When Fear Won't Release It's Grip

 

I know it's difficult living life when much of the time fear is our companion. I know its grip can be intense, at times. I know fear can chain you to what caused it in the first place. I also know we imprison ourselves by allowing it to rule areas of our lives, and once we've conquered it for the time at hand, doesn't mean we'll never face it again. So, how do we release ourselves of the locked room in our brain that constantly keeps us alert to what created the fear in the first place? Good question!

Some say. "Just trust God." Well...I DO trust God, but please don't ever say that to someone that has lived through hell and are possibly still there. I trust that God has me. I trust that He is my true Father. I trust that He cares about everything I go through. I trust that at the end of my journey, it will be to Him I return. I also trust this is my battle, that He equips me to win. He won His battle, so we could win ours. When we say "Just trust God" to someone struggling, has become an easy way out of helping someone in the middle of a battle (in my opinion). What if we said, "Share your struggles with me. I will prepare you to fight them, and find you a place of rest while you are contending with this." It's basically the same thing as saying trust God. Just a little more detailed about how. When the Israelite children came to the land God had promised them, He also told them there would be giants to fight, but that He had equipped them to do battle. While they were circling the wilderness (for 40 years!), He provided for them. But once they got to the Land of Promise, God expected them to do their own fighting in order to live their lives by whatever their hands could provide. He never left them, but equipped them to do their own work.

Granted, it seems at times He miraculously steps in and switches things up on our behalf. But, mostly (in my opinion), He wants US to overcome the "demons" of our past, present, & future. Just think about it for a minute. If you ran to your child with every little problem they faced, and said, "Don't worry baby, you can do whatever you want, because I will erase the problem. I will take care of this." What sort of person do you think they would grow to be? Certainly one without tools to overcome whatever came their way. But, if we walk through the problem WITH them...not FOR them, then they would learn how to overcome any challenge they faced. 

True. Some things are bigger than we are, and we need someone (like a strong dad, or mom, or close friend), to right the ship, on occasion. But if we have the example of how, but never have to fight our own battles, I fear the thing that has chained us up will only become more powerful.

God has given us the necessary blueprint for overcoming any challenge we face. We can't just ignore the problem and it will go away somehow. We must face whatever is causing a disruption in our lives.  "Stand your ground." "Do not be fearful." "I will be with you." We can win any battle that rages in our mind. And when we do, we will find that "Trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope never disappoints." ~Romans 5: 3 & 5 

So, yes...we may run to those who know a way through, but when we run to the Father of all, we not only find a way through, but we find an unrealized peace we didn't think we'd find. It's then that we understand that many of our battles come from a mess stored inside our brains of days gone by. We have to quieten that noise and agree to "do it afraid"! Be strong. Be brave, for it is the Lord your God that goes before you to do battle. ~II Chronicles 20:17

This one is for me...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

Why We Need to Be Seen, Or Do We?

Why do people need to be seen? Please understand this post is not about a select few that have, for most of their lives, felt unseen. Unheard. And because of experienced trauma, a deep inner cry for needing to be seen developed. That's a real thing folks. But, this post is about all of humanity and our seeming need to be seen. No exemptions. Did I just hear a "bah"?

Studies show that being seen is necessary to feel like we matter and promotes mental and emotional wellbeing, including a reduced risk for anxiety and depression. Social psychologists Morris Rosenburg and Claire McCullough wrote that feeling noticed is "the most elementary form of mattering." Most of us just need to matter. We can "survive" without being seen by those not directly connected to us, but when it comes to family & friends, we need to see in their eyes that they are grateful we are a part of their lives. If we don't, a dark cloud begins to form inside us, trying to convince us we are not important in this life. It's a dangerous place to entertain. It has caused too much sacrifice, in my opinion. And that's another story...

One needing to be seen is different than one seeking attention. Or is it? It is. The first hides themselves, the second, does many exploits to be seen. Do we really know ourselves? Do we know who God says we are? Does it matter who He says we are? Why do we need more than that as we walk out this journey? Is it the answer to a need, for others to see us and not just God? If we don't know God, how can we expect to really know ourselves? To know God, is to know ourselves. We are so blinded by what the world says we should be, we fail to see who God says we are. And still, it is so important that we help others see just how valuable they are, by letting them know we see them. Humanity has a need to feel that someone, anyone, actually cares they exist. We do live in a very competitive world that demands one to be better than the other. Or so we think. Or so we've been told. And it's one of the reasons I've always been in competition with only myself and no others. Wanting to be better than I was the day before. Am I successful. Some days. Not all days. I've decided we are all a work in progress. The important thing is to get up, dust ourselves off, and try again. It doesn't matter what others can do, what others are good at. We must look at what we've been given to do and hone that skill to the best of our ability. Never comparing ourselves to others and what they can do. 

