, and we can neither control nor manage them. Right? So the doctor says to get rid of some of the stress in your life. HOW DO YOU DO THAT??? Great question!

Sure, do your deep breathing. Did the stress magically disappear. I doubt it. We still have to deal with whatever caused the stress in the first place. And here is where the magic happens. We CAN manage our peace of mind. We can manage how we approach every situation, every day. How? Just by the way we acknowledge its existence. It can be seen as an opportunity, or it can be seen as an obstacle. We can approach the stressful situation with a calm, sound mind...OR we can approach it as just more stress in an already stressful day.

How do we manage our peace of mind, you ask? Perspective. That's how. Let's look at the simplest example. You woke up today. Do you know how many people didn't? Stay with me now... For those still breathing, what country did you wake up in? Not all countries have freedoms, much less opportunities to become a better wage earner. And what about war torn Israel and Palestine, and Ukraine? If you woke up in America, you won the lottery!

Not to be condescending, but did you wake up with a roof over your head? Not everyone did. Is there a car sitting in your drive? Many don't have their own transportation. Do you have a job? Many don't have. For various reasons, true. And we can speculate about that all day long, but it still doesn't change the fact that you DO have a job. Along with the possible stresses it brings with it. Or should we say, "along with the possible opportunities" it brings with it?

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that there is so much more going right for us today, than what's going wrong, but we've been taught to focus on what's going wrong. Am I right? Even before we rolled out of bed this morning, a lot of good was happening in our world and in our lives, and there's so much to be thankful for. So...wouldn't you agree that the main remedy for stress is gratitude? We all could us more gratitude. Right?

May I suggest a few things to help us get our gratitude on?

1) Spend a few minutes every morning of your day, every day, thinking about what you're thankful for...your spouse, your children, your parents, your house, the things you have in your life...your purpose, your job, your co-workers, your pets, your eyes, your lungs, your heart...anything you are thankful for. They are gifts that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. As the saying goes, that's why they are called the "present."

2) Be grateful for everything you have in your life. Focus on what you DO have, and not what you DON'T have. We had a paralyzed from the chest down, friend, a very long time ago. He's gone on to be with his Creator, now. But while living, after a horrible accident left him paralyzed, as we visited with him while he sat in his wheelchair, I asked him how he was managing the stress of a forever changed life. His response? "I focus on what I CAN do, not what I can't." Profound. Right?

3) I know you may be going through some really tough things right now. We do have those mountains that need climbing, every now and again. But let me challenge us all to, every time those stressful moments come up, go right back to gratitude and make our brains think about all the good things that are going right in that moment...not the bad, or like I like to say, the "not-so-good".

Many of the things we consider problems and major stressors are not really such a big deal. "Walk a mile in my shoes." I know. However, what I consider real stressors come in the form of losing a loved one or having something happen to a child, or spouse, or dearly loved one. Those are real stressful situations. When my sister was diagnosed with a rare condition that took way too long to diagnose (she went through a LOT of painful experiments), THAT was considered a bit stressful. PSP (Progressive Supranuclear Palsy) was the final and accurate diagnosis. Trapped inside a body that had no ability to control any part of itself. Her very intelligent, compassionate, and strong brain could command all day and all night, to no avail. All signals stopped at the base of her skull where the spinal cord relays the jobs to the body that need doing. Nothing could be passed on to her seriously beautiful body. It slowly consumed her, beginning at her feet, so she knew what was happening at all times, and she faced it head on. She relied on the things she COULD do (and her amazing husband), until she could no longer do them. She was a prisoner in the truest sense of the word, until she was returned to her forever home. I can only imagine the level of stress my brother-in-law endured as he watched and helped her along her journey. Kind of puts things into perspective, right?

I guess my point would be to not treat everyday stresses as if one our loved ones is dying or has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Don't do that to yourself every day. Put things in perspective. Most things are just not that big of a deal. There is a solution to every problem if we just breathe deep and look at the problem as an opportunity instead of a deal breaker. We have soooo much to be grateful for!

Wrapping this up, please indulge me with one more bit of encouragement. Health is our biggest asset. If we lose that, we pretty much have nothing. If our lungs are working properly, then we are winning! If our heart continues to beat as it was created to do, then we are winning! If our brain continues to feed us information and grows in knowledge with love and compassion at its center, we are winning! We don't have to live another day stressing if we choose not to. Let's choose to be thankful regardless of what this life throws our way. Plus...stress keeps us from experiencing real health. Right?

With all my love (most of the time 😉) for all of God's Creation...here you will find me, in Mary's World.

What Does Light Have to do with Darkness?

I can't believe it's been a full month since last sitting at my computer for anything other than official business. But, alas, it most certainly has been. Why? Because my mind has been entangled with the busy time of business. Constant social media posting I felt needed to be done, in order to launch a very important jewelry line, that gives rescued women of human trafficking a means to support themselves. With that, I've been focused.

