Do We Ever Fully Let Go?

Yesterday, our oldest daughter, our amazing (in every sense of the word) Lindsey Erin, was over for a hair color retouch, with a few defining highlights thrown randomly (with distinct strategy) throughout that beautiful, and very curly mane of hers. I do love her curls...mainly because she knows how to care for them. She understands what North Carolinas humidity does to the porosity inside those lovely locks of hers, and prepares them for long-lasting beauty. 

But, it's a comment she made that has spurred this post. "I went by a road today where new asphalt was being laid, and it took me instantly back to Silver Dollar City," she said.

Back story (there always is one, right?). When our girls were little, we would visit Branson, MO., and it's theme park, Silver Dollar City. Built over a historical cave (the Marvel Cave), the park was known for hosting major festivals from Spring through the "An Old Time Christmas" festival. It was always the highlight of our trips. Most likely because of all the aromas that greeted us as we entered the park. The enticing smells of funnel cakes and Barbecue Brisket were smells we anticipated.

This place brought many giggles and big laughs, mostly because the girls loved tricking their momma on rides that took us through surprising falls and turns where water caused riders to come out looking like drowned kittens. Still can't believe how naive I was back in the day. Maybe it was because I trusted our little connivers a bit too much. "Hey, Mom. You and Dad can ride up front. That way you won't miss all the great things to see." Haha...very funny, you little stinkers. Verrryy funny. 🫣🙄🥴😂

Then there were the roller coaster rides that brought very high pitched screams as they plummeted riders to depths, twists and turns, without a moments notice. Well...if I'm being honest, there was a small amount of "notice" as the build up of anxiety increased with each beat of the heart. As the coaster slowly chugged its way to the top of the tracks where all one could see was sky...with no way back down to earths dirt where stability lived...where one could feel grounded again, without first falling at a high rate of speed on nothing but two tracks the rider cars hung to, trusting they would keep everything connected. One can see why I rarely gave over control of my life when visiting those monsters. Right? Unless, of course, my girls looked through me, all the way into my heart, with those beautiful puppy dog eyes. UGH! Kids! 😉❤️

But, the girls and their dad...they were in heaven. Even without Mom along for the rides they couldn't convince me to go on. Oh, I DO have stories about the rides at Silver Dollar City (and other themed parks...like Six Flags Over Texas). Great memories in the face of death by choice. And those usually had at least one Anderson family member present. Do the math...

So....about Lindsey's comment on smelling newly laid asphalt. It's a memory I suppose she'll always have nestled somewhere inside a cubicle in her brain where memories live forever. We all have that place, right? Didn't God preserve it for a reason? I think so. It serves us well through the years. 

Today, she was taken back to a time of innocence. A time of fun with her parents and sister, while visiting a very intriguing theme park that had soooo much to explore. With over 40 rides and attractions, it's been named the best theme park in America! And now I'm wanting to go for a visit, again. 😏

When we least expect it, a certain smell will bring to memory days gone by. Some are comforting, and some not so comforting. It's the "not-so-comforting" we don't like re-visiting. Yet, even those can make us stronger by helping us see just how far we've come. How much we have conquered. Then the happy ones pop up to say, "Remember all the fun times you had back then?" Memories to sooth us and cause us to remember love is forever.

Closing out this post, I would ask you: Doesn't it seem as if our brains are much like a computers mother board? Never lets go of a saved memory, right? 😉😂  That's probably why they call it the "Mother" board. We never let go. Most of the time we can bring to memory the things we are searching for, much like when we type in a question for our computer to answer something we have a need to know. Am I right? 

And then, there are days if feels as if our brain is out for lunch and can't be located. It closes for business, much like a computer will, all of a sudden, produce a blank and very black screen while we're in the middle of exploring. Or worse...having just finished a document not yet saved. 🤣

love and gumption...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Navigating the Unknown

You've heard it many times. So have I. "I think I'll just move to the mountains and live in a cave somewhere." Or similar utterances. Why do people find it appealing to be alone? So alone that only nature surrounds them?

Could it be because nature isn't demanding? Maybe because it's not as active/busy as where we now live? Less noise, less activity. Nature is peaceful (mostly) and beautiful (mostly). The one thing I think is more of a reason is because it never complains or requires us to do anything for it. It doesn't expect anything of us, other than respect for it.

Years ago, sometime mid year 2012, God spoke a living word to my heart. "Wherever you find yourself to be, there I am." In other words, I couldn't remove myself from one place to another, and be void of God. He has promised to never leave us. Never forsake his children. When we become parents, we understand this, yes? Well, we were preparing for the big move from Oklahoma to NC. during this time of asking God for direction. I love change. I do. I just wasn't so sure what our future was going to look like in NC., and I really like knowing what to expect when change happens. Yet, all I was sure of was this was a God thing and we would be okay. 

A new adventure was facing us down. The decision had been made and we were excited to be "just down the road" from our girls, but for the first time in my adult life, I had no clear vision of the next 5 years. I knew what steps we were suppose to take, but it was the hope of finding solid ground once those steps were taken, that had this visual brain of mine, swirling. I compared my thoughts to a fishing cork bobbing along in a vast ocean with no particular destination. I/we would be at the mercy of the unknown. At least for a time. That, I believe, is why God spoke to my soul. A reminder...to steady me.

I confess I tend to worry way too much, and our destination was halfway across the US of A. Much bigger than we were accustomed to, as well. I remember, when visiting our girls (while we were still residents of Oklahoma), they would take us out to eat. On one of the first outings, as we were leaving the eating establishment (I think it was Carolina Ale House), I looked out amongst the sea of cars in the parking lot. I wondered then how could so many people live in one area. How long would it take us to find our way around this huge place? But then again, we had Siri, who seemed to know everything. We just had to inquire of her. Now? Now I think the parking lot that held all those "sea of cars" isn't nearly as big as my initial evaluation of it. It's quite small, in fact, for all the eating establishments that one could choose from that it must serve.

