File That Away, Will You?

There are days when it seems as if my head is filled with at least 10, if not more, huge filing cabinets. Each cabinet is packed solid with the happenings of my life. From the very important, to the slightly, or barely noticeable. But all needing some sort of attention.

It's not that my life is so full I can't manage it. On the contrary. I have more idle time now than I can ever remember in my lifetime (and therein may lie the problem). So what seems to be the issue, Mary? Ya got me! There are just days that I need to ramble on, jumping from one rabbit trail onto another, because that's just how it works...ya know? Something will grab my attention and my imagination takes over, knowing for sure that the words spoken to me really meant something so much bigger. So much more damaging than what was actually said. I suppose you could say I spend time "reading between the lines."

My world seems to have shrunk. Go figure...

It feels a bit confining, at times. Yet the world is so huge. Where did the knowledge of "I can fly" go to? What happened to the knowledge that "I can do anything I put my mind to?" Well, that last thing isn't completely gone...but it has shrunk considerably. And I hate that I'm revealing all this to any that take the time to read it. But, if I'm correct, I think most individuals experience this type of confinement at some point in their lives. Simply, if for no other reason, because God is desiring a get together with us. Maybe we've just not taken much of our time to consult...to visit, with Him.    

I have so very much to be grateful for. The most recent has entered our world by way of our first grand-child. What a treasure she is. She has put a smile on my face that makes it hurt. Simply because those smile muscles work over-time when she's around. So many blessings that come from having family...and yet my world seems so small. I don't think it's the result of moving away from a place where everybody knows my name (like the Cheers theme song states), where most were glad that I was there (I think *wink *wink), to a place where few know my name. Nor do I think it comes from attending a huge church where one can become lost in the sea of people that attend. To be clear, the masses don't affect my Dennis. He puts himself out there. He connects. I withdraw. When that started, I'm not sure. Well, maybe I do know...but that's for another blog entry.

Could it be that God is wanting to reveal a truth to me that I need to know? Or at least be reminded of? How might one see reality? How might one see beyond the visible and the audible? Not the reality we think is real. The reality that one gets a glimpse of only occasionally. The reality that causes scales to fall from eyes; that entices one to look deeply through the fog-like atmosphere of the heart. The unseen. The faint glimpses of something much bigger than the small realm lived in. The hidden things of the heart. THAT reality!

I think it's time to re-visit the allegory of Hinds Feet on High Places, and Walking Among the Unseen, where Much Afraid was given an invitation to the high places. Yes. That's it. I need to climb the heights of love, joy, and peace...once again. Inspiration for the here and now.

I will keep you posted on this journey I'm about to take...here, in Mary's World.

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

Some months ago, our daughter Meghan, asked if I'd be willing to take a CPR class if she and Clark allowed me to watch Reagan when she returned to the work force. We all know the answer to that, don't we? I'd jump over the moon for her, if that's what it took (that may be a bit exaggerated...).

Today, I made good on my promise. Upon arriving at the real destination (I had gone South instead of North...that's never a good thing), I was sent upstairs to a room where there were only old people. I figured I had been misguided until verbal orders began flying around the room directed at me. That was when I realized I had arrived. People love giving me instructions before I even open my mouth. Happens all the time. I had planned on paying for the course before the class started, but I guess they had a different idea. So, being the organizer of all things business, I pointed out the highlighted information about attending class mate, Mary Lewis, that glared up at us all. How one could over-look that, is beyond me. Oh well...all's well that ends well. And it ended well. I was sent back downstairs to pay the lady that sent me upstairs in the first place. They were busy this morning. I'll give them that one. And I got some great exercise going up and down two flights of stairs, twice.

Once the time to start had arrived and left, a young couple came in. Having a set of 4 year old twins at home and a baby that was due any day, they decided it would be a good thing to attend. I'm glad they were there. The room suddenly felt younger. About 15 minutes into the 4 hour class, another young couple arrived. They were totally new at being parents. This would be their first. It showed...