By the same rule, we should always acknowledge to others that we see them, and what a great thing God did in creating them for the betterment of this world. All the while giving encouragement to continue in their endeavors. 

My measuring stick is to always line my human ways up with what God says about whatever it is I am thinking of. Then (hopefully) rightly dividing the Word of Truth. So, what does the Bible have to say about us needing to "be seen"? We know what psychologists say. Is their analogy right?

So, please know that needing to be seen and doing things to be seen, are on opposite sides of the spectrum.  It's one of the places where we confuse what God says about being seen. 

The 6th chapter of Matthew (new testament...NIV version is more understandable), gives us sight of what is good and what isn't when it comes to the need of being seen. However, Matthew is talking about doing acts of righteousness, in order to be seen and known for our "Godliness". So, it's not addressing the need to be seen as one who feels invisible. It is talking about the pharisaical people who want others to know just how righteous they are. These are people who are one way in public and another way at home with those they have committed to protect. And they love to tell the world the good they have done, even though we are directed to do good deeds in secret. "Be careful not to do charitable acts to be seen by men, or else you'll have no reward from your father in heaven." ~Matthew 6:1 (paraphrased) 

John 12: 42-43 lets us know that we love human praise more than praise from God. God's plan for us is often in conflict with the world's plan for us (1 John 2:15). To be popular, we must choose the world. In doing so, means God is not the Lord of our lives (Luke 9:23). The world is.

But what do we do with those who are in need of feeling seen. Those who feel invisible? Those who walk in the abyss most of the time. Those who don't understand just how much they are loved by their Creator? The one who wove them together in their mother's womb? Those who have bought into the worlds view of being "less than"? Even those who know how much God loves them can allow themselves to feel less than, simply because those closest to them don't seem to see them. They are continually interrupted when speaking, continually told things like "I've already told you about that," continually overlooked for something more interesting (so they think). Are we too sensitive, as we are told, by those who defend their actions?

We all have five senses. Right? Every human being has the sense of touch, sight, hearing, smell, and taste. Unless, of course one, or all have been removed by illness or accidents. My point is, it's a God given thing. He gave those five senses so we could understand the world around us, and those in it. It's how we decide what is good for us to be around, and what is not. Those senses trigger responses. Fight or flight. Embrace or distance from. Calm or unrest, etc. You get the picture.

Last point: When we feel "seen", we thrive in a world with challenges. When we feel misunderstood, not important enough to be listened to, or just "non-existent", our world will present challenges that will either cause us to hide (retreat) within ourselves, believing the lie, OR we will bow before the Father, and He will tell us who we really are. He will lift our heads to see beyond the abyss and will lift us up where we belong. That isn't a haughty statement. It's simply truth. We are His. And He is ours to lean on, to listen to, to follow, to learn from, to obey. That's a tough one for many. We don't want to "obey" ANYONE. Let alone someone we can't see. But...just like a little child that obey's a good parent, the rewards are many.

Please comment below with your opinion. I'm interested, and I will listen.

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

Resistance Prevents Action

Early morning thoughts rambling around inside my head...

Resistance is genetic. That negative force, that dark hostility to creativity, is embedded deep in our humanity, from way back inside the Garden of Eden, as the first couple toiled over whether they should listen to the enemy of their souls.

Also genetic (in my opinion), is our IQ and talent, handed down from generation to generation. Yet, many of us resist the labor, the solid work, that creativity demands. We resist, because we don't really believe in ourselves. Maybe that's because we don't realize where creativity comes from. BUT...once we commit to the task, our talented side kicks in and the rewards are astonishing.

Most of the time, creative genius arrives out of the blue, and we tend to think it comes from our own resources, when in fact, it comes from our unconscious mind where God whispers to us. Where his angles encourage us to fight the urge to resist, as it keeps us from using the gift of creativity. The flow of what God instilled inside us at the time of creation. Can you remember a thought that just popped into your head and you're not sure why it did? But you follow the thought and end up surprised at how it led you to a solution you had never considered as being possible.

