Gather?

Leaves gather. Squirrels gather. Thoughts gather. People gather. You know you've always wanted to know. What really constitutes a "gathering"? Are you a social misfit? A social wall flower? A loner? How about just an extroverted introvert? Well, that's me. If I'd have my druthers, I'd druther have as much space as possible. Don't really care for the definition of leaves gathering. Although, I do love watching them gather, and how beautiful they are when they do. I know. Gatherings can be beautiful. I also realize "having my space" sounds like a very lonely existence. But I promise you, I am far from lonely. Okay. Somedays I do have lonely feelings. But don't we all? Seriously, I would be a little concerned if all of humanity was always happy. Always fulfilled. 

So, just for fun and giggles, I looked up the definition, according to the Law Insider. I used this one because I didn't like Webster's definition. Isn't that what we're suppose to do? Just move on if we don't like an answer? That's kind of an inside joke, and those I share it with will know what I mean when saying it.

Social gathering means an assembly of 2 or more individuals for any purpose, unless all of the individuals attending the assembly are members of the same household or immediate family.

Social gathering Definition | Law Insider

Law Insider

https://www.lawinsider.com

Why did I want to know? Because I gathered with another person this morning (for a moment in time), other than my tried and true mate. Just the 2 of us. I have no idea if she is of like mind as myself, but it was a pleasant interaction. It happened on my morning walk ritual. I have never seen her on any other morning, so I'm guessing she is a guest at my neighbors house. And she said she was heading to Arizona tomorrow morning. We visited for approximately 10-15 seconds and was then on our way, each heading in opposite directions. I had interacted with a stranger, a person that crossed paths with me, for more than a simple wave and an utter of "Good Morning." It was nice.

So that you might not begin to worry about me, I do have the ability to "gather" with many. Just not for long periods of time. Two hours in and I'm ready to head to familiar places. I have acknowledged to myself, and others, that I have huge trust issues. I don't play games and try to hide from truth. Some would say I'm well adjusted because of that fact. Others brows crease when they learn this fact. Anywho...

For those of you who have a hard time gathering, I hear you. Maybe we should try harder...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

She Calls Me "Big Bootie Grams"

It began several years ago. She was staying with me, Grams, during her momma's working hours back in 2016, beginning when she was only 2 months old, through her 4th birthday. Somewhere during that time, she became an adult with the freedom that only the very young have. The freedom to speak truth. I think the term, "Big Bootie Grams" has become a nickname now. But she says it very lovingly. 🤣

Our girl has always been a very observant tyke with very keen ears with which to hear. With all that youth pent up inside her, truthful words had a tendency to fill the atmosphere whenever we were together. Especially while chatting up a storm during our afternoon ritual of swinging and solving all of our little piece of the world's problems. "Our Time" was always a refreshing time of conversation because I knew truth (as seen through a toddlers eyes) would shine its light. 

I do miss those afternoons of it being just she and I, watching nature being nature. Our feet would touch the sky as the challenges began between the very young and the not-so-young. We noticed the colors of the trees changing, the squirrels gathering nuts (and only God knows what else), the deer peeking through the wooded area just to the left of us, as birds sang their songs while flapping around in the water fountain. We shared secrets. We talked smack about Gramps and how much she loved him. We played "Tag! You're It!" We raked up mounds of freshly fallen leaves so we could run through them, just to hear the sounds they gave back to us and the universe. We examined the beauty of butterfly wings and when a white or yellow one appeared, we were sure they had come just to make us smile. On days when the heat index was a little much, we sat in our perspective swings, waiting for the breeze we knew would come suddenly. It was only a matter of time before the movement of angel wings came to cool us. We never lost those moments. We jumped from the swings and with arms stretched out from our sides, we lifted our heads and stood very still while it swirled around us. And play ensued. 

We built tiny insect houses made of gathered sticks and leaves from the yard. Nor could any home be left without a flag waving on a pole, pushed deep into the earth for stabilization. We gathered sticks and piled them up just in case the tiny creatures needed a fire. Much of the time we would also leave directions along side the path (aka our driveway), to any such home available for residency. One day we even created a safe "Monkey Trap" so the monkeys wouldn't destroy the newly built home(s). Reagan's imagination took flight as we created very important structures for homeless insects. 

