Change...the Inevitable Condition

The slower days used to feel really good when the bulk of my days were filled with hurry up and wait. The slow days of fall & winter, then, was like a warm blanket wrapped snuggly around the body, so as to keep any cold from reaching too deeply. Now, those snuggly days have a tendency to get a bit long. Oh, I still welcome this season. Very much so! However, not quite as much as when I truly needed them, being the high-strung individual that I was. There was always something to do. Something that needed done. Something I loved doing, for the most part.

During those career days, there was nothing quite as calming as a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter's eve. Especially when I couldn't seem to sleep, eyes refusing to close as the mind reviewed the days/ weeks happenings, and slumber attached itself to others. Just not you. It's the one constant that helped this gals eyes to become heavy as sleep beckon this tired old body.

Now, my days seem to run into each other, causing me to question if it's Tuesday, or Wednesday. "Wait! Wasn't yesterday Wednesday?" I can't remember a time when this was a problem during the busiest era of life. In those days, knowledge of the upcoming day was pretty important. When life is filled with a to-do list, the brain trains itself to remember which day it is because the previous day had so many moving parts. When those parts cease to exist, the brain can get a bit lazy, a bit foggy, if allowed.

This certainly doesn't mean there aren't things to do in the winter of ones life. It simply means one begins to not care if those things get done at any specific time. The need to get things accomplished goes out the window, because no one is really counting on you to get them done. Except for the mundane necessities of life, of course. No money exchange is involved, so why press yourself? Or stress yourself? Press/stress...kinda the same thing.

Here's the rub: If we allow ourselves to get in this mind-frame...and stay there, it won't be long before the whole body begins to follow suit and shut down. The signals coming from the brain are followed by feelings of unimportance (nothing needed from the body). Of being invisible (nothing needed from the brain). Feelings of no longer being needed (nothing needed from anyone). Of simply being a tag on someones back that needs removed. And...If entertained for too long, I do think it possible for one to simply give up on living. To me, that's a deal breaker. Hopefully, it is to you, as well!

This is not meant to be a depressing entry. It is meant to be a wake-up call. A precautionary tale of sorts. If for no-one other than myself (thank you, former self).

Upon closing my business, I penciled in my day planner an entry 6 months out, that reads "Today is 6 months after closing Elements Salon. What am I doing with my life?" That was the journal entry of November 24th...just this past Monday. I'm so glad I felt the need to do that back then. Planning futuristically can be a good thing, especially when you know yourself and the tendencies that tap on your shoulder from time-to-time. Like falling into self-pity. Or finding your way through an unfamiliar forest. In the dark.

Why is being still so hard? Admittedly, it feels great not having so many demands to meet, yet the psychological impact is not to be taken lightly. It's not for the faint of heart, to be sure! Bringing ones mind into subjection is like playing a game of chess. I have no idea how to play chess. It just sounds very difficult.

However, today is a new day. The battles of the mind may pop up from time to time, but will be conquered as they appear. I will insist on this. I simply have too much to live for. To be grateful for. To reach for. Maybe that will look different than it has these past decades, but none-the-less important.

Still grateful for life's opportunities (and hot cocoa), here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Preparing the Garden

New beginnings

At the moment, this little piece of heaven looks a bit like a gravesite, but we're still in the beginning phase of creating. Something must be sacrificed in order for something else to live, right? This space used to have a WoodPlay playground for our granddaughters; all inclusive with swings, monkey bar, rock climbing wall, slide, and tower with windows and an outside seating area that was used as an ice cream shoppe. Lots of great memories. But the one constant in life is change. Sometimes painful change, but the girls rarely used it any longer (school & friends), so we reimagined it and...well, great things are coming. And we DID add another swing area, because we ALWAYS need to swing. The memories of years gone by will live on, but it's time for life to fill this space once again.

Many have asked me, "What's next for you?" This. This is what's next. This is the place of new beginnings. A place where a greenhouse will be erected. It's a place I never, in my wildest dreams ever, thought would be a part of my adult world. And, before anything can become reality, one must envision it, right? This particular dream had its beginnings in another's mind. Not mine. Our oldest daughter, always the visionary, believed it would be "just what the doctor ordered." The verdict is still out on that one, but we're about to see just how therapeutic this will be. She's rarely wrong, and I AM beginning to see; to dream, of what all it can be. I suppose one could say a seed has been planted. 😁

This I do know: My garden will be a place of peace and spiritual refreshment. It is my opinion that a garden should be a spiritual paradise. But, in order for it to be that, I must work at caring for what is put inside it; and like anything we put our hands to, we need encouragement. I do think I will create a plaque, and hang it in my greenhouse, that reads:

"The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever flowing spring." ~Isaiah 58:11

It's a promise of God's constant presence and provision.

Getting my hands dirty, here you will find me...in Mary's World. Stay tuned...

 

Change Within the White Space

Photo by Lindsey Lewis

Some days I actually get all the needed sleep, but most days I wake early. Really early. Like 3 AM early. Or 4 AM. Some days it's even in the 2 AM hour. Today it was a bit after 4, and my mind instantly formed a prayer for the day. This was the response it sent me: Change happens when in the white space. 

No, I haven't gone stir crazy just yet. Still have a working business for a few more weeks. Eight more, to be exact. My head is just swimming with navigation at the moment. To explain myself, so much is happening right now in my world. I won't bore you with details, but I will tell you that white space is a needed time for me. Time to set myself aside without obligation. It's where change actually begins. It's a time to settle, think, assess, and simply be present in life. It's a time to breathe easy. Our minds do need breaks from time to time, right? Mine does, at least. And for me, it's mostly a time to rest in God's presence, simply to wait for Him and the wisdom I feel He pours into my heart. It's what I love most about this particular season of change. Not only has Spring (new life) begun in the natural realm, but one might speculate that a type of Spring (new life) has come to the natural realm of my own life. Possibly the spiritual, as well. I'm here for what is staring me down.

Today, the nuggets of truth that God extended to me; verses I have known all my life, was brought to my attention. God knew I needed to revisit these today. 

• Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. ~Joshua 1:9 
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. ~Proverbs 3:5 
• I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. ~Psalm 32:8
• There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1
• Do not be anxious for anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~Philippians 4:6
• Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ~2 Corinthians 4:16
• The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out. ~Proverbs 18:15

Have you ever thought about the "coincidence" of everything being connected? Like when you see something in the natural realm of living life and simultaneously see God in it?  Even the written word will come to life when attended to. Just as we ourselves come to life when our life is attended to. Physically, and spiritually. 

Now, connect the spiritual with the natural. Consider the line spaces that a paragraph gives us. Just like the one created by starting this new paragraph. They give us "white space" intended for a moment to refocus...giving us time to consider what the topic is and what it's really about and what its importance is. They also enhance readability. Right? They are meant for focusing the reader...and possibly a thought change. A redirection. Just as God redirects us in the "white space". First the natural, then the spiritual, then comes understanding.

I'll leave you with why "white space" is important in the natural AND in the spiritual:   

1) It gives us clarity while reducing visual clutter. 

2) It creates a visual hierarch, of sorts, causing us to see the most important elements. 

3) It gives us balance. Who amongst us doesn't need that?!

Did you just connect the dots between the natural and the spiritual? What I'm saying is that everything is connected by God's design...if we but look. If we but see...

Paying attention, and hoping you find your white space, here you will find me...in Mary's World. #embracingthenewnormal #embracingchange #leaningintoGod #theforgottenway