I love story. Doesn't everyone? Story brings us into the realm the storyteller is describing. My biggest problem is with resistance. It keeps me from sitting down and writing. Or sketching...

"There's a secret that real writers know that wannabe writers don't, and the secret is this: It's not the writing part that's hard. What's hard is sitting down to write." ~Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

What keeps us from sitting down is Resistance...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

Road Rage & The Big Bad Wolf

Last nights road rage event still haunts my mind. I'm able to forget it while doing other things, but once I stop, or get in the car to go somewhere, it's up close and personal, once again. I allowed the world to know of it by posting on FaceBook, which I swore I'd never do. Too many posts about every little thing that happens, and it gets quite boring. To be honest...

I've been looking into the situation (a bit), today, as time allowed. And many of my FB friends have given excellent advice, as well! Still, I wanted to see what the law enforcement community recommended. 

Someone that goes by the name of Pam Shadel Fischer, and holds the title of Senior Director of External Engagement with the Governors Highway Safety Association, says, "It's like the Wild West out there, and it's just unacceptable." Law enforcement officers tell her "There are so many angry drivers, road rage aggressiveness, people going at incredibly high rates of speed and people being really unpleasant to each other,” she said. “It is very concerning.”

Not to belabor this, I'll just leave you with what little I have found.
Friends from FB: 

1) Keep doors locked and windows up. 
2) If you are headed home, make sure they aren't following you. If necessary, pull into a police station parking area, until they drive on by. Then later go the opposite direction, in case they are waiting on up the street. 
3) Carry a taser/flashlight with you, that can be used as either. You can buy a long one that is like a nightstick and if they try to grab it, it will zap them. It also has a very loud noise when it goes off.

And this from the internet...
How to respond if you’re being targeted: 
If you’re on a multilane road, move out of the angry driver’s way. You could turn off the road to get away, said Fremin, the retired Houston police captain, but you shouldn’t pull over. “If you pull over and stop, they’re going to pull over and stop,” he said. “That’s what they’re wanting you to do.” If you do end up in a scenario where someone approaches your car, lock the doors, lay on the horn and call 911. Don’t get out of the car, Fischer said.

You should also call 911 if you’re being followed. “Tell the dispatcher you have an aggressive road rage driver that’s following you, and the dispatcher is going to start quickly relaying that information” to an officer, Fremin said. Don’t hesitate to involve the authorities, he added. “It’s just a very dangerous issue we have happening right now,” and it’s best not to take any chances.

(copied and pasted from the Washington Post...an article written on April 19th of this year) If you’re being pursued by a rageful driver, resist engaging in any way. “You don’t want to respond to their aggression with your own aggression,” Fischer said. “Absolutely don’t make eye contact, and refrain from gesturing. If you show your frustration, it’s going to escalate even more.”

I hope you never have to experience this, but if you do, knowledge is power...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World
P.S. How does the Big Bad Wolf fit in here? I have no idea. It just sounded like a good attention getter...😂

An Amazing Thing About Christmas (and It's Abbreviated Form)

For sooooo many years I had an aversion to spelling the word "Christmas" as "Xmas." Making gift lists, I always had to write it as My Christmas List. I was tempted to write Xmas, because I'm always in a hurry. but I just couldn't...

What was really at the root of it, though? Well, I'm not 100% positive, but somehow there seemed to be a fear that I was disrespecting the One who rescued me from myself, something I couldn't do on my own. I would always honor him. Most of my life I have heard that the term "Xmas" was a weapon used in an alleged "war on Christmas" that came directly from the pits of hell, or the media, as some would say. Seriously. If you have never heard that phrase, just keep your ears open, because it's about to start being declared amongst us church folk, at least during this time of year. Innocently, of course! I was one of them for many years. But, the truth will set you free, I've heard. 😉😉 

I've always (more so now that I'm getting closer to the end of my journey here), searched for the truth in any given situation. And now, I've ran across some interesting tidbits of substituting Xmas for the word Christmas, and why some are offended by it and others aren't. My ears (eyes) perked up the first time I saw this. Maybe because it described me to a "t". 

It seems there is a particular belief system that gets offended when "Christ" is taken out of Christmas. Did you realize that 6 in 10 people with evangelical beliefs (according to a 2018 Christianity Today article), find the use of Xmas instead of Christmas to be offensive? And this had been ME! Always judging the intent of the heart.