But today, as I sat on our back porch enjoying the lighted Christmas Tree that is snuggled in a corner just behind a small swing, made even more beautiful by another (much smaller) lighted tree just in front of it, I began thinking about the forgiveness of wrongs that we have committed, or have been committed against us. The one and only...Jesus Christ of Bethlehem, Israel was the one who has freed us from those wrongs, if we can accept it.

The words, "You are forgiven," are much more than mere words. When we speak these words, they can free prisoners from guilt in an instant. When we accept this gift of forgiveness from the Father, we are compelled to become conduits of forgiveness for others who may have wronged us because we also were forgiven when we least deserved it.

I get it. I do. Why would we want to forgive a wrong that was intentional? I suppose we each have our own need to reason it out. For many years I could not, would not, forgive the one who altered my life. He didn't deserve it. I wished the very worst would come to him. The problem with that kind of thinking, with harboring it, nurturing it, is that it keeps a very dark presence inside of us that is trying to hide from the light that was instilled inside us while we were yet inside our mothers womb. It simply cannot be done. Light will always dispel the darkness and we must look at that dark spot, examine it, as we face it. It's always poking its head up...

How can one serve two masters? Matthew 6: 24 says it's not possible, because we nurture one and hate the other. I agree. I always hated that I felt so "evil" towards the man who took my innocence and continued to hold me captive until I bowed to his authority, while "serving" the One who rescued me from such a dark existence. It took many years to realize the one holding me captive was also controlled. Controlled by hate, insecurity, and hopelessness. His actions were coming from something so deeply imbedded inside him, his only release was to put them on another. I was that other. 

When God showed me that, I was able to forgive him, just as I had been forgiven. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to allow them back into your life. It just means that now, your heart can receive all the light that it was intended to have. I won't deceive you and say it was an easy road. It wasn't. We have to CHOOSE forgiveness. I am a free woman because I chose to forgive, even if it took me way longer than it should have. I continue to forgive when it's needed, for all wrongs committed against me, whether intentional, or accidental. I Corinthians 13:5 says (when speaking about love), it "...keeps no record of wrongs."

We have been given a power that would be impossible had it not been for God's sacrifice.

Receive and give it generously and often. Freedom is never easy, but is so very life giving! 

Leaning into what God has blessed me with, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Time for Reconciliation

One week in, and I thought I might collapse before my legs got me home as I continued to lengthen the journey of the day. It wasn't because of the lack of oxygen, or chest pain. It was because my upper legs and hips were taking a beating as my determined spirit commanded them to move forward. Again and again. Never give up. Never give up. Keep going. Keep going...

The winter months (and a lazy spirit) had gotten me to a weight that wasn't acceptable. The problem wasn't what I thought others thought as they looked my way. The problem was what I thought, every time I looked at the reflection of someone I didn't know. Had I really allowed myself to get to this point? Evidently I had. 

My sweet tooth yelled back at me. "It doesn't just magically appear, young lady!" So, me, and who I was created to be (physically AND mentally), jumped into the conversation for the hundredth time. "This is not good." "You DO want to be around for your grand-kiddos, right?" "Don't you miss how GOOD it felt to be the size your body loves being?" "This will take some time, but seriously, where will you be when that time has past?" And finally, "Let's get to work!"

Isn't it crazy what our mind tells us when we finally decide to make a change? Where food is concerned, everytime I walked past the pastry sitting on the counter (waiting for me and a cup of coffee), my thoughts were that I should get that all eaten before starting this wind down of sweets entering my mouth. UGH!!! So I did. 🙄

This staycation has been good. I feel I'm able to focus a bit better and hopefully get some of those cobwebs out of my stale, stagnant brain. I'm seriously tired of mindlessly walking through the motions of everyday life. I did make plans to shake things up a bit for this 6 day sabbatical, yet none have been accomplished, and I'm 4 days in. I have no remorse. 😂  

If you don't know by now, I'm a bit of a mysterious person. Sometimes I talk too much, wishing I could just fade into the background and be silent. Sometimes I don't talk hardly at all, wishing I had someone that would listen. But, for the most part, I'm a pretty verbal gal. I want my voice to be heard. Good or bad. Focused or indifferent. Happy or sad. Isn't that what most of humanity wants? To be heard? 

I've been told by my doctor, to please start walking. She wants this cholesterol level to drop and blood pressure to even out. So do I, so I walk. Granted, it took her about 3 months to get me moving, but it's not like I lead a motionless life. I still work at this ripe old age of 76. Sure, it's only 4 days a week, but still. That should account for something. Right? Turns out it doesn't amount to much at all. Even though I'm on my feet for the duration of those 4 days, I'm not really moving that much. Unless standing translates to movement, I may be in trouble. My arms are nice and strong and my legs are the epitome of strength, but the other less worked parts, wellllll....

