Change...the Inevitable Condition

The slower days used to feel really good when the bulk of my days were filled with hurry up and wait. The slow days of fall & winter, then, was like a warm blanket wrapped snuggly around the body, so as to keep any cold from reaching too deeply. Now, those snuggly days have a tendency to get a bit long. Oh, I still welcome this season. Very much so! However, not quite as much as when I truly needed them, being the high-strung individual that I was. There was always something to do. Something that needed done. Something I loved doing, for the most part.

During those career days, there was nothing quite as calming as a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter's eve. Especially when I couldn't seem to sleep, eyes refusing to close as the mind reviewed the days/ weeks happenings, and slumber attached itself to others. Just not you. It's the one constant that helped this gals eyes to become heavy as sleep beckon this tired old body.

Now, my days seem to run into each other, causing me to question if it's Tuesday, or Wednesday. "Wait! Wasn't yesterday Wednesday?" I can't remember a time when this was a problem during the busiest era of life. In those days, knowledge of the upcoming day was pretty important. When life is filled with a to-do list, the brain trains itself to remember which day it is because the previous day had so many moving parts. When those parts cease to exist, the brain can get a bit lazy, a bit foggy, if allowed.

This certainly doesn't mean there aren't things to do in the winter of ones life. It simply means one begins to not care if those things get done at any specific time. The need to get things accomplished goes out the window, because no one is really counting on you to get them done. Except for the mundane necessities of life, of course. No money exchange is involved, so why press yourself? Or stress yourself? Press/stress...kinda the same thing.

Here's the rub: If we allow ourselves to get in this mind-frame...and stay there, it won't be long before the whole body begins to follow suit and shut down. The signals coming from the brain are followed by feelings of unimportance (nothing needed from the body). Of being invisible (nothing needed from the brain). Feelings of no longer being needed (nothing needed from anyone). Of simply being a tag on someones back that needs removed. And...If entertained for too long, I do think it possible for one to simply give up on living. To me, that's a deal breaker. Hopefully, it is to you, as well!

This is not meant to be a depressing entry. It is meant to be a wake-up call. A precautionary tale of sorts. If for no-one other than myself (thank you, former self).

Upon closing my business, I penciled in my day planner an entry 6 months out, that reads "Today is 6 months after closing Elements Salon. What am I doing with my life?" That was the journal entry of November 24th...just this past Monday. I'm so glad I felt the need to do that back then. Planning futuristically can be a good thing, especially when you know yourself and the tendencies that tap on your shoulder from time-to-time. Like falling into self-pity. Or finding your way through an unfamiliar forest. In the dark.

Why is being still so hard? Admittedly, it feels great not having so many demands to meet, yet the psychological impact is not to be taken lightly. It's not for the faint of heart, to be sure! Bringing ones mind into subjection is like playing a game of chess. I have no idea how to play chess. It just sounds very difficult.

However, today is a new day. The battles of the mind may pop up from time to time, but will be conquered as they appear. I will insist on this. I simply have too much to live for. To be grateful for. To reach for. Maybe that will look different than it has these past decades, but none-the-less important.

Still grateful for life's opportunities (and hot cocoa), here you will find me...in Mary's World.

My Thanksgiving Wish

My faith in humanity was given a much-needed "shot in the arm" yesterday. Let me tell you about it...

But first, a little back-story. When I entered the age of retirement, it became easier for me to put things off as long as possible. Yesterday was no different. The "have-to's" are fewer and fewer, if you get my drift. It's been nice, actually. Mostly.

The morning had started slow (since I had been up most of the night), and my want to had gotten up and gone. Again. Because there is rarely a demand on my hours these days, bringing my body into subjection is not always an easy task. But, I had finally mustered up the strength (mental & physical) to make a trip to the grocery store, aka/Wal-Mart, after having put it off for several days. Full disclosure: It took me until early afternoon to walk out the door. 🤦‍♀️

The day was uncommonly warm, when compared to the previous weeks of much cooler temps. Indian Summer, I suppose. Still, I took a light sweater, just in case the weather took a turn. That part is common here in NC. It can be 70º one minute and 45º the next. Anndddd...that may be a bit of an exaggeration, still...

It was good to be out and about. That part, I do miss occasionally. Being outside your own home causes adrenaline to pump and the senses to come alive. There really is a world outside your tiny abode. And it's mostly good. That's what this post is about.

My faith in humanity has been waning because of, what seemed to me, a growing lack of care coming from the masses. Especially when visiting large market places. And, occasionally, just walking down a street. Rarely is eye contact made, let alone a smile. Even when one is given, hoping to receive the same. Maybe it's because of the multi-lingual, the melting pot of nationalities, in which my husband and I find ourselves to be, and the fact that few (in any given space) can really communicate with understanding. Unless, of course, you are a small business owner with specific clients who search you out. But that is not in my reach any longer. Soooo...I now depend on the smiles, the eye contacts, the kindnesses shown, even though we may not completely understand what is being said. Body language speaks, it communicates matters of the heart.

It all started with a "feeling-in-the-air" type of day. It was good to be out and about. A reprieve from the reprieve. 😁 Not to misunderstand, however. I always smile at those who make eye contact with me, and depending on where I am, I may even give a wave and speak encouragement to those I meet. Today was no different in that aspect, except for the possibility of that crazy feeling of excitement in the air, maybe I was a bit much for many I met. For example...

I found myself speaking to almost EVERYONE! What the heck? I didn't question whether they wanted to hear my voice or not. It was out for whomever wanted, or needed to hear it. Pretty sure I would have embarrassed any family member of mine, should they have been within ear-shot of me. Yep. I can be over-the-top, occasionally. There was blood flowing through my veins and enough oxygen coursing its way to my brain that life just could not, would not, be denied. It was a really good day. At least for me. I have no idea what those who came into my realm experienced. They probably needed to decompress when getting back to their collective homes.

There were many smiles that responded to mine. Many voices interacted with my own. But the lady I bumped with my buggy has been recorded and saved inside the walls of my brain. It was in the check-out line. A busy, busy day, at Wally World. I always use the self-checkout because I like the way I sack my own groceries. Patiently waiting my turn, I see a spot open up. These areas are much like finding a parking spot in the parking lot. Once you spot it, you'd better make your way there, quickly. I promise I did not see the lady being as close as she was. She must have taken a step backward before the crash. *wink *wink

Once my buggy made contact with her derrière, her face was immediately looking at mine, and once she saw who it was, said, "Oh! It's YOU!" 🤣🤣🤣  I had no idea who she was, but "I'm so sorry" poured out of me before the sound of her voice stopped. I asked if she was okay, thinking my check-out spot was probably being taken while apologies dripped from my lips. Happy meter slowed...

You can release your breath now. She was totally fine. I barely bumped her. She was startled. So was I. And she said so, assuring me she was just fine. However, as she and her husband left the self-checkout area, they swung past me (still checking my groceries), she leaned towards me and said, "Have a great Thanksgiving. Try not to run over anyone." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Okay. That brought my happy meter back up.

Everyone I met, or ran into, seemed to be cheerful. I loved that!!! It's so rare to see. Usually everyone is minding their own business, without a thought to who else may be in their scope of living life. Or doing life. Eyes and head, usually down, either looking at their iPhone, or doing whatever.

