Notes About Our First Home

The rock lined drive was an instant draw for me. Pulling into the drive, we slowed the car to a crawl and pulled up next to the large rocks as the gravel beneath the tires welcomed us. We sat for a moment, just taking in the dynamics of what looked like a mansion to us. It was early 1976.

There, directly in front of us, was a house that came complete with a double car garage. Something we had never had! Sitting like a picture amongst many trees, while 2 large Oaks guarded the property from the busyness of the highway just South of it. The house seemed to tell us we were home. 

We were two young kids needing a place to grow a family. A place to allow roots to grow. Literally and metaphorically. It seemed as if a dream was about to come true, all the while wondering how in the world we would be able to afford such a place. The price tag was an unreachable $21,000. Laugh, if you must, but that was a chunk of change in the 70's.

My sister, Becky, lived only a quarter of a mile straight West of the house and had alerted us to the sale. "It will be perfect for you and Dennis! And you will be just down the road from me & Den," she exclaimed. "Just come and take a look." I think Becky had become so accustomed to watching out for me, and had become more-so of a protective mother figure over the years. It made her heart happy to think of me being "just down the road."

The home was owned by a young woman who had recently became widowed when her husband came down with pneumonia and couldn't pull out of it. Having two small children still in diapers, she was planning a move back home...closer to where her parents lived. Beck thought we might get a reduced price because of the owner's need to move quickly. 

The owner welcomed us inside, but my feet wouldn't move beyond the entrance as my eyes took in as much as they could in those first few seconds. As we walked through the house, room by room, it all seemed so familiar. So very us. Entering the kitchen/dining area, my first words were, "Dennis! Look! There's the Avocado Green stove and fridge we talked about wanting!" It was the dominant green color of the decade! I was in heaven!

The house had one bathroom, 3 small bedrooms and a double car garage! With central heat and air, it was enticing. The Master bedroom was only a couple square feet bigger than the others, but we instantly knew which one it was. When we entered the bathroom, one door up from the bedroom, we found the design of the home had been intentional. There, inside the bathroom, sat a lovely Avocado Green Bathtub, completing the look of the appliances in the kitchen. The woman's in-laws were wealthy land owners with a hunk of property sitting just behind the fenced in land we were hoping to buy, and obviously the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree... 

After our walk-through, the owner sat down with us. She hadn't put the property in the hands of a realtor because she knew it would be an easy sell. Her husbands family had connections. In fact, the day we looked at the house, her brother-in-law had already signed papers of intent that was sitting on the table. She, herself, hadn't signed just yet. She battled with the sale, waiting, hoping someone else would come to purchase it. Waiting on someone she connected with. Someone who she felt would continue the love she and her husband had shared inside its four walls. And someone young enough to make it a homestead, filled with little ones. 

The moment Becky heard the property was for sale, she put in a call to us, wanting to make sure we had a chance to talk with the owner before it sold. We called immediately and set up a time to look. The young woman that now held the deed to the house, was a lovely creature. So welcoming, open, and detailed about all she and her husband had done to the house. We connected. Even to the point of staying in touch for several years after the sale. 

We had no down payment, nothing to offer, only a promise to care for the house as best we could. Yet, she believed us to be the ones God intended for the house. Because of that, she came down $1.500 when the FHA loan authority wouldn't give more than $19.500. She said, "I really want you to have this home. Pay me the extra $1,500 when you can. And if life is hard, please don't worry about it. This is to be your home, regardless." If you but listen, God will lead you...even when you're unaware it is by his hand that things fall into place.

The day of moving in, we found a folder laying on the table she left behind just for us. Inside it was a letter and detailed instructions. She had spent the evening crying, praying, as she wrote down every service provider, and their contact numbers that we would need to keep the house maintained. Things she had trouble with previously. Providers that were familiar with the house and were trusted workers were on the list. Even this, God knew we (okay, I) would need. Inside the folder was also a personal letter, telling of the love her and her family had shared in the home. She poured out her heart in those handwritten letters that formed words of hope for a lasting atmosphere inside the walls built with so much love. 

