I've Been Called Worse

I've been called Moco (long story)

I've been called Mama

I've been called Dear Auntie

I've been called Amazon Woman

I've been called Miracle Worker

But I've never been called "Delicate Flower", until now...

As strong and resilient as I have been in the past, it seems I must come to terms with being something I've never been before.

Most people (I think), when doing a 180...when pivoting from the norm..usually have a solid, trust worthy plan in place as to what the next chapter of their lives will look like. They head into it with enthusiasm and with the necessary equipment (mental & otherwise), they foresee needing, in a strange new world they are about to become a part of. 

That just wasn't me...

Yes, I grew up on a farm. Strength and resilience form within, stemming from inside ones mental and physical being. From extreme sweltering heat in the summer and debilitating freezing cold in the winter we rose to the challenge and conquered. A farm girl is up for it. Our bodies adjust to the elements as they knock at the door.

Yes, I was outside at least 12 hours each day. With 30 minutes (to an hour) for lunch. Should the gods smile on us, allowing our strength to replenish for the remaining hours needed to take care of business.

Farm business. Outside business. Business that was necessary to keep the family alive. And we did it without complaint. At least no complaining where any adult could hear us. Okay. Where Dad could hear us. He had a knack for solving a complaining spirit. And, I'm glad he stayed the course...

As the years turned me into a young adult, I left the confines of my training grounds. I was no longer needed outside to work the fields, the log woods, or the milking barn. Dad had begun the process of selling everything because of his failing health, and I was the only child left at home, required to milk (by hand) 20 head of holsteins...before school.

It was at this time, I became an "inside" girl. 

For the most part, it agreed with me. Sure, there were jobs I seriously dreaded facing. Most of them, actually. I hated factory work. I loathed waitressing (at least in the beginning). I did love the connection made with humanity (mostly), and the thanks I received of doing my job well; tips were amazing. This type of job became my norm for many years, mainly because of the freedom it gave me to work as long as I wanted and money was great. Because I was a worker.

Trained by the best. My Dad. Work was not a dirty word. It was a gift given by our Maker.

I left the restaurant & lounge business to train in cosmetology, later becoming a salon owner and stylist. For 50 years. It was a good run.

I don't know when my body decided it was going to start a rebellion against outside work. But it did. Maybe because it had become accustomed to controlled air conditioning in the hot summer months, and wood burning heat in the winter, rarely having to deal with the outside elements. At least not for long periods of time. And now I was asking it to conform back to working in nature, once again, only now with aging resources. 

For whatever reason, what my body had left to give me, decided to build a fire pit inside my core ready to ignite the minute I stepped into the heat of the day (hoping to change my mind) I suppose. If I pushed on regardless, and chose to stay in the heat (working...or just standing), within 15 minutes my skin felt the burn from inside as well as from the outside. Blisters showing themselves proud.

Looking back, I do believe it was telling me that enough was enough. The years this amazing conglomeration of cells, veins, muscles, blood and bone, had given to the cause, now decided it was time for a little R&R. A time for working a little less in the natural heat of the sun, and more in the unnatural cool of an AC. 

The problem with that was when it came time to retire (ugh...I still have a hard time saying that word), my mind was not ready to say, "Okay. You've earned it." My mind was trained to continue even in the hard places. Even when the body is weary. Or hot. Or both.

But change did come.

It has now been a full year, and I think I have finally come to grips with my world looking vastly different. My mind, and my body, have finally come together (while negotiating), and agreed they weren't finished. It was time to live again. Time to reconnect. Time to push until something foundational begins to surface, with both working towards the same goal.

Maybe this "new world" isn't that strange at all. Maybe this unlikely pivot, isn't a time for giving up. Maybe it's time for the culmination of what 79 years on this planet has produced for someone previously known as "Wonder Woman" & "Miracle Worker".

I can work with "Delicate Flower". For a season 😉

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

P.S.

Isn't the next chapter of a book usually better than the one before? 

How Late Is Too Late?

I've had a few friends in my lifetime. One close friend for each season of life. Until now. 

Oh...don't get me wrong. I do have those I call friend. Some closer than others. And I do think should I truly need time with any of them, they would be here as soon as the on-going demands of life would allow. And one I could most likely empty my thoughts on and she would listen and respond with kindness purposefully tucked inside the wisdom she'd share. She may even get really serious, and say, "Mary...you've got it all wrong. You've honestly over-thought this one." Maybe. But, this friend leans more towards being compassionate, even if she would prefer setting me straight in no uncertain terms. The only thing is...she doesn't live in North Carolina.

We live far enough away from each other, there's never a time for "Can I come over for coffee," talks. Or, "What's up buttercup?" talks. There's no laughing until our sides hurt. No searching for random (mapped out & planned) garage sales to pilfer through. That really was never my thing, anyway. 