Leaving the store, I noticed a bottle-neck of people at the exit door. Thinking someone must have been stopped, for whatever reason, I made my way there only to find a rather large obstruction at the door. Yes, that is a judgement. I do have eyes. A rather large lady was forcing her way, with a shopping cart as her weapon of choice, demanding she have entrance to the one door (out of 3...2 of which were double doors), that was filled with those leaving the store. Still being on my game, as I reached her, I smiled with kind intention (yes, I did), and pointed out to her she was trying to go in an exit door. She looked confused. I was just being a good neighbor. 😉😁 Even the doorman that checks to make sure you've paid for your goods, looked at me and shook his head. I think he sees this more than he wants to admit. The only question I have is, "Did you not notice that HUGE Exit sign, maybe can't read, or just don't care?" 🤷‍♀️

Making my way out onto the parking lot area, I'm still feeling the lightness in my step. The interaction with those in the store made me smile. So much cheerfulness coming from inside a crowded business. That's the way it should be. Atmosphere charged with well-wishes, smiles, happy thanksgivings spoken. And we actually understood what the other was saying. If only it could be that way, always...

I was almost to my car when a gentleman crossed paths with me. He said, "It's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better." What? Then I understood. Sooooo many shoppers in one space. And yet, he said it with a big smile and ended with, "Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!" "I wish the same for you," I returned. My buggy wasn't hard to push, at all, up the steep grade to where my car waited. I loved this outing! 

My Thanksgiving wish? 

It's for a world of people who love deeply. Hearts full of gratefulness. Faces beaming with light that comes from a simple smile. Hope for the hurting, and a heart that follows hard after God. The One who made all things possible. The life giver...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL WHO LOVE KINDNESS. And to those who don't...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

I'm Not Done...

No one is coming to live my life for me. 

Not my children. Not the government. Not the promises I made to myself decades ago.

But here's the thing: I am still capable of shaping the days I have into something beautiful.

Aging doesn't take my power...it reveals it.

The choice is mine.

I can shrink into the shadows (sooo easy for me to do), or step into this new chapter with strength, clarity, and grace.

I may be older...but I'm not done.

Not even close.

I'm resolved to understand this new chapter may look a bit different than what has been these last 78 years. Much different, actually. But that's okay. It feels good not having an agenda, unless I want one of course, but that concerns me a bit. Should it????

I'm not in any hurry to create something that demands a lot of my time. I do enjoy the peace I feel NOT being in demand. I just keep thinking there is more for me to do...

Releasing yesterday, as always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

#myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #theforgottenway #newchapters #newboundaries 

Once A Truth Seeker, Always A Truth Seeker

I've searched for truth my whole life. Never being able to "just let it go" my curiosity has always demanded more from life. Some...many, declared me to be the nosey one amongst the group. It used to bother me. 

We all have a journey that we have been sat upon. Much like a chess board. We all have a starting place, we all have a choice in each move made, and we all have an opportunity to turn mere dust into something beautiful. Or into burnt ashes. Life is not without its challenges. For us all. I know no one who has lived a life without facing obstacles. Different for us all, yet the same.

As I grew older, and wiser (hopefully) I came to realize the only way to "win" is to checkmate the dark King. To capture the one who demands your loyalty in believing you are the total sum of what he says you are. Nothing more, nothing less. That dark king is a mere substitute for the real king, and wants nothing more than to control the light that is inside us. He wants that light snuffed out, and gets the job done with one bad choice at a time, keeping us in a dungeon of sorts with no seeming way out. We might reach for something better, but because we have believed a lie, can never seem to grasp it.

Choices. Life is about choices. What we choose to believe will be our guiding light. We may have fallen into a pit, but there is always a way out even though we may not see it for a time. It may take a bit of scraping off the cobwebs that encapsulate all the lies we believed, a whole lot of courage, and a determined cry for help when we are the weakest. That's another thing. Our real enemy wants to keep us trapped by isolating us from those who honestly love us. Our family. Our friends. And never does he want us considering the only person who can literally save us. Because if we entertain the thought of there being something better for us, something that will give us real life, that truth will destroy him and control will be lost.

I believe we were  born with a North Star inside us. A place reserved for our creator alone. Until we realize the light he provides; until we realize we were created for greatness and not insignificance, that part of us will remain void. A lonely place. The light we were born with diminishes to a mere flicker once we buy into the lie that we don't have value. Our eyes become dim as we look at a beautiful world and see only destruction. Until we search for truth, not "our truth", but THE truth...until we come to the end of struggling to be who we were never intended to be, our life will be nothing short of miserable. After all, what does it profit us to gain the whole world, but lose our soul in the process? 

One last thing. We can search for truth in all the wrong places without even realizing that is what we are doing. Blinded, you might say, to the reality of any given situation. But there is always a way out. Always. Searching in the right place would mean to bow our knee to releasing self-centeredness, and allow that North Star to guide us. A good place to start would be to verbally ask God to show himself to us. It will always be a personal destination. Others may point you in the right direction, but a relationship with God is always personal. We are unique to Him. Each having a "special assignment" as it were. Sure. There is a broad, sweeping likeness in us all. Yet God's stamp upon each of us is unique. Not one thumbprint is the same. Isn't that interesting? Each journey leads back to Him. Our choices determine how long that takes.

My adult "plumb line" is to measure the truth of any situation with just how much peace it brings, or how much unrest it brings. Do I need to wrestle with demons from the my past (that's a for sure red flag!)? Or can I move forward, knowing that it is the one who created me, who placed his "North Star" inside me and loves me unconditionally, that directs my steps? No matter the journey...

He is our light in the darkness. Our flickering flame that can't be extinguish. Our flame to light the way.

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

P.S.

Having been fed so many lies most of my existence, I have an indwelling resistance to deception on any level. I seriously cannot stand to hear the words, "I was only kidding! Can't you take a joke?" No...I cannot, I will not receive deception of any kind. By the way, not telling the whole story is a form of lying. With-holding anything is hiding the truth. Partial truth is a non-truth, when it's intentional. I would much rather receive the wounds of the truth than to be fed a lie...a deception that damages so much more than the simple truth would. And, how does one trust another when they speak lies? I don't think that is what God meant when he said to forgive. Yes. People change. I changed. But until that day, know that I'm not interested in non-truths. 

#myjourneyamongtheunseen #theforgottenway #lifeissues #truthseeker #flameseeker

 

When Life Demands A Walk

When lonely feelings begin their descent...take a walk, breathe deeply

When your voice feels unheard...take a walk, breathe deeply

When others seem consistently prioritized over you...take a walk, breathe deeply

When isolation becomes the answer to seeming invisible...take a walk, breathe deeply

When peace gives way to fear...take a walk, breathe deeply

Humanity is made up of mind, body, and spirit. All three need daily attention. To deny this as a truth, we have lost the most generic understanding of life and have allowed ourselves to believe there is no way to live it well. We believe the lie that "this is just my path".

The world has a way of closing in on us when attention to the simplest demands of living a life full of promise caves in, ultimately handing it over for a much lesser existence. To be sure, change is the only constant in anyones life and it demands we pay attention to detail. It demands we bend, lest we break. And bending doesn't mean exchanging your belief system for someone else's. For something less than what you know to be true.

What it means is to trust the process. To feed our mind, our body, our spirit. What it means is to trust the only true God, while simultaneously putting our hands, our mind, our body, to the task of creativity within the realm of minutes, hours, days, we have been given. 

This is our time. Blink, and it's gone. Do we really have time to entertain loneliness? We have been given everything we need to overcome deception. That's what loneliness is, ya know. Deception telling us we really aren't that important. Deception that encourages us to just give up. That no-one cares. That this is a road we must travel...alone.

Take a walk, breathe deeply.

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

#myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #theforgottenway #deception #lonelyfeelings #Godismystrength

She Rises and She Glows

I heard a song last week that spoke to me. Just wanted to share it with you and leave it here, as a reminder to me, when I visit my blog. You should look it up on You Tube. 