I think I have mentioned in other posts how the first 10 years of our marriage were more challenging than we had hoped. Maybe others melt together instantly. That wasn't our story, however. It was work. Hard work for 2 totally opposite people who had promised (when promises meant something), to never allow the "divorce" word to escape our mouths. Nor our hearts. It was not an option. We would figure it out...with God's help. Which involved a couple of people willing to go to battle for us. My sister, Becky...and her faithful husband, Denny. Oh man...they should have written a book of being on the battlefield for those continually attracting arrows. 

We made it, though! The previous owner of our first home would approve, I hope. And love did live in that first structure we called home. So did angst and division. But we kept reminding ourselves why we chose marriage in the first place, and it became more real when God handed us two beautiful souls from his hand-picked collection. The first entered our lives after almost 8 years of marriage. I had wanted a baby so much so that I'm confident He gave me the desire of my heart, only after he felt I could be trusted to point them back to Him. And then he sent a second one to complete a dynamic duo that would prove his love comes in different shapes and sizes. Different personalities. Different dreams. Different visions of what life should look like, occasionally. Meg came only 19 months after Lindsey. God had brought out the big guns when they were needed the most to prove it's not over until he declares it so. After several doctors had told us it wasn't possible for me to conceive, God stepped in and said, "Watch this!" 

When it came time to sell that first home, some 36 years later, the memories of days, of years, gone by flooded every room as it was being prepared. Some would say the spirits of the past came to visit on the daily. Cherished memories reminded me (of us) the joys, the sorrows, the linked arms and hopes, that had occupied the home God had provided in those first years of marriage. The home that helped us navigate the uncertain waters of a future that declared victory instead of failure. Of a future where strength came from adversity. Where boundaries were broken, then mended. Where prayers became a constant in the midst of uncertainty. Where battles were won in spite of the wounds encountered.

The house had been built to protect love...no matter how it got there. And it did. Even when others couldn't see it, we knew it. A book is rarely known just by looking at its cover. Inside books, where true love is the goal, one will find battles to be won. Obstacles to overcome. Surprises that jump out of nowhere. Unexpected challenges. Any good book builds on the emotions of its readers and their senses. True unconditional love doesn't come easily. Any good thing never does. It settles in after wars have been won. Once truth has been revealed and right choices made. Once the many battles are laid to rest and one can look back and say, "It is well with my soul." 

We all have a story to tell...

In the interest of being transparent, I will say that whoever lives inside a house that is becoming a home, young and old alike, will most likely feel some of the fall out of battles being fought. They most likely will have shrapnel (so-to-speak) deeply imbedded in their hearts. The flesh fails us, and until we give up our rights to our selfish nature, there will be remnants of "the old man" still visible. No matter how hard we try to protect our children, they hear and see things they can't unsee, or no longer feel, once selfishness takes hold of the adults inside that dwelling. Often times, a person appears to be someone they are not. Behind closed doors, right? Again...it's not over until God says it's over. And His work continues in us until He's ready to call us home. Until we see life as it was meant to be.

One last thing: The day our truck had been loaded, and the Pod that was filled with the belongings we couldn't part with was on its way to NC, Dennis asked for my hands as he prayed over the home that had provided shelter to our family, and ministry to others...in various ways, for so many years. That day, as tears ran down our faces, we thanked God; we thanked the house for all they had harbored and cared for. Of the provision we had received because of the obedience of a young widow and her 2 babies. The house had seen so much activity. So much life within its walls. So many tears, So much laughter. So much pain. So much happiness. The home built for another, that ended up being ours...for a time.

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

P.S. In 1978 we converted the garage into my first beauty salon, added a carport, and less than a year later, added a full double walled rock fireplace. That was fun! The workers knocked out the entire wall between home and garage and built a fireplace inside the home while adding the same rocks to the wall inside the salon. Laying a foundation and hearth (both sides), the look was stunning! We put a wood-burning stove in the salon for an additional cozy spot, just to finish the ambiance with a welcoming atmosphere. While the workers were there, we hired them to add that same rock halfway up the outside of our home, the entire length and around the sides. I was so in love!