Even when my friend and I of years long past would visit those crazy garage sales I rarely enjoyed going through others throw-aways...especially when they were just thrown in boxes where one must dig through the excess. But it was always fun to be with my friend, watching as she found treasures while I drank my coffee and ate a donut we'd picked up before heading out towards the maze of sales...all while sitting inside her cozy van. She was the "crazy" one. Ready for any fun anyone might throw her way. Me? I was the more serious one. Fun stuff usually scared me more than made me laugh. We were the pair, for sure. Great memories...

But, those days are over. The years have come and gone. The time for sharing what's inside of me seems to have no outlet. It's totally my fault. I have chosen to be a recluse of sorts. I've chosen to stay close to home. Even when I do venture out to a grocery store, there are rarely plans to shop elsewhere while out and about. There is very little contact with those who walk the planet, and very little desire to. And, there-in lies the problem.

Here's what I am missing, according to Scripture, because of the choices I've made since my last close friend stepped into eternity:

• Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother (or sister) is born for a time of adversity." (Someone to help us through the rough times in life)

• Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Oh boy! Is that ever true!)

• John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." (They sacrifice their time, their own needs in the moment, to meet your needs of the moment.)

• Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." (mentally and emotionally)

• Proverbs 27:9 says, "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." (A place of peace, in place of chaos..a safe place)

• Proverbs 18:24 says, "...there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother." (Pretty sure this one is talking about our Lord and Saviour, not necessarily a human friend...but could be).

I've never been one to accept the status quo. To just sit back and fold my hands as if there is nothing more to do. Nothing more that can be done in the time left. I've held on to whatever my life was at the time, so hard, it became difficult to release. And now...if feels as if I've allowed my hands to open enough to drop everything. Everything they've ever known to sustain life. Yet, I know that can't be true.

Why am I struggling with this season of life? It's not that I am unappreciative of what I have, nor of what God's grace has extended to me. I do love my life as it is. It doesn't have a ton of commitments, but just enough to make me feel needed (kinda...at least not replaceable). I do love my small, but comfortable home. I do love my family and hope I never have to live far from them. I even love the non-essentials of life, like my garden and the greenhouse that offers a spike in endorphins every time I walk through the door. Yet...

The transition of working, to not working, has been harder than I thought it might be. During work, I saw many people; people with different personalities, people with opposing views, people who I enjoyed visiting with and those who I shared life with.  

And now...it just feels as if I'm missing something. 🤔

Tell me...do you believe friends are necessary to have a fulfilled life?

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World. 

#myjourneyamongtheunseen #retirementwoes #friendsforlife #peaksandvalleys #lifesheartbeat #worth

 

Lights, Camera, Action...through the years

What has been brought to mind this past week, is that small, consistent action, changes everything...

And, in most cases, will catapult one into the next big thing. We have everything we need, right inside of us, to change whatever it is we want to change about our life. There is only one enemy we must conquer. The lack of "want to"...

The rewards of taking action are at least, satisfying. Such as cleaning out a closet that needed your attention long ago, or finally getting to that "thing" you've been mulling over (in your head only), completed. At most, small beginnings become humbling recognition, as we stare our future in the face.

It's up to me what that will look like. What will I say "yes" to, next?

A few days before leaving the hair industry, another stylist that worked just down the hall from me, approached me with a "what now" inquiry. "What will you do after all these years in the hair industry?" All I could say to her was, "I'm not sure yet. We'll see." What she didn't know about me is just how many hats I've worn throughout my life that have built me into the person I've become, and the one her eyes were now questioning. A question with no real answer. Yet, here we are, taking a look back...

• Waitress (doesn't everyone begin there?)

Began my waitress journey at a little diner named, Obe and Ada's. They gave me a start at earning a bit of money to sustain my life, fresh out of high school. I was so young and naive back then. Man! Did life ever slap me in the face...

• Bank Teller (short lived...maybe 2 years)

I loved Security Bank & Trust. I considered it my first "real" job, even though waitressing is no walk in the park. The banks owner had noticed me at yet another restaurant located in downtown Miami, sitting so charmingly beneath a prominent hotel. He had asked me to come for an interview. I was in! And, like I said, I did love it. But there were challenges my young self faced with another employee who openly told me she "hated" me. I was stunned! And, that's another story...

• Salon Owner (starting in 1978)

My first place of salon ownership. My husband (of only 4 years) and I, decided to take our beloved 2 car garage and re-purpose it into a hair salon, with tanning available. Another learning experience was about to happen. Those years were good to us as we faced each challenge head on, determined to grow and prosper in the environment made possible by a few of my brothers and one sister. After a stint of living in Madison, TN. and working at Roger Miller's King of the Road hotel (the Roof Top Lounge), in Nashville, it was time for me to come home. Side note: I was a mess...

Having nothing to come home to, they combined their resources so I could attend Miami's Beauty College, in hopes of a brighter future for me. It took me four years to use my cosmetology license, but use it I did! All the way to 2025. With only a couple of sebaticals. More stories...lol

• Married with kids 😁 (best part of my life...busy, but best)

It took us a little over 7 years to make that happen, but what a blessing God gave us! Those were my best learning years. I would say, "poor kids", but they were (and still are) loved more than words could ever express properly. Soooooo many stories one could tell of those years.