Guess I could blame the bakery for making those tempting morsels in the first place. They are the cause of all the morbidity, not only in me, but in the masses. Right? Maybe we should sue them. Isn't that what we do nowadays? We couldn't possibly be responsible for this madness our bodies are rebelling with. If they hadn't tempted us, we'd never be in this situation. How dare they! And why should the bakery's profit from our sufferings? 

Sorry...had to show off my wokeness for a minute. 

My parents raised 10 kids to understand that their actions had consequences. Good, and not so good. We were made to understand that how others lived their lives, made no difference in how (or why) we reaped consequences. The outcome of our lives depended completely on how we faced and responded to the life we were given. And much of it came from the amount of control we had over ourselves. How much we demanded submission of our own body. Over its actions. Our consequences were in direct relation to what we chose to do in any given circumstance. 

So...here I go again, taking charge (once again) of my actions. I never should have relinquished, should never have pushed away, the complete understanding of the charge I have over my home. The shelter of my spirit. I should never have relinquished charge of all the countless ways my body was designed to aid me in the choices I made. My body is faithful. Until it can no longer be so because of my choices. We are partners. My body and I. It will give me good returns, if I but give it good nutrition and proper movement.

Working on forgiveness of such blatant irresponsibility, here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

Peripheral Vision Is Important, Too

It's been exactly one year since posting about the next leg of my journey. As I re-read that particular blog entry, I thought to myself, "Where did your vision go?" For many of my adult years, I've had a goal, and a vision on how to get there. Usually with a five year time line. Somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost the ability to see beyond the here, and the now. It's not a comfortable place to be when you're a planner.

Granted, there have been times in my life when that has rang true, then, as well as it does now. But those times never lasted as long as this one has. This one began almost 10 years ago, and seems to shadow me, as if it were my companion. We all know there is only one thing to do when such a dilemma presents itself. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Right? Do what we know to do, do it well, and don't deviate from it.

During our 2012-13 move, from Oklahoma to North Carolina, I remember saying how I felt like a cork just bobbing along in a vast amount of oceanic water, having no purpose, and no place in-particular to go. Having oversight for the many, brought to naught, blew some challenges my way. The transition of confidence to a big question mark began to take a toll on me, causing me to question the importance of my existence. Crazy, I know...

I've always considered myself a serious person, with little to no time for humor. Neither did I, nor do I, like idle chit-chat. If we must visit, let us visit about important things; deep, from the heart things. It's what stirs me. I feel no harm in being thus. I love deeply, sincerely, faithfully. That hasn't changed, it's been a constant. Just my long distance vision had become a bit obscure, which makes it hard to have a goal. That bothered me.

What I have come to realize, is that I actually need humor in my life. I need to laugh more. Like I did with my friend, Jani, and on occasion, my sister, Becky. Beck was more on the serious side (most Praters are/were), but entertained sarcasm, on occasion...which could (on occasion) be funny. Jani and I couldn't get together without entering a whole new world of laughter. We could just look at each other and begin laughing, that often turned into coughing fits. We could be serious, too, however. It's just that when we needed a good laugh, we knew who to seek out. It was a healthy balance. We all need healthy balances, right? 

All that changed when their journey ended here. Jani's earthly body lost its fight with a mean brain cancer, while Becky faced PSP that trapped her inside an unwilling body to respond to brain impulses. She went only a month after Jani. And I had just lost a brother to what began as prostrate cancer, and spread to various other organs in his body, only a few months earlier. I remember wondering how the world, and all its people, could continue on as if these 3 souls were never here. Had never graced the planet with their spirits. My world was a bit unsteady for awhile and though I never lost sight of who I was/am, it felt as if I was suddenly alone. I wasn't of course. The world just felt a bit empty. A bit like a torn tapestry that would never be the same. And even though there was still much beauty to be had and felt from family (blood connected AND extended family), a piece of me left with them. In retrospect, I think I stayed a bit too long in that mind set. I missed my confidants.

And then came our first grandchild! Life was about to take on new meaning, and with it came new purpose. And just as seasons of life come and go, so it seems that purpose does, as well. Change will always happen. How we navigate it, is what's important. I'll always believe Reagan came at the time she did, to set many of us free (at least me) from a bondage we (I) had put ourselves (okay...myself) in. Seeing life through the eyes of a child will ALWAYS break into a protected heart and mold it back to the soft heart God intended it to be. To say she has lifted our spirits, is an understatement. And then, Warner comes along and ices the cake. It's as if iron had sharpened iron long enough, and God sent a fresh wind to cool everything down. To be in the presence of a child is life-giving, and causes the world to seem just a bit more navigable.

