December 14th, 1974 was a day etched in the journals of our history. How did we get to 50 years?! I do know we have lived all these years together, but looking back, it seems not that many.
A statement I hear from time to time is: "You're so lucky you have such a good husband . . ." If I've heard this once, I've heard it a million times. Have you ever heard how "lucky" YOU are for having such a great wife? Hmmmm...
Nooooo...
I think you will agree with me that luck has nothing to do with it.
There's nothing lucky about our marriage.
It's been a lot of hard work! Right? I really wish people would stop painting the picture of a happy marriage that doesn't come through hard work. Or a marriage that has succeeded because of only one person of the two people involved. One can't be coddled while the other sacrifices. Marriage is a unit where two become as one. Or, that's the goal, right? They always have each others back. There is no other person more important than our mate, and they need to know that.
Any couple who has a healthy, happy marriage that has lasted 10, 20, 30, or even 50 years didn't get there by luck. And ours hasn't always been happy OR healthy. Those first 10 years, or so, were pretty rocky, wouldn't you say? 😉🤣
We didn't just stay happily married from the get go.
We sacrificed.
We forgave.
We rebuilt trust that was broken.
We apologized.
We kept trying.
We got help when we felt stuck
(Thanks, Denny & Becky...😉)
We kept dating, or at least took stabs at it occasionally. Life is busy when there's a family and money is scarce.
We got help when we were stuck. Yes, I know I've already said this, but I also know how weary you became with me, occasionally, and I do understand why...now.
(Thanks again, and again, and again, Den & Beck...)
We made time for each other when we had come to the end of ourselves. We should have done better, but here we are. Plenty of time for each other now, wouldn't you say? 🤣🤣🤣❤️
We learned how to communicate. Boy, was THIS hard! Still, we've gotten so much better at it now that the work is almost finished. Maybe that was God's plan all along. Iron sharpening iron until nothing could harm us. Until realization hit that we always had a choice. We could withdraw, or we could work it out. We finally realized we are two completely separate people in the throws of becoming as one. Remember the days when we argued about nothing specific, but you would apologize and ask me to forgive you, even if it was an innocent thing? You never liked going to bed angry with me. Or me with you.
We cared more about our marriage than our pride. Pride was a tough one, for the both of us. Amazingly, our self-pride has now been replaced with admiration for each other, and pride BECAUSE of each other. Thanks for cheering me on during the darkest days of our marriage, especially when I needed it, and for taking the blows from my mouth that must have hurt deeply when I couldn't understand your position on any given matter.
No, there was nothing lucky about our marriage.
We worked.
We worked hard for one another.
The truth is—there is no happily ever after without the blood, the sweat, and the tears.
The truth is, you can't get to happy without going the hard way. Without self-sacrifice. Without selflessness. Without preferring the other above ourself. We are not perfect as we are. Life is a journey to be enjoyed as the kinks are worked out. Right?
I'm eternally grateful for you, DW. I'm grateful that your love for our God outweighed the messy moments. I'm grateful that He was the center of all we did, even when we weren't really listening so well. I'm grateful that God put together two people that was an unlikely match. I'm grateful He knows us better than we know ourselves, and is willing to stick by us in the great times and the growing times.
Our marriage is worth working for. Don't you agree? I wonder how many thought we would never stay together. I'm sure there was a lot of prayer going on for us. 🤣
Life has been a very intriguing, interestingly adventurous journey with you DW. And it keeps getting better and better. I can honestly say "I love you" now, with the true definition of what love is. No flippant "I love you" coming from me...
Do you remember the "Love Chapter" found in I Corinthians 13? It was read aloud as we left the wedding ceremony, some 50 YEARS AGO! It felt like a challenge to us at the time. We finally get it! Here's to our future!
Your One and Only,
MJ
P.S.
There is so much more I could say about the last 50 years. So much more of the life we have lived...always together, never apart. Possibly there will be more blog posts as the months & years go by. Posts that share some of the great things you have done, my dear husband, and continue to do, for our family. Happy 50 years with me! Sainthood may be yours...
#faithfullyyours, here....in Mary's World
Well said!! ❤️💕
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