The very mature lady leading the group passed out Kleenex to everyone that had lipstick or lip gloss on. I was the first she handed it to. I said, "I don't need it. I have nothing on my lips." She insisted that I wipe my lipstick off. "Sorry. I don't need it." It's been said that a look (picture...but let's just go with this, okay?) is worth a thousand words. I felt she was about to kick me out of the class, and since I'd already paid, thought I'd better take the offering. I took the tissue and pretended to wipe. I'm getting weak in my old age. It's hard convincing older citizens that you are right and they are wrong, so I gave in.

I loved the mannequins we got to save. According to the Kleenex lady, they were harder to compress than the human frame, so if we could endure the time spent with them, we'd be okay if and when the real deal happened. It seemed fairly easy, so I think I'm good to go. However, if the heat in the room had been about 10 degrees lower, we possibly could have saved two of those mannequins; the ones that had their heads pop off during a rescue...and their chests blown out from forcefully blowing air in through their mouths that would blow a helium balloon up. That was really funny. Yeah...it was the two guys that did that. They wanted to make sure the patient got plenty of air. That may have been a wrong move...

All humor aside, my favorite part of the class were the instructions for saving an infant. One of the main things people don't realize is that you should never tip the infants head back like you would an adult. You will shut their airway off. There is also a right way, and a wrong way, as with everything under the sun, of dislodging something that may be in the infants throat, causing it to choke. Same with a pregnant lady. Can't really do a Heimlich on her. And there is a place (on infant & adults) that one must be very careful not to press down on when doing compression. I could list many things about this class that was so very important. You seriously need to attend one of these classes.

There's plenty of information on the internet about CPR, but nothing beats hands-on and having trained professionals walk you through it all. Simply amazing. Go to a CPR class!!!

This old dog continues to learn new tricks...here, in Mary's World.

Trust the Process

Admittedly, there have been times I've rushed the process, not completely trusting the results of waiting something out. Trying to reach the end of whatever it is I'm dealing with in business and/or personal relationships, I tend to get a little "antsy". Who likes to wait it out? Not many. Maybe no-one, if we're truthful. We want results now...not "only God knows when."

Bare with me for a bit as I draw a parallel. Recently, I worked with a client wanting her hair to be more red. Not flaming red...just more red. Our starting palate was more of a chocolate brown, so getting a brighter red entwined in those curly tresses was going to take a little correction in the depths of the hair. Meaning, I would need to strip some of that chocolate out before trying to infuse the red. Well, I took the shortcut and it didn't work so well. Good thing I had a sweet, understanding client. I really did think this would be the easiest on her hair (natural curl is very porous and doesn't like a lot of chemical action), and would satisfy the look we were going for. I was wrong. I brought her back into the salon to strip the hair of color (like I should have done in the first place) by a bit of bleaching, using the baby lites technique. This would be the least damaging, and would give her the red she wanted, after rinsing the hair and adding red into the lifted pieces along with the rest of the hair.

I rushed the process. When I checked the hair, I noticed the red was deepening and I didn't want it to get so dark that we'd be faced with virtually the same issue of not being noticeable as it blended into the darker hair. I didn't trust the process. She had to come back a SECOND time. No, I'm not proud of that. In fact, I'm a little embarrassed because of it. This time, I was going to make sure we got what we wanted, and so, after doubling the dye load and applying triple the normal application, I left the product on the amount of time instructed. This time it came out beautiful! I did need to tone down the roots a bit since it had been a month since I'd seen her last and the root area, well, it was virgin hair. Hair that loved that double dye load. And that's another story. It did eventually end well. Thank God!

My point is that if I'd trusted the process to begin with, she would not have had to make so many trips to the salon. And I wouldn't have egg all over my face. Whatever that means...

Walking through life, we tend to travel the same road many times over, simply because we don't trust the process and the results that come with the tried and true. It's as if we expect life to throw roses our way, but forget those roses also have thorns. We seem to give up way too easily. Sure, we try to figure things out for the good of everyone. We just don't wait for the process to prove trustworthy. It would seem as though patience and perseverance are in short supply. They're not, you know. We've just got to remember the path was walked out for us long ago. A record of how to live life, fully whole, was made for us. We were given a road map, as it were, to living life. One of the reasons Christ came to earth was to show us how to walk upon injustice, how not to take into account a wrong suffered, how to love instead of hate. He walked, as a man (fully God and fully man, I Timothy 2:5), through everything we'll ever have to face...and more.

