My Last Nerve...Whatever That Means

When did I become so impatient? Have I always been this way? I thought just being a mom would develop at least a little bit of patience. Maybe I was wrong.

This past Wednesday we had a state-of-the-art refrigerator freezer combo that cost a bazillion dollars, delivered to us because our 11 year + one seemed to have one leg in the grave and the other on a banana peel. It had started the process of expelling water in an uncomely manner, leaving puddles on our wooden floor. We had done everything the internet told us to do 'cause we trust the internet. Nothing worked like they said it would, so a changing-of-the-rag had to be applied. Daily.

Long (very long) story short, once the changing of the guard had happened, and the new kid on the block had begun to cool, I found myself getting the products (that had been sitting in the cooler for 3.5 hours) arranged inside their fancy new home. I was waiting to put the frozen items away because, well, because the freezer wasn't cooling down, let alone freezing! All surfaces felt hot to the touch. Even the outside of the unit felt hot, except for the top part which was the refrigerator part. And it felt downright cold!

Antsy me, put in a call to the powers that be. And they shot me down. Nothing they could do. They didn't schedule "repair jobs" on the same day something was delivered. I could bring the fridge back to the store and purchase another one, if I wanted, he said. "Why would I want to do THAT?!" I asked. "I just paid $XXXX for this one and it's not working. Why should I think another one would be any better? And besides that, it took TWO WEEKS to get this one after the order was put in." All he could say was, "I understand." "Do you?" I inquired. "Maybe the store would want to buy my frozen items that  cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $300, because they are about to go bad on me," said I. "Doesn't it stand to reason that a NEW fridge would actually work?" Again, all he could say was, "I understand." I think he was scared of me...

I decided to have Dennis take care of the matter because my neck was sweating. He's always so calm and laid back and believes everything will be okay. No matter how dire. "It will be okay, Mary. I'll take care of it after work." In about 3 minutes, I get a text message. "Get me the number for their corporate offices. They've made me mad." This was getting interesting. DENNIS was mad???! 

Just for fun, I pulled out the instruction booklet the delivery guys had left with me. The fridge has so many exciting facets to it, it practically hands us a glass of cold water before we ask. So I thought maybe there was a secret button that hadn't been turned on, or something, even though the delivery guy said I could start loading it immediately because it would be cooled down in nothing flat. 

Hmmmm...what's this? "Freezer compartment could take up to 24 hours to chill." I quietly laid the manual down and walked away.

Then, today while sitting at a red light that is known to turn green for 3 seconds, then back to red, my little Soul Red Mazda idled quietly behind a little fancy smancy Audi, both waiting patiently for their turn to gun it through the intersection before the light turned red again. Maybe if they both stayed alert it could be done. I was really hoping the owner of the Audi was paying attention because I was needing to get to the salon ahead of my client. And all it would take for me to lose another 15 minutes waiting for the light to turn green again, would be for the little Audi to be primping for all the BMW's, the Toyota 4Runner's, and the Mercedes Benz Coupes that were strutting by.  I knew it was going to happen. And it did. "GREEN LIGHT, LADY! GREEN LIGHT!" It could have been a guy behind the wheel of that fancy little Audi for all I knew. It's just easier to blame the ladies. Whoever was at the helm, just sat there letting the clock tick. I'm usually not so impatient, but I "lightly" tapped my horn. GET THE MOVE ON, LADY! GO!!! As the light was turning back to red, the Audi pulled out, leaving me to sit for another 15 minutes. But at least I was first in line for the next green light. My fingers gave the steering wheel a deep tissue massage...

Patience is over-rated. Nothing gets done without a bit of irritation. Becoming annoyed helps the body to pump blood and oxygen through cholesterol filled vessels and force them to organs in need. Right?

Waiting for the light on Kildaire and Cornwall to turn green, here you will find me...in Mary's World. 

Finding Hope

Have you ever had built up expectations, in hopes something MIGHT happen before you get too old to enjoy it? Kids have no problem imagining their dreams becoming reality. They hold onto hope because they can see themselves in the place of their deep desire. 

As we age, reality teaches us that not all dreams become something we can touch. Tangible dreams are a bit harder to grab onto. Yet, they CAN become tangible. How? Glad you asked. 

Many years ago, someone told me to think bigger than what my mind was telling me was possible. At that time, I wasn't really sure what that looked like, simply because I had trust issues. I doubted anything I wanted would become anything I could actually experience. It's just what my life was, I told myself. I was so short-sighted back then. 

It takes believing in a God of miracles. A God that placed everything we have need of, inside us, from the first beat of our heart while still being woven inside our mother's womb. Yes, I do believe that. He is a creative God, that made us in His image. That must mean we have the creative gene in us, right? Plus,He came to show us HOW to live an overcoming life. A life of value, of peace, of hope & love (when love isn't warranted). A life of creating something out of nothing. Troubles there will be. Troubles build faith. Faith creates patience. And patience gives way to having a lack of nothing. ~James 1:2-4 (paraphrased)

So...why do I have a picture of our grand girl heading up this post? Firstly, I know it will get your attention. She's just too cute, not to. Am I right? 😉 Secondly, this picture was taken at Walt Disney World last week. She had been wanting to go there, for the last couple of years, but it took a bit of patience working out the issues surrounding that trip. But she held onto hope. And hope is the reason for this blog post.

