Problem Solvers

Those who know me, know I can be a bit "high-strung"; easily triggered at times of frustration. Especially when it comes to those who should know what they are selling, before they are allowed to present themselves as professionals.

There are two businesses that I have, in the past, refused to deal with. They both live or die under my husbands control. Insurances and AT&T. However, it seems as if I am getting thrown into the arena of dealing with both, of late. Where's my coffee?

The most recent, was with AT&T. When it comes to our wireless connections, I would rather go to the local brick and mortar store and not deal with using the device to work out a solution to the problem. Why? Because you never know what language you will have to decipher, making it very difficult to understand what is being said...asking for a repeat way too often. One can expect to be weeding through the dialog, as best they can, for at least an hour and a half, ending the conversation with no solution at all. Granted, it's mostly my fault because my patience beings to run on empty by the time I've said, "I'm really sorry, but I have no idea what you just said. Would you mind repeating that?" for the fifth time.

This time around, I was grumbling more than I should have because my online presence was completely messed up; wiped out mostly, with having no access for online bill pay. I couldn't see the actual bill, nor could I see the recent changes that had been made to our wireless account. Our connected plans had disappeared all together.  

But this story is not about that (mainly); but about professionals in the workplace. It seems to be such a rare thing these days, that employees take the time to look at you, or even act as if they really care you are there. Yesterday was different. The first thing upon entering the building, we were both met with a smile, eye contact, and "welcome to AT&T". Even though that first contact was with another couple, working through whatever they were there for, he acknowledged our presence, letting us know they knew we were there. This is exactly what is needed in any business doing business.

In less than a heartbeat, another employee was on her feet, coming our way. Excellent! First step to getting my blood pressure under control...and causing me to think we could possibly get this fixed, once and for all. I would be able to navigate our online presence, again. I had brought my laptop with me, so I could show them exactly what was happening. I seriously don't like using small devises (iPhones), to do business on. And, I figured if they could see what I saw, the problem would be solved much easier than me trying to explain the issue. I had already tried that. Twice. By addressing it on my phone. All that created was more anxiety, which ended with me hanging up on the last poor guy, after the third time answering the same question. I knew a visit to the brick and mortar store was in my future. 

Sooooo...I guess this is a shout out to our local AT&T store on Walnut Street in Cary, NC. Thanks to Christalyn (second contact) and her Assistant Manager (third contact...wish I could remember his name...such a great guy), we were able to walk out with our problem resolved, having been dealt with by kind professionalism. I had no doubt the Assistant Manager knew the answer to our dilemma, because of the confidence he extended by looking at me while I spoke. There was no looking away, no head down, no fiddling with other things while he listened. Just clear eye contact. There was an immediate disarming when met with this very obvious solution-knowledge individual. He was there for one purpose. To fix that which was broken. And the only way one can get there is to first listen to the why, and then proceed with attentiveness. You can always tell when someone is listening to what you are saying, and when they clearly, are not. Yesterday, we hit the jackpot of professionalism. And now my life has meaning...*wink *wink

Loving true and honest connections, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Ambiance That Quietly Speaks Volumes

 

First, we feast with our eyes. Then with our nose. Those two senses alone, tell us if we should relax or tense up. Anytime I step into a business, the first thing that tells me if I want to stay there, is the ambiance the owner, or manager, has created for their guests. The next thing that alerts me is the smell of the place.

Being in business for decades, I have had more than a few clients make comments about how my house must look. The creative strain started many years ago while going through some rough patches. Possibly it was there inside me all along, just waiting to express itself. But once I allowed myself to release it, the desire didn't take long to grow to where I found the need to temper it down, at times. It was my get-away from the norm.

My husband and I have always lived the simple life, catering only to life sustaining needs. In our early years of marriage, we didn't have money to use for the non-essentials. Creativity was all I had to work with, always looking for things to decorate my home with, usually finding them at garage sales or gathering from things others were just throwing away. It didn't take long to have more than enough to fill any nook or cranny I might find.

While packing for the move to NC, much of my treasures got thrown out because of time constraints. I couldn't be in two places at once, so accepted help in sorting and loading for the big move. Couldn't have done it without the generosity shown us. However, without my eye on every little item I had collected over the 39 years of living in Oklahoma, much got lost in the mix of "what to do with this". 