Years ago, before the internet, I heard people make the comment when becoming a parent for the first time, "I wish baby's came with a rule book." They did/do come with a rule book. It's the same rule book we follow throughout life. It's called the Bible. But you knew that, didn't you? You just didn't think about it as being something one would go to for instruction on raising a child.

We've got to trust the process. It won't fail us. However, when we do fail to trust, we can ask for do-overs. Like I did with my client. And depending on how long you've made things happen the way you want them to, will decide if a do-over is allowed. Sometimes, those we've messed with will walk away, but God remains faithful as He asks us to consider a different outcome. He surely must shake His head at us (me) from time to time.

Most of the things I blog about are things I'm experiencing at the moment. They are my inspiration. So, if the shoe fits...I guess I'll share mine with you...here, in Mary's World.

Dead or Alive

 I can feel myself giving up. I don't like this feeling…it's never been a part of me.

Those around me try to encourage me. They sometimes speak harshly to me, as they tell me of the disappointment they feel upon hearing my words express failure. They're not accustomed to that. They want to push me forward, no matter how it's done. And they quietly take on my heaviness…

Sounds pretty dim, doesn't it? In reality, I will never give up on life, but I might give up on trying to resuscitate that which is seemingly dead. Most people go through stages of wanting to quit, because what they have put their hand(s) to, just hasn't produced what they expected. It's not that enough time wasn't given to produce…

Last night was the kicker. I poured over my books looking for reasons not to bury the dead horse, instead of pushing her to live. She still breathes, albeit shallow, but none-the-less...breathing. There is a small amount of life, but it's as if she weighs 2 ton and cannot move beyond the borders of her small, little box. Is it because I'm so used to prosperity? Used to having work in front of me, once I arrive? So used to familiar faces and activity? Accustomed to the sound and feel of life?

I must face the ultimate questions. Is it truly a different season, a different calling, a different purpose or need for my life? How long is long enough? 1 year, 2 years, 3 years? How long should I hold onto
this thing I have called opportunity? How tightly should I hold on? Did I somehow miss the mark? How do I stir up excitement in what I do…again, when all my efforts never seem to be enough?

I've never believed in retirement. I always have, and still do, believe there is something we can put our hands to as long as we have breath. Something that produces fruit from our labors. Yet, too much of a good thing (without challenges), will bring the stench of death. You know it's true. We all have walked this path, or will, at some point in our lives. It's there for a reason. There's only one other time I've walked this way. It was during times of hiding. Hiding from life. Hiding from fear of being seen. Hiding for fear of my life. And the quietness that surrounded those times, was deafening. Still is…so what am I afraid of, NOW?

During the times of hiding, voices come into your mind…loud and clear. Fear of those voices mocking you, making fun of you, chiding you, showing disappointment in you...all so very overwhelming! You tend to notice body language, when there are no words coming from the recipient of your questions. Smirks, the infamous eye-roll, the shaking of the head (however minimal it might be). You notice the increased volume in people's voices, as they respond to you…when they respond to you. Who are we dealing with here? Is it others? Or ourselves?

King David, from Old Testament readings, once said, "I have been young, and now I am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his descendants begging bread." ~Psalm 37:25 Can that be true? Was that meant to be a universal statement? There is no way of knowing, for sure, the completeness of what David was saying. Or can we? All we can rightly suppose, is that because of the trust we have in God, we push ourselves to be productive people. And with that push, we depend on God for results. If the results are not there, we may need to consider if we are choosing rightly. Right? Or maybe we've chosen our path without inviting God to direct our steps...because we're quite capable of managing our own lives, thank you.

Change is ever present. And even though "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10), change in individual lives constantly happens. Nothing stays the same..in our body, in our conscience state of mind, in our observations, in our livelihood, in our spiritual debates, etc., etc. It's all happened before we came along. It's not a new thing. It shouldn't surprise us when those who have lived a long life, understand our dilemmas. Never tell an old person they can't possibly understand because this is a new era. Geez…how long does it take us to understand there is wisdom that comes from living life, that when applied to life, actually makes a difference in the outcome of life?

