Why do people need to be seen? Please understand this post is not about a select few that have, for most of their lives, felt unseen. Unheard. And because of experienced trauma, a deep inner cry for needing to be seen developed. That's a real thing folks. But, this post is about all of humanity and our seeming need to be seen. No exemptions. Did I just hear a "bah"?
Studies show that being seen is necessary to feel like we matter and promotes mental and emotional wellbeing, including a reduced risk for anxiety and depression. Social psychologists Morris Rosenburg and Claire McCullough wrote that feeling noticed is "the most elementary form of mattering." Most of us just need to matter. We can "survive" without being seen by those not directly connected to us, but when it comes to family & friends, we need to see in their eyes that they are grateful we are a part of their lives. If we don't, a dark cloud begins to form inside us, trying to convince us we are not important in this life. It's a dangerous place to entertain. It has caused too much sacrifice, in my opinion. And that's another story...
One needing to be seen is different than one seeking attention. Or is it? It is. The first hides themselves, the second, does many exploits to be seen. Do we really know ourselves? Do we know who God says we are? Does it matter who He says we are? Why do we need more than that as we walk out this journey? Is it the answer to a need, for others to see us and not just God? If we don't know God, how can we expect to really know ourselves? To know God, is to know ourselves. We are so blinded by what the world says we should be, we fail to see who God says we are. And still, it is so important that we help others see just how valuable they are, by letting them know we see them. Humanity has a need to feel that someone, anyone, actually cares they exist. We do live in a very competitive world that demands one to be better than the other. Or so we think. Or so we've been told. And it's one of the reasons I've always been in competition with only myself and no others. Wanting to be better than I was the day before. Am I successful. Some days. Not all days. I've decided we are all a work in progress. The important thing is to get up, dust ourselves off, and try again. It doesn't matter what others can do, what others are good at. We must look at what we've been given to do and hone that skill to the best of our ability. Never comparing ourselves to others and what they can do.
By the same rule, we should always acknowledge to others that we see them, and what a great thing God did in creating them for the betterment of this world. All the while giving encouragement to continue in their endeavors.
My measuring stick is to always line my human ways up with what God says about whatever it is I am thinking of. Then (hopefully) rightly dividing the Word of Truth. So, what does the Bible have to say about us needing to "be seen"? We know what psychologists say. Is their analogy right?
So, please know that needing to be seen and doing things to be seen, are on opposite sides of the spectrum. It's one of the places where we confuse what God says about being seen.
The 6th chapter of Matthew (new testament...NIV version is more understandable), gives us sight of what is good and what isn't when it comes to the need of being seen. However, Matthew is talking about doing acts of righteousness, in order to be seen and known for our "Godliness". So, it's not addressing the need to be seen as one who feels invisible. It is talking about the pharisaical people who want others to know just how righteous they are. These are people who are one way in public and another way at home with those they have committed to protect. And they love to tell the world the good they have done, even though we are directed to do good deeds in secret. "Be careful not to do charitable acts to be seen by men, or else you'll have no reward from your father in heaven." ~Matthew 6:1 (paraphrased)
John 12: 42-43 lets us know that we love human praise more than praise from God. God's plan for us is often in conflict with the world's plan for us (1 John 2:15). To be popular, we must choose the world. In doing so, means God is not the Lord of our lives (Luke 9:23). The world is.
But what do we do with those who are in need of feeling seen. Those who feel invisible? Those who walk in the abyss most of the time. Those who don't understand just how much they are loved by their Creator? The one who wove them together in their mother's womb? Those who have bought into the worlds view of being "less than"? Even those who know how much God loves them can allow themselves to feel less than, simply because those closest to them don't seem to see them. They are continually interrupted when speaking, continually told things like "I've already told you about that," continually overlooked for something more interesting (so they think). Are we too sensitive, as we are told, by those who defend their actions?
We all have five senses. Right? Every human being has the sense of touch, sight, hearing, smell, and taste. Unless, of course one, or all have been removed by illness or accidents. My point is, it's a God given thing. He gave those five senses so we could understand the world around us, and those in it. It's how we decide what is good for us to be around, and what is not. Those senses trigger responses. Fight or flight. Embrace or distance from. Calm or unrest, etc. You get the picture.
Last point: When we feel "seen", we thrive in a world with challenges. When we feel misunderstood, not important enough to be listened to, or just "non-existent", our world will present challenges that will either cause us to hide (retreat) within ourselves, believing the lie, OR we will bow before the Father, and He will tell us who we really are. He will lift our heads to see beyond the abyss and will lift us up where we belong. That isn't a haughty statement. It's simply truth. We are His. And He is ours to lean on, to listen to, to follow, to learn from, to obey. That's a tough one for many. We don't want to "obey" ANYONE. Let alone someone we can't see. But...just like a little child that obey's a good parent, the rewards are many.
Please comment below with your opinion. I'm interested, and I will listen.
As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World
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