So...how's my vision these days? About the same. For whatever reason, the only future I can see, is the ultimate, not the short-long term. And that's okay with me. Putting one foot in front of the other and doing well with the things given me to do, is good enough for me. The "plan" is to continue with my salon business as long as health (mental & physical) remain. I no longer feel like that cork in the water, bobbing along with no purpose. God has seemingly pulled me closer to home without the need to know where I'm going at all times. I've learned to relax more. A whole lot more. How I even functioned before, I'll never know. I'm pretty sure it's why I'm so skittish, and will scream so easily when surprised. Even when Dennis (my husband of almost 49 years) just walks down the hall without forewarning me. It's a miracle he's not knocked me out, because of a knee-jerk reaction. 🤣

To be clear...my vision remains true and on point for where I'm headed. It's just that my peripheral vision has become so vivid, I don't focus so much on the obvious. It's the beauty of what God has put in my path that has become my focus, for such a time as this. 

A closing thought: Usually, seasons dance together a bit, before taking on their own appearance and character. Parts of the former blends into the present, and then the present shows its true colors. Yet, there are times a season comes blowing in without warning, ready to stop us in our tracks and show itself real. Who you were is suddenly no longer that. You have quickly changed course. Still you. Different direction. That happened, folks, about 10 years ago. 

Waiting for the next wind of change, here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

Rainy Day Blessings

The pitter patter of rain drops, or the sound of blowing rain against the windowsill, both are welcoming sounds to this sometimes weary traveler.

What's to love about rainy days, you ask? Welllll...mainly the overcast skies bring a sense of calm to an otherwise anxious heart. Wouldn't you agree? One may feel rainy days are "yucky", and overcast skies "dreary", or "a thief of outdoor activity", but I welcome them. They seem to happen just at a time I could really use some "wrap your arms around me" comfort. 

Today is no different. The leftovers that come from a mission of decluttering (Spring, ya know), are in the throws of being donated, stored, or trashed, and while my study is looking inviting now that it's cleaned and organized once again, there are still items waiting for me to decide just what I will do with them. They wait patiently for me. Some left scattered in the kitchen, some (mainly from the shop) lay in the sunroom. Just waiting. I may, or may not get to it, because yesterday was a challenging day for me. Surprise happened in the salon that turned a 3 hour service into a 5.5 hour service. I had planned an early day away from the salon, but that didn't happen. What a gracious and patient client I had. I have always been a person that believes there is a solution to every problem, and I'm like a dog with a bone, finding that solution. Whether it be self-imposed, or simply situational, the issues should never be pushed to the back of one's mind to hide amongst the rest of life situations, never to be visited again. Sometimes, I am successful. Other times, not so much. Today, I'm questioning a lot of things.

We should not forget the situations one just stumbles into, innocently, and feels the gut punch which leaves us with the gnawing feeling the solution will be long in implementation. Those are the ones we need to take a hard look at. What actually happened? Why did it happen? All the while realizing that if things ran perfectly every day, we'd never face a challenge. We'd never know we can be an overcomer, solution experts, nor humble servants. 

Assumptions and speculations need to be stilled, so a heart can be calmed. That is what today has brought me. Oh how I love rainy days!!! Drizzly days, pouring-down-rain days, and even just overcast-sky days. These are the days my soul finds rest. I'm pretty sure God created those with me in mind. (And you, of course) He knew we'd need them...

God is in everything we see, feel, hear, smell, & taste. Even science (which God created), says the reason rainy days bring about a sense of calmness, is because the air pressure is low and filled with water vapors. This combination lowers oxygen levels in the air, which in turn causes our brain to feel tired. When it rains, negative ions are released and that leads to us feeling more relaxed and comfortable. He thought of everything. Am I right? 

Here's to rainy days and Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, & Sundays! Do-over days!!! Fresh start days!!! God is good.

With coffee in hand, I think I'm gonna take a beat. Maybe it's time for a trip to the mountains.

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

 

The "Good Old Days"???

The picture you're looking at, popped up in my Facebook newsfeed yesterday morning (during the full 15 seconds I was on there). Facebook has become pretty boring with all the adds and just crazy stuff one has to sift through to find if family, or friends, have posted something you'd like to see.

However, when I see something like this, it always brings to mind the prominent saying, "In the good old days...". Yes, housing may have been much less than today, along with everything humanity needed in order to live a decent life. But what we sometimes fail to think about is, the cost of living was not what it is today, either. The average income was MUCH less, along with the cost of housing.

I can remember an ice cream cone costing around $.10, when I was a kid, and bread was under a dollar a loaf. Gasoline was $.29 a gallon, and we thought that was high! (Compared to today, that would mean we would be paying $3.03 per gallon.)  I was still a kid in the 50's, so I have no idea what mom paid on her once a month trips to town for the staples needed to cook and clean. Salt, sugar, etc... Food was no problem because it had all been canned and stored up from the previous summers harvesting. I'll never forget our large apple field!