Once in our new home, I went through a range of emotions when I found out that many things I loved were no longer in my possession. But...me being me, it didn't take long to replenish with up-dated, more beautiful, STUFF! Much to my husbands dismay. In our existing shed; his work shed, there are shelves overhead on either side as you walk in. On the right, is my recently closed Elements Salon totes, full of seasonal decorations. All labeled with "Salon Spring/Easter" "Salon Summer" "Salon Fall" & "Salon Christmas". On the left, are totes labeled, "Home Spring/Easter" "Home Summer" "Home Fall" & "Home Christmas". They ALL need to be downsized, once again...

This new season of my life...this new chapter labeled "Retirement" has thrown me a serious curve that I didn't see coming. The drive I once had to decorate every space (inside & out), is beginning to diminish. It feels as if there isn't any real need to go to all the trouble of putting up and taking down just for the two of us. Our girls and grand-girls visit a few times throughout the month, but both daughters have families that are priority and time constraints don't allow for being able to just walk next door to see each other. First of all, they don't live next door, and secondly, life can be super busy when you have a 9-5 and family to tend to. I'm happy they tend well to the necessities of their lives, but it sure does leave a house feeling empty, even though it isn't. 

Now that even the salon is in my rear view mirror; where traffic and praise was plenty and where my ego was stroked a bit, I find myself questioning the importance of it all. And quite frankly, it scares me.

However...my husband and I still enjoy the ambiance, and joy, decorating for each season brings to our lives. So, I will most likely continue to dot our surroundings with items that beckon the senses to enjoy the comings and goings of the seasons as they dance their way through our lives.

After all is said and done, I must admit, the mood set in any shell of a home, speaks volumes as to the mental status of the homes occupants. Creativity is placed inside us all from the time we are being formed and nurtured, inside our mother's womb. It's a God thing. We ALL are created to create. In one way or another. And to worship the only true creative God, in whose image we are made. The master of all things we see. One might say, "But Mary! God didn't create the computer you are typing on. Man did that." To which I would respond, "There is a miraculous network of neurons and matter, created by a loving God, called 'the brain', so that any human desiring to create, can." 

This creative vein I have is so simple, but shows its own worth through the desire it manifests. May it never cease. May I never allow the lack of having crowds who stop to peer into my business studio to take it all in, keep me from creating. I don't know. Maybe God enjoys watching me live out this new chapter. Seeing what I will do with it. Watching, inspiring me, as I navigate this 180.

Slow and steady is my pace these days, but...as always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

What's the Best That Could Happen?

"You always think of the worst thing that could happen, Mom," said my daughter, after yet another caution was uttered by her mother. Always the worrier...

I don't remember just how long ago that sentence was spoken, but it pops up in my head every now and again. When the situation warrants it, I suppose. But she was right. I do. It's the "cover all the basis" in me. It's the need to be safe...to be in control, to be able to confront all the bad that could happen, before it happens. It helps me be prepared. You know...just in case.

I've walked a few miles in my lifetime, and have seen what unpreparedness puts in our hands. I've made a few missteps, a few clearly wrong decisions, to not wish it on anybody. But, once I got my head on straight, I began to see the beauty waiting for me to embrace it. Waiting for me to accept that just possibly there was a best case scenario waiting to place hope in my heart, and that life didn't have to revolve around the fear of all the what-ifs.

When I allowed my shoulders to relax and my lungs to breathe deep, life changed. The seeds of hope actually started somewhere around 1973-74. But I'm guessing it was because of the first 26 years of my life being lived much differently, those weeds of doubt and fear took a bit of time to completely be dug up and destroyed. And still, to this very day, I have to be cautious of allowing the winds of change to blow in a whole new harvest of those weeds.

Being a business owner for 50+ years also taught me a thing or two. One can't, one shouldn't, plan a success story without first evaluating the pit-falls of a start-up plan. One must have enough forward thinking to be prepared for the "what-ifs" while holding onto that vision placed inside your heart for the best-case scenario. 

Over the years, I have heard so much negativity about speaking something into existence. Coming from a charismatic background, "normal" people would make fun of us for believing something could actually come from that mindset. What they didn't understand was the why behind the phrase, and definitely not the how. I never believed we could just say, "Let there be...." like God spoke light into the darkness, and it would be so. Instantly, at least. But, what I DID believe was that I could quote Scripture, the written Word, back to myself and it become so embedded in my spirit that it actually gave birth to belief. And many times that belief led me to speaking something into existence. Stay with me here...

