Idle Time

Mouth open keeps eyes open 🤣

Having more than a few spare moments today, I thought it might be "fun" to see how much entrance I could gain into the mind of the guy I've been married to for 50 years, 7 months, 6 days, 17 hours, and I'm not exactly sure how many minutes. I highly doubt anyone cares. Even me. However, this type of questioning has been fun in the past, why not see how we've progressed? Right? 😁 

Keep in mind that while the human mind is constantly processing information (regardless of the male species saying they aren't "thinking anything" when asked what they are thinking), there are times when conscious thought takes a pause, allowing for a state of relative mental quietude. So...I'll be gentle with the questioning. LOL. Right...

Here's today's line of questioning:

Q1. Where do you see us in 5, 10, or 20 years?  A1. Probably dead (the kid has a point).

Q2. What are some things you would like to explore or try together in the future?  A2. Nothing (😳)

Q3. What are your biggest fears about our relationship?   A3. One of us dying and leaving the other behind (Agreed).

Q4. How can we improve our communication and intimacy?  A4. Just try. (he hit the nail on the head with this one)

Q5. What are some ways I can support your dreams and goals?  A5. Go on an Alaskan Cruise with me and take a train ride in Alaska...and/or go to Colorado one last time. (Okay. I pick Colorado...but it will need to be a road trip).

Q.6 What is a favorite memory of us together?  A.6 The beach trip to Southport Oak Island, when Chuck gave us the key to his beach house, back in 2019. What a fun trip, meeting the townsfolk, walking down streets lined with amazing shops...and that great coffee shop we found that had the best coffee we've tasted in a long while. Such good memories of that place. Remember the dive we went to on the beach that had a live band?(Yes, dear. I do remember and I totally agree! Thanks again, Chuck!) 

Q7. What do you think is the biggest strength of our relationship?  A.7 We have the same belief system, trust, and loyalty (and I would add perseverance).

Q8. Is there anything you feel like you can't talk to me about?  A8. No (maybe because he knows my response would likely be a very long one, with several rabbit trails because it spurs another thought)

Q9. How do you think I could be a better partner?   A9. Can't think of anything (right 😉😂)

Q10. What's something you've always wanted to know about me but haven't asked?   A10. I know everything about you. (hmmmm...🤔)

I closed the questioning on that point. Do we reallllyyy know everything about each other? Maybe. But I doubt it. It's probably best that way. Some things just need to be between us and God. Those unspeakable events of long ago, don't need rehashing, or dredged up for all to know.

Well, this was fun! Until next time, here you will find me...in Mary's World. 

#lifeissues #ourjourneytogether #memories #beachtrip2019 

 

The Shed Where Trotsy Lived

 

We only had about an acre of land that our humble home sat on. It was enough. Our back yard had an apple tree, a peach tree, and a persimmon tree that not only shared their beauty with us, but their fruit, as well! Most years there was an abundance. More than we could consume, so often times neighbors would stop in to gather bags of fruit for themselves. 

The Honeysuckle vines that lined our yard gave off an enticing fragrance that beckoned us to indulge in the sweet nectar that came from its blossoms. The picture you are seeing here, however, was, in the beginning, a small "play house" for our girls that later became a shed for a very important animal. It sat on the East side of our front yard (within viewing distance of my first ever business) and was never meant for the long-haul. We decorated it up with a window box positioned just beneath the fake window covering, appearing to be a protector of the window that wasn't really there. A functioning cover that could be opened and closed with ease, but we never did that, because, welllll....there was no window. I just liked the look. Clever. Right? 😁 And of course, it couldn't be complete without the old hanging shovel and pitchfork framing it. I loved this old building, once it had weathered and looked centuries old. The first (and last) building Dennis had put hard labor into building. I would tell him what was in my head, that I was certain we needed, and he would carry out my wishes to the best of his ability. That hasn't ceased over the 50 years of being married.

The old shed didn't get a lot of use, until our Meg received a gift that caused her heart to understand more fully what love really looked like. And that was the time we added an extension to the building that would be called "home" to this new found love. Must have been somewhere around 1995-96. Meg was only 11, possibly 12 years of age, at the time. The surprise gift came in the form of a horse. A very beautiful horse! More specifically, she was an Appaloosa horse that loved a good butt scratch So commanding of ones presence. And now we were faced with a challenge of where, in the small part of the world we called home, were we to put this beautiful creature. There was only one place to consider, really, and we knew it would have to be temporary at best.  Never in a million years would we expect something so...big, to take up space in our less than spacious front yard. 