What all these postings fail to report is what the average income was for the working man/woman. Actually, the "normal" household was supported on only one income. That may come as a shock to some. Women haven't always worked in corporate America. The wife stayed home to care for the children and to see to everything that would create a "welcome home" atmosphere for the husband at days end, since he was the bread winner. It was an expected thing. The woman held the family together, while the man provided the income to do so. It was a different world...

Back to the cost of housing...

Just how long would it take to save enough money to purchase a home that cost $7,450, in the 1950's? A luxury two bedroom, 1 bath house that had a screened in porch? Well, the average income in 1955 actually rose from what it was the year before, coming in at a whopping $3,400 as the hourly wage increased from #1.00 an hour, to $1.15 per hour. Nice! Does this sound anything remotely as a good old day? How would you like to go back to that time, now that you know this?

Are we wishing for the good old days yet? Many say it was a simpler time. I don't know about you, but there was nothing simple about working from 4 AM to 5PM, tending cattle (this would take 3 pages explaining, by itself), working in the fields, shoveling cow manure, falling trees for logs to be hauled to the mill, then sawed for either selling, or used for fire starting, harvesting crops of vegetables, preparing them for winters food, nor all the various other duties that life on the farm demanded. Oh yeah. The pigs and chickens also had their own needs...

Maybe some people sat in rockers on blissful porches, with neighbors, as they shot the breeze and drank sweet tea. Sorry, I just don't ever remember that happening on the Prater's watch. We had to get to bed so we had the strength for the next day. I always loved school. I think it was, in part, because I got to sit and learn from books and play with school kids. We, okay I, never liked summer break. It meant all day work. Maybe that's why I don't like summer now? Hmmmm...never thought about that before. Nope. It's just because it's too dang hot, and there are just toooooo many bugs, spiders, snakes, scorpions. Varmits! And "WORK" is not a dirty word to me. It's what keeps me sane, keeps me feeling a bit useful, and maybe needed.

Anyone that has read any of my blogs probably knows I came from a rather large family. We worked the land to provide for ourselves. The home I grew up in had only 2 bedrooms, no indoor plumbing, no HVAC system. Just a bunch of boards nailed together for shelter, mostly. We did have an awesome pot-belly wood burning stove, in the living room, where, on any given winters night, you could find us warming our bed blankets and bricks that would be used to help keep the toes from freezing during the night. On occasion, we shared the space with new piglets that had been brought in out of the cold to prevent the possible accidental death by the big momma rolling over on them. Summer months, we depended on the big window fan to cool us down. Does anyone remember getting really close to the fan and letting it talk back to you as your voice flowed through its fast moving blades? That was our entertainment back then.

Side note: Mom also cooked the family's meals on a wood burning stove. We felt well taken care of. 😁

Even though there were 10 of us kids, I don't recall more than 6 living in that house. The older 4 were grown and married, or serving in the military, not long after I was born. In fact, the oldest of the clan had married and had her own daughter before I was born. The first time I remember meeting my older sister, was when I was 14 years old. She lived in Tennessee and I in Oklahoma. I think I need a sit down visit with the only known surviving brother I have. He could fill in some of those gaps for me, I'm sure. I do remember the bedrooms were small, just like the rest of the house, but with window fans. One was just large enough for 2 regular sized beds to be butted up together at the head of each, so 2 girls could sleep in one and 2 boys in the other. The older two sisters got the 2nd bedroom that was large enough for just one bed. I think possibly, there was also a small dresser in each bedroom, for storage. Mom and Dad slept on a small bed in the living room.

I get off track so easily, it seems. Too many memories wanting freedom. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that any day one is healthy, and able to provide food and shelter for their loved ones, should be considered a "good old day". It's all relevant, right? And every day has a down side, as well. Right?

Back in those days, consequences were expected to be given out immediately, or "as soon as your dad gets home." It was never something we took lightly, because, hey! Those peach tree limbs were very limber and wrapped around the legs with a force that felt like your skin just might catch fire. Now, before you start feeling sorry for us, our parents loved us. It was the method of discipline they were taught to keep their children from becoming a liability to society. We were trained to be independent, yet respectful of those who had authority over us. It's no easy task being a parent. My Dad used to say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." I never understood that, until I became and adult. 

To wrap this up, let me just say I think we throw out terms much too flippant..."The good old days" have, in my opinion, been over used, abused, and downright misinterpreted, kinda like the Bible. We just pull out segments we agree with and love to think about, and sweep the rest under the proverbial rug and then yearn for something that really wasn't that great. Unless of course, it was that great. Let's just let life interpret life and the Bible interpret the Bible, shall we? Still love me? 😉🤣 

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World, possibly sipping sweet tea on the screened in back porch. 