Think about the times you've been successful during your lifetime. Did you ponder whatever it was that caused your heart to beat a little stronger? Did you do research of how you might get from here to there? Did you begin to see the hope of actually getting where you wanted to be? Did you begin to see it more clearly as time wore on? Of course you did! And I would bet that during this time you talked to yourself. You searched for proof you could do whatever it was. You encouraged yourself. You fought back the fear of doubt and defeat, as your heart reached for what seemed impossible. Am I right? If so, then I would say you spoke something into existence.

I read somewhere that if you think you can't, you can't. But, if you think you CAN, you CAN! Over the years my vision became one that believed anything was possible. Anything was reachable if we just believed it was. There would be work to be done, of course. First, we have to convince our minds that it is indeed possible. Then we can begin the process of bringing it to fruition. Nothing is free, but everything is rewarding if done with a pure heart. There must be challenges to see victories.

It is by the work of our hands and the steadfastness of our minds, that we can experience best case scenarios. I would go so far as to say that it is by the renewing of our doubting minds that we attain greatness. That our vision changes enough to be able to see the "what-ifs" as only flies surrounding stagnant thinking. Yes, we must face those what-ifs so that we may be at least somewhat prepared when flies begin to swarm. And they will. We must have an alternate route, a plan for dumping the stagnant and beginning anew with fresh vision for those times we make wrong choices. Challenges will always present themselves. Such is life. It's always the darkest before the dawn. 

Having always been a risk taker, I've built. I've risked. I've won. I've lost. I've learned plenty. Looking back I can see that it was the times of believing I could do anything I put my mind to, success came. Just as we "eat with our eyes before we eat with our mouths", so it is with whatever our spirit prompts us to do. We first see it within our mind, begin to speak it with our mouth, then put our hands to the task. 

What's the best that could happen? Keep those weeds of doubt to a minimum! If they become over-grown, we have a problem.

Speaking hope...speaking life into my journey, here you will find me...in Mary's World. #myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #ICanDoAllThings #thebestoflife #fightingfear 

Bumps in the Road?

"Is it a mountain to climb, or is it just a bump in the road, Mary?" A question Becky used to ask when I was facing another challenge. When discouragement sat in and helpless feelings came front and center, she would toss bits of wisdom my way, bits of guidance, that would settle into the brain waves as I considered "what now?"

Life is never without its challenges. Even for a life well lived. Mostly for a life well lived. It's how wisdom grows. When we face reality, but depend on grace as we ask ourselves, "Is it a mountain, or just a bump in the road?" 

Our reaction to difficulties as they vagabond themselves into our business; into our normal day-to-day lives, will create wholeness or brokenness. Brokenness is not always a bad thing, but can become undesirable if we wallow too long in it. At some point we must lift our eyes and get to work building, or re-building that which seems impossible. That which was never in the scope of our vision. That which seems to have been handed to us unexpectedly. A new chapter. A flipped page in our book of life. That which seems to have come from God's hands, yet with the question attached, "What will you do with this?"

With new things...different things...comes new challenges, different challenges that you know very little about. Talk about getting out of your comfort zone! I've heard that life awaits at the edge of our comfort zone. I'm questioning that, at this moment. I'm expecting great things, for sure. But for goodness sake! How on earth will I get from here to there? I will figure it out, but does it really need to be so difficult? I'm probably over-thinking this. That's how I operate.

I also think God must be laughing at me, right about now. I have voiced, carelessly, at times, "I love a good challenge!" Which is true, by the way, but maybe I forgot that God is always listening. Pretty sure I did.  Okay, Mary! Here ya go! Try this challenge out and let's see how long it takes you to conform to your new reality. I keep repeating, "Baby steps. Baby steps." My fast walking days seem to have been put on hold, at least for the time being.

Knowing He is always for my good, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

#chasinglife #lifeissues #theforgottenway #myjourneyamongtheunseen #beautyoflife #newchallenges #hairworksversesgardening

What Crumbled Your Cookie?

Something I have noticed over these past 7 (almost 8) decades of living, is that regret is a tough cookie to un-crumble. One can't change the past, from where the actions took place that caused regret to settle into our bones. That's why it's a wound that doesn't seem to ever heal.

We can use the tired, old adage, "I'm not perfect; I'm only human," to excuse our past (or present) behavior, but we all know that is only refusing to accept responsibility for our actions, or lack thereof. It's a conversation that gets old the more we have to address it. If we could just take responsibility for our actions, apologize if necessary and begin to restore trust, then possibly the crumble will stop and regret would become less prominent in our lives.

