Things I Learned Two Days Ago...I Think

Dennis and I went, for the first time since moving here, to the NC State Fair this past Monday. Here's what I learned:

1. Never give advice (or suggestions) to another Senior Citizen.
    It was pretty dang cold Monday morning. Waiting in line to board a transit bus, the wind gently caressed and enveloped all that were standing there. The lady directly in front of me had very short hair, ears exposed to the blustery day. I should have kept my mouth shut.

2. I am a Senior Citizen.
   The bus was loaded with old people. As far as the eye could see, forward and backwards, people with canes, no hair, and very slow, to non-existent, movement. I wondered how they would make it up those hilly inclines at the fairgrounds. So, evidently, transits are for the elderly. I didn't know that...but now I do. I like transits.

3. My memory is fleeting.
    Entering the fairgrounds, the gate keeper informed me I was not "over the hill". I was merely an "informed adult", or an "informed individual", or a "mature adult", or a "mature individual"...whatever, you get the picture. I really don't remember. And actually whatever it was she said, I forgot after taking approximately 10 steps forward...but I liked it. Whatever it was. By now I was beginning to really appreciate being a senior citizen. It seems to be a good luck charm when going anywhere. Discounts all over the place. AND a free pass into the fair! Ha! Dennis had to pay $10 to experience the same things I experienced for $0.00! (Big smiley face goes here).

4. Expect lines to move slowly.
    No one seems to be in a hurry in the world of seniors. It just takes time to sort through which archived money one should use. Cash? If so, from which secret pocket in the purse should it be taken from? The Christmas Fund? The Loose Cash Fund? The "Saved for a Rainy Day" Fund? The "Where Did THAT Come From Fund"? Maybe one should just use that piece of plastic and hold onto the cash. But which Credit Card? Which Debit Card? Better use one that is covered of fraudulent charges just in case the vendor decides to keep the info on the card. Decisions, decisions. (Memo: I don't have all this free flowing cash; in case you're thinking of following me, with intent of knocking me in the head).

5. Expect detours while on the fairgrounds. (Go ahead and speculate on what that means exactly...)

6. There is more than one way to cook bacon.
    This one I learned from a total stranger I found myself talking to, about a ceramic bacon fryer, in a pottery vendors palace. Strangers become good friends by the time you reach mature adulthood. We welcome ANY interaction, since family has their own life to live and it rarely interacts with yours. So...the bacon recipe. The bacon in the picture looked limp and icky. My new found friend had the perfect solution, and  I'm going to try her suggestion. Hummmm....maybe I'm NOT a senior citizen. Taking suggestions, and all...
    Here's the how-to:  Layer bacon on aluminum foiled cookie sheet
                                   Cook in oven at 350 degrees, for 10 minutes
It's supposed to come out very crispy with no spattering mess to clean up. Awesome.

7. Football really does unite people across the globe.
    Dennis had several strangers stop to talk football. All because he wore his colors. When leaving the fairgrounds, a "mature adult" walked past and said, ever so nonchalantly, "Boomer", with which Dennis replied, ever so nonchalantly, "Sooner." Without looking back, she exclaimed to her husband, "He's a real one." Of course they had to be stopped and visited with.

8. Seniors, even though they have a couple of years to go before being legally known as a "Senior Citizen" (aka the one who still has to pay to get into the Fair), will develop pain in the lower torso that travels down at least one leg and into the same foot after walking a few hours up and down hilly terrain, but still gets a kick out of holding hands with people dressed as Mother Earth and walks on stilts.

The REAL Senior just put this in her memory bank. The bank that serves her well...for the next 10 forward steps.

9. If you keep watch on the time in the midst of all the fun of eating funnel cakes, hot, homemade apple pie with stone cold vanilla ice-cream on top, chili dogs, turkey legs, onion rings, and hot apple cider, and visiting with total strangers (and strange people in general), and taking time to admire the beauty of the florists gardens...the transit will get you home before dark.

WHERE ARE ALL THE PICTURES I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE?!!

Thankfully, I still know my way home...here, in Mary's World.