We were already what most would call senior citizens, those many years ago, yet that wasn't what concerned me. I've always believed I could do anything I wanted, if I but tried. I just couldn't see exactly how this plan was going to work once we hit North Carolina. Yet, I trusted it would not only be good, it would be the beauty of what God had for us. The icing on the cake, so to speak. Still, having only the blueprint for the first step, I was working on balancing myself while waiting on instructions for the next. But I did have a deep seated peace. And joy. Excitement for this last season of our lives. Can one actually have joy while struggling with the "what ifs" of life? I would say most certainly. It's indescribable, really, the peace that surrounds the circumstances (are they really circumstances) of life...if one's heart is full of trust in the midst of life's issues. "Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble." ~Psalm 119:165

I've said all that, to say this: If it weren't for the joy God placed inside us, we would be like mice on a constantly moving wheel, running with no place to go. Maddening, right? Joy gives us strength for living. It allows us to walk in the sunshine even when the rain pours down. It gives us wings to fly when most of the world is walking. It gives us strength to persevere even under the worst circumstances. Joy keeps us steady while navigating a world filled with different personalities, different beliefs, different demands. Like God, joy doesn't evaporate when facing troubles, or, as in our case, pulling up deep roots for a replant in unknown soil.

Still smiling, while also loving the mountains of living (no need for a cave), here you will find me...in Mary's World.         

A Letter to My Dennis

Dear Husband:

December 14th, 1974 was a day etched in the journals of our history. How did we get to 50 years?! I do know we have lived all these years together, but looking back, it seems not that many.

A statement I hear from time to time is: "You're so lucky you have such a good husband . . ." If I've heard this once, I've heard it a million times. Have you ever heard how "lucky" YOU are for having such a great wife? Hmmmm...

Nooooo...

I think you will agree with me that luck has nothing to do with it.

There's nothing lucky about our marriage.

It's been a lot of hard work! Right? I really wish people would stop painting the picture of a happy marriage that doesn't come through hard work. Or a marriage that has succeeded because of only one person of the two people involved. One can't be coddled while the other sacrifices. Marriage is a unit where two become as one. Or, that's the goal, right? They always have each others back. There is no other person more important than our mate, and they need to know that.

Any couple who has a healthy, happy marriage that has lasted 10, 20, 30, or even 50 years didn't get there by luck. And ours hasn't always been happy OR healthy. Those first 10 years, or so, were pretty rocky, wouldn't you say? 😉🤣

We didn't just stay happily married from the get go.

We sacrificed.

We forgave.

We rebuilt trust that was broken.

We apologized.

We kept trying.

We got help when we felt stuck

    (Thanks, Denny & Becky...😉)

We kept dating, or at least took stabs at it occasionally. Life is busy when there's a family and money is scarce.

We got help when we were stuck. Yes, I know I've already said this, but I also know how weary you became with me, occasionally, and I do understand why...now.

    (Thanks again, and again, and again, Den & Beck...)

We made time for each other when we had come to the end of ourselves. We should have done better, but here we are. Plenty of time for each other now, wouldn't you say? 🤣🤣🤣❤️

We learned how to communicate. Boy, was THIS hard! Still, we've gotten so much better at it now that the work is almost finished. Maybe that was God's plan all along. Iron sharpening iron until nothing could harm us. Until realization hit that we always had a choice. We could withdraw, or we could work it out. We finally realized we are two completely separate people in the throws of becoming as one. Remember the days when we argued about nothing specific, but you would apologize and ask me to forgive you, even if it was an innocent thing? You never liked going to bed angry with me. Or me with you.

We cared more about our marriage than our pride. Pride was a tough one, for the both of us. Amazingly, our self-pride has now been replaced with admiration for each other, and pride BECAUSE of each other. Thanks for cheering me on during the darkest days of our marriage, especially when I needed it, and for taking the blows from my mouth that must have hurt deeply when I couldn't understand your position on any given matter.

No, there was nothing lucky about our marriage.

We worked.

We worked hard for one another.

The truth is—there is no happily ever after without the blood, the sweat, and the tears.

The truth is, you can't get to happy without going the hard way. Without self-sacrifice. Without selflessness. Without preferring the other above ourself. We are not perfect as we are. Life is a journey to be enjoyed as the kinks are worked out. Right?

I'm eternally grateful for you, DW. I'm grateful that your love for our God outweighed the messy moments. I'm grateful that He was the center of all we did, even when we weren't really listening so well. I'm grateful that God put together two people that was an unlikely match. I'm grateful He knows us better than we know ourselves, and is willing to stick by us in the great times and the growing times.

Our marriage is worth working for. Don't you agree? I wonder how many thought we would never stay together. I'm sure there was a lot of prayer going on for us. 🤣

Life has been a very intriguing, interestingly adventurous journey with you DW. And it keeps getting better and better. I can honestly say "I love you" now, with the true definition of what love is. No flippant "I love you" coming from me...

Do you remember the "Love Chapter" found in I Corinthians 13? It was read aloud as we left the wedding ceremony, some 50 YEARS AGO! It felt like a challenge to us at the time. We finally get it! Here's to our future!

Your One and Only,

MJ

P.S.

There is so much more I could say about the last 50 years. So much more of the life we have lived...always together, never apart. Possibly there will be more blog posts as the months & years go by. Posts that share some of the great things you have done, my dear husband, and continue to do, for our family. Happy 50 years with me! Sainthood may be yours...

#faithfullyyours, here....in Mary's World