COPY & PASTE: https://youtu.be/1HeGYr05IOE?si=k-8Vqr9VOd1a35t6

LYRICS:

She doesn't need to shout her name
She's walking sunshine through the rain
With every no, she found a way
She's smiling brighter every day

No map, just dreams she made her own
She's the kind who grows alone

She rises, and she glows
Dancing through the highs and lows
From quiet roots, a garden grows
She's got that light, and now it shows
Yes, she rises, and she glows
Oh, she rises, now she knows

She laughs like hope's a melody
Turns old doubts into harmony
Every stumble, every scar
She's turned them into works of art

She's not late, she's right on time
Running free, and in her prime

She rises, and she glows
Spinning dreams in twirling clothes
She told the dark it had to go
Now look at her, she's in control
Yes, she rises, and she glows
Oh, she rises, now she knows

The world said, "Wait, " she said, "No thanks"
She built her life on dancing planks
She's a wave, she's a spark
She's the light after the dark

She rises, and she glows
Letting all her colours show
Every step, a brighter flow
She's the rhythm in the road
Yes, she rises, and she glows
She rises and it shows

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Linhy Banh

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

 

Proof That Football Unites People

I'll just start with this. I am NOT a fan of the game of football. The constant noise that comes out of the tv screen blocks any chance of a creative thought making its way through the firing neurons as the background clamor and pandemonium ensues circling like vultures in my brain. Most of those who know me, know my brain is wired for constant choice making. Constant decisions to be made about this or that. Some real. Some not so much so. Its why I refuse to decide which pizza to have on any given Friday or Saturday night, and why I refuse to speak by telephone to AT&T. Trivial non-essentials, in my book. It simply puts me in a state of nervous confusion. And, who decided it would be a good thing to toss, or kick, a pigskin ball around just so opposing sides could clobber each other. "Sorry I broke your neck (or back) with that last tackle, bro!" "Sorry it was my action that crippled you for life, dude." And while we're at it, why is it so exciting to see someone get hurt so badly? I suppose that really isn't the way it is, but still... 

Anyway...

If you know me at all, you know I LOVE this time of year. Yes! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! It is the hope I cling to as summers heat ravages everything in my line of vision...even myself. Not to say there aren't days of summer that I do enjoy...just not nearly as much as when Fall kisses my face with temps cold enough to cause a blush on the cheeks. Anyway....

My crisp morning walks are becoming friendly morning walks all of a sudden. Most people out as early as I am are focused on getting back to their starting point, I suppose. Rarely do I get a response to my "Good Morning" until the weather cools down and puts a bit of a spring in walkers walking. And even then...just every now and again. But for the last couple of weeks I have noticed a distinct difference!

It wasn't until this morning that the room where my thoughts are processed (aka/my brain) convinced me the smiles and "Good Morning" coming back to me, was because it is FOOTBALL SEASON/!!! Oh my gosh! Duh!!! And..I WAS WEARING AN OKLAHOMA SWEATSHIRT!!! It's my morning outer wear for temps lower than 45º. Huge letters spread across the front of my clothing was causing people to befriend me! And here I was thinking they were finally noticing The Girl Who Walks and had decided she was a pretty good egg. Always friendly. Always wishing them a great day. Why not reciprocate the beautiful smile she always offered. Except for the occasional days where she seemed pre-occupied. Days when she seemed distant...

So...there is this delightful elderly gentleman (about my age, I would guess), that I have seen on my morning walkabouts. He was quickly becoming a constant in my morning sightings. He wasn't going to be the first to speak, however, so I did my regular "Good Morning" with a half wave until the day came he finally spoke to me. He was wearing a Tar Heels jersey that particular day. The words didn't come until we met. Me heading Northeast, while he headed Southwest. A cautious half-smile spread across his face as he pointed to my shirt. "Oklahoma," he said, as he pointed to my shirt, and just as quickly pointed back to his. No words. Just letting me know he was a Tar Heel fan. Okay. Great! "Have a great one," said I, as we continued our separate journeys. 

Each consecutive day, our friendship began to grow. I think it must have blossomed this morning. He wanted to visit! "Hey! Who do you think will win this weekend," he asked. "Ummmm...I don't have a clue," I said. "I'm not the sports fan in the family. My husband is and he buys me these shirts and makes me wear them. I actually don't know anything about football. Who do you think will win?" I continued. I was so happy someone was talking to me! After the initial look of complete disbelief (I may have just lost his friendship), he said, "Do you know who Oklahoma is playing this weekend?" "No." He opened his jacket and showed me a plain orange tee-shirt. No letters, no words. Just an orange shirt. It meant absolutely nothing to me, yet the neurons in my brain struggled to navigate the matrix of all it had stored from years of data processing. Nothing...

He seemed like a well spoken man. Someone who maybe had a lot of degrees hanging on a wall(s) back at his house. Very nice man. I liked him. Still nothing on the orange teeshirt, however. He picked up on it. "Tennessee!" he said. Like I should know. 🤷‍♀️ Noise, so much noise. That's all I could drum up. Still, I've made a friend. I think...

We talked for a bit as he shared about the multiple degrees he had from Tennessee State (I KNEW IT) or maybe it was Vanderbilt, got lots of love from his dog, and then we went our separate ways. Maybe I should watch the game this weekend. I think I'm busy, though. Maybe another time. My new friend thinks Tennessee is going to win, simply because "Oklahoma seems to be having some issues" according to him. I'll have to check with someone I trust to know (possibly DW) if they truly are having issues. It's a "need to know" issue. Or possibly just a FOMO. 😉 Come on, Oklahoma!!! Shake it off! Show us what you are made of!!! You're OKLAHOMA for goodness sake! Go Go NEO. Oh wait...that's the college in Miami. Never mind...

Please take note of my first effort at knowing what football is about. You did see each contenders logo in this post, right? 😂 You have my new friend to thank for it. I'm probably embarrassing my husband, right about now.

Connecting to, uniting with football fans (to an extent...let's not get crazy here), here you will always find me...in Mary's World.

This Thing Called "Retirement"

Never in a million years would I have believed you, had you told me retirement would cause my vision to shift to one of "I really don't care." I have cared about everything I've ever put my hand to; sometimes to the point of exhaustion. Starting with vision, then intentional goal planning and getting all my ducks in a row, straight on through to the execution of said vision. And it changed more than I should admit, with many fails, but a whole lot more wins. Over the years, I have worn many hats that required full attention to detail. But now? Well...retirement has caused my breathing to regulate to a more calm state without so many "needs" and desires. Almost to the point of feeling useless. It's only on occasion anxious thoughts arise. 

It does seem as though I have stepped into a more relaxed environment. It's nice. Mostly...

Promising myself, and many of my then clients, the first thing I would do when the business shingle came down, would be to tackle my home. One room at a time. It would be time for decluttering, not just for my own sanity, but for that of our girls. They would have a much easier time of going through Mom's STUFF, once this season of life expires, if it had already been gleaned of the unnecessary. It truly was a solid plan. And it is still waiting for me to activate it...5 months later.

To be honest, there has been a fair amount of distraction keeping most of my attention on the desirable and a bit less on the harder task of choosing what to throw away, what to donate, and what to keep. Being an entrepreneur for 50+ years hasn't helped. I keep seeing $ signs going down the proverbial drain. My brain keeps thinking about how I can still recoup a bit of the loss of retail (and all those decorations!) that was left over from the big closing sale. I've actually been somewhat successful in the endeavor, but since my husbands experience of dealing with a Marketplace pickup, I'm less prone to advertise. Thinking of a possible Garage Sale, at the moment. And since I've organized my fair share of those in Oklahoma, and know how to get the best out of the chaos it creates, I think I'm up for it. Yet, not really looking forward to what it will take to do one here in North Carolina. Still...