Taken after Trotsy was finished with it...🤣

Beings this "pet" was a wee bit larger than the common dog, cat, hamster, or bird, she did present a dilemma. So...we asked father-in-law Denzil, and brother-in-law(s) Danny (was Jim there, too?), to help us build a fence around the East side of our yard where the shed (aka play house), stood. They added a lean-to that circled around to the back, so Trotsy would have a place to get in, out of the very cold winters we Oklahomans experienced. Rarely did a year go by that snow and ice didn't stop by for a visit and dump their contents onto us. Some years, we would wave the snow plow in, on its way into the city, just to dig our cars out from under the carport. Which, by-the-way, bent with the weight of the wet snow, as it packed itself onto its roof. Those were the years Dennis had to grab the trusty ladder and shovel some of that weight off. Nor was is uncommon for our yard to have a layer of ice spread from one end to the other during the winters chill as it blew through our part of the state. So, we did need a place to protect her from the cold as best we could. The lean-to was more of a surround-around ground-level porch, including a low step-up in which to keep her hay and grain dry. Dennis also made her a trough to eat from and we purchased a big galvanized container to water her. She was all set.

So many stories could be written about Meg's beautiful Trotsy, but not today. I only wanted to give my readers a tiny taste of what our lives were like in Oklahoma. It was our home for 39+ years. It was where God placed us, with purpose. I remember Dennis and I holding hands on the last day there, as he offered a prayer of thanksgiving for God's provision in the home he provided us to raise our treasures. Our girls. It was a bitter sweet moment, as more than a few tears were shed. But...the only constant in life is change, right? And God's love for His creation. That never changes either, and He promised me he would be wherever I found myself to be. We depended on Him then, and we depend on Him now, in the place we've called home for the last 11 years and 3 months. It's been said that home is where the heart is. And our girls, our heart, chose North Carolina when they became adults. So....

Leaning into memories of years gone by, here you will always find me...in Mary's World.

Remembering Krista

Today would have been Krista's 45th birthday of walking out the journey she was given, here on planet Earth. 

As many have said, "She was taken way too soon." We didn't expect this and it caught us all by total surprise. "How are we even talking about this?!!!" was our Lindsey's question when the call was made to let her and sister Meg know the struggle Krista was having. Laying in a hospital bed, only 3 short years ago, Dennis' niece had been diagnosed with Covid 19 complications. She didn't make it home...

But, I don't want to focus on how she left us, but on the memories she gave us while here. Krista, for the most part, seemed joyful. Laughter came easily to her. She loved being wherever you needed her to be. It seemed to make her the happiest when she was giving her time to anyone who could benefit from it.

I just sat down with Dennis a moment ago to ask what he remembered most about Krista. "She always made sure to come see me when I made trips back home to see everyone, and she always asked about the girls,"  he said. Our Lindsey & Meg & Krista had been childhood friends & cousins. Then, as life would have it, they all lived half-way across the country from each other, had married and had children of their own. It's easy to lose track of each other when the family grows and distance becomes an issue. But they never stopped loving each other. "Krista always asked how they were doing when I visited and said to let them know how much she loved them and that she continued to pray for them. I'll never forget her big smile," he continued. Me neither, dear husband. I will never forget that big smile of hers! 

This is a picture of a Momma and Daughter Duo that was frequently seen whenever one, or the other, went anywhere. Dena loved like most mothers do, but their connection was like a cord of 3 strands, difficult to unravel. (Ecclesiastes 4:12) Not that anyone would try. Their lives were solidly intertwined. But unlike those without hope, these two know they will once again be reunited at some point. It makes life doable for those left behind. I don't pretend to know the depth of heartache one experiences when a daughter (or son) no longer walks this earth. When their voice is only a memory inside us, or when we can only remember, (can we actually feel?) how they embraced us. With those that once grew inside us, it may be different than other family members. I don't know. 

Please understand I don't mean to leave daddy's out of this wrenching event that happens so often. It's just that I'm a mom, so can only speak (somewhat) to this as only a mother could. I saw the effects, the toll, it took on Krista's dad, after she went to her forever home. Probably not nearly as much as it truly did, and still does, to this day.

Even though Krista has no more birthday's here, she now has no bonds. Her spirit can be wherever she wants it to be in only a moment. Talk about a celebration!!! So we who are left here, we celebrate God allowing her into this family, for a time, to share in the light she brought with her. As we celebrate Krista's time here, we should also remember what she brought to our lives, thus allowing her light to join with our own. 

