Hanging on my fridge, for approximately 4 years now, is a writing by Max Lucado, one of my all time favorite Christian writers, that seems to hear the heartbeat of our God. As I was pouring my coffee this morning, I was thinking of my girls enjoying their Thanksgiving week in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Cape Hatterus in Frisco. What a beautiful beach! And they both are sharing this time together, with those they love. I love that.
A few things must be accomplished this a.m...but I have this nagging desire to give all those who need a hug from God, a copy of Mr. Lucado's insight. So, without further ado...
EACH DAY
by Max Lucado
It's quiet.
It's early. My coffee is hot.
The sky is still black.
The world is still asleep.
The day is coming.
In a few moments, the day will arrive.
It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose.
And so I choose.
I choose love...
No occasion justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.
I choose joy...
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...
The tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose peace...
I will live forgiven.
I will forgive so that I may live.
I choose patience...
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose kindness...
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness...
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.
I choose faithfulness...
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust.
My associates will not question my word.
My wife will not question my love.
And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.
I choose gentleness...
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.
I am a spiritual being...
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.
"...the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness."
~Galatians 5:22
May your day be blessed in Jesus.
Until that day when I meet Him face to face, you will find me here...in Mary's World.
This is a view into my personal world. Posts that are life experiences and ramblings of moments lived, and hope to live. Others are simple musings. Quiet, thoughtful reflections, contemplations, or meditations on any given subject my thoughts take me to. Here, you will find observations that provide a view into the mind of one M.J. Lewis...
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
To Adorn or Not to Adorn
"And let not your adornment be MERELY external...braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." I Peter 3: 3-4
In my study of the Scriptures this morning, this particular verse grabbed me because of so much misunderstanding of what the apostle Peter was trying to convey. Much of the time we grab a verse and say, "aha! I KNEW those people were sinning against God and all that is holy!" Please understand I am not set on proving anyone wrong in their faith of the Scriptures and their understanding of them. I love trying to unlock the mysteries of the Word of God. Some things just seem contradictory, yet I know that not to be true. We must "study to show ourselves approved, rightly dividing the Word of Truth." And I realize I am far from understanding all that is in there. But it is our guide to living and we must find a place of peace with the Spirit of God. So here is my take on this particular situation:
The apostle does not condemn true ornament, nor does he condemn the desire to appear in such a way as to secure the esteem of others. God does not condemn real ornament. The universe is full of it. The colors of the clouds and of the rainbow; the varied hues of flowers; the plumage of birds, and the covering of many of the animals of the forest; the green grass; the variety of hill and valley; the beauty of the human complexion, the ruddy cheek, and the sparkling eye, are all of the nature of ornament. They are something superadded to what would be merely useful, to make them appear healthy or more alive. Few or none of these things are absolutely necessary to the things to which they are attached. The eye could see without the various tints of beauty that are drawn upon it, and the lips and the cheeks could perform their functions without their beautiful tints, and the vegetable world could exist without the variegated colors that are painted on it; but God meant that this should be a beautiful world; that it should appear well; that there should be something more than mere utility. The true notion of ornament or adorning is that which will make any person or thing appear well, or beautiful, to others; and the apostle does not prohibit that which would have this effect in the wife. The best thing she was to seek, was not that which is merely external, but that which is internal, and which God regards as of so great a value. The outward adornment was not to be the main or principal thing. Her heart was not to be set on it. He does not say she should wholly neglect her personal appearance, for she has no more right to be offensive to her husband by neglecting her personal appearance, than by having an obsession with it.
Synopsis:
Those whose heart is set on God, will from the heart honor and adore Him above all else. I feel better about myself when I do not neglect the external as I build upon the truth of God's Word for my spirit life. I can accomplish so much more when I feel I am at my best outwardly as well as inwardly. My outward appearance does not make my heart glad, it adds to my heart. "First the natural, then the spiritual." How we care for the external shows pretty much what the internal is. God is a God of beauty and order. Don't be ashamed to make yourself look well. Sure there is a limit. But I think we all know what that limit is. He is faithful and will draw us back to the truth if we wander too far away. It's all a heart issue. Be beautiful today!!!