Recently, DW and I visited a bit about how different we are since retirement. While still working, we purchased things we needed, or just wanted, and it never seemed to daunt us. We did it without a second thought, knowing the out-go would quickly be replaced by the dual income. Having lived a simple life, spending never got out of hand, so we rarely thought twice about handing over the money for whatever it was we wanted. That has changed. Drastically. We now count every dollar that goes out because not much comes in to replace it. No dual income these days. Not even a single income, for that matter...other than a minimal reimbursement from all the money we handed over to the government while working. We began our retirement with a decent "nest egg" that only continues to shrink as life goes by. Maybe it's because we are accustomed to watching that egg grow, not become smaller, that is causing this uneasy feeling inside. Still, if the stock market holds steady and continues this upswing, that might cause tight shoulder muscles to relax a bit. 😁

Maybe a garage sale is in order. Time will tell. Ahhhh...retirement. A place of depending on how one feels at the moment, with no real agenda to get accomplished. No dead lines. No casualties if it doesn't get done today. Still...if not now, when? Good question.

DW says I worry too much. He may be right...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

The Girl Who Walks - Episode 5

It's been a minute since I wrote about the girl who walks. My influencer. My encourager. My inspiration. The last post about her, was on September 12th, 2024. At that time, she was going through some unexpected challenges and had to discontinue the walkabouts, so she might give herself time to heal. It was a sad day when the sun began to rise and she could not make the morning journey she had become accustomed to. The fresh breezes whipping her hair and causing her face to become rosy with the cold fall morning air rushing past, was something she was going to genuinely miss.

Those morning walks were more than just exercise for her. They were therapy. Creativity always came front and center as she envisioned all that could be. All that was within her reach if she only believed it possible. Those were the times of renewal for her. Times of quiet meditation as each foot slapped the roadway as if they were drum slap mallets, slapping a drum. She kept rhythm with each contact as if it were music instructing her of the value of life. Reminding her just how much she was loved, even though she battled to believe it. Those were the times God reminded her just how deeply SHE loved, and why. Those were the times she was reminded of the release from captivity of years gone by and how to bring every thought into subjection. To say she missed those times is an understatement.

The year between then and now, has brought so much change in her life. What she had always known, did a 180, and she began living a life that feels as if it must have been meant for someone else. This transition has required her to rethink many things. She's always known the beauty life brings, but now she has the time to notice more than what surrounded her when life was full of distractions. If she can only let go of what was...  

And now...she is back! The ligament that encapsulates the outer edge of her foot and stretches up and around her ankle, seems to have repaired itself nicely. It still reminds her, from time to time, to not over-do it. Still...the fresh morning elements beckon her...and she can't resist. She can't resist the urge to "come for a visit, child," as the Father of all, whispers her name.

Today's "feels like 45º "early morning weather provided the most amazing comeback she could have dreamed of. As she walked, her fingertips became chilled, the skin on her face welcomed the cold wind, and her hair grabbed every movement presented. There was a briskness in her walk that said she was back for the long haul. At last, she was alone with the God of the Universe, and possibly an angel, or two, out strolling on the neighborhood's quiet, early morning streets. 

Had it not been for the gentle reminder of tightening pressure the once-damaged ligament provided, she would have kept walking. Maybe another day, since we are heading into the cooler months of the year. Maybe the foot issue will strengthen as she uses it. I can't wait to see where these walks take her and what is spoken to her heart as she listens to the music of the steps.

Walking again, here you will find me...in Mary's World. #myjourneyamongtheunseen #walkabouts #lifeasIknowit #changecanbegood #theforgottenway #earlymorningwisdom

When Threats Become Real

Ha! The thinker...

It went down this past Monday evening. It had been a calm and rewarding day as we watched, in part, technicians repairing our crawl space issues of falling insulation, most likely caused by all the humidity our neck of the woods loves sharing with us. We have our HVAC system checked twice a year, and when the last inspection was complete, we learned a lot about the situation we had looming. So, once again, home ownership demanded more money.

We had a great crew working, and we enjoyed the back and forth conversations, when opportunity presented itself. I do believe that most of humanity is good. They want the same thing we want. Peace, prosperity, friendship, love, and agreeing to disagree on occasion.

It wasn't until the evening hours, long after the crew had left, that fear presented itself. Dennis, being the amazing father he is, had accepted a simple request of picking up an item, purchased off Facebooks Market Place, and delivering it back to one of our daughters. His truck comes in handy. He uses it for many things...mainly requests from me. 😉 So, today was no different than any other, until the unexpected happened. 

The pick up destination was a 40 minute drive, one way. It took him to a "questionable neighborhood", an unfamiliar neighborhood, that made him a little uneasy as the evening hours were about to enfold him. He had made the trip alone, as he does much of the time. Never fearful. Never concerned. That was about to change...

Progression of events as they happened once he arrived at said destination:

1) Item that was suppose to be laid out in front of the house, because it had already been paid for, was not in sight.

2) D knocks on the door, several times, with no response.

3) Eventually, the garage door opens and home owner emerges. No eye contact. No greeting. Odd...

4) Homeowner helps D put the item in the back of his truck and grunts as he turns to leave.

5) D said the niceties he alway does; being friendly regardless of how he's received. He then leaves and turns right at first stop sign, following Seri's orders. He notices a few small kids sitting on the ground as he continues his coming home plans.

6) A car pulls up behind him and follows him, then sharply moves up beside him and accelerates to maneuver in front of his truck as they swing their vehicle into a blocking position that cuts off the roadway. Their car is now sitting across the lane, instead of in a forward position, blocking him from forward movement.

7) One of the 3 people in the car, gets out, thinking D will stop, as if to engage him.

8) But...instead of stopping, D maneuvers into the passing lane and goes around them (good boy), giving them a little wave as he goes around them. He had no time to process their intentions and he ALWAYS gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. He trusts people way more than I do.

9) The guy jumps back in the car and the 3 tailgate D to the next stop sign, where D had to stop because of traffic in the intersection.

10) At this point they all 3 jump out of their car (2 guys and 1 girl) and come up to his drivers window with accusations of him taking pictures of their kids (at the first stop sign). They wanted to know what he planned on doing with those pictures. He assured them he was not guilty of what they were claiming. His words: "I'm a Christian man and don't believe in doing that kind of thing."

11) They demanded he give them his phone. He refused. I'm shaking just remembering his telling of this story when he got home. Thank God, he did come home...and in one piece.

12) When he refused to give them his phone, one of the young men (he thought they all looked to be in their 20's), said, "It's a good thing I don't have a gun." This just got real and very clear as to what their intent was.

This is where the girl got involved and spoke for the first time, letting Dennis know they watch over their neighborhood and don't like strangers coming in, to which Dennis responded, "It's good that you do. Someone needs to." 

I do think his demeanor actually disarmed them. Brought peace to a situation where there was none, with every possibility of escalation. She told him to never come back to this neighborhood, and he responded with, "Don't worry. I never will." And they retreated to their car, releasing him from the threat of harm.

Terror on the streets, in the neighborhoods...of America.

He tells me his thoughts as he slowly pulls out into traffic. He had kept his "cool" with them, all the while his insides were churning. His emotions ran the gamut after he got away, causing him to pull over to the side of the road to regroup trying to figure out where he even was. 

It was a long night. And it still invades both our thoughts. I have always been an observant individual, almost to the point of paranoia. All the more so now. I will never allow myself to be in a compromising position if at all possible. But D? Even though he is still dealing with the memory of that event, he seems to be his old self. Mostly. I did notice, however, when I came back from running errands yesterday, the door to our house was locked...with him inside. That is definitely a first!