Things I Can Depend On

Every morning, right about 7:43, the sun peeks through my study window on its way upward. At least during this time of the year. I reach up to shutter the window so I can see without shielding my eyes. The sun is dependable. 

There are many things we take for granted as being dependable. Like, I will go to work tomorrow at precisely (fill in the blank). I will see my family this coming (fill in the blank). I will go to the grocery store tomorrow after lunch. I will go to the mountains next month when the leaves are beginning to show their beauty. Next summer, I will make plans to go with my family to the beach. So much of our lives, and what it will look like, we take for granted. We form habits and become "dependable". That's a good thing. Right? Sure it is. But my point is the things we take for granted, aren't necessarily dependable. Why do I say that? Because none of us knows what tomorrow holds for us. Actually, we don't REALLY know what the next hour holds for us. Sounds kinda gloomy, doesn't it? It's not intended to...

James 4:13-16 says:

“Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil” (NLT).

Even though this life is uncertain, and even though one might think once this life is done, it's done, there is a life that is eternal. Yours and mine. We were created to be eternal beings. Natural death entered because of not heeding the warning of God. Not because he was/is a demanding being. But because He wanted us to have a choice, not demanding we love him as he loved us. But because we choose to. And because of that, there needed to be a choice of right and wrong, of life and death, of fullness and emptiness. Choices. Thus, the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil was placed in the Garden of Eden, where Gods council (the Elohim) met. We were not to eat from that tree lest we live eternally in our choice. We get to choose our life's path. Which is an awesome gift in itself! Yes?

It's sad so many of us blame God for the evil in this world. When in fact it only comes from a persons choices. No one is excluded. Life continues after this earthly death, and since this life is so uncertain, doesn't it make sense to begin storing up for the next life? The life we step into after this earthly life, will depend on what we did with this one. Today, it appears I will be heading to work soon, a platform God has given to provide and to serve. 

Things I can depend on? The sun coming up, an eventual "death" (I do think I'll be around for a bit, though 😁), my family's love for me, and God's love for me. For the world He created. And those in it. 

As always (if God so chooses), here you will find me...in Mary's (loaned by God) World. That I (mostly) take for granted.

Gonna open the shutters now that the sun has moved on up. 😉😁

The Next Leg of My Journey

Three quarters of a century. 😳

I can remember when I thought 40 years was a long time to have lived, and now I am looking 75 in the face, in just a couple of weeks. Knowing that many don't want to (or won't) acknowledge their years, kind of throws me. I think I know the reasoning behind it, but really??? For real, why???

I take a lot of pleasure in knowing how far I have come, and the fact I am still waking up with strength and breath in my body. There is much of my childhood that I don't remember, and enough of it that I wouldn't want to go back there. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all the training I had as a child. All the strength I gained from the morals and high standards we were exposed to and required to hold. And because of it, I have never thought of work as something to hate, or dread. Monday's have never resonated any differently than the other days in the week. It was just another day to be thankful for. Another day to believe in what our hands were given to do as a substantial means of providing for ourselves. Work was, and is, a blessing from God to us. We could always lay our heads down on a pillow at night and be grateful for another day of work. Tired, yes. But also satisfied. So, it isn't because of this reality that I would never want to go back. I love that part of my upbringing. I believe in myself because of it. Most of the time, anyway. AND, I know how to survive in a world without it giving me anything I haven't worked for. Nor do I expect our government to pay for any of my decisions that cost money.

There was a turning point in my adult life, that I realized the years were slipping away. It was in my early to mid 40's. I will never forget walking past a mirror, and then stepping back to take another look. "Who in the world is that?" I asked. It was as if I had gone to bed the night before and woke up a completely different person. Physically. It was only a few weeks beyond that day that I put up a picture of my graduation from Miami Beauty College. Yep. That's the pic you are now looking at. That was me in 1974. THAT is who I was. Who I am. Those are the years that resonate with me the most. It took me many a year to come to grips with the changes that were happening. Those were the early years of finally realizing I was becoming who I was suppose to be. Not as a hair designer. Just as a human being, having been knitted together in my mother's womb to become someone that reflected the goodness of God. I have failed (miserably at times) in that, as a young (possibly overworked) mom. But I did have some winning moments, and grace was extended to me as I walked daily in blessings I didn't really deserve, but am so grateful for. And that's another story...

The Voyage of Life is a series of four paintings created by Thomas Cole in 1842, representing an allegory of the four stages of human life. The paintings are of Childhood, Youth, Manhood, and Old Age, depicting a voyager who travels in a boat on a river through the mid-19th-century American wilderness. Copies of these paintings hang on my entry wall. I have loved them ever since I came across them as a young homeschool educating mom. A few years before moving to North Carolina, our oldest daughter purchased them for me and I wasn't about to leave them behind. They speak to me.