Hope you're sitting down, because I'm about to help you rethink your position on Xmas, if you are one of those 6 in 10. "When we search for truth, we'll find it" (Matthew 7:7 paraphrased). Want to know the irony of all this? Xmas has been used by CHRISTIANS and the church for HUNDREDS of years, long before the term appeared in holiday advertisements and packaging. Yup. You read that right! There was never an intention to remove Christ from the holiday that celebrates him. Truth, you ask for? Well...the X stands for chi, the Greek letter that begins the word "Christ" or "Christos."

The first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity (Constantine), instructed his soldiers to display the letter on their shields before the battle of Milvian Bridge. The abbreviation also appeared in early Greek manuscripts of the New Testament. Hmmmmm...

The English version of the abbreviation dates back to at least 1021, when an Anglo-Saxon scribe shortened Christmas to "XPmas." (X and P indicate chi and rho, the first two Greek letters of Christ, and Constantine combined them to create the "XP" symbol for Jesus. Eventually, the letter P was dropped.)

Have you ever heard of, or maybe you are a parent, that calls your child by his/her initials instead of their birth name? Most of us shorten longer names, right? Our oldest daughter's daughter, has as her first name, Warner. That's the name she goes by, but when her momma writes about her, or sends a text, she most usually types out "W", instead of the whole name. The name of Christ is no different, when writing "Xmas". Remember that X stands for chi, the first letter of the word Christ.

R.C. Sproul, renowned theologian, makes note that when his parents took him home from the hospital as a newborn, they called him R.C. and in his words, "nobody seemed to be too scandalized by that." He noted that X as an abbreviation for Christ came into use in our culture with no intent to show disrespect for the Son of God. "There's a long and sacred history of the use of X to symbolize the name of Christ," he said, "and from its origin, it has meant no disrespect." 

But I get it. An "X" just seems to cross him out, leaving only a mess (mas) in its wake. I KNOW you've heard THAT! It's everywhere! But, may I suggest that it is US, and not a simple acronym, that takes Christ out of Christmas? We are the ones that create a mess when we intentionally leave the meaning of this most wonderful gift, in the shadows of making sure everyone has everything they ever wished for in what money can provide. Yes. It is the season of opening our hearts to give. But where we go wrong is in giving so much to ourselves and our loved ones, instead of those that Christ came for. The lost in spirit. The hungry in spirit. The needy in spirit. All that we see are results of a life lived for oneself that has no capacity to see others needs. That, I believe, is why as Christians we fear that we are REALLY "xing" out Christ, if we write out the word as Xmas.

Wrapping this up, could I also suggest the next time someone protests, "Let's put Christ back in Christmas," we can remind him or her that Christ has always been in Christmas. And he always will be. A simple Xmas can't delete him. We may not include him in the celebration that was designed for him, but he will always be "the reason for the season" as we say.

Always searching for truth, here you will find me...in Mary's World

P.S. Inspiration for this particular blog came from the book, 101 Amazing Things About Christmas

Scribbles

For as long as I can remember, I have been a "play by the rules" kind of gal. No "coloring outside the lines" either. Keep everything neat. Everything has a place, and everything in its place, has been my motto, so-to-speak.

Until I hit the 70's. Not the 1970's. MY 70's. Age does something to a person. It mellows them. I think we finally learn the things we have always held to, has now become less than important. Or at least less important as we once thought.

Our oldest grand-daughter has taught me many lessons in finding ways to loosen up. Case in point: I keep a planner on the desk in my study. It helps me to write goals and to-do's on a calendar. It keeps me somewhat organized, so it's kind of a big deal. And of course, the planner must be all sufficient, with neat lines that allow clearly written notes. Always written in pencil, just in case something needs adjusted. No messy scribbling through jotted down reminders.

Reagan has always loved "working" in my study/office. Maybe because she learned from a very young age that if someone needed to find me, all they had to do was to go to my office. It's the hub of my existence. One day she decided it was she who needed to utilize the "big chair" and Grams who should sit in one of the occasional chairs, just across from the big desk. She would be the boss for the day; the one who did the questioning and giving out orders. I liked this set-up, so we let it play out. She was the best boss I have ever come across in my lifetime. So patient and understanding. It was a good day. *wink *wink

