The Invisible Line

"Better late, than never," is a well-known proverb. Some arrive late, but that's okay because at least they arrive. Right?

It seems an invisible line has been drawn that one crosses without realizing it, until the moment of truth slaps them in the face. So to speak. Within the last week, I have visited two separate (very separate), establishments. For the record, I was neither late nor early, to each of these places. I was right on time. My time.

Last night, I became fully aware (once again) of that elusive, invisible line, that one crosses as they travel life's roadways. Late, or otherwise. You know the one I speak of. It's that place of tranquility, instead of clamored chaos. It's the "would you please turn that music down a couple hundred notches," place. It's that "Sorry. What did you say?" place. Good grief. I couldn't even think of how to subtract a simple equation because the noise was sooooo LOUD in the place. To make matters worse, the girl at checkout had the voice volume equivalency to that of a mouse, while your "final experience" guy shouted (yes, shouted), your name when the order was ready. I'm pretty sure it was because that would be the only way one would ever come to the counter to pick up their order of the day.

Oh, don't get me wrong. Oblivion is a place I rarely allow myself to visit but have been known to take a trip or two, there. Truth be told, I have been accused of actually living in the fantasy world of explosive reality, obscured only by the untrained mind. Chew on THAT statement for awhile...

The Yang of last nights Yin experience, happened only last week. And, if you know anything about Yin and Yang, you'll totally understand my statement. Just let me say I'm not a bit surprised by the actual definition of Yin and Yang. "Two principles, one negative, dark, and FEMININE (yin...uh-huh), and one positive, bright, and MASCULINE (yang...go figure). Describes me and my husband, to a T!!! Yeah. I know. I'm pretty sure that was Eve's fault.

Anyway, my husband and I had decided to visit a new restaurant in Cary, just last week. It looked promising, as we walked into an atmosphere of visual tranquility. Not saying it was spa-like, but it was spa-like. Almost. From the moment we walked in until our heels lifted off the exit step, our 5 senses enjoyed a quiet dance that those who have crossed the invisible line from chaos to tranquility, understandably want to be. It wasn't boring. Just peaceful. A place in which one could breathe without the heart rate jumping through the roof, or having the need for Advil. A place where your Northern extremity didn't need to be held, but one could actually have a conversation with oneself...if need be.

These two establishments that both offer exciting dishes for the palate are almost total opposites. If I were Lady Justice, I do believe the scale would tip in favor of the spa. Yeah. It's that invisible line, and I don't like headaches. Clearly, they both have their targeted audiences. 

The moral to this story? Never despise the quiet places. Soon enough you'll be visiting them as well. THEN, you will understand that crazy invisible line was there for a reason. We can deny it's there, and try convincing ourselves we are still 30 years younger than what we actually are, as we vehemently proclaim, "BRING IT ON!" But...it's there regardless. Our brain knows it's there, it's just not "in your face" obvious. And one day, you too will step over it and really, really, love it!

One last thing. You will know if you've arrived on time, or if you're shamefully late. But, you WILL arrive. Vertically, or horizontally. (Did I just go morbid there?)

Ahhhh...living the life, here you'll find me. Here, in Mary's World.

So, You Just Want to be Happy

Sometimes it takes a few years of living in the last season of one's life, to get a grasp on true happiness. I've lived many a year thinking happiness comes from the results of another person being what I needed them to be...for me. Tell me what I want to hear, rub my back, pick up your dirty clothes, put your shoes where they belong...did I know this about you before I married you? And happiness also came from the purchase of "things". Sometimes small purchases would do the trick. A collectors item, a new outfit, pretty flowers. Other times, it only came from big purchases. Like a new living room suite, bedroom upgrade, new car...well, you get the picture.

If I could leave this world with one piece of advise to young married couples...even the non-married, living-together (cra-cra) people, it would be what I'm about to say now, with full knowledge that I will possibly get a lot of negative feed-back from those that take the time to read. And possibly, a few kudos...

It's been said that we make our own happiness. I may buy into that only a little. If we aren't happy with ourselves, our own lives, it's doubtful we'll have the ability (within ourselves) to be truly happy. Having said that, one cannot live in happy bliss 24/7. Without allowing ourselves to experience life, all of life, we never grow. Never acquire understanding. Never experiencing fulfillment.

God knew. God created. God graced us with the ability to touch His heart, as HE touches ours. To obey His way of life. In that...we find true, fulfilling happiness. In that, life's shortfalls, life's disappointments, life's unexpected events, become a place we can still have true happiness. If it weren't for that, I would be sad most of the time. Others fail me. I fail others. Others have crazy quirks that I can't be around for long periods of time. I have crazy quirks that others can't be around for long periods of time. So?