Until the next time, you will find me here...in Mary's World
In my study of the Scriptures this morning, this particular verse grabbed me because of so much misunderstanding of what the apostle Peter was trying to convey. Much of the time we grab a verse and say, "aha! I KNEW those people were sinning against God and all that is holy!" Please understand I am not set on proving anyone wrong in their faith of the Scriptures and their understanding of them. I love trying to unlock the mysteries of the Word of God. Some things just seem contradictory, yet I know that not to be true. We must "study to show ourselves approved, rightly dividing the Word of Truth." And I realize I am far from understanding all that is in there. But it is our guide to living and we must find a place of peace with the Spirit of God. So here is my take on this particular situation:
The apostle does not condemn true ornament, nor does he condemn the desire to appear in such a way as to secure the esteem of others. God does not condemn real ornament. The universe is full of it. The colors of the clouds and of the rainbow; the varied hues of flowers; the plumage of birds, and the covering of many of the animals of the forest; the green grass; the variety of hill and valley; the beauty of the human complexion, the ruddy cheek, and the sparkling eye, are all of the nature of ornament. They are something superadded to what would be merely useful, to make them appear healthy or more alive. Few or none of these things are absolutely necessary to the things to which they are attached. The eye could see without the various tints of beauty that are drawn upon it, and the lips and the cheeks could perform their functions without their beautiful tints, and the vegetable world could exist without the variegated colors that are painted on it; but God meant that this should be a beautiful world; that it should appear well; that there should be something more than mere utility. The true notion of ornament or adorning is that which will make any person or thing appear well, or beautiful, to others; and the apostle does not prohibit that which would have this effect in the wife. The best thing she was to seek, was not that which is merely external, but that which is internal, and which God regards as of so great a value. The outward adornment was not to be the main or principal thing. Her heart was not to be set on it. He does not say she should wholly neglect her personal appearance, for she has no more right to be offensive to her husband by neglecting her personal appearance, than by having an obsession with it.
Synopsis:
Those whose heart is set on God, will from the heart honor and adore Him above all else. I feel better about myself when I do not neglect the external as I build upon the truth of God's Word for my spirit life. I can accomplish so much more when I feel I am at my best outwardly as well as inwardly. My outward appearance does not make my heart glad, it adds to my heart. "First the natural, then the spiritual." How we care for the external shows pretty much what the internal is. God is a God of beauty and order. Don't be ashamed to make yourself look well. Sure there is a limit. But I think we all know what that limit is. He is faithful and will draw us back to the truth if we wander too far away. It's all a heart issue. Be beautiful today!!!
Until the next time, you will find me here...in Mary's World
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Isolation Chamber
For some time now...approximately 1and 1/2 years, give or take a few months, I have felt quite isolated. Oh yes, I have my wonderful friends and I still connect with clients on a daily basis. For the most part, my life continues to be busy, yet with plenty of "down" time...time for rest. Sometimes the resting part, even though appreciated, stresses me just a little. I've always been a worker. From the age of 9 years, most of what I remember is rising early for the demanding chores of farm life, to getting into bed at a decent hour for the rest needed to accomplish all that must be done the following day. Not much has changed since then, except for this very empty feeling I have on occasion.
My husband and I accepted pastoral positioning in March of 2006. With vision and great anticipation of the things to come, we put our hands to the task. Many unexpected things began to take place within the first year. One of our co-leaders, and very close friend, was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor and left us just a few weeks shy of a year after the diagnosis. My beautiful sister left this world only 25 days later, being released from the shell of a prison she was in. A rare disease, PSP, had attacked her body, causing the brain to short-circuit from the body. Knowing everything that was happening, yet not being able to move any part of her body, except the eyelid...on occasion. She could not even communicate her needs or desires. PSP robbed her of her life, causing a complete dependency upon love and the care-giving of her devoted husband.
The church that began as "Heart of Worship" went through many changes also. Using what we had until we got what we needed, was a challenge (to say the least) that we met, knowing God was our provider. The church grew fast, with an awesome nursery and kids church. We formed a prosperous women's group and developed leadership meetings...and as fast as it grew, it diminished. Short-sightedness and being new at what God had put in our hands, we made more than a few mistakes, causing a walk-out of our newly formed worship team and then a disturbance was felt in the midst of our women's group, to bring division there as well. Many trying things happened that surrounded the whole church body, that I won't expound on. But, all the while, God was teaching my husband and I about true leadership. Yet, slowly I began a "fall/slide" down from the top of the world. It was as if only a few believed in what we were doing. And now, four years later, only a faithful few remain.
