Bumps in the Road?

"Is it a mountain to climb, or is it just a bump in the road, Mary?" A question Becky used to ask when I was facing another challenge. When discouragement sat in and helpless feelings came front and center, she would toss bits of wisdom my way, bits of guidance, that would settle into the brain waves as I considered "what now?"

Life is never without its challenges. Even for a life well lived. Mostly for a life well lived. It's how wisdom grows. When we face reality, but depend on grace as we ask ourselves, "Is it a mountain, or just a bump in the road?" 

Our reaction to difficulties as they vagabond themselves into our business; into our normal day-to-day lives, will create wholeness or brokenness. Brokenness is not always a bad thing, but can become undesirable if we wallow too long in it. At some point we must lift our eyes and get to work building, or re-building that which seems impossible. That which was never in the scope of our vision. That which seems to have been handed to us unexpectedly. A new chapter. A flipped page in our book of life. That which seems to have come from God's hands, yet with the question attached, "What will you do with this?"

With new things...different things...comes new challenges, different challenges that you know very little about. Talk about getting out of your comfort zone! I've heard that life awaits at the edge of our comfort zone. I'm questioning that, at this moment. I'm expecting great things, for sure. But for goodness sake! How on earth will I get from here to there? I will figure it out, but does it really need to be so difficult? I'm probably over-thinking this. That's how I operate.

I also think God must be laughing at me, right about now. I have voiced, carelessly, at times, "I love a good challenge!" Which is true, by the way, but maybe I forgot that God is always listening. Pretty sure I did.  Okay, Mary! Here ya go! Try this challenge out and let's see how long it takes you to conform to your new reality. I keep repeating, "Baby steps. Baby steps." My fast walking days seem to have been put on hold, at least for the time being.

Knowing He is always for my good, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

#chasinglife #lifeissues #theforgottenway #myjourneyamongtheunseen #beautyoflife #newchallenges #hairworksversesgardening

What Crumbled Your Cookie?

Something I have noticed over these past 7 (almost 8) decades of living, is that regret is a tough cookie to un-crumble. One can't change the past, from where the actions took place that caused regret to settle into our bones. That's why it's a wound that doesn't seem to ever heal.

We can use the tired, old adage, "I'm not perfect; I'm only human," to excuse our past (or present) behavior, but we all know that is only refusing to accept responsibility for our actions, or lack thereof. It's a conversation that gets old the more we have to address it. If we could just take responsibility for our actions, apologize if necessary and begin to restore trust, then possibly the crumble will stop and regret would become less prominent in our lives.

Whole cookies seem to taste sweeter. Right? They seem to be tastier, more satisfying. Wouldn't you agree? Better than if they have been crumbled. Yet, adversity does have its advantages. It trains us, prepares us, matures us. Even though it's not always a good thing, it can also cause disparity, feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, and self-image issues that accompanies a "less-than" image. To rise above it, we must see the value that is within us. Not only to ourselves, but to those around us. We must learn to walk upon the injustices of a life lived without purpose. There is, most definitely, value in the crumbled cookie. Much like a cracked pot, that light shines through.

For instance: Have you ever enjoyed a scoop of ice cream with crumbled cookies added to it? Have you ever been grateful for the last crumbled pieces, swiped off the counter, when needing something sweet to cut the sting of hot salsa? How about being allowed to have the last crumble of a broken cookie? Metaphorically, there are times we may feel like a crumbled cookie because of being the target of abuse...yet, all we have to remember is that our sweetness extends beyond what it was when we were whole.

The flip of this coin, is that we remain a victim of what we felt to be injustice. Not only does it keep us from what God intended for our lives, but it also causes us to continue the behavior that caused us to be broken in the first place. We can run, but we can't hide. And, at some point, we will have to face truth and break a cycle if need be, of what was. Allow ourselves to be different. To be whole, renewed. To be grateful...

For restoration, we must first take responsibility for what caused the regret in the first place, or place it where it belongs. There is no need to explain why we did, or said, the things that wound. That is only an action to protect ourselves and is seen as us saying it really wasn't our fault. "Because of blah, blah, blah, I did this (or that)." No. Stop making excuses for the why. Take responsibility!

There may be no place of forgiveness for what we have caused, but we must move forward if there is to be any resemblance of a life well lived. To correct our steps...our thoughts that create action, is to say and do every good thing possible; to do and say and express this to those we love. Daily. Break the cycle of bad behavior. Because there isn't always time to whisper good-bye. To allow love to be seen, and felt, is good. It's what keeps us focused...because there isn't always time to whisper good-bye.