Sometimes it seems as though I am doing the same thing, over and over and over, while all along expecting different results. We all know what that means, right? Albert Einstein claimed it to be insanity. We must change with change. We must not try to hold onto what God is prying out of our hands…so-to-speak. Can we continue to express what has been our passion for so many years but possibly in a different scenario? Can passion change for lack of activity? Can it die? When life goes out of our passion, how, or can, it live again?

I think this vein has been tapped. It's collapsed, and gives no life. Now, what do I do? It is a grievous task to be afflicted with. It all seems to be in vain…like striving after the wind."

_________________________________________________________________________________

What you just read was a post from July 18, 2014, saved to a draft. I was feeling lost after almost 2

years of what seemed like butting my head against the proverbial wall as I tried to establish a new business in a new state. The post never got published. As I searched through the archives, looking for a particular article and never finding it, I ran across this one titled, "Dead or Alive". It peaked my interest.


Today is February 29, 2016. Maybe, since it's been a year and 7 months ago that my world looked so glum, I should tap into what seemed a mind set on that particular day and see if there may have been answers along the way. I will share the most recent...

Yesterday, Sunday morning, Feb. 28, 2016...I was eating breakfast when a thought entered my mind. Dennis had gone to serve at the church, so I was alone with my thoughts. I like those moments. *wink*

Thought #1: "Sometimes you need to chase the wind. You just may find yourself mounting up with wings as those of an eagle." Scripture reference from Isaiah 40:31 says, "...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Ahhh...sweet confirmation (notice the very last sentence of the 2014 post). Interesting. Yes?

It has long been said that those who "chase the wind" are living in a fantasy world. That they are trying to cause something to happen that has "impossible" written all over it. If there has been anything I've learned during the years of my existence, it is that the impossible is the place you find God the most. That's His territory. That's where He can show himself faithful. That is the place where you finally realize your abilities are not the end all. Where we fail, God does not. It all has purpose and if we look close enough, we'll see God's hand at work in our lives. Not just our businesses. They are both the same, really. We cannot, or at least, should not, be a different person at work than at home. We are to be who we were created to be, wherever we find ourselves to be.

Thought #2: So, what does this look like, for me and the business we began in 2012? How do I "chase the wind?"
     1. I must extend myself in the difficult areas of what I do.
     2. I must continue to educate myself in industry changes, as I listen for God's guidance.
     3. I must run towards the impossible...prove God's faithfulness.
     4. I must increase my energy levels by eating healthy at ALL times. We are to honor our physical bodies that were designed by God, maintained by us.
     5. I must think bigger than myself and the space I take up. Give more than I get.
     6. I must push through barriers. Resistance creates strength.
     7. I must not allow discouragement to consume my thoughts.

I was so pumped after this "revelation." I can do this! Take care of grand-baby during the week-days, work at the salon, nights and weekends. Then I went to church. And what does the pastor minister on?  Patience. I was all over that, with ears perked up, confirming my decision to push through difficult work hours...until the last word he spoke for the day. He said, "The first service didn't get this story..." And then he told about a particular tribe that enjoyed eating certain types of monkeys. They always had a hard time catching them, so they set a trap filled with food so that when the monkey reached for the food, it's hand could not be removed, because it was unwilling to let go of the food. He used the illustration to tell us to let go of what we were holding onto so tightly. Then we could live. WHAT?!!!

Back to the drawing board, because that story was just for me, right? Patience in letting go of what I've always thought to be good for me. Death would give way to life, if I'd just let go.

And this, my friends, is how my mind treats me ALL. THE. TIME. I make what I feel to be an excellent decision. A God led decision. And then, bam! The for-sure decision gets knocked out of the ballpark, just so I can go searching again for that darn ball. Maybe that's my problem! I keep searching for the ball that was thrown out. Oh my goodness......

There may be changes in the seasons of my life, the chapters of my life book, where I continue to try and create what used to produce life in another reality (instead of letting go), but I'll never give up on the One who directs my steps, all found here...in Mary's World. Stay tuned...

