My Friend

My late friend Jani, has been on my mind consistently for a while now. Memories of her just pop in my head. Some little something will remind me of her smile, her laugh, her prayers. I drove by some road kill the other day...a skunk...that made me laugh remembering that Jani loved the scent of skunk. She wanted to bottle the fragrance. What???! I have a pic of her in my chemical service book. There she is with that pretty smile of hers with the twinkle in her eye. She's holding one of her favorite hand puppets. She wanted me to keep this picture in her file so I could see the way she wanted her hair cut.

Every day, as I go to work, I must pass a couple of trees on Veterans Boulevard, that were "our trees". Jani and I used to talk about those trees and the symbolism they were to us. The tall one with few limbs was Dennis & me. We hadn't really affected or reached as many people as she and Leroy...thus the few limbs. (My thoughts...not hers). The shorter one with all the branches was Jani and Leroy, who had been foster parents for many years and had affected many lives. I shall never forget the look that came out of her eyes one day as we drove past them together. Beneath the tree that we had dubbed hers was what appeared to be a root cellar. Funny...neither of us had really noticed it before. It was covered in vines and all sorts of connecting bondage's as if it were sealed where no one could enter without first doing major destruction. I said, "I wonder what is in that cellar." Her eyes met mine with a look that haunts me to this day. "I don't know," she replied.

Well, you would have to know the way my mind, along with my friend's mind, worked, to understand the sense of foreboding we both felt. That was the first and the last time we discussed it. I can't remember just how long it was after the drive, that we had a terrible ice storm that destroyed many of our city's trees. Her tree was one of them.

There was only one other time I remember seeing that same look in her eye, and it was during the time God was preparing to bring her home. Her final lap in the race she had run. What a race it was! A unique individual, that one! We laughed, we cried, we shared many thoughts, memories and just plain ole good times. But that look...it was a knowing look without admission. She was spending a few days in a local nursing home and I felt her time was near. We had gone to visit her and like most days, there were a number of people surrounding her. She was loved. As we prepared to leave I wanted to pray with her, so I slipped between her bed and the wall. She couldn't speak at this point in her journey...the surgeries had damaged the area that controlled speech. I gently took her hand in mine and prayed for God's grace and mercy and reminded Him how much we needed her. Her eyes met mine...there was that look again. "I'll never forget you," I whispered in her ear, as tears streamed down my face. Within the week my friend went home to be with her Creator, her Saviour, her friend, her Redeemer.

The root cellar? It had it's own symbolism. Turns out it's name was brain cancer, deeply rooted, without acceptance. But, you can't wipe out a life as beautiful as hers. If you ever drive down Veteran's Blvd., notice the green vine growing up the dead tree. My friend lives on in the heart's of those she left behind, producing extended life on planet Earth. If I can touch half the number of people Jani did; if I can make a difference, as she did...my life here will not have been in vain. God was evident in her life. I pray that God will show himself to others through the life I live here as He did through my friend. I will never forget...

Control Issues?

A jet pilot friend of Os Hillman once told him that whenever a jet goes out of control and begins to spin, the only thing to do is totally take your hands off the controls and the plane will right itself. This goes against our natural inclination to control and manipulate in order to bring things back under control. It is scary to be out of control. Or is it?

Saul was a man out of control. He was losing control of his kingdom to David. He was losing the favor of God and the people. It began as compromises. Eventually he was given a final test to obey the voice of God fully. He was instructed to kill the Amalekites completely; but he failed to follow through. The prophet Samuel delivered a hard word to King Saul, "Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has rejected you as king" (I Sm. 15:26). Saul obeyed partially, but not fully. It was partial obedience that led to his removal as king of Israel and his calling from God. Why did Saul do such a thing? "I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them" (I Samuel 15:24b). Saul's fear and insecurity made him more afraid of the people and what they thought than of God. At the core of Saul's disobedience was fear of losing control. That fear led to partial obedience and the loss of his reign as king. I Samuel 15:23 says, "For rebellion is like the sin of occult practices, and arrogance like the evil of idol worship. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has rejected you as king." How many of us, I wonder, are in danger of losing God's blessing due to partial obedience? How many of us have such a need to control people and circumstances that we fail to fully walk in obedience to God's voice in our lives? Saul provides a great lesson for us as workplace believers. The need to over control things around us can prevent us from receiving all that God has for us.

It is human nature to control. But being obsessed with control can throw you OUT of control. During the hard first ten years of our married life, this description fit me perfectly...and I still must keep a careful eye on it. The Lord broke my controlling spirit with only a few words as I was emotionally praying about how awful my husband was and what needed to change in him. "Take your hands off him. As long as you are trying to control him, I can do nothing." It was time for me to back off the criticisms and comparisons. That evening I asked him for a moment of his time. I'm relatively sure he thought he was in trouble again. =} Poor guy. But what he heard was something he never expected. An apology and a plea for forgiveness and patience while I endeavored to do as the Lord had instructed. The Lord was faithful to his word.

"To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams." (I Samuel 15:22b)

A Little Goes a Long Way

Know what makes me happy? Kindness. Kindness makes me happy! I just returned from a trip to Subway for a turkey sandwich. The weather is beautiful and the wind is blowing. Hard. A young man entered the building before I got there, but he saw me coming and stood at the door (inside)and opened it for me, commenting as he did. "That wind is blowing so hard, thought I'd help you with the door." What a pleasant experience. Kindness. I like kindness.