• Home Education Teacher (simultaneous with being a salon owner...through grade 12)

We won't discuss those years, here, just know they were my manifesto. If anyone were to ask me what my biggest accomplishment in life was, I would have to say the years of academic training in life skills and the normal studies of any government ran school that transpired with many side events. Read on to understand...

• H.U.G.S. (Homeschoolers United Group Support...that I created and led)

Still have the manual I put together to create the group, and those who signed up to be a part of this parent focused group. We had monthly meetings for encouragement and needed schooling information, making sure we weren't breaking any state laws. During those beginning years of Home Education in our nation, we had decided to retain a lawyer for the "what-if" surprises by our government. Oh boy! Did he come in handy. Always keeping us up on breaking news. We did everything "by the book." Led, and trained, by parents. Not the government.

• Yearly Curriculum Fair Organizer and Speaker (with attendees coming from across many states)

This was the highlight of our year. Even the kids looked forward to the large gathering of curriculum developers, knowing they would get to see first hand what they were going to be using come the next physical school year. It was filled with education for the parents, with various rooms blocked off for particular training. With a question and answer period afterwards. Local news was at several of these events. I'm pretty sure they were wanting to let their viewers/listeners in on the newest thing happening in the area. We also had food catered so those coming could have nourishment while they learned. So much fun. I will always be grateful for that time in our lives.

• Monthly H.U.G.S. Newsletter Developer

Another side project for our families and group members. We knew our extended families would want to know what was happening, so invited the home educated students to submit articles about what they were learning in their most loved studies. We also had short stories created by our oldest daughter, and a forum for horse lovers to send in questions that would be answered by our youngest daughter. We didn't have internet during those years, like we do today, so everything was from their own experiences and studies that trained them how to learn.

• Library Developer for H.U.G.S. parents (the "how-to" of home education)

There came a request of finding particular information for our group of many that wasn't a part of our church. So, while visiting other (state wide) curriculum fairs, I would pick up various how-to books, soon creating a small library where parents could check out the books they needed, with info on how to purchase.

• Drama Team Coach (Images of Grace at Fellowship of Christians in Miami, OK...also performing twice at NEO's Fine Arts Center auditorium...such an exciting time! We made headlines in local paper. 😁)

A team of guys and gals I'll never forget! They were so faithful to come for practice meetings. Yeah...we did have one or two, possibly three, that had a challenge of making the meetings, but we still had tons of fun performing. Right, crew? So much work went into these. From the decision of what, to the orchestration of how.

• Pizza Restaurant Manager (short term...talk about HARD work!)

This one proved to be too much time needed from me. The owner's (family) were great. To be fair, my sister had warned me that it would consume me. I didn't listen. And then I found out exactly what she had meant. Again, many are the stories that came during my stay.

• Owner, Manager, Stylist of 3 Salons (2 in OK., 1 in NC

I think I loved choosing the ambiance for each salon just as much (maybe more) as the actual work of being a hair stylist and skin professional. It demanded long hours/rewarding hours. In retrospect, I may have worked just a bit too much. Moments lost with my girls...

• Co-Pastor at LifeGate Church for 7 years in Miami, Ok. (you didn't know that, am I right?)

This happened after our girls were grown and had flown the nest. They both had moved to NC. Our lives have never been slow moving. Our hands have found much to navigate in this life.

• Child Care for 4 years (my beautiful 1st grand baby, from 2 months old - 4 years, while working evenings and weekends at the salon)

Seems like ever pivot in my life has been valuable in the training of my soul and spirit. Each one different, while also being so important. This one was no different. One would probably not believe how many pictures sit in my phone and saved to iCloud. I cried when she was put in pre-school and Grams apron strings had to loosen. I missed her so much. She's turning into a beautiful young girl.

• Blogger (since 2010...https://www.marysworldmiami.blogspot.com)

The blog started as a suggestion of Lindsey. Our oldest daughter. She thought it would help me to write out my thoughts for any given day, now that she and her sister were miles away. She was right. It did help. Does help. Even though Dennis and I now live "just down the road" from them. Yep. We made the move to NC. in 2013.

I'm not saying I'm unique in any of this. Most of us fill our hours, our days, weeks, months, and years, with as much as the hours will allow. Only to fall exhausted into the bed at night and wake hitting the floor running before the sun rises the next day. It's common place to most. This is life. 

But change has happened for me that I didn't believe would happen, at least as quickly as it did. As the years sweep past us, when we're not watching, we change. Will the past define me? Will the knowledge I have gained over a lifetime, catapult me into something larger than life? Something the whole of has created within itself? Or will I ride off into the sunset, doing as little as possible? Stay tuned...

Starting small, consistently (if you can consider building a greenhouse, small...), here you will find me...in Mary's World.