Please stop saying, "I just want to be happy," if you insist on making it about other's short-comings. Of course we want to be happy. God created happy for us! Those endorphins that people yearn for, and often seek through medication, can be ours at any given time. Without false positives.

Yes, it is true. Many times I do not have a smile on my face. I am a very serious thinker, that often appears to be mad. I am not. Please don't ask me what is wrong. And don't tell me to calm down. I'm thinking...just thinking. Sometimes I think out loud. It doesn't mean I'm mad. Geez...I would have to think long and hard to remember the last time I was seriously mad. Aggravated, maybe, but a long way from mad.

There is so much at stake here. It doesn't mean I am not contented. And many times it does not mean I am unhappy. Sometimes I am unhappy. Sometimes, I allow myself to worry, then I'm reminded that my God is so much bigger than my concerns. He's got this. I don't have to worry. I pray. I pray a lot, knowing that my God loves those I pray for. Knowing He loves me. Knowing He honors mother's and grandmother's whose heart (and anyone's heart, actually) belongs to Him.
         
II Chronicles 16:9 says, "The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." In the good times, in the bad times, in the indifferent times...God will strengthen our hearts and make us glad. Happy. It doesn't come (and stick around) from husbands, wives, daughters, sons, in-laws, friends.  

So, stop it. Please stop it. If I hear it one more time..."I just have to make sure I'm happy," I think I'll croak (some would possible rejoice at that moment). 

Instead, how about saying, "What can I do today to please the heart of God?" When we follow His ways, we tend to become happy people. Giving people. The world stops revolving around us. But to get there, we must travel a few self-centered roads it seems. At the end of those roads we just might bump right into truth. God's truth, that takes us a while to learn. Because we are lazy. Because we are self-centered humanity. Because our eyes are on what others can do for us, instead of what we can do for others. Because we give up way too easily. Because we aren't willing to fight for truth. 

"Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." ~Matthew 7:13-14. God tells us that self-centeredness is common, but leads to a destructive life style, and that godliness (right living) is found from a very uncommon place. One must cut down the thicket, so-to-speak, to find the path that will give a full and complete life. Sadly, we often take the easy way out, right? No thicket clearing for me. I'm too busy making sure I'm happy with false positives. With temporary happiness. Right?

Life can be hard as we try to find the over-grown path. The forgotten way. Heads up...work is not a dirty word. Work is rewarding...in many a way.

And this, folks...is what came flooding into my heart this morning as I prepared breakfast, here...in Mary's World.

The Freedom and Bondage of Being Alone

We were never meant to be alone. Yet, many are. God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created a helper fit for him. (Gen. 2:18).

I know we women-folk believe (at times) we don't need a man. We believe enough in ourselves to think what needs to be done, we can do. After all, we're the ones created to "help", right? But I've watched, over the years, as strong women with this view, become lonely women, in time. They say they're not...yet it's visible in their eyes. Truth is, it makes life worth so much more when we have someone to share it with. Someone we are suited for. Someone to share in our joys, our sorrows, our fears, our achievements. Someone to share life and all it brings to us.

The operative word is "SHARE", not simply exist with, having two separate worlds, so-to-speak. It's so much easier to be alone when your mate rarely knows you're around, or rarely-to-never helps with anything, but actually makes life harder by adding to your "helper" list, while it seems they have nothing better to do than entertain themselves with the latest technology available or who values friends more than their mate. Or when you suddenly find yourself looking at what once seemed good, as now not being so good. What caused the "eye-opening" change? And that's another story...

Freedom comes with a cost. Sometimes a mighty big cost. Sometimes a painful cost, which initially seems like relief, but eventually shows itself ugly. Sometimes, actually feeling like bondage. Ah...the despair of freedom. It's never easy, but what is? And the age old question rages on in many the mind. "Who am I?" "Why am I here?" "What is the meaning of my life?"

Change happens when we least expect it, either because of our choices, or because of someone else's choice...yet God has planted eternity in the human heart. We were created for immortality and life's changes prepare us for that eternity. There we find our life's purpose. In Him alone. And I fear THIS, this is where we get confused and make decisions apart from consulting our loving Creator, as we put our eyes on the earthly, the mundane, the exasperating, and the difficult situations that all life brings. Fears of not being in control.

And because we choose to go on our own steam, our own secure thoughts and determinations blow high and wide. Some may have even been "thought out" and considered, with thoughts of making it all better. Some are great decisions. Some are not.

