Can We Judge A Book By Its Cover?

You've probably heard the saying that you can't judge a book by its cover. Right? Even the title rarely gives away the truth of its contents. It might give you a "heads up" every now and then, but you gotta be watching for it. However, if it intrigues us, we purchase it and begin the journey within its covers. When we begin spending time with the book, that's when the true story is revealed.

In comparison, sometimes we wonder why an individual seems so much like the "perfect" human being until we do life with them on the daily. When those bumps in the road trip us up, such as, helping with household duties, the kids, yard work, laundry, meal planning, etc. Or when those mountainous ranges cause us to fall long and hard, such as a family tragedy, health concerns, infidelity, etc. That is when the true nature of the life inside us is revealed. That is when the book begins to find its own twists and turns, the stability (or lack thereof) of its own story. That is when we find the truth of who they are. Who WE are!!!

Living life with another human will either make you great, or cause you to start doubting yourself. There WILL be bumps and mountains in every life lived. We all have a story to tell. As long as there is breath in the body, as long as a heart beats, a story is unfolding day to day. Page by page. Chapter by chapter. Until the end...

A casual acquaintance never sees the truth that lies deep within a person. That is reserved for those willing to take a journey with another. Reserved for those willing to climb the highest mountain, or kick stones off a beaten path, with another sojourner. There will be bruised hearts and misunderstandings. There will be strong discussions as couples hammer out a solution. And there will be hearts that glow with intense love during the strongest of storms, knowing their partner will always have their back, always look after their needs, and always trust that God is the one who directs them through it all.

Don't you just love a good book, though?! Those that grab you with the first paragraph? Those you just can't put down even though they cause your heart to beat just a bit faster, or sweat pop out on your forehead, or cause hope to rise inside you, as the author gives life to the book? Those books you can't bear to put down at the end? Those books that stay in your head forever? You know the ones I'm talking about. Right? It's the ones that get better and better with every chapter read. Now compare...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

Things I Can Depend On

Every morning, right about 7:43, the sun peeks through my study window on its way upward. At least during this time of the year. I reach up to shutter the window so I can see without shielding my eyes. The sun is dependable. 

There are many things we take for granted as being dependable. Like, I will go to work tomorrow at precisely (fill in the blank). I will see my family this coming (fill in the blank). I will go to the grocery store tomorrow after lunch. I will go to the mountains next month when the leaves are beginning to show their beauty. Next summer, I will make plans to go with my family to the beach. So much of our lives, and what it will look like, we take for granted. We form habits and become "dependable". That's a good thing. Right? Sure it is. But my point is the things we take for granted, aren't necessarily dependable. Why do I say that? Because none of us knows what tomorrow holds for us. Actually, we don't REALLY know what the next hour holds for us. Sounds kinda gloomy, doesn't it? It's not intended to...

James 4:13-16 says:

“Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil” (NLT).

Even though this life is uncertain, and even though one might think once this life is done, it's done, there is a life that is eternal. Yours and mine. We were created to be eternal beings. Natural death entered because of not heeding the warning of God. Not because he was/is a demanding being. But because He wanted us to have a choice, not demanding we love him as he loved us. But because we choose to. And because of that, there needed to be a choice of right and wrong, of life and death, of fullness and emptiness. Choices. Thus, the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil was placed in the Garden of Eden, where Gods council (the Elohim) met. We were not to eat from that tree lest we live eternally in our choice. We get to choose our life's path. Which is an awesome gift in itself! Yes?

It's sad so many of us blame God for the evil in this world. When in fact it only comes from a persons choices. No one is excluded. Life continues after this earthly death, and since this life is so uncertain, doesn't it make sense to begin storing up for the next life? The life we step into after this earthly life, will depend on what we did with this one. Today, it appears I will be heading to work soon, a platform God has given to provide and to serve. 

Things I can depend on? The sun coming up, an eventual "death" (I do think I'll be around for a bit, though 😁), my family's love for me, and God's love for me. For the world He created. And those in it. 

As always (if God so chooses), here you will find me...in Mary's (loaned by God) World. That I (mostly) take for granted.

Gonna open the shutters now that the sun has moved on up. 😉😁

Religion verses Christianity

 

A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with a dear client. She had met someone that is a really great guy. Or so it seemed, from just having a couple of outings with him. Very polite, very attentive to her needs. Great conversationalist, take charge kinda guy, not putting all decision making on her. She really liked him. But, here's the kicker. After their second date, she decides he and she are not a good match, because he's too "religious". He talks about the Bible a bit too much, making her feel like he wants her to know how knowledgable he is, yet never trying to push his "religion" on her. She never felt judged, but she hadn't (at this point), talked much about her own lifestyle. Something about him just made her uncomfortable to continue the relationship. She was put off. A red flag went up in her thinking. I knew why.

