My first emotional connection to these creatures, or in this particular case, their likeness in a ceramic form, was during the Christmas holidays back in 2012. I had moved to North Carolina that past August. I moved ahead of my husband (he stayed in Oklahoma, to sell our house), to get the new salon up and running before the holidays hit. We both thought it the right thing to do, since 1)we had been told our place would sell quickly, and 2)the place I had my eye on to set up business, was quickly filling up. If we didn't act now, the chances of getting the spot I wanted would slip away. So we made the decision, together, that he would stay behind. I didn't like it. It was the hardest thing to send him back once we arrived in NC, with little more than the clothes on my back.
One of our oldest daughter's upstairs bedrooms became my home for the next year...and Dennis had our house all to himself. Like most things, there was the good and the not-so-good attached to that plan. We talked each night before going to bed, reassuring each other (okay...he reassured me), that it was all going to be okay.
As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, I began to feel myself falling. I was able to maintain somewhat of a positive attitude, but with each long day, my confidence began disappearing. I allowed myself to become easily intimidated and feelings of uselessness overtook me. So unlike me.
That first Christmas, Dennis flew in to celebrate with us...his family, that was now 1200 miles apart. We, along with Todd & Lindsey & Meg, took a small road trip, going West, to Boone and Blowing Rock. They have a lot of really cool shops in both these small towns. Upon entering one of those shops, my eyes immediately saw the prettiest ceramic birds I seen up to that time. I loved the coloring on them, and the touch of detail to their wings and tail feathers.
For no reason at all, except for the fact I was an emotional wreck by that time, I could not contain my tears. We had already spent what money we planned on spending for each other, and they weren't just pocket change. I may have said something like, "I have no place to put them even if we could afford them." Yup...feeling really low. I wouldn't allow myself to even consider we were close to owning our own place again.
I think it was Lindsey who spoke to her daddy about getting the birds for me as a deposit of something better to come. For hope of a future together again. Along with the birds, he had also purchased a large flat screen television to put in my room. He was helping me cope as best he could. Such a thoughtful guy...and I was so happy to actually be able to look at something (the birds) I could wrap my head around for better days ahead. Something of promise.
I fell in love with the birds and the significance they spoke of. Freedom. How I needed freed...from myself. From my thoughts. From my lack of perspective. From my increasingly growing waistline (and neck). And most of all, from my moping attitude.
So began my love affair with these creatures.
A year after my move, our house sold, and D was able to make his move to NC as well. Now, we have bird feeders, bird houses, and bird baths, in our yard. It is so much fun watching God's creatures as they build, eat, and bathe. They bring a sense of peace to our place...and now I need a deck...it's always something, right?
A couple of days ago, I was meandering around downtown Cary, checking out the businesses that I have not taken the time to visit yet. I came upon a little home and garden shop. I loved the style of the exterior, so decided to venture inside. They had so much to look at, but in a little back room I spotted a couple of small birds that I knew I'd be taking home with me. Aren't they the cutest little things? And unlike the ones purchased in Boone, these little fellas cost me only a bit of pocket change. They're an "I told you so", another prompting to notice the little things in life and not become weighted down from a lack of perspective. When we look at the dust around our feet, it doesn't take long for that dust to become a mire much like quicksand. And it's only purpose is to consume us so that we might not see purpose...and then lose perspective.
Thanking God for His kindness towards us, even in the little things...here, you'll find me...in Mary's World.
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