Time for Natural Focus

Gearing up for a long day Sunday with a last minute decision to make a trip to St. Louis for a long over-due business adventure. My side-kick, Nicole and I are rising very early to arrive by 9 a.m. Question is...can I do it? Of course I can! It might be just a tad harder for me than it was 9 years ago (the last time I tried such a thing)but do it, I can!

I'm hoping to gain a little more knowledge on Internet marketing, navigating the ups and downs of a confused economy, and make-up artistry defined by ingredients and benefits. Those three will be my main focus, while hoping to secure a chance at seeing all the vendors and making judgement calls on what South Side should incorporate and what it should leave alone. Maybe there will be a chance for me to take in one or two "real" classes on hair cutting techniques and pedicure protocol. What I can't make it to, Nicole will...hopefully.

When all is said and done, my hope is to come back with more information than what I left Oklahoma with, having added to my existence here on planet Earth. You may say there are more important things to add to yourself than beauty information. I would have to say you are correct. However, the business God has set me over, gave me entrance into for purpose, I am to be a good steward over. So, whatever my hand finds to do, I hope I will always do it to the very best of my ability...even when it stretches me some. Especially when it stretches me. How else do we grow in what we've been trusted with? We either move forward or backward. If we continue to do as we've always done with no visible movement, we begin to stink. And become quite useless and might I add, avoided. We become boring and over-looked. And our talent will moss over and God will give it to someone else to complete His design for humanity. My work is my platform for expanding the kingdom of God, and if I am not very good at what I do, my platform will disappear. So, even though there might be more important things than beauty to focus on, this just happens to be the arena I have been given responsibility in. So off I go.

I shall miss my friends at LifeGate Church this week, but shall see them next.
MJ

Let the Change Begin!

Our oldest daughter will become a married woman this June. The plans are to stay on the beach in the Outer Banks of North Carolina the week prior to the wedding. I've been thinking about that. With all the fun coming our way, I've just about decided to extend the excitement for one more week. Not to worry, sis, we're not staying at your house...well, you'd be gone anyway...so I suppose it wouldn't matter so much. But that's not the plan. Did you hear that? I FINALLY HAVE A PLAN! Haven't had one for some time now. Feels good.

Think I'll bring our living room up to snuff. Last trip our girls made home (last month), I caught them looking around, giggling and pointing their little skinny fingers at all Mom's archaic fixtures. Time just slips right on by a person if they aren't looking. The last time our living room had any attention was back in 1989 or 90. Looonnngggg time ago. So I suppose it's time. Thanks to my girls. Probably would have suffered through another 20 or so years had they, (well...Lindsey), not pointed out how very old my decorations were.

So, week two of our summer vacation, will be spent painting and re-designing. Wow...hope I have some money left over from the wedding...not likely. =} Maybe I should start planning now and putting my tips and lunch money back for that. Oh, wait...that's what I'm doing NOW for the trip to NC. Maybe I could get a waitress job up the road just North of me and when I close the shop down, run up there and make a couple bucks extra. Nah...I'll find Dennis another job.

Well, it's been fun dreaming. Wonder what I'll come up with next. Any ideas?

Reflections

Wow! Thought I was past that sort of frustration. I really have come to believe I have mellowed out so much that it's near impossible to get me riled up. Guess I learned a thing or two yesterday.

It was the annoyance of coming upon these cars that one must share the road with, yet they act as if they are the only vehicle on the road. Truly oblivious. I don't think they even look in their rear view mirror. We have 8 casinos that surround Miami, so the road I must travel to get to work, or to the grocery store, has at least 3 of these money suckers lining the road and you can not tell the economy has any sort of problem by looking at the parking lots of these establishments.

But today is another day and I've "mellowed" out once again. But then, I'm home, and not put in the place of frustration. The day has ran smoothly. Hair re-touched, hair-cut, two loads of laundry completed, communion bread made, cobbler for the evenings meal baked, chicken cubed for Greek Pasta dish, and now it's on to cleaning the house before the actual preparation of dinner and meeting time. Got to "talk" with my girls, via text message, so, I've not really had to ponder the near crash on Hwy. 10 yesterday.

Okay...okay...now I'm getting worked up again. Shut it down, Mary. They'll always be out there. You'll just have to deal with it and have a very watchful eye. You have a wedding to attend in June...can't get killed just yet. =}

TURN IN THE KEYS!

MEMO TO SELF: When you become too old and feeble to compress the gas pedal of your nice expensive car, to make it go faster than 30 miles an hour on a very busy highway, TURN IN YOUR KEYS!!! If you try to convince yourself you've still got what it takes and others on the road (no...it doesn't belong to just you) can just deal with your inability to push that little pedal down, then POSSIBLY your reasoning has also gone the way of death. Zippo...it's GONE!!! Seriously now, Mary, when you can't seem to tell there are other cars on the road (or don't CARE) and it seems okay to you to just pull out of those little casino's directly in front of those other people (remember...there ARE others on the road!) then possibly you should call a loved one and give them your car keys. Got it? If you try really hard, you MAY be able to remember it was YOU that recorded this memo. If for whatever reason you simply can't remember this, just don't wear those little knit caps that point you out as being old, demented and feeble. I'm sure the "others" want you safe and love you anyway, even if you do consistently cause near pile ups on very busy roads. Remember when you were 62 years old and wrote this blog after a near heart attack because some little casino lady with a knit cap, lost in her own little world, was allowed to drive. Remember that you could always spot the casino addicts by their driving! Oblivious to everything and everyone around them. Semi trucks and cars alike, almost eating those cute little $35,000 cars, because the driver didn't want to miss any casino in the area. Give it up!