Does Everything Really Happen for A Reason?

Why do people say, "Everything happens for a reason" suggesting that God is behind everything that happens? Every time I hear that, cold chills run through my body. Yes, I suppose everything DOES happen for a reason. And mostly that reason is because of the choices we make in this life. Is God present? Of course He is. And even though He does not cross the barrier of free will, He certainly will create beauty out of whatever it is we have managed to destroy, if we but ask Him.

So, maybe, that is what we are really saying. That when seemingly bad stuff happens, God will manage our brokenness and may even restore to us what we certainly do not deserve. But, for the life of me, I cannot see how a bad decision can translate to "everything happens for a reason." All the while, being said with possibly a slight shrug of the shoulders and a lift in the voice of positive results happening from the negative.

Sorry...I just don't get it. And I do not like it when I hear it. It's almost as fruitless as saying, "It is what it is." There may be a little truth in both these statements, but surely neither can be a conclusive expression. What is the rest of the story? Do we just let things lie, and never question whatever happened "for a reason"?

Could we possibly be a part of the solution? I think maybe (maybe), instead of just accepting whatever happened (because it happened for a reason), we could be the salve for the pain it caused. We could be the safe harbor until the storm passes. We could be the example of Christ's love to those He created. Hey, wait...that would mean ALL of humanity.

Yes, things certainly do happen for a reason. And that reason has to do with mankind and how we view life. It depends on how deep our selfishness runs; our need to have things the way we want them. The need to eliminate conflict, so our lives are "peaceful". It depends on how deep our faith runs. How deep our convictions run, and how willing we are to be selfless, preferring others above ourselves. It's a tall order, I know. I have failed many times but God has always kept me afloat, so-to-speak. Never letting me drown in my own thoughtless comments and actions. Always there to piece me back together and love me regardless of the pain I may have caused others. And hopefully the battle-worn have been restored as well.

It's my conviction that God is not behind everything (especially the horribly wrong things) that happen by way of our own doing. Yes, yes, I know. "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." ~Job 1:20-22

What we must realize, is that it was not by Job's hands his whole family was taken from him. He was declaring his own faithfulness to the One who gave him life. It was a declaration of ownership. God's ownership, and what we have, or do not have. Job had worked hard all his life and had much to show for it, but then tragedy struck outside of Job's choices. Thus, "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away." Here's a side note for you...read all of the book of Job, and your problems will seem non-existent. The 42 chapters will keep you busy for awhile, but in the end, God restored everything Job had acquired, two times over. God blessed his latter days more than the beginning...and Job died a very old man.

How Job became a part of this post, I couldn't tell you. He just wandered through my brain cells as I typed. Anyway...

I exist by God's designing reason, but mostly things happen (or don't happen) to me because of my own actions, and they may or may not, bring glory to my Heavenly Father...here, in Mary's World.

When Beauty Becomes Ashes

Rain is my friend. I love rain. Everything about a rainy day calms my spirit. The sound of rain hitting the pavement; the way it cascades down my windshield as I drive; the cooler weather it brings with it during late Fall, early Winter. The smell of something fresh invites me to come outside and allow my senses to experience the blessings of the cooler weather rain brings. If I had a deck, I would be sitting there sipping Highlander Grogg coffee, or Creme Brulee...whichever Dennis decided to make for me. So, instead I use what I've got and stand on the front porch, with coffee in hand, as this morning air and gentle rain wipes away every negative thought, every anxious thought, and every fear of what may be in the future of my allotted days.

It's a little funny how something so beautiful, so relaxing, can also create more trouble than we desire. If the rain continues, day in and day out, it's not long before the earth cannot absorb this calming liquid that has been sent to us from the clouds above. Flooding may happen in low areas. And then, it becomes destructive.

As much as I love the rain, I really don't like huge amounts of water that have gathered in one place. It may be lovely to look at, to smell (well, at the beach anyway), to walk along the edges of...but it also can create a very dangerous situation. Like drowning.