As I'm working on this post, he popped in to tell me that he still has to pray when all the different thoughts come to him about that interaction. He is still shaken as he thinks of all the wrongs that could have happened. Thank God no gun was involved. Not because guns kill people, but because people kill people. Guns may make it easier, but had they really wanted to hurt him, they would have. 

Thank God he had the character to disarm them with kind sincerity, even while his insides were on high alert. Thank God he didn't respond with anger about the accusations. Thank God he didn't challenge them. Thank God he stayed put and never got out of the truck to address this. Thank God he got home safe. 

I pray that some small word D spoke, pierced their souls. That because of my husband's kindness to everyone he meets, even when directly accused, struck a cord within them, and they, too, had a reckoning with God that night. 

"Do not be overcome by evil (don't allow emotions to rule you, so that you respond poorly), but overcome evil with good." ~Romans 12:21

 So very grateful to have my husband still with me, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

My View from Here

I know. I know! We just started Fall, why am I jumping into Winter this early?! Well...I recently ran across a writing that beckoned me because of the "season" of life I find myself to be in. It had no author that I could find, but it isn't mine. I add my 2 cents worth at the end. Of course I do... 

They call it the winter of life...the years when hair turns silver, bones ache a little more, and the world feels quieter. For many, it sounds like an ending. But those who are living it know the truth: winter has its own beauty.

In youth, life is spring...full of beginnings. In adulthood, summer...busy, warm, overflowing with noise and responsibilities. Autumn arrives with reflection, slowing down, watching children grown and dreams settle into place.

And then comes winter. 

At first, it feels cold. Empty nest. Quiet house. Loved ones gone. The snow seems heavy.

But look closer. Winter is also when the world glitters brightest under the morning sun. It's the season of warm fires, of hands wrapped around tea cups, of conversations that finally have time to breathe. Winter is when you realize that happiness isn't rushing anymore...it's in remembering, in cherishing, in stillness.

One grandmother put it best: 

"I used to think getting older was losing pieces of myself. Now I see it's gaining a clearer view. I don't need everything I once thought I did. I just need love, peace, and the people who choose to stay."

The winter of life teaches us this: every wrinkle is a story, every scar a survival, every laugh line a proof that joy was real.

So, if you're blessed enough to reach this season...wear it proudly. Wrap yourself in gratitude. Share your wisdom with the young. And remind the world that winter isn't the end.

It's the soft glow before the dawn.

Final Thought: Don't fear winter. Embrace it. Because the quietest season can hold the loudest love. ❤️

My View from Here...

I do love this time of my life. The last season of life...the next chapter, as I know it. A birthing is about to take place. A new life is about to begin. In more ways than one.

I would say, for me, at least, the transition from the world of business to the world of retirement has been a journey in and of itself. It took me a bit, but I think I have finally arrived. With only 4 months in my rear view mirror, I have become accustom to this way of living. It feels good most days.

I couldn't tell you any differences I felt when I entered the "winter" of my life because I was still working my small business until the ripe old age of 78 years. Energy was abundant because of what my hands were finding to do, I loved. During the sometimes long hours of any given day, I rarely became hungry. Nor did I tire. Not until my tush found its groove in the drivers seat of my car at the end of the day, did my body even realize it needed nourishment and rest. Those were good, fulfilled days. Mostly...

But now? Now I find myself realizing I really AM in the winter of life. It stares me in the face every day. I no longer feel the need for beautifying my looks since I have no clear agenda other than putting one foot in front of the other and making stabs at reorganizing my life as I become more knowledgeable with how creation works. My hands are in dirt (a lot), as I now am helping the plant world (instead of the human world) be beautiful. Still full of challenges, just no feed-back, other than what the outcome tells me. It's pretty much a silent world. It's as if I have stepped into someone else's life. 

From the age of 7 years, I have worked. Rising at 4 AM and not laying down until the days work could be called done. During the "responsible for others" era, that time was quite late. So, now...well, it's just weird. But fulfilling...most days. I've still a lot to learn.

I do love this time of life, though. It's so much easier to see the absolute miracles of life. And, it's not that I've lived without feeling the nearness of God and the daily miracles of life, because I have. All one has to do, really, is be quiet for a bit and listen. All one need do is look at creation. There are so many miracles floating right in front of our natural eyes, and once we breathe and take in the goodness of God, we can feel His unconditional love for us. Inside our being. And it feels good...

Embracing the quietest season of life, seeing love differently...here you will find me, in Mary's World.

Problem Solvers

Those who know me, know I can be a bit "high-strung"; easily triggered at times of frustration. Especially when it comes to those who should know what they are selling, before they are allowed to present themselves as professionals.

There are two businesses that I have, in the past, refused to deal with. They both live or die under my husbands control. Insurances and AT&T. However, it seems as if I am getting thrown into the arena of dealing with both, of late. Where's my coffee?

The most recent, was with AT&T. When it comes to our wireless connections, I would rather go to the local brick and mortar store and not deal with using the device to work out a solution to the problem. Why? Because you never know what language you will have to decipher, making it very difficult to understand what is being said...asking for a repeat way too often. One can expect to be weeding through the dialog, as best they can, for at least an hour and a half, ending the conversation with no solution at all. Granted, it's mostly my fault because my patience beings to run on empty by the time I've said, "I'm really sorry, but I have no idea what you just said. Would you mind repeating that?" for the fifth time.

This time around, I was grumbling more than I should have because my online presence was completely messed up; wiped out mostly, with having no access for online bill pay. I couldn't see the actual bill, nor could I see the recent changes that had been made to our wireless account. Our connected plans had disappeared all together.  

But this story is not about that (mainly); but about professionals in the workplace. It seems to be such a rare thing these days, that employees take the time to look at you, or even act as if they really care you are there. Yesterday was different. The first thing upon entering the building, we were both met with a smile, eye contact, and "welcome to AT&T". Even though that first contact was with another couple, working through whatever they were there for, he acknowledged our presence, letting us know they knew we were there. This is exactly what is needed in any business doing business.

In less than a heartbeat, another employee was on her feet, coming our way. Excellent! First step to getting my blood pressure under control...and causing me to think we could possibly get this fixed, once and for all. I would be able to navigate our online presence, again. I had brought my laptop with me, so I could show them exactly what was happening. I seriously don't like using small devises (iPhones), to do business on. And, I figured if they could see what I saw, the problem would be solved much easier than me trying to explain the issue. I had already tried that. Twice. By addressing it on my phone. All that created was more anxiety, which ended with me hanging up on the last poor guy, after the third time answering the same question. I knew a visit to the brick and mortar store was in my future. 

Sooooo...I guess this is a shout out to our local AT&T store on Walnut Street in Cary, NC. Thanks to Christalyn (second contact) and her Assistant Manager (third contact...wish I could remember his name...such a great guy), we were able to walk out with our problem resolved, having been dealt with by kind professionalism. I had no doubt the Assistant Manager knew the answer to our dilemma, because of the confidence he extended by looking at me while I spoke. There was no looking away, no head down, no fiddling with other things while he listened. Just clear eye contact. There was an immediate disarming when met with this very obvious solution-knowledge individual. He was there for one purpose. To fix that which was broken. And the only way one can get there is to first listen to the why, and then proceed with attentiveness. You can always tell when someone is listening to what you are saying, and when they clearly, are not. Yesterday, we hit the jackpot of professionalism. And now my life has meaning...*wink *wink

Loving true and honest connections, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Ambiance That Quietly Speaks Volumes

 

First, we feast with our eyes. Then with our nose. Those two senses alone, tell us if we should relax or tense up. Anytime I step into a business, the first thing that tells me if I want to stay there, is the ambiance the owner, or manager, has created for their guests. The next thing that alerts me is the smell of the place.