Jealousy's Fire

She was wed just over a year when the President of a well-to-do bank asked her if she would be interested in working for him as a bank teller in their loan department. Working as a waitress, she had brought food to his table many times. He took notice of her work ethics; her quickness of hand, her ability to meet the public with a smile, and a true desire to please.

She had been employed at the bank for only a week, when her trainer met with the boss to give him a review of the first week and how the new girl handled herself. "She's a fast learner," the trainer said. "I don't think we should keep her in bookkeeping. She needs to be up front, meeting and serving the public," said the trainer.

Well into the first year of being employed by the busiest bank in town, and the greatest boss of all time, the new girl was given more and more responsibility. She loved her job. She felt important. The President would stop by her window and visit every day. They laughed together, shared stories, and became friends. He felt he had made a good choice in her.

Having worked on a farm, the new girl wasn't afraid of work...nor did she consider work to be a dirty word. She loved using her hands to produce something bigger than herself. She loved being needed. When her work was complete, she would find someone to help that may be having trouble finishing before the end of their day. Always wanting to help others, she never felt as if she was hired for just one job; but to actually be a team player. Everyone enjoyed working with her. All but one girl...

Jealousy raged within this one girl. She had watched as the President came every day to visit with the new girl. She had noticed the new girl was given a large bonus at Christmas, only a few months after her hire-in date. She notice it was hand delivered by the President, even though the new girl asked to be excused from the Christmas party where the bonuses were handed out. The party the employees had always been required to attend or they would have to forfeit their bonuses. She had noticed how quickly the new girl had gained popularity and she was not okay with that.

One afternoon, about closing time, the mail pile was high. The new girl noticed this and asked if she could help. The one girl was not making much headway in getting all the accounts posted in payments receivable. The new girl was being kind and wanted to help out. And even though the insurance department was helping with the mail, the one girl did not want the new girl anywhere around her. But, alas, the work must be done. The boss said, "let her help."

As the new girl reached for a stack of mail, the one girl glared, with head down, and never spoke a word to the new girl. Never acknowledged the new girl was there. "Are you okay?" the new girl asked. With voice low and filled with hate, the one girl said, "I hate you." The new girl was completely caught off guard. Her honest heart tried to process what she had just been told. "Why do you hate me?" the new girl ventured. "I don't know. I just hate you," responded the one girl, all the while never allowing their eyes to meet.

That was 38 years ago...and the new girl still shudders when she remembers that day.

"So what?" you ask. Is there a moral to this story? It continues to amaze me at just how damaging our words can be. And how life giving they can be. Words can damage a spirit for an eternity, it would seem. They can also lift and encourage for an eternity, it would seem. So why do we find it necessary to wound, to scar others, to convince them they aren't worth our time? I don't know that I'll ever know the complete answer to those questions. Other than the damaging effects that self-centeredness creates in us, these hating words must come from a heart filled with need. Material songs have been written about it. Like, "I Need You to Need Me", "Shake It Off", "Hater's Are Gonna Hate", and the list goes on & on.

The Scriptures tell us "The tongue has the power of life and death." ~Proverbs 18:21, and, "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness."  ~James 3:9 

Signing off, for today, maybe we can ask of the Lord to settle these words, from Psalm 19:14, deep in our spirit. And maybe...just maybe, we'll make it through the day with a lightness in our heart and kind words on our lips. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer." ~Psalm 19:14

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World

I Fear We Know Not the True Meaning of Love

We say, "I love you," but when the test comes to prove our love, we fail miserably.

"Love" is a word thrown around much too freely, in my opinion. Love lives through adversity, through injustice, through the times we feel most defeated. That is where we find just how much we truly love one another.

Love survives the pain and never acts unbecomingly. Love takes hits and does not react with revenge at it's heart. Love cannot hate. Love cannot do anything but love, in spite of what it must endure.

Do we love simply when others are behaving how we think they should? How we desperately need them to? Do we love only when the one we say we love, compliments who we are? Or do we throw stones at our offender? Do we alienate them because they hurt us and knocked us off our feet with their actions, or do we learn patience in the midst of the storm? Are we capable of holding onto hope, when there seems none exists?