It is such a common conversation inside my salon. Most times when anyone speaks about a Christian, it's always in the terms of a very "religious" person. You, too, must have witnessed the automatic withdrawal from religion at some point in your life, if you are a Christ follower. It's as if it is a plague to run from, as an almost visible slab of concrete instantly forms a barrier to all sound coming from the perceived "religious" person.

Why is that? Because "religious" people crush people with unbearable demands and never lift a finger to ease any burden. Everything they do is for show. Read about it in Matthew 23 (NLT)

Now...can you see why religion comes off as a dirty word? It's troubling to me that Christians sometimes have a reputation for being divisive and exclusive. Though we live among others who may not share our beliefs and values, we have the clear example of Jesus, who found acceptance among physical and moral outcasts as well as despised minorities and Roman officers. Somehow he moved compliantly among diverse groups without compromising his good-news message of love and forgiveness.

I've been reading a book about the human body and all it is made up of. What a great, insightful book! Let me give you an example of the human body as it creates an example of the spiritual body. Did you know the hand has the ability to mold itself around an object it grasps? I'd be willing to bet you never, ever considered this. Underneath the skin of the hand is globules of fat with the look and consistency of tapioca pudding. So soft as to be almost fluid, fat globules cannot hold their own shape, and so they are surrounded by interwoven fibrils of collagen, like balloons caught in a rope net. The hands receive a lot of stress, but because of being tightly sheathed by fibrous tissue (much like fine Belgian lace), they will mold themselves around the stress causing points. The clusters of fat cells change their shape in response to the pressure. The fat yields, yet cannot be pushed aside because of the firm collagen fibers around it. The tissue constantly shifts, and becomes compliant, as it fits the shape of whatever is causing it stress. Whether the shape is hard, or soft, the fat and collagen redistribute themselves and assume a shape to comply with the object being grasped, preventing localized spots of high pressure. The hand doesn't demand the object to conform to the shape of the hand; the hand adapts, distributing the pressure. (Information from Fearlessly and Wonderfully Made). Don't you find that simply amazing?!

How does this relate to Christian living? Glad you asked! Just as our human hand complies to whatever it is holding, awkward or smooth, so should I not demand others to realign their ways to mine. I should be willing to step into their world and see as they see, without compromising my own beliefs. Just as Jesus did. People often misquote the Holy Scriptures. Yes, Jesus sat with the sinners, yet he was without sin. Acceptance of all. Disgraced by none.

One last thought:

The apostle Paul says, in I Corinthians 9, as paraphrased in The Message: "Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people; religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized -- whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ -- but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view."

If you seek, you will find me...here, in Mary's World

P.S. Find all my ramblings & musings; sometimes serious, sometimes hilarious by searching for www.marysworldmiami.blogspot.com

 

Broken, or Just Wounded?

Today's Reasoning:

It's been a night of unrest for me. Waking at 2:22 AM, for the second day now, is messing with my soul (and body). It's been a long while since my mind has been in a fast forward motion, carrying around all the pain and anxious feelings I encounter. Feels a bit like a rewind of years gone by. But here's the thing...
God never promised us a life of continual happiness and smooth sailing. In the reality of humanity, we must face storms to understand our imperfections, the flawed nature of who we are, and to realize just how much we need a savior, as we give in, exposing what is truly in our hearts. Things we didn't know we could feel any longer, come pouring out of our inner most being and like a blanket of acid, fall down upon the ones we claim to love the most.

Forceful words, coupled with an action, will tear at the inner fiber of who we are. Rejection steals the best of who we are by reinforcing the worst of what's been said to us. Do our words define us? I think so. It must first be in our heart, our mind, before it comes out of the mouth (Matthew 12:34). If this is true, then our actions define us, as well. At least in part...

We can't offer a simple "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that," without first allowing a good hard look inside ourselves. What is at the root of this defensive monster who wants control at all cost? And what will be the breaking point of allowing those defenses to control our action(s)?

Simply put, brokenness can't provide stability. We are all desperate to anchor our souls to something we can trust won't change, and we continue to look for it, until we don't. Feelings of "I don't matter. I am worth nothing to (fill in the blank). "And if all this is true, it's possible that even God doesn't love me, and wants nothing to do with me." It's like we have climbed the ladder to a tall slide, ready to descend into a very dark abyss. Then...then, we find a hiding place and become silent, because we are unwanted. Until we have a visitor...