We re-grouped and changed our name to "LifeGate Church", keeping the same by-laws and vision. We knew what we were called to in Miami. We were just having a hard time getting there. A new field takes much plowing. Ridding the field of danger to new plants. And it all was happening without us trying to make it happen. We prepared ourselves for service to those God brought our way, and left the results up to Him. So, here we are, trying to understand and find our way. Not sure where we are headed.
"Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10, has settled in my spirit of late. I ran across a newsletter from Os Hillman a few months back, and it spoke to me, so I copied it off. Once again, I ran across this same newsletter this a.m. So, I am really feeling this is God's response to my continual question, "What are we doing here, in the place we find ourselves to be?" May I share it with you?
"There is a time and place in our walk with God in which He sets us in a place of waiting. It is a place in which all past experiences are of no value. It is a time of such stillness that it can disturb the most faithful if we do not understand that He is the one who has brought us to this place for only a season. It is as if God has placed a wall around us. No new opportunities...simply inactivity. During these times, God is calling us aside to fashion something new in us. It is an isolation chamber designed to call us to deeper roots of prayer and faith. It is not a comfortable place, especially for a task-driven workplace believer. Our nature cries out, "You must do something," while God is saying, "Be still and know that I am God." You know the signs that you have been brought into this chamber when He has removed many things from your life and you can't seem to change anything. Most religious people live a very planned and orchestrated life where they know almost everything that will happen. But for people in whom God is performing a deeper work, He brings them into a time of quietness that seems almost eerie. They cannot say what God is doing. They just know that He is doing a work that cannot be explained to themselves or to others."
Hopefully the chamber will open soon...until then, you will find me in Mary's World.
My husband and I accepted pastoral positioning in March of 2006. With vision and great anticipation of the things to come, we put our hands to the task. Many unexpected things began to take place within the first year. One of our co-leaders, and very close friend, was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor and left us just a few weeks shy of a year after the diagnosis. My beautiful sister left this world only 25 days later, being released from the shell of a prison she was in. A rare disease, PSP, had attacked her body, causing the brain to short-circuit from the body. Knowing everything that was happening, yet not being able to move any part of her body, except the eyelid...on occasion. She could not even communicate her needs or desires. PSP robbed her of her life, causing a complete dependency upon love and the care-giving of her devoted husband.
The church that began as "Heart of Worship" went through many changes also. Using what we had until we got what we needed, was a challenge (to say the least) that we met, knowing God was our provider. The church grew fast, with an awesome nursery and kids church. We formed a prosperous women's group and developed leadership meetings...and as fast as it grew, it diminished. Short-sightedness and being new at what God had put in our hands, we made more than a few mistakes, causing a walk-out of our newly formed worship team and then a disturbance was felt in the midst of our women's group, to bring division there as well. Many trying things happened that surrounded the whole church body, that I won't expound on. But, all the while, God was teaching my husband and I about true leadership. Yet, slowly I began a "fall/slide" down from the top of the world. It was as if only a few believed in what we were doing. And now, four years later, only a faithful few remain.
We re-grouped and changed our name to "LifeGate Church", keeping the same by-laws and vision. We knew what we were called to in Miami. We were just having a hard time getting there. A new field takes much plowing. Ridding the field of danger to new plants. And it all was happening without us trying to make it happen. We prepared ourselves for service to those God brought our way, and left the results up to Him. So, here we are, trying to understand and find our way. Not sure where we are headed.
"Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10, has settled in my spirit of late. I ran across a newsletter from Os Hillman a few months back, and it spoke to me, so I copied it off. Once again, I ran across this same newsletter this a.m. So, I am really feeling this is God's response to my continual question, "What are we doing here, in the place we find ourselves to be?" May I share it with you?