So, if I were to point to the picture that best identifies the place I am in my personal journey, today, it would be the last of the four. That's not to say I think my life is over and I am on my last leg. Oh no. It's only just begun, in many ways. Okay. In SOME ways.

And now? Well, I'm not quite sure where I'm heading. I only know it is a different season in my life and where it will take me is still a bit obscure. But I'm ready to find out. Mostly...

When I know, you'll know. Until then, here I'll remain...in Mary's World.

The Winds of Change

Have you ever felt as if the winds of change have begun to blow? Change is inevitable. Yes? But, has there ever been a time when all your senses have been alerted to the inevitable? This is me. Now.

So much has changed in the last couple of years. Covid19 brought with it an undeniable NEED for change. We all (well, most of us), listened and followed protocol. But, that is not what I am talking about.

There are "seasons of life" that we all must walk through. Some train us. Some educate us. Some prepare us for challenges to come. Not many of us can see the future, or foretell it. But some of us CAN predict it, if our spiritual eyes and ears are open to understanding, and our common sense is well attended. We can "see where this is going" kinda thing. 

What we can't predict is how we will get there. We can plan for it. We can prepare for it. We just can't see how it will all play out. But at least we won't be surprised when it arrives. There may be a few surprises along the way, but hey! Last season prepared us for it! Right?

I'm pretty sure I have lost many of you, if not all. "Is she talking about herself, or just in general?" Or, "I think the winds have blown her off her rocker." 😉I, too, wonder that myself, on occasion. 😂

I used to worry some, about the fact that I was quickly coming upon the marker that my female siblings arrived at, and then left the planet. I have now officially passed the years any of them were able to live beyond. The winds that I love, when they visit me, have left me standing here. For the time, at least. And I know I am going to get some push-back from my girls for even talking about this. But it is a reality of life. We are born, we live, we die. This is not meant to be morbid, but real. And the sooner we face that fact, the sooner we can live our best lives while stationed here. I've finally accepted the fact that I am on God's timetable, and I'll go home when He says it's time. And no sooner...

When we face the fact that life is short, will it make a difference? Will we continue to live our lives focused on ourselves instead of those we love? Will we make different decisions, based not on how it makes us feel, but rather on how it makes them feel? Will we see each new day as an opportunity, or just another day to deal with difficulties? Will we begin to understand that humanity is broken, and possibly defeated, and begin to see with eyes of compassion instead of hatred?  

The Bible says there are 7 things that God hates, found in Proverbs 6:16-19

• Eyes that are haughty (arrogantly superior)
• A tongue that lies 
• Hands that shed the blood of innocent people
• Hearts which plot evil
• Feet that run to do evil things
• People who lie as witnesses
• One who causes strife in his or her family (ouch!)

Now that we know all this, will it better prepare us for seasonal changes? The winds that blow through the years we've been granted, will they whisper "change" to us?

Listening to the winds of change, here you'll find me...in Mary's World

Facing the Darkness: Heading Up...Volume 3

 

Even though I have not told everything I encountered during my walk on the dark side of life, I think perhaps I have shared enough. Until I feel a necessity, a God prod, those memories will be still. 

It's been almost 3 months since my last entry of Facing the Darkness. My last look back on the life that almost killed me. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. And, I am now anxious to share how God delivered me. How He called my name and set me in a place of real living. A place not free of trials, but a place of peace while walking through anything life places in my path. 

I will never forget the drive down Rush & Linda's (brother & sister-in-law) lane, coming "home" from a long day at Miami Beauty College. I was crying. So very lonely, still. I had asked God to guide me, to protect me, to please never leave me, to take charge of what was left of me. I had offered Him brokenness, and He was carefully picking up the pieces of what was left of me. But the journey I must take to get to the place He had pre-ordained for me, was not going to be easy. As I cried, driving down that lane filled with potholes, I simply said, "If only I could sit with my Father (meaning my dad). He would know what I should do." There was an immediate response to my spirit, that said, "I am your Father. You can talk to me anytime you want." There was an instant calm that came over me, even though I wasn't sure I would know any answers. I couldn't explain it any further than that. Still tears, yet instant calm. 

Only a few days after my return to Oklahoma, back in 1973, either my sister, Becky, or brother Ken, (maybe both), had asked me, "If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?" Since I had always dreamed of becoming a hair and skin care specialist, that was my reply. So, they contacted other brothers and sisters (I had a bunch), and they all agreed to secure me a place in the local beauty school. Even back then, it wasn't cheap! Yet, they were there for me. For their little wayward sister that had gotten her foot stuck. They knew I needed something to put my hands and mind to, to keep me from wandering back into the very dark abyss. I will also never, ever, forget the times my brother Ken, would find opportunity to stick a wad of bills in my hands, "to put gas in your car" or "in case you would like to go to lunch with someone".  Just remembering these times, has brought tears to my eyes, this morning. My heart is so full, because God put me in a family that loves unconditionally. I never felt I deserved them. I never felt deserving of what they selflessly gave up so I could stand up. I will be forever grateful. They grabbed me out of a pit so deep, so dark, and faced me toward the light of God's saving grace, His provision (with their hard earned dollars). That is how God chooses to provide. He uses His own family. We are His. We are His hands extended. And my family was willing...