Whole cookies seem to taste sweeter. Right? They seem to be tastier, more satisfying. Wouldn't you agree? Better than if they have been crumbled. Yet, adversity does have its advantages. It trains us, prepares us, matures us. Even though it's not always a good thing, it can also cause disparity, feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, and self-image issues that accompanies a "less-than" image. To rise above it, we must see the value that is within us. Not only to ourselves, but to those around us. We must learn to walk upon the injustices of a life lived without purpose. There is, most definitely, value in the crumbled cookie. Much like a cracked pot, that light shines through.

For instance: Have you ever enjoyed a scoop of ice cream with crumbled cookies added to it? Have you ever been grateful for the last crumbled pieces, swiped off the counter, when needing something sweet to cut the sting of hot salsa? How about being allowed to have the last crumble of a broken cookie? Metaphorically, there are times we may feel like a crumbled cookie because of being the target of abuse...yet, all we have to remember is that our sweetness extends beyond what it was when we were whole.

The flip of this coin, is that we remain a victim of what we felt to be injustice. Not only does it keep us from what God intended for our lives, but it also causes us to continue the behavior that caused us to be broken in the first place. We can run, but we can't hide. And, at some point, we will have to face truth and break a cycle if need be, of what was. Allow ourselves to be different. To be whole, renewed. To be grateful...

For restoration, we must first take responsibility for what caused the regret in the first place, or place it where it belongs. There is no need to explain why we did, or said, the things that wound. That is only an action to protect ourselves and is seen as us saying it really wasn't our fault. "Because of blah, blah, blah, I did this (or that)." No. Stop making excuses for the why. Take responsibility!

There may be no place of forgiveness for what we have caused, but we must move forward if there is to be any resemblance of a life well lived. To correct our steps...our thoughts that create action, is to say and do every good thing possible; to do and say and express this to those we love. Daily. Break the cycle of bad behavior. Because there isn't always time to whisper good-bye. To allow love to be seen, and felt, is good. It's what keeps us focused...because there isn't always time to whisper good-bye.

Grateful for the grace I have received, and the opportunity to love deeply, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Amazing Rain

Anyone who truly knows me (and lives in my neck of the woods), knows I am feeling a bit of Heaven in this moment. Not that I believe it rains in Heaven (maybe it does), but that rain comes from the heavens to not only give the earth what it needs, but to sooth the weary soul and bring calm to the stressed.

Yet...one can be totally calm and without feeling the stresses of life, still enjoy the soothing sounds of rain and the cozy feelings of a soft blanket wrapped so gently around the shoulders. I do love a good rain storm, whether it be while sitting on our back porch reading a good book, or sitting in a coffee shop enjoying the sounds and smells that come from an active environment.

Rain is life-giving and has a very pleasant earthy smell (in my opinion). Not only does it create stunning visual effects on everything it touches. it also represents renewal and purification. Did you know there are negative ions that come from rain? Those negative ions are what creates the positive effects (soothing the weary) we feel as we listen to the beating down on solid surfaces. Spiritually speaking, rain symbolizes new beginnings. It's all good and welcomed. Mostly...

But, have you ever considered how something so lovely can become a thing to fear? Even good things, great things, can wear out their welcome when going too far and consuming the very thing it came to refresh. Much like most of life, too much of a good thing can become deadly. There's always two sides to a coin. Am I right?

Don't ask me how I do this. It just seems to happen. My girls have been known to say, "Way to bring it down, Mom." 😂 It's true. I can turn the best scenario upside down just as quickly as it's presented as a good thing. A great thing. I am a sceptic, most would say. But I consider myself to be a realist. A realist that depends so heavily on God's mercy. A realist that walks by faith, even though my eyes and my thoughts invade purity's intention and has to be brought into subjection more than I prefer. Rarely an easy thing to do.

Maybe that is why God asks us to think on these things: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...if anything is excellent or praiseworthy...think about such things." ~Philippians 4:8

Peace in the midst of our present storm. I don't believe in ignoring reality, I just believe our God is greater than what our eyes perceive to be truth. Is truth. As long as we travel this earthly path, there will be troubles. He knows. He experienced it. He overcame it.

Ah...the beautiful, soothing sounds of rain!!!