Being in business for decades, I have had more than a few clients make comments about how my house must look. The creative strain started many years ago while going through some rough patches. Possibly it was there inside me all along, just waiting to express itself. But once I allowed myself to release it, the desire didn't take long to grow to where I found the need to temper it down, at times. It was my get-away from the norm.

My husband and I have always lived the simple life, catering only to life sustaining needs. In our early years of marriage, we didn't have money to use for the non-essentials. Creativity was all I had to work with, always looking for things to decorate my home with, usually finding them at garage sales or gathering from things others were just throwing away. It didn't take long to have more than enough to fill any nook or cranny I might find.

While packing for the move to NC, much of my treasures got thrown out because of time constraints. I couldn't be in two places at once, so accepted help in sorting and loading for the big move. Couldn't have done it without the generosity shown us. However, without my eye on every little item I had collected over the 39 years of living in Oklahoma, much got lost in the mix of "what to do with this". 

Once in our new home, I went through a range of emotions when I found out that many things I loved were no longer in my possession. But...me being me, it didn't take long to replenish with up-dated, more beautiful, STUFF! Much to my husbands dismay. In our existing shed; his work shed, there are shelves overhead on either side as you walk in. On the right, is my recently closed Elements Salon totes, full of seasonal decorations. All labeled with "Salon Spring/Easter" "Salon Summer" "Salon Fall" & "Salon Christmas". On the left, are totes labeled, "Home Spring/Easter" "Home Summer" "Home Fall" & "Home Christmas". They ALL need to be downsized, once again...

This new season of my life...this new chapter labeled "Retirement" has thrown me a serious curve that I didn't see coming. The drive I once had to decorate every space (inside & out), is beginning to diminish. It feels as if there isn't any real need to go to all the trouble of putting up and taking down just for the two of us. Our girls and grand-girls visit a few times throughout the month, but both daughters have families that are priority and time constraints don't allow for being able to just walk next door to see each other. First of all, they don't live next door, and secondly, life can be super busy when you have a 9-5 and family to tend to. I'm happy they tend well to the necessities of their lives, but it sure does leave a house feeling empty, even though it isn't. 

Now that even the salon is in my rear view mirror; where traffic and praise was plenty and where my ego was stroked a bit, I find myself questioning the importance of it all. And quite frankly, it scares me.

However...my husband and I still enjoy the ambiance, and joy, decorating for each season brings to our lives. So, I will most likely continue to dot our surroundings with items that beckon the senses to enjoy the comings and goings of the seasons as they dance their way through our lives.

After all is said and done, I must admit, the mood set in any shell of a home, speaks volumes as to the mental status of the homes occupants. Creativity is placed inside us all from the time we are being formed and nurtured, inside our mother's womb. It's a God thing. We ALL are created to create. In one way or another. And to worship the only true creative God, in whose image we are made. The master of all things we see. One might say, "But Mary! God didn't create the computer you are typing on. Man did that." To which I would respond, "There is a miraculous network of neurons and matter, created by a loving God, called 'the brain', so that any human desiring to create, can." 

This creative vein I have is so simple, but shows its own worth through the desire it manifests. May it never cease. May I never allow the lack of having crowds who stop to peer into my business studio to take it all in, keep me from creating. I don't know. Maybe God enjoys watching me live out this new chapter. Seeing what I will do with it. Watching, inspiring me, as I navigate this 180.

Slow and steady is my pace these days, but...as always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

What's the Best That Could Happen?

"You always think of the worst thing that could happen, Mom," said my daughter, after yet another caution was uttered by her mother. Always the worrier...

I don't remember just how long ago that sentence was spoken, but it pops up in my head every now and again. When the situation warrants it, I suppose. But she was right. I do. It's the "cover all the basis" in me. It's the need to be safe...to be in control, to be able to confront all the bad that could happen, before it happens. It helps me be prepared. You know...just in case.

I've walked a few miles in my lifetime, and have seen what unpreparedness puts in our hands. I've made a few missteps, a few clearly wrong decisions, to not wish it on anybody. But, once I got my head on straight, I began to see the beauty waiting for me to embrace it. Waiting for me to accept that just possibly there was a best case scenario waiting to place hope in my heart, and that life didn't have to revolve around the fear of all the what-ifs.

When I allowed my shoulders to relax and my lungs to breathe deep, life changed. The seeds of hope actually started somewhere around 1973-74. But I'm guessing it was because of the first 26 years of my life being lived much differently, those weeds of doubt and fear took a bit of time to completely be dug up and destroyed. And still, to this very day, I have to be cautious of allowing the winds of change to blow in a whole new harvest of those weeds.

Being a business owner for 50+ years also taught me a thing or two. One can't, one shouldn't, plan a success story without first evaluating the pit-falls of a start-up plan. One must have enough forward thinking to be prepared for the "what-ifs" while holding onto that vision placed inside your heart for the best-case scenario. 

Over the years, I have heard so much negativity about speaking something into existence. Coming from a charismatic background, "normal" people would make fun of us for believing something could actually come from that mindset. What they didn't understand was the why behind the phrase, and definitely not the how. I never believed we could just say, "Let there be...." like God spoke light into the darkness, and it would be so. Instantly, at least. But, what I DID believe was that I could quote Scripture, the written Word, back to myself and it become so embedded in my spirit that it actually gave birth to belief. And many times that belief led me to speaking something into existence. Stay with me here...

Think about the times you've been successful during your lifetime. Did you ponder whatever it was that caused your heart to beat a little stronger? Did you do research of how you might get from here to there? Did you begin to see the hope of actually getting where you wanted to be? Did you begin to see it more clearly as time wore on? Of course you did! And I would bet that during this time you talked to yourself. You searched for proof you could do whatever it was. You encouraged yourself. You fought back the fear of doubt and defeat, as your heart reached for what seemed impossible. Am I right? If so, then I would say you spoke something into existence.

I read somewhere that if you think you can't, you can't. But, if you think you CAN, you CAN! Over the years my vision became one that believed anything was possible. Anything was reachable if we just believed it was. There would be work to be done, of course. First, we have to convince our minds that it is indeed possible. Then we can begin the process of bringing it to fruition. Nothing is free, but everything is rewarding if done with a pure heart. There must be challenges to see victories.

It is by the work of our hands and the steadfastness of our minds, that we can experience best case scenarios. I would go so far as to say that it is by the renewing of our doubting minds that we attain greatness. That our vision changes enough to be able to see the "what-ifs" as only flies surrounding stagnant thinking. Yes, we must face those what-ifs so that we may be at least somewhat prepared when flies begin to swarm. And they will. We must have an alternate route, a plan for dumping the stagnant and beginning anew with fresh vision for those times we make wrong choices. Challenges will always present themselves. Such is life. It's always the darkest before the dawn. 

Having always been a risk taker, I've built. I've risked. I've won. I've lost. I've learned plenty. Looking back I can see that it was the times of believing I could do anything I put my mind to, success came. Just as we "eat with our eyes before we eat with our mouths", so it is with whatever our spirit prompts us to do. We first see it within our mind, begin to speak it with our mouth, then put our hands to the task. 

What's the best that could happen? Keep those weeds of doubt to a minimum! If they become over-grown, we have a problem.

Speaking hope...speaking life into my journey, here you will find me...in Mary's World. #myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #ICanDoAllThings #thebestoflife #fightingfear 

Bumps in the Road?