Do we resort to throwing stones, or at least, stony stares, at those we believe to have made a horrible mistake? Or do we simply ignore them? You know the ones..the ones we told a long time ago that we loved. Those who we believe to have sinned against all things holy...and US! Those people. I'm reminded of the Scripture in John 8:7, where Jesus was writing in the sand, as those who stood around Him were wanting to stone a woman caught in adultery. By-the-way, does anyone know where the guy was? Why wasn't HE brought to Jesus, as well? I guess she should have known better. He was just doing what guys do. Right? It had to be all her. He was just an innocent by-stander. Jesus had another thought about all that. He told them, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

For the last few years, I have been fascinated with this powerful word. Love; the word many of us seem to use when we actually mean, "You make me happy." Love was never intended to make us happy. Grateful, maybe...but, happy? Happy is as emotion that comes from being satisfied with an outcome. May I say, it's even a selfish emotion? An emotion that fades and is never consistent. It's prominent  one day, and the next, not so much. We may have even grown to hate, what we thought we once "loved." And, I say it all too often, myself! "I LOVE this weather!" "I LOVE how she/he looks (or carries themselves)!" "I LOVE this pizza!" "I LOVE YOU!?" And, let's not forget the sentimental love phrase, "I love you like you were one of my own." Or, "I'll always love you!" What happens to that love once the storms of life hit? Is that love still visible?  Does our heart scream in pain because of the love we shared with another and now seems distant? And how do we show it, if it does still remain? Can love actually be alive one day and not the next? I think not. Love is stable...always. Love is an action. It has your back when you've fallen. It never spreads gossip about you. It never kicks you when you're down. Never. Do we love...or are we just happy in the moment?

Love came to us as a sacrifice. To love is to sacrifice, even when the other seems to have been captured by aliens. Love is visible for all to see. Love is demonstrated. It seems that we honor our personal feelings above almost everything. We do what we want when we want because we "feel" like it. And if we don't "feel" like it, we don't do it. We need to know what love is. What it looks like when acted out.

According to I Corinthians 13:4-8a
1. Love is patient (suffers a long time, if need be)
2. Love is kind (but often tough)
3. Love is not jealous (jealousy cannot exist with love in the same heart)
4. Love does not brag (showing spiritual immaturity)
5. Love is not arrogant (grasping for power...control...disrespectful)
6. Love does not act unbecomingly (rude actions)
7. Love does not seek it's own agenda (demanding, dominating)
8. Love is not provoked (not given to emotional outbursts)
9. Love does not take into account a wrong suffered (does not hang onto reminders of wrongs)
10. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth (does not pat themselves on the back when someone has a shortcoming, because "they would never do that.")
11. Love bears all things (protects others)
12. Love believes all things (gives others the benefit of the doubt)
13. Love hopes all things (refuses to take failure as final)
14. Love endures all things (holds fast to the people it loves)
15. Love never fails ('nuff said)

We come up short, many times, thinking we really show love easily, when in reality, we show love when it is reciprocated to our satisfaction. It's a tough one, to be sure. None of us love perfectly, but we can grow in our understanding and application of love. We just need to identify it.

All three types of love, Eros (Greek for desire & longing), Philos (a friend that sticks closer than a brother, type of love), and Agape (unconditional love for anyone & everyone), are all governed by the above description. So...do we really love?

When God gets my attention on something, and won't allow me to shake it loose...when He continues to bring it into my conscience thoughts, I must ask myself, "What am I missing? What have I yet to learn about this?" And it is beating at my door today.

As always, here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

The Freedom and Bondage of Being Alone

We were never meant to be alone. Yet, many are. God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created a helper fit for him. (Gen. 2:18).

I know we women-folk believe (at times) we don't need a man. We believe enough in ourselves to think what needs to be done, we can do. After all, we're the ones created to "help", right? But I've watched, over the years, as strong women with this view, become lonely women, in time. They say they're not...yet it's visible in their eyes. Truth is, it makes life worth so much more when we have someone to share it with. Someone we are suited for. Someone to share in our joys, our sorrows, our fears, our achievements. Someone to share life and all it brings to us.