Always looking at the flip side, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

#myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #theforgottenway #stormydays #amazingrain #soothinggrace

Permanent Brushstrokes

Is it possible to be thoughtful and wise, and also be silly and lighthearted, all wrapped up in one personality? Personally, being of a serious nature, I think not. One is either thoughtful and wise, or one is silly and lighthearted. Our core being is created long before we are able to choose (in my opinion), and it is what we go back to, should we veer off and try our hand at being something we aren't meant to be. 

Yet, can one be of a serious nature, and still enjoy the fun, orneriness of lighthearted people? I think so. But for me, when trying to be funny, I fail big time. I am who I am, I suppose. The question plagues me from time to time, especially when I'm face to face with myself; trying to figure out how I ended up with this always doubtful, always questioning nature: Did traveling the road I did have anything to do with that? Maybe. Or maybe I was just created to be a serious one. We all have a story...a life lived, that begs to be heard. To be of value. Whether that be one of a silly nature, or a serious nature. Just simply to be loved for who we are. Right? Isn't that what we all initially struggle with? At least until we understand who we were created to be. Then, it's a bit easier to embrace and begin the work of aligning ourselves. Becoming the best "me" possible.

This may come as a surprise to many, but I have more quiet moments than loud moments. I'm more of a silent nature than of a verbal one. Surprised, aren't you? Don't misunderstand. I can be decently verbal, given the opportunity to address issues that I am passionate about. I do have "soap boxes" that I love to perch on occasionally. And I love to read. Everything from informative biographies, to fictional thrillers. But I think my most loved are those that ground me. The books I can relate to on a simple human level, figuring out life as we know it to be. Books on perspective. Books that cause me to breathe easy and give hope that I can do better. We can always do better...

An author I love reading is Andy Andrews. You may have heard of him. The books I have of his are these: The Traveler"s Gift, The Noticer, The Noticer Returns, and his latest, Just Jones. I'm reading, for the first time, The Noticer Returns. Call me crazy, but I swear, when I'm needing to hear something of real value, I get this urge to pick up a book I didn't know existed, or revisiting one I've had forever. Within the first few pages of The Noticer Returns, the author gets my full attention.

After a really hard day of cleaning fish on the Gulf Coast, tired, homeless, and cold, the story unravels as the author is making his way back to the Gulf State Park Pier where his shelter is, when he is joined by his friend, Jones. An old man that walks with him a lot and is mostly silent until he has something of value to say. He had a way that made one think in ways they never had considered. Jones could turn anything upside down and sideways until it became perfectly clear and made total sense. After sharing all the frustrations from his day, they came upon a place where there was no way around but to cross through a motel swimming pool area. Trying to be quiet so as not to draw attention, Jones shuffled along as usual as if it didn't matter to him being "caught". As they came upon the pool area, Jones unexpectedly pushed  him in. A few minutes after helping him out, he said, "Son, you are at this very moment in the biggest war you will ever wage in your life. It is confusing, but you're fighting for what you'll one day become. There are forces clashing for space in your head that you don't recognize, can't see, and won't understand until you're able to look back on the whole thing years from now."

Jones continues by saying things like "the little things DO matter", "don't let others convince you not to 'sweat the small stuff'" and the kicker..."When you ignore little things, they often turn into big things that have become a lot harder to handle." Not sweating the small stuff is indeed a lie that can, and most likely will, ruin our lives if we believe it. We just gotta attend to those small things before they become so big it's like chopping away at a mountain, trying to pass through it.

But this quote is what really settled inside me:  "Your choices, your words, and every move you make are permanent. Life is lived in indelible ink, boy. Wake up. You're making little bitty brushstrokes every minute you walk around on this earth. And with those tiny brushstrokes, you are creating the painting that your life will ultimately become...a masterpiece or a disaster."

Most days, we'll get pushed around a bit. Mentally, mostly. Sometimes it's of our own making, other times it's of someone else's mess we've attached ourselves to. It causes us to question the why's and wherefores of life. How we consistently respond to the things we feel to be injustice towards us, abuse, or just plain ole hatefulness coming from someone we believe in, will determine the path we choose to follow for life. 

Side Note: Unexpectedly getting "pushed in the pool" can either be refreshing and a clearing of cobwebs from our brain, bringing truth in focus, or it can be something that causes a deep need to retaliate, to make them pay. But...who are we really hurting if we retaliate, instead first considering the brushstroke we are painting? 

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.