"Is it a mountain to climb, or is it just a bump in the road, Mary?" A question Becky used to ask when I was facing another challenge. When discouragement sat in and helpless feelings came front and center, she would toss bits of wisdom my way, bits of guidance, that would settle into the brain waves as I considered "what now?"

Life is never without its challenges. Even for a life well lived. Mostly for a life well lived. It's how wisdom grows. When we face reality, but depend on grace as we ask ourselves, "Is it a mountain, or just a bump in the road?" 

Our reaction to difficulties as they vagabond themselves into our business; into our normal day-to-day lives, will create wholeness or brokenness. Brokenness is not always a bad thing, but can become undesirable if we wallow too long in it. At some point we must lift our eyes and get to work building, or re-building that which seems impossible. That which was never in the scope of our vision. That which seems to have been handed to us unexpectedly. A new chapter. A flipped page in our book of life. That which seems to have come from God's hands, yet with the question attached, "What will you do with this?"

With new things...different things...comes new challenges, different challenges that you know very little about. Talk about getting out of your comfort zone! I've heard that life awaits at the edge of our comfort zone. I'm questioning that, at this moment. I'm expecting great things, for sure. But for goodness sake! How on earth will I get from here to there? I will figure it out, but does it really need to be so difficult? I'm probably over-thinking this. That's how I operate.

I also think God must be laughing at me, right about now. I have voiced, carelessly, at times, "I love a good challenge!" Which is true, by the way, but maybe I forgot that God is always listening. Pretty sure I did.  Okay, Mary! Here ya go! Try this challenge out and let's see how long it takes you to conform to your new reality. I keep repeating, "Baby steps. Baby steps." My fast walking days seem to have been put on hold, at least for the time being.

Knowing He is always for my good, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

#chasinglife #lifeissues #theforgottenway #myjourneyamongtheunseen #beautyoflife #newchallenges #hairworksversesgardening

What Crumbled Your Cookie?

Something I have noticed over these past 7 (almost 8) decades of living, is that regret is a tough cookie to un-crumble. One can't change the past, from where the actions took place that caused regret to settle into our bones. That's why it's a wound that doesn't seem to ever heal.

We can use the tired, old adage, "I'm not perfect; I'm only human," to excuse our past (or present) behavior, but we all know that is only refusing to accept responsibility for our actions, or lack thereof. It's a conversation that gets old the more we have to address it. If we could just take responsibility for our actions, apologize if necessary and begin to restore trust, then possibly the crumble will stop and regret would become less prominent in our lives.

Whole cookies seem to taste sweeter. Right? They seem to be tastier, more satisfying. Wouldn't you agree? Better than if they have been crumbled. Yet, adversity does have its advantages. It trains us, prepares us, matures us. Even though it's not always a good thing, it can also cause disparity, feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, and self-image issues that accompanies a "less-than" image. To rise above it, we must see the value that is within us. Not only to ourselves, but to those around us. We must learn to walk upon the injustices of a life lived without purpose. There is, most definitely, value in the crumbled cookie. Much like a cracked pot, that light shines through.

For instance: Have you ever enjoyed a scoop of ice cream with crumbled cookies added to it? Have you ever been grateful for the last crumbled pieces, swiped off the counter, when needing something sweet to cut the sting of hot salsa? How about being allowed to have the last crumble of a broken cookie? Metaphorically, there are times we may feel like a crumbled cookie because of being the target of abuse...yet, all we have to remember is that our sweetness extends beyond what it was when we were whole.

The flip of this coin, is that we remain a victim of what we felt to be injustice. Not only does it keep us from what God intended for our lives, but it also causes us to continue the behavior that caused us to be broken in the first place. We can run, but we can't hide. And, at some point, we will have to face truth and break a cycle if need be, of what was. Allow ourselves to be different. To be whole, renewed. To be grateful...

For restoration, we must first take responsibility for what caused the regret in the first place, or place it where it belongs. There is no need to explain why we did, or said, the things that wound. That is only an action to protect ourselves and is seen as us saying it really wasn't our fault. "Because of blah, blah, blah, I did this (or that)." No. Stop making excuses for the why. Take responsibility!

There may be no place of forgiveness for what we have caused, but we must move forward if there is to be any resemblance of a life well lived. To correct our steps...our thoughts that create action, is to say and do every good thing possible; to do and say and express this to those we love. Daily. Break the cycle of bad behavior. Because there isn't always time to whisper good-bye. To allow love to be seen, and felt, is good. It's what keeps us focused...because there isn't always time to whisper good-bye.

Grateful for the grace I have received, and the opportunity to love deeply, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Amazing Rain

Anyone who truly knows me (and lives in my neck of the woods), knows I am feeling a bit of Heaven in this moment. Not that I believe it rains in Heaven (maybe it does), but that rain comes from the heavens to not only give the earth what it needs, but to sooth the weary soul and bring calm to the stressed.

Yet...one can be totally calm and without feeling the stresses of life, still enjoy the soothing sounds of rain and the cozy feelings of a soft blanket wrapped so gently around the shoulders. I do love a good rain storm, whether it be while sitting on our back porch reading a good book, or sitting in a coffee shop enjoying the sounds and smells that come from an active environment.

Rain is life-giving and has a very pleasant earthy smell (in my opinion). Not only does it create stunning visual effects on everything it touches. it also represents renewal and purification. Did you know there are negative ions that come from rain? Those negative ions are what creates the positive effects (soothing the weary) we feel as we listen to the beating down on solid surfaces. Spiritually speaking, rain symbolizes new beginnings. It's all good and welcomed. Mostly...

But, have you ever considered how something so lovely can become a thing to fear? Even good things, great things, can wear out their welcome when going too far and consuming the very thing it came to refresh. Much like most of life, too much of a good thing can become deadly. There's always two sides to a coin. Am I right?

Don't ask me how I do this. It just seems to happen. My girls have been known to say, "Way to bring it down, Mom." 😂 It's true. I can turn the best scenario upside down just as quickly as it's presented as a good thing. A great thing. I am a sceptic, most would say. But I consider myself to be a realist. A realist that depends so heavily on God's mercy. A realist that walks by faith, even though my eyes and my thoughts invade purity's intention and has to be brought into subjection more than I prefer. Rarely an easy thing to do.

Maybe that is why God asks us to think on these things: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...if anything is excellent or praiseworthy...think about such things." ~Philippians 4:8

Peace in the midst of our present storm. I don't believe in ignoring reality, I just believe our God is greater than what our eyes perceive to be truth. Is truth. As long as we travel this earthly path, there will be troubles. He knows. He experienced it. He overcame it.

Ah...the beautiful, soothing sounds of rain!!!

Always looking at the flip side, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

#myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #theforgottenway #stormydays #amazingrain #soothinggrace

Permanent Brushstrokes

Is it possible to be thoughtful and wise, and also be silly and lighthearted, all wrapped up in one personality? Personally, being of a serious nature, I think not. One is either thoughtful and wise, or one is silly and lighthearted. Our core being is created long before we are able to choose (in my opinion), and it is what we go back to, should we veer off and try our hand at being something we aren't meant to be. 

Yet, can one be of a serious nature, and still enjoy the fun, orneriness of lighthearted people? I think so. But for me, when trying to be funny, I fail big time. I am who I am, I suppose. The question plagues me from time to time, especially when I'm face to face with myself; trying to figure out how I ended up with this always doubtful, always questioning nature: Did traveling the road I did have anything to do with that? Maybe. Or maybe I was just created to be a serious one. We all have a story...a life lived, that begs to be heard. To be of value. Whether that be one of a silly nature, or a serious nature. Just simply to be loved for who we are. Right? Isn't that what we all initially struggle with? At least until we understand who we were created to be. Then, it's a bit easier to embrace and begin the work of aligning ourselves. Becoming the best "me" possible.