The operative word is "SHARE", not simply exist with, having two separate worlds, so-to-speak. It's so much easier to be alone when your mate rarely knows you're around, or rarely-to-never helps with anything, but actually makes life harder by adding to your "helper" list, while it seems they have nothing better to do than entertain themselves with the latest technology available or who values friends more than their mate. Or when you suddenly find yourself looking at what once seemed good, as now not being so good. What caused the "eye-opening" change? And that's another story...

Freedom comes with a cost. Sometimes a mighty big cost. Sometimes a painful cost, which initially seems like relief, but eventually shows itself ugly. Sometimes, actually feeling like bondage. Ah...the despair of freedom. It's never easy, but what is? And the age old question rages on in many the mind. "Who am I?" "Why am I here?" "What is the meaning of my life?"

Change happens when we least expect it, either because of our choices, or because of someone else's choice...yet God has planted eternity in the human heart. We were created for immortality and life's changes prepare us for that eternity. There we find our life's purpose. In Him alone. And I fear THIS, this is where we get confused and make decisions apart from consulting our loving Creator, as we put our eyes on the earthly, the mundane, the exasperating, and the difficult situations that all life brings. Fears of not being in control.

And because we choose to go on our own steam, our own secure thoughts and determinations blow high and wide. Some may have even been "thought out" and considered, with thoughts of making it all better. Some are great decisions. Some are not.

I've not always faced my fears, like I do now that I'm on the back side of the proverbial hill. Back in the day, I let fear rule my actions...and I was held captive to an aggressive man that nearly took my life. Twice! Then everything changed. I decided (or was it the veiled encouragement of my God), that I would rather be dead than live each day not knowing what it would bring. Maybe, just maybe, God knew what I needed to escape the prison I was allowing myself to be in, even though I was not serving Him then. He showed me a way of escape, where there seemed to be none. Then, in the natural realm. Later, in the spiritual realm. And I boldly took that step. Both times.

At that time in my life, I wanted nothing more than to be alone. Alone and free. Free to be me. Free to not be watched over every second of every day. Free to make my own choices. Free from accusation. Free from abusive hands/fists. Free from threats. Free from lies. Free from alcohol induced behavior. But even that freedom brought bondage, eventually. Simply because I had not learned who I could trust, and I trusted no-one. It's still very hard for me to trust in humanity. But I do know who I can perfectly rely on. It is God. He never fails me, never leaves me to my own devises. He corrects me, guides me, walks beside me, and whispers in my ear. Okay...so that sounded a little creepy. By whispering in my ear, I simply mean He has a way of getting my full attention. And I so rely on that, because I know how crazy I can be in making decisions on my own.

Freedom/Bondage...it can actually be a good thing. In Christ alone is there true freedom to be who we are/were created to be. In Christ alone is there true life giving, bondage. What? Yes, the good bondage of knowing we belong to Him. We serve no other. A slave of the One who Created us. How simply wonderful it is, to not venture out and listen to (or serve) someone who wants nothing but to destroy us; to take our freedom to be anything other than who we were created to be.

Fully free, fully in bondage, and thankful God knows me better than I know myself...here you'll find me...in Mary's World.

I Live In A Perfect World

I live in a perfect world.

A world full of beauty. Perfect beauty.

Have you ever looked closely at a flowers design? How about a snowflake under a microscope? And the stars that hang in the night sky? What about the carpet of grass we walk on, or the waterfalls that cascade down the cliffs in mountainous regions? We could admire all the various types of trees...the Amazon, the Rain Forests, the flat lands. I love a fresh Spring rain, and even some of the "gully washes" that produce thunder and lightening. I love the smell of the rain and it's aftermath. I love hearing the pitter-patter of the rain as it hits the sides of our house. There's just something calming about all that to me. I could fill this entire blog with the perfect beauty of this earth. There is a never ending list of beauty. And it's all been placed here for our enjoyment through God's spoken word. And even though mankind has tried to replicate God's perfection, by using our hands and minds, and gathering materials we've scooped out of earths elements and mixed together, we have to agree that in the beginning, it all came from our perfect God. Every element used to create. Even our ability to replicate (or recreate). We've sought wisdom and knowledge, and it's been given to us. Just as He promised (Matthew 7:7) Perfection!