"There is a time and place in our walk with God in which He sets us in a place of waiting. It is a place in which all past experiences are of no value. It is a time of such stillness that it can disturb the most faithful if we do not understand that He is the one who has brought us to this place for only a season. It is as if God has placed a wall around us. No new opportunities...simply inactivity. During these times, God is calling us aside to fashion something new in us. It is an isolation chamber designed to call us to deeper roots of prayer and faith. It is not a comfortable place, especially for a task-driven workplace believer. Our nature cries out, "You must do something," while God is saying, "Be still and know that I am God." You know the signs that you have been brought into this chamber when He has removed many things from your life and you can't seem to change anything. Most religious people live a very planned and orchestrated life where they know almost everything that will happen. But for people in whom God is performing a deeper work, He brings them into a time of quietness that seems almost eerie. They cannot say what God is doing. They just know that He is doing a work that cannot be explained to themselves or to others."
Hopefully the chamber will open soon...until then, you will find me in Mary's World.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Matters of the Heart
I rarely listen to music on my commute to work. I like the quiet sounds that surround me. The noise of my car's tires as they rotate on the asphalt, the gentle hum of the air conditioner in the warm months and the soft flow of warm air caressing my feet, as the heater gives of itself, in the cool months. On occasion I will insert a music CD, if I'm feeling especially lonely for my girls or if I need a pick-me-up spiritually. And then, there was a time some years ago, that I constantly had a teaching CD in the drive, filling my being with anything pertinent to life. But not so much now. Only occasionally...
A couple of days ago, as I was heading down Veteran's Boulevard, my heart was reaching out to God for my family, asking His protection of mind, body and soul...and for His presence to be not only understood, but accepted on a moment by moment basis. I began to sense His presence with me as I talked with Him. And this blog is a result of that meeting. This is what was impressed upon my heart...
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence, O God. Take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation, and renew a right spirit within me." It was a song we at Fellowship of Christians sang many a time, many a year ago. It was a Scripture song taken from Psalm 51:10-12. I never could sing the whole song without tears streaming down my face. It was as if I stood in His presence, humbled at the thought of never seeing His face or being in His presence. Why did this song attach itself to me, now, at this time in my life? I have been a Christian since 1973, and now, God is impressing this Scripture upon my heart. It hasn't left me since that day driving to work.
I decided I must know what could actually take His spirit from me. First, I read the whole Scripture reference and included verse 13, to get a better understanding of what He was saying to me. Here is how it reads in the NAS translation.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Thy presence, and do not take Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Thy ways, and sinners will be converted. " Psalm 51:10-13
Okay...there's the reason we need His Holy Spirit with us. But what must we do to cause His presence to leave us or for Him to refuse to sustain us with His spirit?
II Kings 13:23 says, "But the Lord was gracious to them and had compassion on them and turned to them because of His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and would not destroy them or cast them from His presence until now." Wow! There really IS a time God will say, "enough." Disobedience was found in the leadership of the camp, by being willing to do only partially, as God instructed. The king of Israel gave up before he should have...not completing the instructions. Oh my! Now, God would withdraw His covering, and give only partial victory.
II Kings 24:20 says, "For through the anger of the LORD this came about in Jerusalem and Judah until He cast them out from His presence. And Zedekiah rebelled against the king of Babylon." Zedekiah was self-serving. So he was denied the presence of God and if you are curious as to what happened to this young king, read II Kings 25. I know this all sounds extreme, but before Jesus paid the price of our wrongdoing, this is how people were dealt with. Now it's mainly "matters of the heart". Something much worse to have to contend with.
Lastly, Jeremiah 7:15 says, "And I will cast you out of My sight, as I have cast out all your brothers, all the off-spring of Ephraim." A few of the things I gleened from this passage (the whole chapter) is this:
1. Do not trust in deceptive words.
2. Practice fairness with others.
3. Do not make life more difficult for strangers, orphans or widows.
4. Serve God alone. Put nothing between you and Him.
5. Stealing, murder and commiting adultery, lieing, and giving to the kingdom of darkness, are all lumped together and are dealt with the same. Especially when we do any, or all, of these things then come and stand in the house of God (the church) and proclaim that we are delivered, then go back and continue with the same standards.
In this particular place, God had declared His love for them, but they refused it by not hearing His voice. "And I spoke to you, rising up early and speaking, but you did not hear, and I called you but you did not answer." Verse 15: "And I will cast you out of My sight, as I have cast out all your brothers, all the offspring of Ephraim." Going to verse 23..."But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way which I command you, that it may be well with you. Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their evil heart, and went backward and not forward."