When I was a small child, 9 or 10, maybe, one of my older brothers threw me into the deep end of a creek bed. "Sink or swim," he said. I had wanted to learn how to swim for a very long time, but was just too afraid to go out into deeper waters to try. He thought I would surely fight to live and thereby, swim! Nope...he was wrong. Fear paralyzed me. I was going down for the third time, when my protective sister (Becky) swam out to grab me. Brother Rush soon wished he'd not been quite so confident of my survival.

Maybe that's why I fear the ocean. Or it could be something altogether different. I've had/have, a few fears other than what Rush (unintentionally) helped create. However, I simply call this fear a healthy respect of danger. True, it's wonderful to walk along the beaches and allow the winds that blow over the waters, to wrap around you. I also love the sudden thunder storms and the gathering black clouds, that seem to come out of nowhere, while walking along the shore line. But it is quite difficult to get me onto a boat of any kind. I'm getting better, I think. But I have to command my mind to be at peace. Cruises are definitely out, at the moment. Ferry rides are okay...

Moral of this story? The things you love the most can become a danger if there is over-participation. We are to do all things in moderation. Too much of a good thing can indeed become a not-so-good thing. And yet here I go, walking into the deep...

Here's my list of beauty becoming a form of death:

1. Being with someone (anyone) ALL. THE. TIME. We need a breather, a time to reflect, a time for God. What was at the beginning beautiful, has now become fearful. Fear of loss...

2. Being so spiritual that others feel you believe yourself better than they. Let me clarify, please. Being sensitive to God's spirit in us, is indeed the best way to live our lives. It's our connection to the God of all Creation. But, if everything we say and do finds us surrounded by "those of the faith", we will never reach the lost for Christ. We will become churchy with a list do's & do not's as our necks become stiffer and stiffer.  We're simply too good to dirty ourselves. Yet, we ourselves, were once lost, and at times STILL look a little dirty. What was at the beginning beautiful, has now become fearful. Fear of loss...

3. Using all our resources and plenty, on ourselves. What God has blessed us with, we want more and more of. Nothing wrong with that. Right? Wrong. It develops a greedy spirit within us. We are to be conduits of God's grace and mercy, and not in the form of just a hug and a prayer. What was at the beginning beautiful, has now become fearful. Fear of loss...

4. Food...oh my goodness, FOOD! It truly can be a thing of beauty, needed for survival, and enjoyed at gatherings. But...it can quickly become a form of death. Too much, too much of the time, begins to weigh a person down, literally. Organs in the body that are meant to protect, get weighed down and become dysfunctional. Or they are destroyed all together, breaking down our defense against bacteria, disease, and emotional stability. What was at the beginning beautiful, has now become fearful. Fear of loss...

5. Beauty itself. Recently, I came across a show on TV, called BOTCHED. Botched is a show about fixing surgeries that have gone wrong. It's actually pretty, no, it's VERY interesting. And amazing! These doctors reverse botched up works of other professionals; surgeries I think should be categorized as "impossibility." What was at the beginning beautiful, has now become fearful. Fear of loss.

I'm confident there are items we all could add to this list, but these are the 5 things that came to mind this morning as I watched the rain, coming down in all it's beauty, in it's service to me. 

Ready for this God given day, here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

Predators Amongst Us

For a while now, my heart has been so heavy with the struggles of those close to me. People I speak with at the businesses God has allowed me to have, here in North Carolina and Miami, Oklahoma. Yes, I still carry those I love from Oklahoma, in my heart. People I've spoken with from our church (past & present); people in my own sweet family. Through many times of prayer and godly counsel, I have come upon a few reminders from God's Word and from those Dennis & I respect in the ministry.

First, and foremost, God asks us to go with Him, but much of the time we want Him to go with us, because that puts us in control of where we're headed. Much of the time, where we are headed is not where He has asked us to go. It's just where we want to go, so we ask Him to be with us as we choose our own path. We make our own destiny, right? I may have even made that crazy statement, a time or two, myself. I've never believed it, however. Yes, we must choose our path, but then allow God to direct our steps, by following hard after His instructions that are revealed through many avenues. He's given us the Holy Scriptures, He's placed His own amongst us for counsel, He's put His Holy Spirit within us to comfort and guide us in the ways of Jesus (that's another blog entry).