The visitor? The only One who can save a darkened soul, a hardened heart, that has become a defeated cluster of cells that still breathe, regardless of the weight of anxious thoughts. A heart that still flickers, but was once a flame, is where God shows up. In the quiet stillness of the human heart, God speaks life. Because it is His creation, and He won't stop until the heart He prepared for himself realizes it is truly, wholly, loved (Colossians 3:12). Regardless of what it must face. BECAUSE of what it must face.

One last thought: Feelings are like broken support beams that will expose insecurity needing stabilized. Only truth is solid, unchanging, and completely stable. Today, God is reminding me He will never leave me to wallow in self pity, licking my wounds. He understands me. He knows my whys and my insecurities. He has walked beside me since the day He instructed my cells to form and complete the necessary work of becoming more like Him. The question we must always ask ourselves? Do we really trust God to anchor us? To stabilize us? I think we'll find our answers in Psalm 8.

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World

Truth or Consequences

Last Saturday, I had a 7 year old client tell me, "You're not that good." As one can imagine, I stopped what I was doing and looked him square in the eye. It's as if I'd just walked into an unseen wall. "What?! Don't you like the cut I just gave you?" "I've seen better," he replied. He's SEVEN YEARS OLD, and he's "seen better." He now had my full attention. This little guy has always been very engaging and somewhat fun to talk with. I do love little ones. Well....most of them. The respectful ones, to be specific. But truth has always been my ally, my solid place, my grounding. And up to a certain age, kids are always transparent. Truthful. I soothed myself with the fact he hasn't seen ALL my work. So, being the adult I am, I pointed it out to him. Showed him some of my work. He wasn't impressed.

Truth be told, I have been keenly aware (of late), to everything that crosses my path. So this moment in time was no different. I'm on a mission to see my way forward from where I find myself to be. To not be caught off guard when the inevitable happens. To actually walk with wisdom and yes, a bit of pride, as this season of life unfolds. To be clear, a 7 year old is only a small piece of this tapestry me and God are creating. An important piece, however small. Every piece matters. Right?

In the 47+ years I have been working in this industry (minus a couple of sabbaticals), I have never heard these words. Not to my face, at least. Now I am wondering if they have truly been spoken, just without my knowledge. And so I must examine my expertise and see where I want to go with this new found knowledge. Do I just tuck it away in my toolbox of unimportant things? Or do I hang it on my wall so it's the first thing I see every morning? To what purpose will that guide me? "Never stop learning" has always been a motto for my life. Yet, are there unmistakable signs we can ignore?

It was only a few days ago (maybe last week) that I was talking with one of our daughters, saying, "Why can't God just make it evident what He is trying to say to us? Instead of making us 'read' all the signs and try figuring out if this is Him getting our attention about something we have been asking for, or just me reaching too far for something. For anything." I'm not sure He could get any clearer than having a truth led 7 year old, speak the words out loud. Now my dilemma is, what am I going to do with it? Will I say, "But I'm not ready for this." Or, "Okay, I have a couple of choices here."

My attention has been gotten. 

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World

The Next Leg of My Journey

Three quarters of a century. 😳

I can remember when I thought 40 years was a long time to have lived, and now I am looking 75 in the face, in just a couple of weeks. Knowing that many don't want to (or won't) acknowledge their years, kind of throws me. I think I know the reasoning behind it, but really??? For real, why???

I take a lot of pleasure in knowing how far I have come, and the fact I am still waking up with strength and breath in my body. There is much of my childhood that I don't remember, and enough of it that I wouldn't want to go back there. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all the training I had as a child. All the strength I gained from the morals and high standards we were exposed to and required to hold. And because of it, I have never thought of work as something to hate, or dread. Monday's have never resonated any differently than the other days in the week. It was just another day to be thankful for. Another day to believe in what our hands were given to do as a substantial means of providing for ourselves. Work was, and is, a blessing from God to us. We could always lay our heads down on a pillow at night and be grateful for another day of work. Tired, yes. But also satisfied. So, it isn't because of this reality that I would never want to go back. I love that part of my upbringing. I believe in myself because of it. Most of the time, anyway. AND, I know how to survive in a world without it giving me anything I haven't worked for. Nor do I expect our government to pay for any of my decisions that cost money.