But what about human life on this perfect planet? What about mankind and all their messes, their discontentment, their sullen lifestyle, their argumentative nature, their ill-will toward others, the foul verbiage that spews over on occasion. Maybe it's not really foul, but just possibly they've chosen to make things about their self, not considering another's feelings. The hurt, the pain, the unnecessary rudeness. Disrespect for another. What about random killings, abortion, physical & mental abuse, child pornography, and human trafficking? What about all that stuff? How does that happen in a perfect world?

Glad you asked. I've pondered the saying, "If it were a PERFECT world...", on several occasions. I've always wanted to respond with, "It IS a perfect world," but never have. Too afraid of being ostracized. And I'm relatively sure there will be a few, in not many, that will even now disagree. And that's okay. It's just something that has been floating around in my head lately. A musing of mine.

Why I think it to be a perfect world, when it seems that imperfect abounds, is simply because with all the imperfection, we are forced to either lean into a holy God, or walk in a fog. If we choose to petition God, we become teachable, even changeable. We grow in patience, understanding, showing grace, mercy, and possibly, we become a bit more "perfect" and begin to see perfection in a much different light. If we choose the fog, it only makes our own piece of the world not so "perfect." Yet, it is remains perfect still. Because we've chosen to stick our heads in the sand and refuse to lift our heads up, does not diminish the fact we live in a perfect world. It may have a few stains on it, here and there, because we ourselves are imperfect. And we may still groan for redemption, yet it is all perfect. Our world remains perfect. What we do with our piece of it is up to us.

I think it almost funny, how God created all this beauty and then added humanity...which He later  regretted, by-the-way (Genesis 6:6).

There is a Scripture that I love. It comes from Jeremiah 29:11. It says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God had told the Israelites they would prosper as they sought the peace and prosperity of the city they had been exiled to (they were in exile because of their disobedience, and they were about to hear the plans He had for them). As the city prospered, so would they. They had to be part of the reason the city they had been exiled to, prospered.

There was a condition on this promise, as there are on all promises. God is not the great Santa Clause in the sky. He has promised to bless the work of our hands (Deuteronomy 28:12), not give us everything we want...but all that we work for. It all makes perfect sense, right? If the city we live in is a prosperous one, the likelihood of us being in a position to prosper is pretty high. And how does a city become prosperous? By those who live and work there...that's how. God's perfection comes to those who are willing to make an effort to make others lives better, while providing for their own needs.

As we walk out our journey in this perfect world, we must remember that the best growth comes through persevering through trials, not escaping them entirely. And when we learn perseverance, we find surprising joy. Perfection!

Here I'll remain, in my piece of perfection...in Mary's World.

The Amputee Tree

Before we bought our house on Warren Street, the city of Cary had sent tree trimming crews out to

free up lines that were being overtaken by the growth of various trees. One of those trees just happened to be growing, with very deep roots, in the yard that was to eventually be ours. It was one of the reasons I didn't want this house from the very beginning. "They might as well have cut the whole tree down," I said to myself. "That is one ugly tree." And it kept me from looking at the house for a couple of weeks. The picture you see here, shows the limbs just under the wires, and are a part of this once beautiful tree (picture snapped at dusk...a little dark). The void you see is carved out around the electrical wires. The lower limbs reach to the pictures left edge, just beneath the pole. Half the tree is simply gone...amputated.

Thank God I got over myself. The truth of the matter was that our backs were sort of up against that proverbial wall and we needed a place to set down roots of our own...ASAP.

The huge Fir tree stands so majestically along the yards border that faces the street, even though it has had one side very aggressively cut...all the way back to the trunk. This tree is waayyyy taller than our house, and the width is at least two Crossover Car lengths. It looks as if it should fall, from being too heavy on the side that wasn't touched by the very bad, aggressive sawing person. The limbs are so full and beautiful on the side no-one sees (unless they come for a visit). It's a very big amputee tree.

