We all have our reasons. Our excuses, as to why we are whatever way we are. But that's all they are. Excuses. We will try to make ourselves feel better about the fire that won't shut down inside us, by throwing the ball back to the accuser, and letting them know about their own less than acceptable mannerisms. Thus excusing ours. At least that's what we believe.
The wedge that grows between two people, that should never have been allowed to develop in the first place, is pounded deeper inside the one trying to reason with the other, as to how their words are making them feel so very much unloved; has now separated them further than ever.
"Retreat!" is throbbing inside the wounded heart once again, as it has done so many times over the years. Because that's all its ever known. Because retreating gives a bit of relief...and space to become even more angry. More bitter. And you've tired (over and over again) to reveal what is happening inside your heart, but there has been no place of acceptance, thus far. On rare occasions, maybe. But it never lasts.
We've all heard the saying that "what goes around, comes around," right? And, "You get what you give." Is that what's happening here? Are unhealed wounds to blame? How much of left over residue from past experiences are to blame? How much is unforgiveness of repeated injustices, to blame? How long is one expected to lick their wounds. Gross, right? RIGHT! Just typing those words made me gag!
I've often said, "One can convince another to jump off a bridge, if the tone of their voice is gentle." To me, the tone of our voice tells all. It says if the heart is pure, or deceitful. If it is good, or evil. If it selfless, or selfish. Words are just words that have little to no meaning, until they come from the intent of the deliverer. And we all know. We know the intent of the words by the sound they make when exiting the heart through the mouth. However, they can be misread. Often wounding unnecessarily. Often shredding open the scars of past experiences. Rarely holding close the heart, protecting at all cost. That come from a range of insecurities that reside inside the hearer, and sometimes within the deliverer of those words.
- "The tongue is a fire that can corrupt the whole body and set one's life on fire." ~James 3:5-6
- "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." ~Proverbs 18:21
- "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." ~Luke 6:45
- "Be not rash with your mouth." ~Ecclesiastes 5:2
- "Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise when he closes his lips." ~Proverbs 17:28
- "The tongue is unstable, evil, and full of poison." ~James 3:8-10
When harsh words find their release, my first instinct is to run. To hide. Yet, here you will always find me...in Mary's World.