True...He was speaking to a disobedient people back in the day. I do understand that. But is there a message here for us today? God has given us much here in the good ole U.S. of A. We are such a blessed nation, even though it is struggling at the present time. The reason? Could it be from disobedient leaders as stated in II Kings 13:23? And could we bring it closer to home? What about our own decisions? Are they obedient to God or are they self-serving? Is it possible we struggle in life because we have not made Christ a part of our decisions? Just a passing thought...
One thing I know. I cannot live without His Holy Spirit directing me. Do I make mistakes? Oh yes...certainly I do. But it's when I'm not listening. Except to my own selfish ambitions. But He always...always, gets me back on track, because my heart belongs to Him and it's desire is to fulfill all that He has placed me here to fulfill.
Create in me a clean heart, O God...never take your Holy Spirit from me. Don't allow me to sit too long in my own doings, Lord. Keep my eyes on the goal and off myself. Teach me to follow your voice only and not consider any other. I know You are for me and not against me. Your ways cause me to prosper in mind, body and spirit, like no other. My life here is short, but will be somewhere for eternity. I will always have an awareness of life for all eternity. Let it be in Your presence and those you have given me to love here, for this time. Make us always aware of your presence and acknowledge You as God of the Universe and all things created, and serve no other. Just as I enjoy hearing my own children's voices, I know You must also wait with anticipation to hear MY voice. Let me always hear your heartbeat as it sends it's message to all mankind that You have made a way for us to live a full life, if we will but hear your instructions and obey.
For the time being, I will be here...in Mary's World
A couple of days ago, as I was heading down Veteran's Boulevard, my heart was reaching out to God for my family, asking His protection of mind, body and soul...and for His presence to be not only understood, but accepted on a moment by moment basis. I began to sense His presence with me as I talked with Him. And this blog is a result of that meeting. This is what was impressed upon my heart...
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence, O God. Take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation, and renew a right spirit within me." It was a song we at Fellowship of Christians sang many a time, many a year ago. It was a Scripture song taken from Psalm 51:10-12. I never could sing the whole song without tears streaming down my face. It was as if I stood in His presence, humbled at the thought of never seeing His face or being in His presence. Why did this song attach itself to me, now, at this time in my life? I have been a Christian since 1973, and now, God is impressing this Scripture upon my heart. It hasn't left me since that day driving to work.
I decided I must know what could actually take His spirit from me. First, I read the whole Scripture reference and included verse 13, to get a better understanding of what He was saying to me. Here is how it reads in the NAS translation.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Thy presence, and do not take Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Thy ways, and sinners will be converted. " Psalm 51:10-13
Okay...there's the reason we need His Holy Spirit with us. But what must we do to cause His presence to leave us or for Him to refuse to sustain us with His spirit?
II Kings 13:23 says, "But the Lord was gracious to them and had compassion on them and turned to them because of His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and would not destroy them or cast them from His presence until now." Wow! There really IS a time God will say, "enough." Disobedience was found in the leadership of the camp, by being willing to do only partially, as God instructed. The king of Israel gave up before he should have...not completing the instructions. Oh my! Now, God would withdraw His covering, and give only partial victory.
II Kings 24:20 says, "For through the anger of the LORD this came about in Jerusalem and Judah until He cast them out from His presence. And Zedekiah rebelled against the king of Babylon." Zedekiah was self-serving. So he was denied the presence of God and if you are curious as to what happened to this young king, read II Kings 25. I know this all sounds extreme, but before Jesus paid the price of our wrongdoing, this is how people were dealt with. Now it's mainly "matters of the heart". Something much worse to have to contend with.
Lastly, Jeremiah 7:15 says, "And I will cast you out of My sight, as I have cast out all your brothers, all the off-spring of Ephraim." A few of the things I gleened from this passage (the whole chapter) is this:
1. Do not trust in deceptive words.
2. Practice fairness with others.
3. Do not make life more difficult for strangers, orphans or widows.
4. Serve God alone. Put nothing between you and Him.
5. Stealing, murder and commiting adultery, lieing, and giving to the kingdom of darkness, are all lumped together and are dealt with the same. Especially when we do any, or all, of these things then come and stand in the house of God (the church) and proclaim that we are delivered, then go back and continue with the same standards.
