Reality or Imagination?

Buckle up buttercup. We're going for a ride...

When someone tells you "It's all in your mind" it really is. Real, or not, all our thoughts originate in the subconscious mind. For instance, have you ever wondered if you are real? Have you ever sat and contemplated reality as we know it? Have you ever looked around you and wondered if what you were seeing was indeed real? Before you begin to wonder if this blogger is on some weird medicine, or has possibly given in to the psychotic behavior you've always thought she teetered on, let me dispel your fears. It takes something pretty scary, health wise, to get me to even down an aspirin, or an anti-inflammatory. I have to have a raging headache that causes my eyes to feel as if they will explode, for at least 3 days before I reach for the Tylenol bottle. 

I treasure a clear mind so that I can be aware of reality, and have the ability to make good decisions, which I haven't always done. Yet, there have been days (not recently...thank God), that my brain has taken me to places that some would consider concerning. I have seen some pretty horrific things, over the years, that I keep tucked away in an obscure, subconscious file, that will cause me to wonder about reality from time to time. Rightly dividing the truth can, at times, take a minute (or two). And, yes. I have pinched myself to make sure I'm still among the living. Are you worried, yet? 😉😂

There was a time, some years ago, while in one of these "reality" situations, nothing felt real. Standing in my kitchen, I began questioning myself about things that had always been true. Call the hubs (I didn't, 'cause I knew what he would say and I didn't want to hear it, real or not). Call the girls (they laughed while assuring me I was still present). Stir up some Energy Bites (yum!), clean the house (ahchoo!), touch the reflection in the mirror (hummmm), etc., etc. The way I was able to finally release myself from this dark feeling, was to decide that if I wasn't real, if the life I had lived was truly no more, then whatever this was that I was experiencing at that moment WAS my reality! And it was time for a pinch. 😁 

Just a curious question: Did you know the conscious mind can speak with the subconscious, and that the subconscious can speak to the conscious? The subconscious mind processes information and affects everything we say and do. It stores our beliefs and values, determines our memories and monitors the information around us, deciding what to send to the conscious mind and what to store for later. Interesting! Yes? Scientists say the subconscious mind is 95% of the brain, while the conscious mind is only 5%. So, most thinking takes part in the subconscious, then hands it over to the conscious for planning and critical thinking.
 

Soooo...is this why we can have moments of life "disappear" for a time? Some call it a "memory lapse." Does the subconscious protect us while it processes what we can, or cannot handle in the moment??? I say it's very possible. Even likely. Do you think we can reprogram our subconscious? Can we change our mental reality? Ugh! My brain hurts. 😉😁

Resting in God's Grace, here you'll find me...in Mary's World

When Our Vision Becomes Blurred

Have you ever been sick? I mean, reallllyyy sick?! Sick enough your thoughts play tag inside your brain trying to convince you you just might not come out of this one?

Well, I was that sick a couple of weeks ago. Five days without food, and with only very small sips of water to make sure I didn't shrivel up and cease to breathe. I mean, I guess it was time. It's been long enough that I can't recall the last time I was actually sick. But this one was the granddaddy of all stomach viruses.

I was kind of excited (once I found out I would indeed live to see another day), to get on the scales and see how much of this excess weight (I'm gonna blame on the pandemic) I have collected around my waist, had dropped off. It felt like maybe 10 pounds. Surely 5!!! I felt so skinny!!! After a refreshing hot shower and hair washed and conditioned, I stepped on my trusty scales, naked as the day I was born. I close my eyes as I step up and balance myself. Is it 5? 10??? Slowly opening one eye at a time, I peer downward, adjust my glasses, preparing just how I would celebrate. ONE FREAKING POUND???!!! HOW is that even POSSIBLE??? Five days with no food (well there was that couple of nibbles on a half piece of dried toast), and yet nothing had changed in the dynamics of body weight. As a side note: Dennis drinks 6 sodas in one week (instead of his usual 7) and drops 15 pounds. Not fair.

Anyway, this story is about blurry vision. It's pretty amazing how our vision is affected when faced with life altering events such as not being able to walk 2 steps without collapsing from having no strength to motor through. Thus, the trash can remains next to our bed. Not even going to elaborate on that one.

As I lay, hour after excruciating hour, afraid to move in any direction, my mind begins the gymnastics. "Aren't you even a little bit concerned about how your chest has hurt for the last week?" "You know that pressure doesn't feel normal." "And now your stomach lining has expelled itself so you probably won't be able to eat ever again." "So...what if you died in your sleep tonight?" "If you actually pull through this, you should seriously consider writing those letters to your girls you've been thinking about doing, cause, well...you know." "That headache could be something too, right?" "You really shouldn't be working anymore, either. Just face the facts, Mary." "If you only had a week left to live, what would you want to be using that time for? Work? I thought not..." "Not sure you're going have to worry about any of that, though." "Do you think your grand daughters will even remember you after a year or so?"

Blurry vision is a beast. 

Reality becomes obscure, at best, and end of life plans begin. Good grief!!! And this is why I always say it would take a genius to figure out why the sparks that flitter around inside my brain are so easily side tracked and colorful.

Also, it's amazing how one is ready to tackle the world again, once vision is corrected. Once the marvelous body we've been using as our home, is whole again, sight is also restored. I think there were moments I knew I would surely pull through this, but for the most part, when my body was idle, my thoughts were not. Quite the opposite...

Those letters have STILL yet to be written, but here I remain...in Mary's World.