There was a turning point in my adult life, that I realized the years were slipping away. It was in my early to mid 40's. I will never forget walking past a mirror, and then stepping back to take another look. "Who in the world is that?" I asked. It was as if I had gone to bed the night before and woke up a completely different person. Physically. It was only a few weeks beyond that day that I put up a picture of my graduation from Miami Beauty College. Yep. That's the pic you are now looking at. That was me in 1974. THAT is who I was. Who I am. Those are the years that resonate with me the most. It took me many a year to come to grips with the changes that were happening. Those were the early years of finally realizing I was becoming who I was suppose to be. Not as a hair designer. Just as a human being, having been knitted together in my mother's womb to become someone that reflected the goodness of God. I have failed (miserably at times) in that, as a young (possibly overworked) mom. But I did have some winning moments, and grace was extended to me as I walked daily in blessings I didn't really deserve, but am so grateful for. And that's another story...

The Voyage of Life is a series of four paintings created by Thomas Cole in 1842, representing an allegory of the four stages of human life. The paintings are of Childhood, Youth, Manhood, and Old Age, depicting a voyager who travels in a boat on a river through the mid-19th-century American wilderness. Copies of these paintings hang on my entry wall. I have loved them ever since I came across them as a young homeschool educating mom. A few years before moving to North Carolina, our oldest daughter purchased them for me and I wasn't about to leave them behind. They speak to me.

So, if I were to point to the picture that best identifies the place I am in my personal journey, today, it would be the last of the four. That's not to say I think my life is over and I am on my last leg. Oh no. It's only just begun, in many ways. Okay. In SOME ways.

And now? Well, I'm not quite sure where I'm heading. I only know it is a different season in my life and where it will take me is still a bit obscure. But I'm ready to find out. Mostly...

When I know, you'll know. Until then, here I'll remain...in Mary's World.

When Our Vision Becomes Blurred

Have you ever been sick? I mean, reallllyyy sick?! Sick enough your thoughts play tag inside your brain trying to convince you you just might not come out of this one?

Well, I was that sick a couple of weeks ago. Five days without food, and with only very small sips of water to make sure I didn't shrivel up and cease to breathe. I mean, I guess it was time. It's been long enough that I can't recall the last time I was actually sick. But this one was the granddaddy of all stomach viruses.

I was kind of excited (once I found out I would indeed live to see another day), to get on the scales and see how much of this excess weight (I'm gonna blame on the pandemic) I have collected around my waist, had dropped off. It felt like maybe 10 pounds. Surely 5!!! I felt so skinny!!! After a refreshing hot shower and hair washed and conditioned, I stepped on my trusty scales, naked as the day I was born. I close my eyes as I step up and balance myself. Is it 5? 10??? Slowly opening one eye at a time, I peer downward, adjust my glasses, preparing just how I would celebrate. ONE FREAKING POUND???!!! HOW is that even POSSIBLE??? Five days with no food (well there was that couple of nibbles on a half piece of dried toast), and yet nothing had changed in the dynamics of body weight. As a side note: Dennis drinks 6 sodas in one week (instead of his usual 7) and drops 15 pounds. Not fair.

Anyway, this story is about blurry vision. It's pretty amazing how our vision is affected when faced with life altering events such as not being able to walk 2 steps without collapsing from having no strength to motor through. Thus, the trash can remains next to our bed. Not even going to elaborate on that one.

As I lay, hour after excruciating hour, afraid to move in any direction, my mind begins the gymnastics. "Aren't you even a little bit concerned about how your chest has hurt for the last week?" "You know that pressure doesn't feel normal." "And now your stomach lining has expelled itself so you probably won't be able to eat ever again." "So...what if you died in your sleep tonight?" "If you actually pull through this, you should seriously consider writing those letters to your girls you've been thinking about doing, cause, well...you know." "That headache could be something too, right?" "You really shouldn't be working anymore, either. Just face the facts, Mary." "If you only had a week left to live, what would you want to be using that time for? Work? I thought not..." "Not sure you're going have to worry about any of that, though." "Do you think your grand daughters will even remember you after a year or so?"

Blurry vision is a beast. 

Reality becomes obscure, at best, and end of life plans begin. Good grief!!! And this is why I always say it would take a genius to figure out why the sparks that flitter around inside my brain are so easily side tracked and colorful.

Also, it's amazing how one is ready to tackle the world again, once vision is corrected. Once the marvelous body we've been using as our home, is whole again, sight is also restored. I think there were moments I knew I would surely pull through this, but for the most part, when my body was idle, my thoughts were not. Quite the opposite...

Those letters have STILL yet to be written, but here I remain...in Mary's World.