In this particular place, God had declared His love for them, but they refused it by not hearing His voice. "And I spoke to you, rising up early and speaking, but you did not hear, and I called you but you did not answer." Verse 15: "And I will cast you out of My sight, as I have cast out all your brothers, all the offspring of Ephraim." Going to verse 23..."But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way which I command you, that it may be well with you. Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their evil heart, and went backward and not forward."
True...He was speaking to a disobedient people back in the day. I do understand that. But is there a message here for us today? God has given us much here in the good ole U.S. of A. We are such a blessed nation, even though it is struggling at the present time. The reason? Could it be from disobedient leaders as stated in II Kings 13:23? And could we bring it closer to home? What about our own decisions? Are they obedient to God or are they self-serving? Is it possible we struggle in life because we have not made Christ a part of our decisions? Just a passing thought...
One thing I know. I cannot live without His Holy Spirit directing me. Do I make mistakes? Oh yes...certainly I do. But it's when I'm not listening. Except to my own selfish ambitions. But He always...always, gets me back on track, because my heart belongs to Him and it's desire is to fulfill all that He has placed me here to fulfill.
Create in me a clean heart, O God...never take your Holy Spirit from me. Don't allow me to sit too long in my own doings, Lord. Keep my eyes on the goal and off myself. Teach me to follow your voice only and not consider any other. I know You are for me and not against me. Your ways cause me to prosper in mind, body and spirit, like no other. My life here is short, but will be somewhere for eternity. I will always have an awareness of life for all eternity. Let it be in Your presence and those you have given me to love here, for this time. Make us always aware of your presence and acknowledge You as God of the Universe and all things created, and serve no other. Just as I enjoy hearing my own children's voices, I know You must also wait with anticipation to hear MY voice. Let me always hear your heartbeat as it sends it's message to all mankind that You have made a way for us to live a full life, if we will but hear your instructions and obey.
For the time being, I will be here...in Mary's World
Monday, September 6, 2010
It Was Good to See You
We had a lovely dinner with our youngest this afternoon...got to visit for a bit, came home and watched a movie on BluRay, then she was gone. As quick as she came...she went. It was a surprise to see her...didn't know she was in town. But it was a really nice surprise, none-the-less. I was shopping for groceries as she was sitting in the automotive office with her daddy, waiting for me to come back there to find her...all the way from North Carolina. Poof! She's here. Poof! She's gone. Oh, don't get me wrong! I am very thankful to have this opportunity. A chance to look at her, face to face. To look into those beautiful blue eyes and see her smile as she tells of the encounter on the plane coming from Raleigh to Memphis. Her visit just wasn't long enough. But...we'll take what we can get.
My late friend Jani, used to tell me about one of her sons coming home for visits. (Couldn't get any sympathy at all from her. Yes, I've complained about short visits before.) He stayed with her and Leroy, but she rarely saw him. As soon as he got up, he was off to see a friend or two and didn't come back until after bed-time. She shared how much it hurt, but had to realize she was "just Mom." So she would kiss him good-bye and make sure there was food there for him, should he want it. That might be kinda nice though. At least there would be the memory of Mom's home cooked meals. Gosh...it's been so long since I've been at home to actually cook a meal. So, maybe that wouldn't work here. Maybe there's nothing here to come to.
Well, whatever the reasons, I'll grab what I can and be grateful. Until the next visit, I'll remember the good-bye hug. "Hug me like you mean it, Mom." I was so sad to see her go, but didn't want her to know just how much. I suppose my emotions still rule me. I'll work on that. Maybe.
Here I'll wait...in Mary's World.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
918.542.6819
Must I call this number? Really? For the last three mornings, upon awaking, these call numbers have been running through my head. Why? Am I to call and see who answers? I've wanted to! But haven't...yet. They are the numbers that had been allotted to my bro-in-law and sister, as a phone connection during their 40 years on highway 10. Well, I don't actually remember the exact number of years they lived there, but I've been here for 35 years and I know they were there sometime before that. And I think they had the same number for all that time.
So, why are these numbers running a race through my mind? Good grief! Are they in any way tied to the 5:55, or the 4:44, or the 3:33, or the 2:22 or the 1:11, or the 10:10, or the11:11, or the 12:12, that seem to plague me???