Hope produced its good work, eventually. She and her momma had so much fun while there and came home pretty tired. They were filled up with expectations met, which in turn was energy draining. But, recharging is never an issue for these two. And it wasn't any different this time, as I picked them up at the airport. They did not disappoint. I got to listen to their journey unfold, as I maneuvered air port traffic and interstate crazies. I think maybe I drove just a bit more strategically, just from feeling their energy. They may have looked a bit frazzled, but one couldn't tell from listening to their story unfold. How many times have I been so very grateful Dennis and I moved to be closer to our girls and their girls? More than anyone could count, most likely. It's been 10 years now, since our move. Not one day have we regretted picking up the homestead of 39 years, and transferring it to North Carolina, to live out the rest of our time on earth, next to where our heart is. Home truly is where the heart is, and our heart(s) were/are in NC. Just down the proverbial road from us, instead of 1200 miles away.

Faith doesn't come easily, however. It has to work through things. Like tired legs (doing the work...spirit), impatience (wanting it now...mind), troubles along the way (unexpected delays...body). Just like this picture of our girl waiting...resting her legs, her mind, her body. But still watching for the treasure to show itself. In this case, the transport bus that would carry her and her momma back to the resort. Trusting it would come. I'm telling you, children are rich with examples of faith being built, if we but watch. And listen. Wish I had a dollar for every time a little person has spoken life to me. 

As I mentioned before, living life can, and does on occasion, take the wind out of our sails. Only because we forget to hold onto hope of a better day. We become tunnel visioned at times, where all we see is the dirt around our feet, forgetting to look up at the expanse of the Universe and all its wonders. We forget to see the tapestry of God and how it actually works. Speaking of tapestry, have you ever turned one over to view the back side? That's where all the magic happens. The threads are woven over each other, sometimes looking quite tangled, knotted, and just plain confused, yet produces something of great beauty as they weave themselves together with the other threads. Think about it...

Soaking in all the goodness of our God, here you will find me...in Mary's World

 

Trust the Process

Admittedly, there have been times I've rushed the process, not completely trusting the results of waiting something out. Trying to reach the end of whatever it is I'm dealing with in business and/or personal relationships, I tend to get a little "antsy". Who likes to wait it out? Not many. Maybe no-one, if we're truthful. We want results now...not "only God knows when."

Bare with me for a bit as I draw a parallel. Recently, I worked with a client wanting her hair to be more red. Not flaming red...just more red. Our starting palate was more of a chocolate brown, so getting a brighter red entwined in those curly tresses was going to take a little correction in the depths of the hair. Meaning, I would need to strip some of that chocolate out before trying to infuse the red. Well, I took the shortcut and it didn't work so well. Good thing I had a sweet, understanding client. I really did think this would be the easiest on her hair (natural curl is very porous and doesn't like a lot of chemical action), and would satisfy the look we were going for. I was wrong. I brought her back into the salon to strip the hair of color (like I should have done in the first place) by a bit of bleaching, using the baby lites technique. This would be the least damaging, and would give her the red she wanted, after rinsing the hair and adding red into the lifted pieces along with the rest of the hair.

I rushed the process. When I checked the hair, I noticed the red was deepening and I didn't want it to get so dark that we'd be faced with virtually the same issue of not being noticeable as it blended into the darker hair. I didn't trust the process. She had to come back a SECOND time. No, I'm not proud of that. In fact, I'm a little embarrassed because of it. This time, I was going to make sure we got what we wanted, and so, after doubling the dye load and applying triple the normal application, I left the product on the amount of time instructed. This time it came out beautiful! I did need to tone down the roots a bit since it had been a month since I'd seen her last and the root area, well, it was virgin hair. Hair that loved that double dye load. And that's another story. It did eventually end well. Thank God!

My point is that if I'd trusted the process to begin with, she would not have had to make so many trips to the salon. And I wouldn't have egg all over my face. Whatever that means...

Walking through life, we tend to travel the same road many times over, simply because we don't trust the process and the results that come with the tried and true. It's as if we expect life to throw roses our way, but forget those roses also have thorns. We seem to give up way too easily. Sure, we try to figure things out for the good of everyone. We just don't wait for the process to prove trustworthy. It would seem as though patience and perseverance are in short supply. They're not, you know. We've just got to remember the path was walked out for us long ago. A record of how to live life, fully whole, was made for us. We were given a road map, as it were, to living life. One of the reasons Christ came to earth was to show us how to walk upon injustice, how not to take into account a wrong suffered, how to love instead of hate. He walked, as a man (fully God and fully man, I Timothy 2:5), through everything we'll ever have to face...and more.

Years ago, before the internet, I heard people make the comment when becoming a parent for the first time, "I wish baby's came with a rule book." They did/do come with a rule book. It's the same rule book we follow throughout life. It's called the Bible. But you knew that, didn't you? You just didn't think about it as being something one would go to for instruction on raising a child.

We've got to trust the process. It won't fail us. However, when we do fail to trust, we can ask for do-overs. Like I did with my client. And depending on how long you've made things happen the way you want them to, will decide if a do-over is allowed. Sometimes, those we've messed with will walk away, but God remains faithful as He asks us to consider a different outcome. He surely must shake His head at us (me) from time to time.

Most of the things I blog about are things I'm experiencing at the moment. They are my inspiration. So, if the shoe fits...I guess I'll share mine with you...here, in Mary's World.