Grateful for the grace I have received, and the opportunity to love deeply, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Amazing Rain

Anyone who truly knows me (and lives in my neck of the woods), knows I am feeling a bit of Heaven in this moment. Not that I believe it rains in Heaven (maybe it does), but that rain comes from the heavens to not only give the earth what it needs, but to sooth the weary soul and bring calm to the stressed.

Yet...one can be totally calm and without feeling the stresses of life, still enjoy the soothing sounds of rain and the cozy feelings of a soft blanket wrapped so gently around the shoulders. I do love a good rain storm, whether it be while sitting on our back porch reading a good book, or sitting in a coffee shop enjoying the sounds and smells that come from an active environment.

Rain is life-giving and has a very pleasant earthy smell (in my opinion). Not only does it create stunning visual effects on everything it touches. it also represents renewal and purification. Did you know there are negative ions that come from rain? Those negative ions are what creates the positive effects (soothing the weary) we feel as we listen to the beating down on solid surfaces. Spiritually speaking, rain symbolizes new beginnings. It's all good and welcomed. Mostly...

But, have you ever considered how something so lovely can become a thing to fear? Even good things, great things, can wear out their welcome when going too far and consuming the very thing it came to refresh. Much like most of life, too much of a good thing can become deadly. There's always two sides to a coin. Am I right?

Don't ask me how I do this. It just seems to happen. My girls have been known to say, "Way to bring it down, Mom." 😂 It's true. I can turn the best scenario upside down just as quickly as it's presented as a good thing. A great thing. I am a sceptic, most would say. But I consider myself to be a realist. A realist that depends so heavily on God's mercy. A realist that walks by faith, even though my eyes and my thoughts invade purity's intention and has to be brought into subjection more than I prefer. Rarely an easy thing to do.

Maybe that is why God asks us to think on these things: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...if anything is excellent or praiseworthy...think about such things." ~Philippians 4:8

Peace in the midst of our present storm. I don't believe in ignoring reality, I just believe our God is greater than what our eyes perceive to be truth. Is truth. As long as we travel this earthly path, there will be troubles. He knows. He experienced it. He overcame it.

Ah...the beautiful, soothing sounds of rain!!!

Always looking at the flip side, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

#myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #theforgottenway #stormydays #amazingrain #soothinggrace

Permanent Brushstrokes

Is it possible to be thoughtful and wise, and also be silly and lighthearted, all wrapped up in one personality? Personally, being of a serious nature, I think not. One is either thoughtful and wise, or one is silly and lighthearted. Our core being is created long before we are able to choose (in my opinion), and it is what we go back to, should we veer off and try our hand at being something we aren't meant to be. 

Yet, can one be of a serious nature, and still enjoy the fun, orneriness of lighthearted people? I think so. But for me, when trying to be funny, I fail big time. I am who I am, I suppose. The question plagues me from time to time, especially when I'm face to face with myself; trying to figure out how I ended up with this always doubtful, always questioning nature: Did traveling the road I did have anything to do with that? Maybe. Or maybe I was just created to be a serious one. We all have a story...a life lived, that begs to be heard. To be of value. Whether that be one of a silly nature, or a serious nature. Just simply to be loved for who we are. Right? Isn't that what we all initially struggle with? At least until we understand who we were created to be. Then, it's a bit easier to embrace and begin the work of aligning ourselves. Becoming the best "me" possible.

This may come as a surprise to many, but I have more quiet moments than loud moments. I'm more of a silent nature than of a verbal one. Surprised, aren't you? Don't misunderstand. I can be decently verbal, given the opportunity to address issues that I am passionate about. I do have "soap boxes" that I love to perch on occasionally. And I love to read. Everything from informative biographies, to fictional thrillers. But I think my most loved are those that ground me. The books I can relate to on a simple human level, figuring out life as we know it to be. Books on perspective. Books that cause me to breathe easy and give hope that I can do better. We can always do better...

An author I love reading is Andy Andrews. You may have heard of him. The books I have of his are these: The Traveler"s Gift, The Noticer, The Noticer Returns, and his latest, Just Jones. I'm reading, for the first time, The Noticer Returns. Call me crazy, but I swear, when I'm needing to hear something of real value, I get this urge to pick up a book I didn't know existed, or revisiting one I've had forever. Within the first few pages of The Noticer Returns, the author gets my full attention.