As any prepared entrepreneur would do, she began writing down her own notes (scribbles) in the protected planner. My initial response was to go on high alert. "Hey, sweetie. That's Grams journal. You can't write in it. Let me get you something else to write on." But, anyone who knows our Reagan, knows it will take more than a suggestion to change her mind about whatever it is she has decided to be a good thing to do. So, I walk over to where she is "writing" with the intention of removing it, when I looked at her and saw this angelic face that was having such a good time being like Grams. I cringed at seeing all my spaces being occupied with nothing but scribbles. Then she looks at me and says, "What does that say, Grams?" My heart melted and all of a sudden those scribbles became the most important notes written in my book. "Well, this one here says, 'My Grams loves me so much! She is just the best Grams ever!" And this one here says, "I love my Grams more than anything, and almost as much as my Momma." She corrected me on that one. "No Grams. You read that wrong. It says I love my Momma more than ANYONE!" "Oh yes, little stinker, Grams read that wrong. Sorry. You're right. It DOES say you love your momma more than anyone."  This dialog went on for a good 15, or so, minutes. She would scribble some more and ask me again what it said. We had so much fun that day, that it became somewhat of a weekly, if not daily, ritual. This 2022 Planner will be one that I keep, if for nothing else but to look back at and remember the conversations we used to have while playing in the study/office. It will always be a favorite of mine. This always neat, always rule following Grams, allowed a child to teach her a thing or two about what really matters.

These scribbles in my Planner were made over 2 years ago, now. Our girl is growing up so fast and can now read her own writings. She doesn't need Grams' far fetched interpretations. Interpretations that made sense only to Grams (and possibly Reagan Paige), and lives only in this Grams' mind. We now play the "read my mind" game, in which she asks us to tell her what she's thinking. We rarely get it right, but when she guesses what Gramps, or myself, is thinking, she ALWAYS gets it right. "Reagan is the best girl I have ever known." "I love her so much." "I love her more than anything." "She is so smart!" This list goes on. She gets us...

I'll leave you with this thought: Even when your life feels as if it's nothing but a bunch of scribbles, don't underestimate the strong foundation being built by those scribbles. Barbara Johnson, Christian Author and Humorist, said it best: "Trial and triumph are what God uses to scribble all over the pages of our lives."

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World

I Listened to the Wind This Morning

It's been a full week now, since I became symptomatic with the Covid-19 virus. Which variant, only God knows. The bend in the road has finally appeared, and I am headed for full recovery. What's left of my immune system, showed up and did battle for me. I can't say it's been a hard week, as some would define hard, but it hasn't been the easiest, either. But that's not what I've come here to talk about.

I came to talk about the things a person can learn when they take the time to listen. Even the wind will tell its story, if we but listen. Did you know it can't be heard unless it rubs up against something? Of course you did. Sometimes it sounds like a gentle whisper as it brushes up against your hair, much like its doing this morning, causing me to long for more; so I sit...waiting as it captures my full attention. 

We should never underestimate the wind, however. Sometimes it can be worked into a frenzy and sound like a train coming down a track, causing fear to mount. But not this morning. This morning, it came to soothe me as it rustled the fallen leaves, causing them to rise and fall as the dance began. The sound of acorns, walnuts, & pecans, began their decent to the patio floor, making their own kind of music. It rang the chimes hanging from the pecan tree that shades the girls play set, and the cool breezes began to give me a chill, letting me know the heat from the last few months, is no more. Relief has finally come.

Time to snuggle in a warm robe. Time to quiet ourselves. To listen. To slow down. To live peacefully. To allow the noise to subside within us and allow our spirit to be refreshed. To breathe deep and exhale slowly. The wind can teach us, if we but listen.

Funny thing about the wind. It can't be seen, but we know it's there by the evidence our senses give us. We can feel the wind as it blows gently (or severely) over us. We can see the movement it causes in things around us. We can hear the brushing against things as it sweeps past. There's evidence of it being real. We just can't see it, because it's cloaked in faith. Faith that it's real. It's accessible. It's always present. So much like our God, and the Spirit within us. Just think on that for a minute, or more.

The message the wind brought to me today? "You did not choose me, but I chose you." ~John 15:16, and And what a great story that is! We usually take that Scripture to mean it's all about us. When in fact, it was all about Him. It's not because of our goodness, that He chose us. It's because of HIS goodness!

Now I don't want to leave. But, I must.

Leaving you today with this... The wind can roar, howl, scream, thunder, whisper, sigh, murmur, tinkle, and so much more. Listen to it and feel what you hear! The wind speaks your name when you least expect it.

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World