There were days we spent mostly inside, as well. Those were times of so much laughter as we rose to the challenge of "Statue" creeping. In case you are wondering what in the world that is, it was a game we made up, just to pass the time of day. I would "go for a walk-about" and she would "stay where she was" until I got back. I just needed some time to think. As I began my journey, she would leave her place (quietly) and fall in behind me. Me: "What was that? I think someone must be following me." I would quickly turn to look, with eyes wide, to see who was there. But all I ever found was a really cute statue that looked soooo much like our girl, Reagan. They would be frozen in place and always different. Once I examined the "statue", I would make some comment about taking it home with me, or painting it, or laying it on the couch out of my way. Then I would move on, only to "hear another noise as if someone was following me." This game could go on indefinitely! 

Another game she loved was "Ole!" This one had me holding a tea towel as I waved it around saying, "Ole!" That was what the "bull" was waiting for and then the charge was happening. She ran as fast as she could down the galley kitchen's floor, heading for the waving white flag. This is where pretend is needed, 'cause I didn't have a red towel. It didn't matter to her. We were having fun! She would try to grab the towel as she charged through it. If she could manage to catch it, as it flowed up over her head, she won. Then Grams had to be the bull. She got way too good at this game. 😂

I love this kid so much! She's our first grand-baby, and as the years would have it, has grown now into a stunning young miss. New memories are being made, when time allows. Being in school limits our together time and makes memory catching a looked for event. But look for them, we will!

The hours spent with "Snookums", as I called her (among other things 😂), will live on in my memories for which I will be eternally grateful. I have so many endearing moments captured in my heart from those years. Meg said I was helping her, by watching over Reagan while she worked. But truth be told, it was she who was helping me. 

Big Bootie Grams, taking a stroll down memory lane, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Dad's Sayings That Stuck With Me

Look how small my momma was after 10 kids!!!

Yesterday, a client asked me if I missed my Dad. It was a question that came out of the blue. He had asked some questions about my childhood and as he was leaving, surprised me with this question. It now has me thinking about my response. And about my dad.

Poor Richard's Almanac was a book written by Ben Franklin, back in the 15th century. It's a book that my dad quoted from on occasion, and has a statement within its pages that says, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." My father quoted that statement frequently, especially when we siblings many, questioned the reasoning behind going to bed so early. I suppose it was his way of encouraging us. But the reality of it all was living on a farm with many mouths to feed, we had to get to bed early to acquire enough sleep to energize us throughout the next day. We rose at 4 AM to start our day at the milk barn attending to 20+ head of holstein cows. And the only "milking machines" we had was our own hands. Without going into explaining just how exhausting herding a bunch of cows was, while walking in ankle deep mud (during the summer months), and then prepping them to allow us access to their milk, I will tell you that "early to bed" was a necessity. And that was just the beginning of our day! I've followed this rule most of my life, but am still wondering when the "wealthy" part is going to kick in. 😉😉

Within those pages Franklin also wrote, "Be also ashamed to catch thyself idle." Another (almost) quote my father used often. Actually, Dad said, "Idleness is the Devil's workshop." Same, only differently said. We were reminded of this daily. I didn't really think about that one until I was much older. We just did as we were told...without question. Now that I'm an adult, working in an adult world, I really do get it!!! Idleness allows the mind to travel places that maybe it shouldn't. It's way too easy for the younger generation to fall into this abyss and that is where trouble looms. An active, work oriented person, generally keeps out of so much trouble. Not to suggest that working all the time is healthy, just that it keeps one focused on the chore at hand with no time for frivolously conjuring up something that may eventually bring one into harms path.