I had just begun attending Commerce Community Church with a few of my family members, when a traveling minister came into town. After the meeting one evening, my sister-in-law and I were visiting with him. He asked us to come to where he would next be holding a tent-meeting revival. It was an old-time-sawdust-floor tent revival. We agreed to go on a Wednesday evening. This would turn out to be another event that has been burned/seared into my conscience. I was a new convert that was still wearing mini skirts, and looking much like a street walker. Linda was a lady that just loved looking nice. You would never catch her out and about without dangling earrings, red lipstick, hair properly fixed, and dressed to the nines, with matching heels.  

I was pretty bold/stupid/naive in those days, and being a new convert, I wanted to hear EVERYTHING, regardless of how I was dressed. So we marched our colorful little selves right up to the second row from the front. Sat in the middle of the row so we could easily hear the preacher speak and would have no problem seeing him. We were early. But then...the tent began to fill with its attendees. Little did we know we would be sitting in a pentecostal event where the women mostly wore long dresses, no makeup, and had long hair wrapped up in a braided bun on top of their heads. We felt as if we had walked into a black and white picture and a spot light had been turned on us, as we sat there, innocently, in vibrant living color. Linda immediately reached up to her dangling earrings, and with one smooth motion, pulled them gently off her lobes. Well, my ears were pierced, so that wasn't going to work for me, and I really didn't care. Still very young in Christendom. 😉

It was there that I met my forever husband-to-be. My eyes were on him the minute he pulled the tent curtain back, and walked to a seat directly in front of me. He was tall. He was blonde. His shoulders were broad, and his hands massive. I loved his hands! Every time he raised them in worship, I stared. I could feel the tender strength they embodied. He introduced himself to me 3 times that night. Every chance he got, he turned, reached out his hand for mine, and re-introduced himself. I think I must have confused the poor lad. Or he just wanted to hold my hand. Or look at all the color I brought to the room. I'm not sure. Maybe he just couldn't believe I was wearing a mini skirt to  a revival. 

The following week, the minister came to dinner at my brother and sister-in-laws house. One of the first things he said to me, as he sat down to eat, was "Do you remember the guy that sat in front of you at the meeting last week?" I said, "Yes. Dennis?" He confirmed that was his name (didn't have to, cause I remembered), and then said, "He asked me to set him up with you for a date." My heart may have jumped just a little. Dennis' church was having a pizza get together the following week where I agreed to meet up with him. I remember watching him chew on a drinking straw. I think I was really just taken with his lips. We've been together ever since that night, with only one little blurp along the way. It was right after his birthday, and I had given him a bracelet with his name engraved on the underneath side, along with a secret message. I had pooled my tips together to buy this very special gift for him. That moment in time lasted only a couple of weeks before he was back asking for me to go out with him again. Seems like several members of his church, along with another churches pastor, thought we would be a bad fit, and said he should break it off. That is a story I may talk about later. Or maybe not. Not sure...

My beautiful husband and I have been together for the better part of 47 years, now. I think we might make it. Like most marriages, we have had our tough places, our awesome sauce places, and our soul searching places. But we have had them ALL together!!! No partner should ever say, "I need some space," and then separate to "clear their head", or "see if we are meant to be together" kind of thing. That is ludicrous. How does one work things out when they are separated? Makes no sense. The only time I think one partner should leave the other, is when the marriage vows have been broken through mental, physical, or infidelity abuse. 

I will end this session with letting you know that I have no idea what a "honeymoon" is. Unless it is a description of choosing happiness, over sadness, and not just for the first month of being married. Our first date was July 3rd, 1974, and we married on December 14th, of that same year. Our first night of wedded bliss was in a local motel room, so we could move from our consecutive homes the next day. He had to go to work the following day, so a destination trip was out of the question. We had very little money, anyway. Dennis had sold $200-$300 in bonds, to pay for wedding decorations, pictures, and the wedding cake, and I had just graduated beauty school a few months before and was working for peanuts, as they say, then quit to move to Granby, MO. We would be living on his income for awhile. We had each other. That was enough.

 I will say this. We were both fairly new Christians. Ironically, we both gave our hearts over to God, in 1973, having never met until the following year. He came out of a world of drugs, and I from a world of loose living. What a pair! But God was moving us toward His purpose for our lives. Little by little.

I have no idea when the next entry will be, nor what it will be about. I'm just taking my cues from the Lord, who seems to have a mission, where my life's journey is concerned.  

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World