Most of the time, it's the 5:55 that is brought to my attention. I have searched and searched to understand the possible meaning. Why do my eyes always look at a clock only during these time? The number five (5) signifies "grace". Three (3), "resurrection". So am I being told that grace has been or is being multiplied to me (five 3x's) or that grace has been or will be resurrected for me? The number 15 (5 x 3)signifies "rest". So then...am I to rest, knowing that grace has been resurrected for me? I think so! ONE problem solved! But now that I THINK I understand the message to me, what does my very much missed sister's phone number have to do with anything? Awwww...could it be God is telling me that His grace is sufficient for me, has been multiplied for me, where the loss of my sister is concerned? You know, there have been times I feared toppling over that elusive edge of reality to the point of wondering if I really am living in the "real world." I have come to grips with the possibility of being pacified and allowed myself to believe that if I indeed am living in a fantasy world, that at least it is my reality. And I like my reality! Most of the time. =}
Well...as with much of the time, when I sit down to write out my thoughts, solutions come that have been a mystery to me. I've always known that without the grace of God, I could not walk through this life and live in sanity. He has not given the spirit of fear, but of love, of power and of a sound mind. I've always known that God is the one I can depend on to get me through all the difficulties in life, the rough spots, the uncomfortable spots...some self-inflicted, some others-inflicted. There are many times I want to withdraw from society at large. And I do realize, I'm not the only one. I've heard one of my brother's say it way too many times. I don't like it. Isolation says we don't want to face another issue. But that is just what the enemy of our soul wants us to do. Put us out of the race. At the end of our days, we'll go home to be with the Father, but during our stay here...well, it would simply be without cause if we pulled back and never touched a life. Grace...God's grace will make sure we survive and thrive! Until the day comes for us to go home. I want to stand face to face with Him with excitement because of the lives He touched through this one vessel of His. I read a book one time by Patsy Clairmont, called "God Uses Cracked Pots". The point of the book was to let all who read it, know the difficulties of this life serve to allow God's light to show through the pain (the cracks). He brings us to victory, in spite of our weaknesses. It is evident that only by His grace, not by our strength, we come through with smiles on our faces. Real smiles. No phony baloney smiles.
Even though I do miss my Beck, miss her terribly some days...I can't help but believe she is still here with me. Traveling at the speed of light, going wherever she wants to go. And, no...I don't believe she's an Angel. I believe she is who God created her to be. Her spirit, who we knew through looking into her eyes, is with the Lord. Just as my wonderful friend, Jani, also is. They must be having a great time together. Laughing up a storm. I have a picture of them together from years ago when we all were part of Fellowship of Christians. Holding each others arms, laughing up a storm. What does that mean, anyway? Laughing up a storm? Beats me...I may have to run a search engine on that one. =} I think I may try to figure out a way to get that picture posted to this blog. Why does my mind ramble so much??? Would someone call 918.542.6819 and see who answers? Get back to me on that one, okay? =}
Until then...you'll find me in Mary's World.
So, why are these numbers running a race through my mind? Good grief! Are they in any way tied to the 5:55, or the 4:44, or the 3:33, or the 2:22 or the 1:11, or the 10:10, or the11:11, or the 12:12, that seem to plague me???
Most of the time, it's the 5:55 that is brought to my attention. I have searched and searched to understand the possible meaning. Why do my eyes always look at a clock only during these time? The number five (5) signifies "grace". Three (3), "resurrection". So am I being told that grace has been or is being multiplied to me (five 3x's) or that grace has been or will be resurrected for me? The number 15 (5 x 3)signifies "rest". So then...am I to rest, knowing that grace has been resurrected for me? I think so! ONE problem solved! But now that I THINK I understand the message to me, what does my very much missed sister's phone number have to do with anything? Awwww...could it be God is telling me that His grace is sufficient for me, has been multiplied for me, where the loss of my sister is concerned? You know, there have been times I feared toppling over that elusive edge of reality to the point of wondering if I really am living in the "real world." I have come to grips with the possibility of being pacified and allowed myself to believe that if I indeed am living in a fantasy world, that at least it is my reality. And I like my reality! Most of the time. =}
Well...as with much of the time, when I sit down to write out my thoughts, solutions come that have been a mystery to me. I've always known that without the grace of God, I could not walk through this life and live in sanity. He has not given the spirit of fear, but of love, of power and of a sound mind. I've always known that God is the one I can depend on to get me through all the difficulties in life, the rough spots, the uncomfortable spots...some self-inflicted, some others-inflicted. There are many times I want to withdraw from society at large. And I do realize, I'm not the only one. I've heard one of my brother's say it way too many times. I don't like it. Isolation says we don't want to face another issue. But that is just what the enemy of our soul wants us to do. Put us out of the race. At the end of our days, we'll go home to be with the Father, but during our stay here...well, it would simply be without cause if we pulled back and never touched a life. Grace...God's grace will make sure we survive and thrive! Until the day comes for us to go home. I want to stand face to face with Him with excitement because of the lives He touched through this one vessel of His. I read a book one time by Patsy Clairmont, called "God Uses Cracked Pots". The point of the book was to let all who read it, know the difficulties of this life serve to allow God's light to show through the pain (the cracks). He brings us to victory, in spite of our weaknesses. It is evident that only by His grace, not by our strength, we come through with smiles on our faces. Real smiles. No phony baloney smiles.