My heart is grieving today. For D.W.'s sister (my sis-in-law), even though I know she has not truly lost her daughter. She is simply a bit too far away for a one-on-one visit. For now...

Until We Meet Again, El-Yor

"The thought came up to bury him in his beloved Santa suit. Which sounded like a great idea until we thought about the reaction from the kids at the visitation." ~Larry Reece (family friend)

For the record, I would have agreed with this...had it not been for the kids reaction. 🤣🤣🤣 Probably not many (if any) little kids go to visit the deceased, but still, that would be one for the history books. 😂

And may I just say this picture has GOT TO BE the best Santa pic every taken?!!! LeRoy had a way with the kids...🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️

Ah...LeRoy and his sense of humor. He loved calling me "Murry", and to this day, I have no idea why. I took it as an endearment and not an inside joke, which was much more likely. If anyone reading this knows why, I'm open to listening.

Where does one begin when trying to gift the world with just a taste of what it meant to be LeRoy Anderson's friend, and not end up writing a book? I'm pretty sure memories will be following me all day, today, since he and his family are on my mind. But for this post, I'll share only a drop of water from the fountain of his life.

If laughter truly is the best medicine, when in LeRoy's presence, one could expect to experience a particular euphoric dopamine that brought so much joy. And laughter. So much laughter. When I read the FB entry from Larry Reece just recently, I doubled over in laughter as my thoughts went to our friend and his antics. He MUST have whispered that in Larry's ear. I couldn't find a stopping point, as I heard LeRoy saying, "See, Murry. I'll always be a part of your life." Just like in the days of traveling this life with him, LeRoy's spirit lives on. I suspect it will continue to invade the lives of all those he and Jani touched in their short time of visiting this planet.

Although he was known for his mischievous ways, he did have his serious moments. But even those could turn into hysterical laughter, when least expected. He and his wife, Jani, gave us enough laughter to last a lifetime. How I would love to sit with them again. Or take a road trip with them again, or share a meal with them, again, or canvas the neighborhood for garage sales, again. On a side note: Jani banned me from driving when looking for those yard sales. Something about me driving too fast. She didn't have time to use her laser eye-sight to see every possible treasure there might be in any given yard. It all looked like junk piles to me. But, Jani, she could spot expensive clothing from what seemed a mile away, and loved telling me what I had missed out on when I gave up the garage sale adventures. "Ooooo, JANI! I LOVE your dress!" "$.25 at yesterday's garage sale." And she always knew the best neighborhoods to find the most value. See what I mean?! Her family looked as if they'd stepped out of a magazine. She was quite the lady! But this post is about LeRoy. Or is it? I can't talk about one, without the other creeping in. They were, together, the best role models our community could ever have hoped for. As a bonus, they always had a heart for God and doing "the right thing". Those "bear hugs" of his weren't bad, either.

LeRoy (El-Yor, to me. Don't ask...), had this enchanting twinkle, in his eyes that just never seemed to go away. Something that was passed down to those crazy boys of his. You knew he was, or they were, up to something. Always up to something. You couldn't ask for better men, but you should always be prepared for the unexpected. The only time I remember not seeing mischievousness dance in LeRoy's eyes, was either when he was sharing the Word of God, or his soul had been pierced. If there had been injustice, you knew to tread softly in his presence. You've heard the saying that still waters run deep, right? This guy was one, that when quiet, you knew those waters were about to erupt. Respectfully, of course. Just don't look too long into those soulful eyes of his when trouble was rumbling. Somewhere along the way, he mellowed out. I think it was right around the time he lost his Jani when her time on this earth was done. Jani had always kept him in line, and when she was gone, a part of him left as well. Oh, he was still the wonderful man he was created to be, he just seemed a little deflated. And, that was understandable.

One last tiny glimpse...LeRoy had a Handy Man business after "retiring", that he was equally passionate about. Always fair. Always precise. His work had high standards that were always met with gifted hands and a determined spirit that seemed blessed by the giver of gifts. When I purchased the lot and building on North Main Street, in Miami, OK., I hired only the best to gut the entire building and set me up for success with a newly designed atmosphere that begged for quality services. It was so much fun, so much excitement, as I (and so many others) watched the transformation come to life from the design drawn on a sheet of paper that LeRoy followed to the max. There was only one recommendation he gave me about enlarging the Skin Care Room, that would make it even more beautiful than my own plan provided. I don't remember ever having to ask him to re-do anything. And that's something...

Here's to you, friend. See you in a bit...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World