After a really hard day of cleaning fish on the Gulf Coast, tired, homeless, and cold, the story unravels as the author is making his way back to the Gulf State Park Pier where his shelter is, when he is joined by his friend, Jones. An old man that walks with him a lot and is mostly silent until he has something of value to say. He had a way that made one think in ways they never had considered. Jones could turn anything upside down and sideways until it became perfectly clear and made total sense. After sharing all the frustrations from his day, they came upon a place where there was no way around but to cross through a motel swimming pool area. Trying to be quiet so as not to draw attention, Jones shuffled along as usual as if it didn't matter to him being "caught". As they came upon the pool area, Jones unexpectedly pushed  him in. A few minutes after helping him out, he said, "Son, you are at this very moment in the biggest war you will ever wage in your life. It is confusing, but you're fighting for what you'll one day become. There are forces clashing for space in your head that you don't recognize, can't see, and won't understand until you're able to look back on the whole thing years from now."

Jones continues by saying things like "the little things DO matter", "don't let others convince you not to 'sweat the small stuff'" and the kicker..."When you ignore little things, they often turn into big things that have become a lot harder to handle." Not sweating the small stuff is indeed a lie that can, and most likely will, ruin our lives if we believe it. We just gotta attend to those small things before they become so big it's like chopping away at a mountain, trying to pass through it.

But this quote is what really settled inside me:  "Your choices, your words, and every move you make are permanent. Life is lived in indelible ink, boy. Wake up. You're making little bitty brushstrokes every minute you walk around on this earth. And with those tiny brushstrokes, you are creating the painting that your life will ultimately become...a masterpiece or a disaster."

Most days, we'll get pushed around a bit. Mentally, mostly. Sometimes it's of our own making, other times it's of someone else's mess we've attached ourselves to. It causes us to question the why's and wherefores of life. How we consistently respond to the things we feel to be injustice towards us, abuse, or just plain ole hatefulness coming from someone we believe in, will determine the path we choose to follow for life. 

Side Note: Unexpectedly getting "pushed in the pool" can either be refreshing and a clearing of cobwebs from our brain, bringing truth in focus, or it can be something that causes a deep need to retaliate, to make them pay. But...who are we really hurting if we retaliate, instead first considering the brushstroke we are painting? 

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

 

Legacy

Today has been a day of reckoning. So many thoughts whirling around in my head. Yesterday kicked my booty, so today has been throwing mud and other debris my way, creating a path that needed attention because of the surprises of yesterday.

Entering my study, I picked up a book that keeps yelling at me, as if the fact it sits so quietly on the file cabinet (yes, I still have a file cabinet), has no bearing on the outcome of my day. I began a search for whatever it was wanting to tell me, and it didn't take long before I knew.

"The value of our lives is not determined by what we do for ourselves. The value of our lives is determined by what we do for others." ~Simon Sinek, author of Together is Better

The thought processes from nigh on a year, now, have surrounded what I would leave behind when it's time to say goodbye to planet Earth. What will my legacy look like? What defines a legacy, anyway? What does it really consist of? Doesn't everyone get to the place of focusing on their legacy, at some point? Really focusing? Do they ask the hard questions, like, "Just how long will I be remembered?" "How soon will my voice be forgotten?" "What value was my life while living here?" "Just how much have I messed up?" "Will my grand-babies remember me?" I don't know about your thought processes, but those little neurons that fire inside my brain can, at times, over-ride every thought other than the one being focused on at the moment. And that thought explores the universe of possibilities...until I demand it to stop.

This is my conclusion: If my legacy is to be judged by others, let it be by the character of the children my husband and I have raised and the people we have led, or the impact we had in lives of the people around us. Not by how much money we acquired, or by what financial assets we have. That is what we should aim for. Right? We should live our lives for the legacies we want to leave. By the mark we wish to leave behind for the world.

Just remember...it's a journey, not a leisure walk.

And because of that journey, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Idle Time

Mouth open keeps eyes open 🤣

Having more than a few spare moments today, I thought it might be "fun" to see how much entrance I could gain into the mind of the guy I've been married to for 50 years, 7 months, 6 days, 17 hours, and I'm not exactly sure how many minutes. I highly doubt anyone cares. Even me. However, this type of questioning has been fun in the past, why not see how we've progressed? Right? 😁 

Keep in mind that while the human mind is constantly processing information (regardless of the male species saying they aren't "thinking anything" when asked what they are thinking), there are times when conscious thought takes a pause, allowing for a state of relative mental quietude. So...I'll be gentle with the questioning. LOL. Right...