I've not always faced my fears, like I do now that I'm on the back side of the proverbial hill. Back in the day, I let fear rule my actions...and I was held captive to an aggressive man that nearly took my life. Twice! Then everything changed. I decided (or was it the veiled encouragement of my God), that I would rather be dead than live each day not knowing what it would bring. Maybe, just maybe, God knew what I needed to escape the prison I was allowing myself to be in, even though I was not serving Him then. He showed me a way of escape, where there seemed to be none. Then, in the natural realm. Later, in the spiritual realm. And I boldly took that step. Both times.

At that time in my life, I wanted nothing more than to be alone. Alone and free. Free to be me. Free to not be watched over every second of every day. Free to make my own choices. Free from accusation. Free from abusive hands/fists. Free from threats. Free from lies. Free from alcohol induced behavior. But even that freedom brought bondage, eventually. Simply because I had not learned who I could trust, and I trusted no-one. It's still very hard for me to trust in humanity. But I do know who I can perfectly rely on. It is God. He never fails me, never leaves me to my own devises. He corrects me, guides me, walks beside me, and whispers in my ear. Okay...so that sounded a little creepy. By whispering in my ear, I simply mean He has a way of getting my full attention. And I so rely on that, because I know how crazy I can be in making decisions on my own.

Freedom/Bondage...it can actually be a good thing. In Christ alone is there true freedom to be who we are/were created to be. In Christ alone is there true life giving, bondage. What? Yes, the good bondage of knowing we belong to Him. We serve no other. A slave of the One who Created us. How simply wonderful it is, to not venture out and listen to (or serve) someone who wants nothing but to destroy us; to take our freedom to be anything other than who we were created to be.

Fully free, fully in bondage, and thankful God knows me better than I know myself...here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

Free To Be

A couple of days ago, just before the rain moved in, birds of all kinds were coming to feast from our feeders and then bathe in our bird bath. As I watched from the kitchen window, I was once again, mesmerized by these free creatures.

One would be splashing around, ducking his/her head and flapping wings with turbo speed, creating a monsoon that cleansed their body from top to bottom...as another waited it's turn, patiently sitting on the rim. Sometimes there would be 2 or three, circling or standing patiently, for the one to be finished. And they never seemed to get in a hurry. When the bather was ready to leave, the next one jumped in and began the dance. It was a site to behold. Sure wish I had gotten some footage of that event, but I couldn't pull myself away from the view. When they had splashed most of the water out, I went out to fill it back up for them. As soon as I took my position back at the window, they began their ritual again. They were having so much fun! I found myself talking to them and exclaiming, "how good that must feel!" Crazy lady that I am...

In the early morning hours, I can hear all the beautiful sounds coming from so many different types of birds, just outside our home. The houses are fairly close to each other, yet the birds seem to love their existence here. I love the variety, the many species, the vibrant colors, and the earthy colored ones, as well. The first time I heard them singing, I thought of what the Rain Forest must sound like.

Here's just a sampling of my daily music. If you listen, you'll hear the Canadian Geese that was in our area this morning. They were quite the amusement for me and Dennis when we first arrived in Cary, NC. Many times traffic has to come to a dead stop for them to cross the road. It's nothing to see them taking a slow (very slow) stroll across any given street. Be it down-town, or in high traffic areas. And you best not hit one. Here, they are given free range.

Matthew 6:26-27 says this:
v. 26 "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?" v 27. And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?"

My sister, Becky, had a figurine called, "I Gotta Be Free" that was of a young girl with hands in the air, releasing a bird into flight. She had purchased it in Estes Park, Colorado. She loved collectors items, and when she saw this one, it was a no-brainer for her. The choice was clear as to which figurine would go home with her.

Birds are the symbolism of freedom. Is it the way that God created them? Surely they have fears of predators. Yet, they seem not to have a care in the world. Or is it that they simply trust the process of life and death? Could it be that freedom brings with it a sense of peace while facing life and it's quirky dispositions?

Our youngest daughter recently had a couple of tattoos embedded on her wrists. Silhouettes of birds sitting, and then taking flight. I asked her why she chose this particular tattoo. What did it speak to her? "Just freedom," she said. "The ability to fly. Birds don't put their trust in the limb they are sitting on, but they put their trust in their wings." I love that!

Much of the time, we trust in the place we find ourselves to be, instead of our ability to fly, as it were. We say things like, "It's the life I've been handed." No matter what we feel, we all have within us, the ability to fly. We can change, or at least find a way to rise above, any situation. A bird sitting on a wire, has ceased it's flying. For it to take flight, it must use the strength in its wings.

As the years have flown by, no pun intended, I find myself watching the birds. We lure them to our yard, by feeding them and making a place to drink and bathe. Even a place to build a nest for their family. Life is good.

I would love to hear your bird stories.

Please comment below...you can always find me, here...in Mary's World.