"Waste not, want not" was another term that was drilled into us as we tilled the soil, harvested the garden and corn fields, and sat down to the healthy meals prepared by my Mom's loving hands. I can only guess where this came from, and my guess is the fact our parents went through the great depression of 1929-1941 that ended during World War II. Mom spoke about waiting in soup lines during those hard years. Many things were rationed and one couldn't purchase just anything they wanted. Even if they had the money to do so. Which they rarely did.

 

I was born (the 10th child) in 1947. My brother, Rush, number 7, was born in 1941. So our parents raised 7 kids during those tremendously hard years. My mom and dad were married in 1925 and had their first child in 1926. Every 2 years another one of us popped out. I think a couple of the first four were born 3 years apart, or close to it. But the rest of our clan (8 more of us), was only 2 years apart. Mom carried 11, but lost one when she was thrown from the back of a flat-bed truck. I also think the great depression caused most families to be savers and people that repurposed items. It's equally hard for me to dispose of things I think might come in handy at a later date. As I've aged, I've gotten much better at throwing things out that haven't been used for awhile, but it takes a LOT of determination. The "what ifs" always invade my brain. 

PICTURE INFO: Left to Right, back row: Earl (Dad), Erna (Mom), Helen (first born), Melvin (second), Don (third), Ken (fourth). Front Row: Martha aka Marty (fifth), Etna (six), Rush (seventh), Rebecca aka Becky (eight), Daniel aka Dan or Danny (nineth), and little ole me, Mary (tenth). We sure did line 'em up, didn't we. 😂  It's funny that I can remember that particular skirt I had on that day. Mom had made it for the school year and it was my favorite. 

What a scrawny bunch we were! It wasn't from lack of food, so it must have been all that hard work, right? And maybe a little because our sugar was well regulated. Mom was an excellent cook and knew what we needed for the work that was in front of us. Our day-starting meal was usually made up of home-made biscuits and gravy, fried chicken and mashed potatoes. It was a hearty meal for sure, and is why we had any meat on our bones at all, I'm thinking. On occasion, Mom would bring home a bottle or two of soda pop from her monthly trip to town for staples, such as sugar, salt, and flour. We made our own butter (cows, remember). Should we ever ask for any of the soda pop (which we rarely did), she would allow a couple of swallows from a very small juice glass. And we knew not to ask for more. I think it was her personal reward for all the hard work she did to provide food for us all.

One last saying of Dads. Should (when) any of us got in the mullygrubs, he would always say, "The best is yet to come," as a smile etched itself across his face and a twinkle sparked from his eyes. That was his way of cheering us on, I suppose. Dad was a reader, when there was time for it. He was also a highly intelligent man, earning a Bachelor of Science degree while in college. His adult life consisted of a farm that supported a large family and eventually became a dairy farm as well, running a 3 generations sawmill (that eventually became 6), and ministry in the Methodist Church. He was a busy boy! As were his offspring...

These are only a few of the things Dad would inject into our day, as needed. Bible reading and prayer, was a required routine to our day, too. Morning, to start the day, and evening, as we prepared for rest to thank God for his provisions. I remember one day when my brother Danny and I weren't "on the job", Dad told us to read Psalm 119 in its entirety. He expected a run-down of the words written in that very lengthy chapter, when he got home. Having 176 verses, it is the longest chapter in the whole Bible. I'm pretty sure we didn't read them all. My memories of that day are vague, to say the least. I only remember Danny and I looking at each other with unbelief. How in the world were we to accomplish this task and be able to let Dad know what we learned from it. I think it must have been Dad's way of keeping us busy with idle body work, while engaging our brains at the same time. I have no idea how we escaped farm life that day...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

Conquering Stress

"MANAGING" STRESS

If you know me, even just a little, you know that my brain seems to challenge me and will focus on an issue that may be affecting me or someone I love. Or those I come in contact with who are willing to share a part of their day with me. Issues can weigh hard on me if I allow them.