This may come as a surprise to many, but I have more quiet moments than loud moments. I'm more of a silent nature than of a verbal one. Surprised, aren't you? Don't misunderstand. I can be decently verbal, given the opportunity to address issues that I am passionate about. I do have "soap boxes" that I love to perch on occasionally. And I love to read. Everything from informative biographies, to fictional thrillers. But I think my most loved are those that ground me. The books I can relate to on a simple human level, figuring out life as we know it to be. Books on perspective. Books that cause me to breathe easy and give hope that I can do better. We can always do better...

An author I love reading is Andy Andrews. You may have heard of him. The books I have of his are these: The Traveler"s Gift, The Noticer, The Noticer Returns, and his latest, Just Jones. I'm reading, for the first time, The Noticer Returns. Call me crazy, but I swear, when I'm needing to hear something of real value, I get this urge to pick up a book I didn't know existed, or revisiting one I've had forever. Within the first few pages of The Noticer Returns, the author gets my full attention.

After a really hard day of cleaning fish on the Gulf Coast, tired, homeless, and cold, the story unravels as the author is making his way back to the Gulf State Park Pier where his shelter is, when he is joined by his friend, Jones. An old man that walks with him a lot and is mostly silent until he has something of value to say. He had a way that made one think in ways they never had considered. Jones could turn anything upside down and sideways until it became perfectly clear and made total sense. After sharing all the frustrations from his day, they came upon a place where there was no way around but to cross through a motel swimming pool area. Trying to be quiet so as not to draw attention, Jones shuffled along as usual as if it didn't matter to him being "caught". As they came upon the pool area, Jones unexpectedly pushed  him in. A few minutes after helping him out, he said, "Son, you are at this very moment in the biggest war you will ever wage in your life. It is confusing, but you're fighting for what you'll one day become. There are forces clashing for space in your head that you don't recognize, can't see, and won't understand until you're able to look back on the whole thing years from now."

Jones continues by saying things like "the little things DO matter", "don't let others convince you not to 'sweat the small stuff'" and the kicker..."When you ignore little things, they often turn into big things that have become a lot harder to handle." Not sweating the small stuff is indeed a lie that can, and most likely will, ruin our lives if we believe it. We just gotta attend to those small things before they become so big it's like chopping away at a mountain, trying to pass through it.

But this quote is what really settled inside me:  "Your choices, your words, and every move you make are permanent. Life is lived in indelible ink, boy. Wake up. You're making little bitty brushstrokes every minute you walk around on this earth. And with those tiny brushstrokes, you are creating the painting that your life will ultimately become...a masterpiece or a disaster."

Most days, we'll get pushed around a bit. Mentally, mostly. Sometimes it's of our own making, other times it's of someone else's mess we've attached ourselves to. It causes us to question the why's and wherefores of life. How we consistently respond to the things we feel to be injustice towards us, abuse, or just plain ole hatefulness coming from someone we believe in, will determine the path we choose to follow for life. 

Side Note: Unexpectedly getting "pushed in the pool" can either be refreshing and a clearing of cobwebs from our brain, bringing truth in focus, or it can be something that causes a deep need to retaliate, to make them pay. But...who are we really hurting if we retaliate, instead first considering the brushstroke we are painting? 

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

 

Legacy

Today has been a day of reckoning. So many thoughts whirling around in my head. Yesterday kicked my booty, so today has been throwing mud and other debris my way, creating a path that needed attention because of the surprises of yesterday.

Entering my study, I picked up a book that keeps yelling at me, as if the fact it sits so quietly on the file cabinet (yes, I still have a file cabinet), has no bearing on the outcome of my day. I began a search for whatever it was wanting to tell me, and it didn't take long before I knew.

"The value of our lives is not determined by what we do for ourselves. The value of our lives is determined by what we do for others." ~Simon Sinek, author of Together is Better

The thought processes from nigh on a year, now, have surrounded what I would leave behind when it's time to say goodbye to planet Earth. What will my legacy look like? What defines a legacy, anyway? What does it really consist of? Doesn't everyone get to the place of focusing on their legacy, at some point? Really focusing? Do they ask the hard questions, like, "Just how long will I be remembered?" "How soon will my voice be forgotten?" "What value was my life while living here?" "Just how much have I messed up?" "Will my grand-babies remember me?" I don't know about your thought processes, but those little neurons that fire inside my brain can, at times, over-ride every thought other than the one being focused on at the moment. And that thought explores the universe of possibilities...until I demand it to stop.

This is my conclusion: If my legacy is to be judged by others, let it be by the character of the children my husband and I have raised and the people we have led, or the impact we had in lives of the people around us. Not by how much money we acquired, or by what financial assets we have. That is what we should aim for. Right? We should live our lives for the legacies we want to leave. By the mark we wish to leave behind for the world.

Just remember...it's a journey, not a leisure walk.

And because of that journey, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Idle Time

Mouth open keeps eyes open 🤣

Having more than a few spare moments today, I thought it might be "fun" to see how much entrance I could gain into the mind of the guy I've been married to for 50 years, 7 months, 6 days, 17 hours, and I'm not exactly sure how many minutes. I highly doubt anyone cares. Even me. However, this type of questioning has been fun in the past, why not see how we've progressed? Right? 😁 

Keep in mind that while the human mind is constantly processing information (regardless of the male species saying they aren't "thinking anything" when asked what they are thinking), there are times when conscious thought takes a pause, allowing for a state of relative mental quietude. So...I'll be gentle with the questioning. LOL. Right...

Here's today's line of questioning:

Q1. Where do you see us in 5, 10, or 20 years?  A1. Probably dead (the kid has a point).

Q2. What are some things you would like to explore or try together in the future?  A2. Nothing (😳)

Q3. What are your biggest fears about our relationship?   A3. One of us dying and leaving the other behind (Agreed).

Q4. How can we improve our communication and intimacy?  A4. Just try. (he hit the nail on the head with this one)

Q5. What are some ways I can support your dreams and goals?  A5. Go on an Alaskan Cruise with me and take a train ride in Alaska...and/or go to Colorado one last time. (Okay. I pick Colorado...but it will need to be a road trip).

Q.6 What is a favorite memory of us together?  A.6 The beach trip to Southport Oak Island, when Chuck gave us the key to his beach house, back in 2019. What a fun trip, meeting the townsfolk, walking down streets lined with amazing shops...and that great coffee shop we found that had the best coffee we've tasted in a long while. Such good memories of that place. Remember the dive we went to on the beach that had a live band?(Yes, dear. I do remember and I totally agree! Thanks again, Chuck!) 

Q7. What do you think is the biggest strength of our relationship?  A.7 We have the same belief system, trust, and loyalty (and I would add perseverance).

Q8. Is there anything you feel like you can't talk to me about?  A8. No (maybe because he knows my response would likely be a very long one, with several rabbit trails because it spurs another thought)

Q9. How do you think I could be a better partner?   A9. Can't think of anything (right 😉😂)

Q10. What's something you've always wanted to know about me but haven't asked?   A10. I know everything about you. (hmmmm...🤔)

I closed the questioning on that point. Do we reallllyyy know everything about each other? Maybe. But I doubt it. It's probably best that way. Some things just need to be between us and God. Those unspeakable events of long ago, don't need rehashing, or dredged up for all to know.

Well, this was fun! Until next time, here you will find me...in Mary's World. 

#lifeissues #ourjourneytogether #memories #beachtrip2019