The Demons We Fight

Photo by Lindsey Lewis

Break downs. Emotional deficits. As years of being  invisible/unheard, often deplete value, so do the years of being  "too much," or "extra," deplete self-acceptance. Self-esteem.

There. I said it.

It feels much like a hammer that consistently pounds, while  having no desire to stop, will sub-consciously strike again, and  again...until the thing it is pounding is flattened completely.

Until there is no sign of resistance. Ever. 

Unless it wasn't what the hammer intended, one could say, "Mission accomplished."

Deep sorrow. Deep sadness overtakes the individual that is  fighting for their life. For the life they were given, but haven't  quite lived out as it was meant to be. Are they only imagining the feeling of unimportance, as they've been told time and time again?  

So many, "Why are you like this?' "And, "Why are you always...(fill in the blanks)?"

Are they simply listening to the insecurities that became a part of their life when they were convinced they weren't good enough. Pretty enough. Or lovable. They should be grateful for what they have. Even if it verifies what they have feared all along.

At this moment in time, I do think it may be the key that unlocks the whys...

When we finally arrive at the end of ourselves (again), many are the times we see more clearly. Truth has a way of coming forward when lies have extended their stay and have been exposed through death. Or a lack of caring any longer.

Maybe she was "too much" most of the time. It showed up as she was fighting to live. As she was trying her best to see the real person that had been created by a loving God...but by way of choice had became "less than" what he intended. 

Less than what was possible. Less than all the gifts placed inside from the first cell that developed, yet never revealed because fear demanded they be left to collect neuronic dust.

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

#LifeIssues #myjourneyamongtheunseen #greatisHisfaithfulness #mindpower