Even though I do miss my Beck, miss her terribly some days...I can't help but believe she is still here with me. Traveling at the speed of light, going wherever she wants to go. And, no...I don't believe she's an Angel. I believe she is who God created her to be. Her spirit, who we knew through looking into her eyes, is with the Lord. Just as my wonderful friend, Jani, also is. They must be having a great time together. Laughing up a storm. I have a picture of them together from years ago when we all were part of Fellowship of Christians. Holding each others arms, laughing up a storm. What does that mean, anyway? Laughing up a storm? Beats me...I may have to run a search engine on that one. =} I think I may try to figure out a way to get that picture posted to this blog. Why does my mind ramble so much??? Would someone call 918.542.6819 and see who answers? Get back to me on that one, okay? =}
Until then...you'll find me in Mary's World.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
How Does One Get from There to Here?
It was just a question I asked myself. They may be the wealthiest people in the four state area, just moving some things from here to there. Speculation rarely is correct...but I have a habit of making stories up in my head that I think fits whatever it is I'm looking at. Keeps life interesting for me. =} I was getting a few groceries in Wal-Mart one Fall evening and as I rounded an end cap, I noticed a man and a woman looking through some shelving as if they were keeping an eye on another lady. My husband came up about that time and I pointed out to him the two that were surely having an affair and didn't want the poor wife to see them together, so they were hiding behind some shelving until she moved on out of the area and they could go their merry, hopefully seperate ways. My husband laughed at me and informed me the two were Wal-Mart under-cover employees watching a woman they had seen put something in her purse from one of the shelves. Actually she had several things she had tucked away in her purse. They were just waiting on her to go through check out so they could "nab" her. I truly have an interesting mind...contrary to popular opinion.
So...back to the couple in the pick-up truck. My thoughts surrounded their lives as I assessed it in the few moments of waiting for the light to turn green. Did they come from poverty and just never had the opportunities so many others have? Or was this their choosing? If so, why??? What could have happened that would cause what I viewed as great need? But still...there was that pack of cigarettes. Ya know, I've seen people sitting at the intersection of 43 and I-44, dragging on a cigarette, a very nice, healthy dog sitting there with them and holding a sign that tells all that pass by them they need food, money or whatever you can give them. Where did they get that sign? And the markers to write on it? Once in a while I'll see people with just a scrap of cardboard and the words are written with what appears to be an ink pen. Can't hardly see the words. I don't have much of a hard time believing them. But these other people that look as if they've never missed a meal in their lives...nor their dog...and smoking up a storm, well, I'm bumfuzzeled. And you'll see them every week for about four, and then they switch locations with others. Well...I'm off track once again. I think sometimes I must think too much. =}
I didn't worry myself with the situation too long, because they had a ride to wherever they were going and it appeared they were good to go with a full pack (maybe it wasn't full...I don't really know) of cigarettes and one honkin big drink. I didn't have that nagging pull at my heart strings that I have had on occasion, so I let my mind go to the next situation. Which was just to sit quietly, appreciating all the favor I seem to walk in, as I drove home. And as soon as I pulled into our drive, I thanked the Lord for allowing me a safe trip home and giving us the opportunity to choose wisely, providing wisdom when we ask for it. Without His direction in my life, I'm pretty sure the freedom I so enjoy now, would not be mine.
I am, as always...in Mary's World. (God's sharing it with me) =}
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