One day (after moving into the house that Mary rejected), a neighbor lady stopped by to visit. Why she felt it necessary to discuss our tree, is beyond me. But she did. "That is one ugly tree," she said. "I would cut it down, if it were mine," said the sweet lady. Now why did that make me fall in love with that damaged tree? Why did I think it was a thing of beauty from that moment on?

I began to spruce it up by adding a bench embellished with intricate design, just beneath it's lush

branches. The ivy that grows up it's trunk swayed so gently against the bench and created a place that beckons one to come sit for a bit. Thinking that possibly a nice mailbox just a few feet away, would make another great distraction, we switched from the mailbox on the house to one beside the road, and then decided to add a sweet smelling Jasmine bush to trail up a metal section of fence just at the back of the mailbox.
Planting an array of seasonal flowers (that are kinda dead at the moment) at the base of the mailbox, created nothing short of a miracle for trading pain for beauty. I don't even notice that half my tree is missing anymore.

Why am I telling this story? This tree, and my sweet neighbor, has taught me that beauty manifests itself in odd and peculiar ways. Just because one may have encountered danger and subsequent pain, in their life, does not mean they cannot be viewed as beautiful. It's what we add to our lives, that will distract the really ugly and not worth the effort of living part. Just because someone (maybe we did it to ourselves) has caused a lot of damage to us mentally and/or physically, does not constitute a reason for giving up. When we realize God has placed beauty all around us, it adds to our life, and our ugly diminishes greatly. And no-one notices the less-than-perfect because they smell the sweet fragrance of a soul tenderly cared for by a loving God. It makes them want to come sit for awhile beneath the shelter of the imperfect.

I don't know for certain, but I strongly suspect that most, if not all people, battle negativity in one form or another. Because we have been mistreated, because we have been misunderstood, because we are not popular, because we have lost our way, because we feel unloved (for whatever reason). We have been amputated. A piece of us has been taken, unwillingly. If you are one of those people, please know that God loves you so very much. You are worth everything to Him. He has planted a Jasmine Bush (as it were), by sending His Son to take our sorrows, and cover us with His fragrance.  He's positioned a bench, by giving us access to His Throne Room through prayer, so that we might come sit with Him for a bit. He has given us beauty for ashes.

Listening for my God's gentle voice, here you'll find me, sitting for a bit...in Mary's World.

The News From Here

It's been a while since I've written a personal blog post.  Nothing stirring enough to inspire me to write...but NOW, it's finally happened! Blab time!!!!

We are going to be GRAND-PARENTS (at last), and I've been given permission to blab about it. I've kept this secret for far too long, but I promise not to over-do it and end up boring everyone to tears. I know you'll give me this one shot at proclaiming the goodness of God in allowing a new creation to become a part of our little family.

Clark & Meg will hold this sweet baby in their arms come next March, and grandma will get to smother the little cuppy-cake with kisses. But until that day arrives, there will be a lot of one sided conversations going on whenever Meg is around. It may sound a little wonkers around here for the next 7 months, but I gotta make sure my grand-baby knows his (or her) grand-mommy's voice, right?

Today, Dennis and I received a picture of their first ultra-sound. The baby is only 3/4 of an inch long, yet so precious to look at. They (Clark, Meg & Lindsey) got to see the heart beating today! Really? Three quarters of an inch long...and there is already a heart beating inside it's tiny body! It's so amazing to me that this little bunch of human cells will grow muscle tissue, bones, and an immune system...and will one day walk beside us, here, on planet Earth. Oh my goodness! My face is beginning to hurt from smiling so big and I think my heart may just burst with joy.

It seems a very long time ago, yet not so many years, when I brought our youngest home from Freeman Hospital in Joplin, MO. The one that is now carrying a baby of her own. Her big sister, at 19 months old, was so excited to see her new baby sister. She stared at her a lot. She helped care for her. And she loved her. I know there are many stories they have shared over their growing up years, and even as they became young women. I'm so very happy they have each other to lean on, to share life with, to laugh, to cry, and even to mourn with. What a great momma Meg will be. What a great Auntie, Lindsey will be. My girls...

Until I'm allowed to blubber some more...here you'll find me...in Mary's growing World.