Here's today's line of questioning:

Q1. Where do you see us in 5, 10, or 20 years?  A1. Probably dead (the kid has a point).

Q2. What are some things you would like to explore or try together in the future?  A2. Nothing (😳)

Q3. What are your biggest fears about our relationship?   A3. One of us dying and leaving the other behind (Agreed).

Q4. How can we improve our communication and intimacy?  A4. Just try. (he hit the nail on the head with this one)

Q5. What are some ways I can support your dreams and goals?  A5. Go on an Alaskan Cruise with me and take a train ride in Alaska...and/or go to Colorado one last time. (Okay. I pick Colorado...but it will need to be a road trip).

Q.6 What is a favorite memory of us together?  A.6 The beach trip to Southport Oak Island, when Chuck gave us the key to his beach house, back in 2019. What a fun trip, meeting the townsfolk, walking down streets lined with amazing shops...and that great coffee shop we found that had the best coffee we've tasted in a long while. Such good memories of that place. Remember the dive we went to on the beach that had a live band?(Yes, dear. I do remember and I totally agree! Thanks again, Chuck!) 

Q7. What do you think is the biggest strength of our relationship?  A.7 We have the same belief system, trust, and loyalty (and I would add perseverance).

Q8. Is there anything you feel like you can't talk to me about?  A8. No (maybe because he knows my response would likely be a very long one, with several rabbit trails because it spurs another thought)

Q9. How do you think I could be a better partner?   A9. Can't think of anything (right 😉😂)

Q10. What's something you've always wanted to know about me but haven't asked?   A10. I know everything about you. (hmmmm...🤔)

I closed the questioning on that point. Do we reallllyyy know everything about each other? Maybe. But I doubt it. It's probably best that way. Some things just need to be between us and God. Those unspeakable events of long ago, don't need rehashing, or dredged up for all to know.

Well, this was fun! Until next time, here you will find me...in Mary's World. 

#lifeissues #ourjourneytogether #memories #beachtrip2019 

 

Thaumatophyllum Bipinnatifidum's Beauty

Love the title of this blog? Yeah. I know. Why not use simple identifiers that will point to the information coming up? Wellll....these days I'm feeling less than connected to the many human minds I once was, while in the fray of a personal business adventure of many a year. And while I'm very happy with the decision of "retirement," talking with those from various nations on a consistent basis, brought a sense of deep observation and inspiration, that I no longer get to experience. So, to keep some kind of resemblance to what I was accustomed to, I find myself diving a bit deeper into areas that may give me a better view of what my hand is finding to do these days. 

I'm still in awe of this change, this pivot in life. Never in a million years would I have dreamed of building a greenhouse so that we might have year-round fruits and veggies. Over the last couple of years I have toyed with the thought of purchasing a small portable greenhouse...the plastic enclosure kind...just so I might have a place for my gigantic Thaumatophyllum bipinnatifidum (Tree Philodendron) house plant, during the winters chill. Instead of visiting with humans, I now visit with plants. It's a little one-sided, so I rely on the internet to feed me information. 🤣

This particular beauty stays outside in a shaded area during the warm months, where plenty of light is there for her...just indirectly. She loves it! Within a couple of years she has grown so large that her leaves take up 3/4 of our 11x14 Library Room. The picture here, is of an almost new round of leaves that she has produced for us. I lost many of the gigantic ones during the transition trauma of going back outside, but she is recovering nicely. First year that has happened and I'm not sure why. Glad she forgave me!

The beauty she brings to our home is indescribable, at least for me. Dennis even loves the look and quality air she brings to our home. BUT...I don't think I'll be able to bring her in this winter, simply because this type of Philly likes temps between 70°-90° and it's been all I can do to keep her happy when she must be inside, surrounded by four man-made walls. If it hadn't been for the flooding of indirect sunlight, she may have pouted more than she did, and even though this philly is decently easy to maintain, she is demanding of balanced temps...that one. Hopefully, the newly-built greenhouse will allow her extended foliage to grace its protective walls and we will both be happy when the temps fall below 50°. Still, I think I will miss the ambiance she gives inside our library room.

Learning more about plant life, here you will find me...in Mary's World. #lifeissues #myjourneyamongtheseen #plantlife #myworldofplants