Much of humanity seem stressed to the max, these days. The phrase one will most often hear from a doctors office is, "You need to manage your stress levels." Personally, I don't think that's even a possible thing one can do. Maybe a better phrase would be, "You need to consider eliminating something you are now being held responsible for, that isn't imperative you do." Then, possibly, your stress levels would diminish somewhat. Still...I doubt it. There will always be something that we feel responsible for that requires maybe a little too much of our attention. And what would one eliminate anyway? If you have a family, that alone can swallow most of your day. And we certainly can't eliminate the only thing that puts food on the table. Our work is vitally important.

But, the good news is this. We CAN manage our peace of mind. That, in and of itself, will cause stress to diminish to a level we didn't think possible. Or, at the very least, not destroy our health.

Maybe the situations that happen within a 24 hour period of time can be seen as opportunities instead of obstacles. Doesn't our state of mind determine how we deal with daily happenings? I know. I know... Too many "opportunities" can be piled way too high on our backs and will cause our focus to switch back to obstacles, feeling our hands are tied and that we just can't get ahead.

Maybe we could change our perspective. Here are a few things that have helped me when I'm feeling overwhelmed, or stressed. Hopefully, they can help you, too.

1) Where did I wake up this morning? Was it in a free world, or was it in a world with severely limited resources? Also, consider the fact I DID wake up.
2) Did I wake up with a roof over my head? If I did, I have a lot to be grateful for.
3) Do I have my own transportation, aka/car or truck? Many don't.
4) Do I have employment? Many don't.

Synopsis: We've been taught to focus on what's going wrong in our part of the world (in our personal lives), instead of what's going right. I'm not saying we should stick our heads in the sand and ignore the difficulties, the facts of living life, but to choose to see the light that is all around us while we're walking through the dark.

Maybe gratitude is the answer to conquering stress...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

Sleepless in North Carolina

I should be in bed. It's the time of the night that God created for rest. Going to bed early has its drawbacks, it would seem, but lately my body has demanded it be so. The last 3 days I have been a bit restless and not knowing why, exactly, end up hitting the sack way too early from sheer exhaustion. Maybe it's the lack of activity instead of too much activity? 🤷‍♀️

I do know this. We must find a solution for the amount of mosquitos that love our back yard, and ME! Last evening, while watering the plethora of plants under the arbor, that also has a continually running fountain (where mosquitos are NOT suppose to be because of the running water), I was attacked by 15 of those seemingly hungry blood suckers. Needless to say, I have very large, itchy, whelps up and down both arms. After washing my arms with soap and water, I smooth Cortizone Cream up and down the venomous entry ports. It helped for a while. Next attempt at relief I rub pure Rubbing Alcohol over every single bite. Now I smell horrible and my skin has the beginnings of Sahara-like dryness. 

Intense itching woke me at 1:23 AM this morning, and I have been up ever since. This has the makings of a long day, but I will find the silver lining.

After beginning a load of laundry and setting the security alarm (ahem, DW), my thoughts were to try going back to bed. Entering the kitchen, the smells of coffee waiting to be brewed, get my attention. I hesitate, but not for long. My eyes were wide open and I figured sleep was seriously off the table, still, I didn't want to wake my husband with the aroma that permeates our home when coffee is brewing. Yet, seeing the brew button in position, all that was left to do was simply press the on/off button to ON. Resistance is futile when it comes to the smells of Highlander Grogg Coffee (even before brewing). As liquid gold began its descent, I prep the coffee cup with a scoop of Collegene Peptides, 2 teaspoons of Beyond Brew Mushroom Coffee, and a pinch of Cinnamon, and wait patiently for the deliciousness to get its jam on. As I grab a fresh Cinnamon stick for stirring, I wonder if this is really coffee I'm about to drink. But...tiredness in my bones, and eyes refusing to close, here I stand, waiting for whatever this is, to ask permission to enter my body. Permission granted! Sorry D, I have a long day in front of me.

Three hours have passed since the early waking hour. The day has truly begun now that it's 4:30. Soon, the sun will light up the morning sky to declare more opportunities coming our way. Will I see them? Hopefully, the whole creation that resides within will be on high alert and not fall asleep in the middle of whatever, or whomever, is sent its way.

Heading back for another cup of joe, here you will find me...in Mary's World. ~Colossians 4:2