We must remember that He knows the paths that are destructive (we can't see the long term effect of destructive choices...He can), as well as the paths that allow us to walk in peace where our soul is at rest...even in the midst of hardship, pain, and discouragement. And it all comes from saying, "I will follow (I will obey) Christ, even when I can't understand what's happening in the present."

A "plumb line" I've always been guided by, is one that shows me when I'm off the best path for me. I check that line by asking myself if I'm at peace with my decision. Sometimes I have even convinced myself that I WAS at peace with the decision. Because I wanted the crazy thing I'd decided on, so badly, I convinced myself I was at peace with it. But I knew I wasn't, simply because I continued to question, worry, fret, and be a general mess. So now, I ask myself this: "If God and I conversed face to face, would He say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Then I try to line that decision up with Scriptural wisdom. If I can't find it, I ask those I respect in the Christian faith. Sorry, I don't sit in the counsel of those that are not qualified to point me toward godly wisdom. Before you throw rocks my way, I do believe there is good, even great, counselors that never bring our Lord into their conversation. I just don't think they can give me what I'm searching for. Humanity is fragile. Humanity wants what it wants. Humanity sees with selfish eyes. Humanity is mostly "yes" people. Without the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, I don't believe myself as having accomplished anything I couldn't accomplish on my own. They can possibly make me feel better about myself and stop hating myself...but can they give me what my heart needs to know?

God has given us counselors to help when we can't see clearly. Godly counselors. If we, as Christians, don't want Godly counsel, we can bet that our soul and our spirit are at war with each other. We feel we "know what they'll say" and we don't want to hear it. It's because we are at war with ourselves. Our spirit, soul, and body work together. If they are in conflict, something is wrong. Proverbs 11:14 tells us that without good direction we lose our way; but with the more wise counsel we follow, the better our chances. Well, actually it says, "For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers." Regardless...we understand that wise counsel keeps us steady. Not counsel that pats us on the back and tells us to do what makes us feel best. We all know feelings are fickle anyway. Feelings will lie to us. Feelings come and go. Everyone tells us to "be happy." Where are those that tell us, "Be obedient?" True happiness comes from obedience to the Father anyway. Geez...

I'm reminded of conversations about certain government officials being "Yes" men. No one wants a yes man. We all want, and NEED, men and women that have the fortitude to stand for what they know to be right. Truth always wins in the end, anyway. Right? Of course it's right. A nation, a country, a city or state, an individual...truth is what leads us. Deception is formed through lies. Lies that are meant to destroy us as individuals, as families, as a nation. And even though we may be taken out of this life as deceived individuals, truth will always win.

And most of the time we know what that truth is...we just don't want to admit it, because that would take us off the throne of our own heart where we are in charge of our own decisions; we would lose that area of control, and our pride would have to take a back seat and allow the Lordship of Jesus Christ to prevail. That's the thing. The world tells us just the opposite of what Christ tells us. But seriously, would anyone choose destruction if they knew it was destructive to all they hold dear? I doubt it. What good is pride, anyway?

The reason I share this is to encourage anyone that seems to be going through a dark place at the moment, the sun will shine again. God will take the ashes of your life and create something so beautiful, even you won't recognize it. And to remind us that we are not good navigators in this life, without the light of God shining on our path. We just can't see so well in the dark. Life, indeed, throws us more than a curve or two as we walk it out. The best way to face this life, is with God's proven victories over it. Matthew 7:7-8 tells us to seek Him and we'll find Him, knock at His door, He'll open it for us.

John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." The thief spoken of here is a spiritual predator...he is the enemy of our existence and wants nothing more than to make our lives a living hell simply because he knows we will never belong to him. We belong to God. This predator is not stronger than God. He may seem to have triumphed and won a battle or two. He will not win the war.

Life can, and does, change. God doesn't. The only thing that remains a constant in this life, and the one to come, is the love of our Heavenly Father. He will withhold no good thing from those who love Him.

Constantly searching for truth, here you'll find me...in Mary's World.